Coming Home (23 page)

Suddenly Wyatt realized something. After being worried and angry about this trip for the past forty-eight hours, he had told the truth. He was suddenly looking forward to it.

He couldn’t say why, knew it was dumb to build up any expectations where Nicole was concerned. Still, something deep inside him had sparked to life at the sight of that smile.

And he truly did look forward to seeing it directed at him again.

Early that evening, Nicole sat with Justin on the deck of Wyatt's boat, watching the sun set on the horizon as they sailed away from shore. The Gulf was as calm and clear as bathwater.

"It's beautiful," she murmured.

Justin nodded, then glanced toward Wyatt. "Need any help?"

Wyatt shook his head as he strolled over to join them. "No. We'll wait until after sunset, then drop anchor for the night."

Nicole shifted her gaze from the horizon to the man standing next to her. Wyatt's body was like a part of the boat beneath him. His lean form moved with the motion of the water, rolling with the light surf, anticipating each dip and sway of his vessel. The last of the sunlight shone on his dark hair, catching glints of gold, and Nicole felt a rush of desire flood her.

She'd missed him. Not just for the past few days, but for the past eleven years.

Despite the fact that he’d been avoiding her, that his anger and resentment still simmered beneath his polite words, she wasn't anywhere near ready to give up on this man. Though her son was right beside her, all she could think about was the taste of Wyatt's lips, the feel of his hands on her body. And the sweet whispers of love he'd offered her.

Nicole allowed her eyes to slowly travel up his body, pausing, drinking in the sight of him while she remembered the delicious intimacies they'd shared. When her gaze finally met his, the heat she saw there singed her. He'd felt her stare, responded to it. It was as if they were alone. His anger with her could not conceal his desire. He wore it like a scent, it exuded from his every pore. She sensed it, felt it, responded to it as if he'd touched her.

Neither of them said a word. They didn't need to. Nicole knew without ever asking that Wyatt wanted her as much as he ever had. His eyes blazed, his lips were parted and wet. She knew he was remembering every stroke, touch, and thrust, just as she was.

But it wasn't enough. She wanted more than just his body, though she wanted that very badly at the moment. She wanted the man. She wanted to make a life with him, the life they'd been denied. She wanted his love. And right now, she’d do just about anything to get it.

"Anything to eat?" Justin asked as he stepped up to stand beside his father on deck.

Nicole shook off the sensual feelings, blinking her eyes, shaking her head. Her brain slowly emerged from its fuzzy state. Justin watched her, a look of expectation on his face.

"You bet," Wyatt replied, heading for the cooler and retrieving sandwiches and fruit.

They ate dinner on the deck as the sun dropped off the edge of the water and stars began popping up in the sky. What Nicole and Wyatt lacked in conversation, Justin more than made up for. He told jokes, did voices, had the two of them roaring with laughter as he impersonated his last gym teacher.

“This is great,” Justin finally said as the three of them sat in silence and finished the last of their meal.

More than great. It verged on wonderful.

Wyatt lit a few deck lights and they curled up on lounge chairs to listen to the water lapping against the side of the boat. Nicole didn't think she'd ever experienced a more tranquil moment. Wyatt wasn't smiling at her, but he wasn’t frowning, either. He seemed content to give Justin the pleasure of an evening with his parents...
both
his parents.

The interlude, however, seemed too perfect to last. It was Justin, himself, who shattered it. "Mom, I think you ought to know, I've told Wyatt I'd spend the rest of the summer with him. I mean, that is if you decide to go back to Baltimore, I want to stay in Florida."

Nicole frowned. She hadn't thought of going back to Maryland any time soon, but the thought of leaving at all, leaving Justin behind, was terrifying. "Justin, I don't know..."

"You don't know what?" Wyatt bit out. "You don't know if you and your mother can spare a few weeks out of your hectic lives to let Justin spend time with other members of his family?"

His anger was palpable, but Nicole didn't flinch. "Wyatt, don't put words in my mouth. What I was going to say, is that I don't know when I'll be leaving."

Justin seemed to realize he'd sparked a battle, and he quickly interjected, "Hey, we don't need to decide tonight. You know, I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go downstairs and go to bed. Mom, you don't have to come with me. I'll take the bunk on the right, okay?"

He didn't wait for her reply, but got up and scooted away quickly. Nicole watched him go, wondering if Wyatt would continue arguing with her once Justin was out of earshot. This was the first moment they'd had alone in nearly a week, since that horrible afternoon when he'd looked in her eyes and she'd seen his utter lack of faith in her.

Wyatt, however, didn't even glance in her direction. He stood, walked across the deck and busied himself tying down some ropes for the night. Nicole watched the way the moonlight shone on his hair, and on his white shirt, seeing the tense set of his body and the frown on his lips.

He wasn’t going to make this easy. But nothing worth having was ever easy.

"I wasn't going to say he couldn't stay," Nicole said when he finally paused in his work.

Wyatt stared at her steadily, easily catching her eyes in the bright moonlight. "I wasn't asking for your permission."

She heard the challenge, but let it go. Nicole wrapped a beach towel around her shoulders, suddenly chilled by the night breeze. "Wyatt, we need to talk about this situation."

"Any more talking can be done through our attorneys." He ignored her gasp. "Don't panic, Nicole. Unlike you, I'm not so selfish that I'd try to take Justin away from one of his parents. I won't fight you for custody as long as you take Justin and move out of your mother’s house. And I want a permanent visitation schedule. I am not talking about just the summers. I want to see him during the school year, for holidays, whenever possible."

"Wyatt, I never would have kept him from you..."

"Save it, all right?" He folded a tarp with precision and as he studiously ignored her. "I just don't want to hear it."

"But I need to explain..."

