Concealed Attractions (Cedar Island Tales) (6 page)

“You really are out of shape—or is it something else?” Monica
waited for Danni to catch up
. “Are you wearing a pushup?”

“No, of course not. Why are you asking?”

“Your boobs lo
ok
bigger.
”
Monica
pursed her lips
. “Y
ou’re not pregnant, are you? You remind me of when Bonn
ie got pregnant with Toby. H
er boobs were the first to get big
. Way before
her stomach.”

“My boobs are
not
bigger. T
his
tank top
is just a
little
tight.”

“Then m
aybe you’re just bloated. I get bloated before my period. What about you?”
They rode to the end of the block.
“When was your last period?”

Danni
was silent. “I can’t remember. But
I’ve never been
that regular.
Right after
finals first term, I skipped two months in a row.”

“If you haven’t had a period and you were—you know—doing it, maybe you should take a pregnancy
test—to make sure you aren’t.
You
were
using protection, weren’t you? The pill?”

“I never got them. But Steve had condoms.” Except he hadn’t always used them. That last time before finals, he’d promised he would pull out in time.
Danni
hitched a quick breath.

“
What are you going to do
now,
if you are
, y
ou know. That word
you don’t want
me to say
.
Maybe you should
get one of those at-home
test
s
—to make sure you aren’t.
”

“
Maybe.
Come on,
I’ll beat you back to your house
. I’m starving.
” 
How can I make her stop thinking that? I need to figure out what to do
if she’s right. B
ut she can’t be
.
Dannilynn
didn’t want
to even consider
Monica’s suspici
ons
. She headed down the hill
fast, determined to show Monica she could still
beat her in a bike race, and maybe outrun her fears
at the
sam
e time
.

“
Danni
, are you still here?”

She
shoved the ripped packaging
onto
the top shelf and shut the cabinet door.
“I’m in the lab
, Bronnie.
”

“Joel
isn’t back from
Woolley Acres yet
.
Will
you
check that
the back door is locked
when you leave
?”

“Sure.”
Danni
leaned against the door. When she
was certain
Bronnie
had left
the building
, she
peered again
at the bottom of the test tube
in her hand
. She
retrieved the packaging and
re-read the in
structions, her head spinning.
Maybe I did it wrong or the test is out-dated
.
This can’t be right.
She
brushed her hair off her shoulders and
star
ed
at the date on the box.

Tears stung her eyes as she imagined w
hat her mother would say to her,
about her.
What am I going to do?
And
her father, so stern, so clear about what women were, what they did
, and what they didn’t do
.

Why hadn’t she insisted on a condom every time
? Steve had said—but what Steve said
didn’t
matt
er.
Just thinking of him and what he’d done made her shiver
,
and not in a good way
.
This had to be his fault, but s
he couldn’t tell him, she wouldn’t tell him.
Danni
sat down and
leaned
her head
against
her hands
, trying not to cry, except her eyes wouldn’t listen
.

The back door
of the clinic
slammed. “
Danni
, you here?”

She couldn’t let Ben
know
. Ben, with the laughing eyes and sandy hair that fell over his forehead when
ever
he
leaned
over a table, concentrating on the animal he was treating. Ben had set her pulse racing the first time she saw him, even though she refused to admit to herself
that she was attracted to him.
She
couldn’t let herself be anything other than a friend. Ben
was
so kind to her, not pushy like Steve.
And
Ben seemed to like her
. He’d said he was glad to have her
as a friend
, that she made his work easier when he was learning so much
. Would he still
like her
if he knew?

She
dump
ed the test tube into the medical waste can and
tossed
the
packaging
in
the direction of
the
paper goods
waste basket.

“I’m
in
here.
I told Bronnie I’d
lock up.” She rubbed her arm across her face,
afraid he might
notice the tears on her cheeks
.

“Are y
ou coming over later to help me with the Dobie?” He pushed open the door.
“Hey, y
ou
look
like you’ve seen a ghost.
Are you
okay
?”