"Just go to bed, Nicole. We have nothing further to talk about."

Wyatt paused, wondering if she'd argue. He didn’t want to—he was still too tense, too angry about the reminder that he needed
permission
to spend time with his own child. Unfortunately, there was nowhere he could go to walk out of their confrontation if she chose to continue it. He read the emotions as they quickly crossed her face, saw anger, then desperation. Finally, resigned, she slipped to the steps to go to the cabin below deck.

He almost went after her. It was the slight hint of desperation, the suggestion of regret he felt sure he'd seen. In that instant, he'd recognized the woman he loved. He'd allowed himself to hope, for a faint moment, that she loved him too.

But she didn't. He knew she didn't. He'd acknowledged that fact one week ago when she'd revealed more with her silence than she ever could have with words.

Wyatt pulled his hammock out of a storage trunk, strung it up on deck and climbed into it. He lay awake for a very long time, staring up at the stars, wondering how his life had ever reached this point.

Nicole couldn't sleep. The bunks were comfortable, if a little narrow, and the boat remained still on the quiet water. Justin's deep, steady breaths soothed and comforted her from across the small cabin. But Nicole had lain awake for two hours, thinking about Wyatt, just above them, and alone.

"He's been alone for too long," she murmured in the darkness. She and Justin had been together for years, while Wyatt had been by himself. True, he was building a strong relationship with his son. But it didn't erase the fact that, at heart, Wyatt had always been alone.

She wanted him. She needed him. And, she decided, she was not going to let him go without making at least one more effort to make him admit he needed her, too.

Quietly, she slipped from the bed. Moonlight shone through the cabin window, and Nicole quickly glanced down at her shorty pajamas. She considered moving into the tiny bathroom to pull on some clothes, but decided against it. She might wake Justin, she told herself. In truth, she knew that if she delayed, if she took the time to get dressed, she might lose her courage and not walk up those stairs.

Nicole tiptoed out of the room, shutting the cabin door behind her. She moved up the stairs to the deck, and looked toward the hammock. Wyatt lay sprawled in it, still wearing his clothes, uncovered by anything other than the night air. Moving next to him, she paused to stare at his peaceful face.

"Wyatt, are you awake?" He didn't react at all. His breaths remained even and steady. Nicole reached out and brushed the back of her hand along his jawline, liking the scratchy feel of his skin. Still he didn't move. "You should be awake," she muttered. "How can you sleep when I'm so miserable?"

He shifted a little. Nicole sucked in a breath, wondering if he was about to catch her hovering over him, but he never opened his eyes. A cool breeze blew against her bare legs, and Nicole shivered. Wyatt hadn't bothered with a blanket when he went to bed. Glancing around, she spotted a folded beach towel. She shook it out and gently placed it over his body.

"I should leave you uncovered. Maybe if it gets cold enough your jaw will freeze and you'll shut up and listen for a change."

Shaking her head, she prepared to turn and leave the deck. Their conversation would have to wait. Wyatt couldn't even be bothered to be awake when she so wanted to talk to him.

Before she walked away, though, she glanced at his face one more time. What she saw made her stop moving, practically stop thinking. Because his eyes were wide open, not glazed with sleep. His expression was not at all unsure or confused. He was fully alert and apparently very curious.

"Wyatt?"

He didn't reply. He just stared at her, as if he couldn't speak...as if his jaw was frozen shut.

He was giving her a chance to talk and she leapt at it.

"I love you."

He didn't move a muscle.

"I know you don't believe that right now, and I've given you reason to think it's not true. But I am crazy in love with you and I have been for as long as I can remember."

Nicole couldn't look at him, couldn't stand to watch his face and see if her words were getting through to him. Clenching her hands tightly in front of her, she walked around the hammock and moved to the railing to stare out at the water.

"You were right to be angry with me. I should have told you about Justin the minute I realized you didn't know he existed. All I can say is that I'm sorry. I was in shock. Everything just spun out of control so quickly, and I couldn't find the words, much less say them. I was afraid of how you’d react. Afraid you wouldn’t believe me when I told you I didn’t know you came for me.”

The breeze picked up and the water took on more of a chop. The sailboat rocked lightly. Reaching toward the deck rail, Nicole clutched it, keeping her back toward Wyatt. "And you're right. I was also afraid I might lose Justin. It didn't take long to realize that letting you in Justin's life didn't mean I'd lose him, but by that time, you'd seen him and I'd missed my chance to tell you myself."

Drawing moist, salt-tinged air into her mouth, Nicole pulled her arms across her body. She ran her hands up and down her arms to ward off the chill of the night—and the memories of all the cold nights she’d wanted to be sleeping in this man’s arms.

She still wanted that.

"I want a life with you. I want the life we should have had together." She turned slowly, steeling herself to face derision or disbelief in his eyes. "I'll stay here. I don't ever have to return to Maryland, as long as you want me to stay. But whether that happens or not, I want you to know that I truly love you. I always have, and I always will."

Wyatt didn't reply. He just continued to stare at her from the hammock, as if measuring her words, weighing them for truth. Nicole had never felt so naked, so exposed in her entire life. She'd never once given anyone else so much power over her, so much ability to hurt her after she'd laid her heart completely bare. He neither smiled, nor frowned.

I'm too late
, she thought. He didn't love her anymore.

Finally, though, his mouth softened. A slow, sweet smile spread across his lips. She struggled in the moonlight to see the look in his eyes, and saw the familiar tenderness she'd been waiting for. Her heart leaped into her throat and she took one faltering step closer to him.

"I waited a long time to hear you say that, Nicole,” Wyatt admitted, wondering if she could hear the emotion that threatened to choke him. “I needed to hear you say that. I needed you to take a chance, to risk everything and just be honest with me about how you feel, no matter the consequences.”