“I’m fine, just resting. I didn’t eat lunch, is all.” She
glanced at him
. “I’m fine.
Really
.”

He approached
the small refrigerator
, shoved the vials of medicines out of the way
and pulled out two apples
from a plastic bag
. “Here, eat this. It’ll give you some energy.” He leaned
his lanky frame
over her and grinned, “Since when do you skip lunch?”

“I didn’t feel
much like eating today. We were so busy
.”
And I was afraid I’d be sick again.
She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest
, willing her hands to not shake
. “You don’t always eat lunch
, either
.”

“
True, especially
on days like today
.”
He
peered
more closely
at her.
“You sure you’re okay
?”

Don’t look at me like that.
“
Yes. I just want
to be alone for a
while—before I go home.”

“Are your folks on your case?
Because you got home late the last couple of times we went out to Woolley Acres?
” He
finished
the apple and tossed
the core into the
trash can
before stretching to his full height.

She
shook her head.
B
ut they will be
.

“So,
are you coming
over tonight, to help me with
Happy
?”
he repeated.

“I’ll call you later
.”

Ben
opened the door
between the lab and the general treatment area
and leaned against the jamb. “Well, if you
decide
to come over, let me know. I
’m
thinking of walking him along that trail in the woods—where we
saw
you
right after
you started working here.”

She
looked around for her purse, grabbed it, and
stood
suddenly.
Oh
oh
,
bad
mistake.
Feeling dizzy, she sway
ed
before reaching one hand toward the wall to catch herself
.

“Hey, careful!” Ben
grabbed her elbow
and helped
her sit back down.
“
Are you sure you’re not sick?”

“
I’m
okay
. Really. I
just
have to get home.” She rose
again, more slowly this time,
and followed him out the door. She couldn’t stay another minute.

“Want me to drop you off?” he offered.
“So you don’t have to walk?”

“
No, t
hanks. I need the exercise.” 
As she walked home,
her shoulders slumped. What would
Joel
do if he found out?
Would he fire her? Maybe she could hide
it
until she went back to school.  Her mind skittered over possibilities.

She forced herself not to
shed a single tear
, not to give her parents an excuse to ask her what was wrong. She
had
to talk to
Monica.
Her friend had
said she’
d keep her fingers crossed
when Danni told her she was
going to get a pregnancy test,
that
she was sure it
wouldn’t be positive. Except it was.
L
ife had seemed so easy, so good when she was at school—before
finals
.

She
rounded the corner and walked down the driveway to the front door of her house. What
was
she
going to do?

The next day, j
ust before she
left
for home
, Ben called to her
while
recording his notes on his most recent
pat
ient. “Any chance you could come over this evening and help
me with Happy, the Doberman—since you
stood us up yesterday
?”

Wouldn’t that be nice? And it would give her time to spend with Ben. Maybe she’d tell him, a kind of test of how Joel might react if she had to tell him.
“
I’ll come if I can. Just don’t count on it, okay?”

Dannilynn
raised the issu
e over dinner. Her father didn’
t
look
up from the steak he was cutting. “Where does this Ben fellow live?”

“Over on Eighth Street. He’s renting a little house. It’s not far from the clinic.”

“Be home before dark.
”
He
looked
at his daughter. “Is he picking you up?”

“
I can ride my bike.”

“Good.” H
e went back to his dinner. “Be
fore
dark,” he repeated.

When she arrived
at
Ben’s house
, he was practicing with the dog in the back yard
, signaling him with his hand
.

“What are you trying to get him to do?”
she asked.

“Sit.”

The dog cocked his head at Ben, but did not respond.

“Here, try it this way.” S
he to
ok
the dog’s lead, positioned herself at his side, lifted his head and
pushed down on his hindquarters.
“Sit, Happy.” 

He did. 

She
gave
a doggy treat to the Doberman, who stood up and tried to walk toward Ben and his outstretched hand.
“
Sit, Happy.
”
Danni
repeated what she
had done before, rewarding him
after he sat, holding his hindquarters down so that he could not jump up.
After two more repetitions, she turned to Ben.