Coming Home (20 page)

A frown creased his brow. "I've lost ten years of his life. I will not lose any more."

Nicole heard the threat in his voice, and had to concede that he had every right to make demands. She just hoped his anger didn't make him unreasonable when it came time for them decide how to handle the situation. They would have to work it out together, to put aside the animosity for Justin's sake. Because if they couldn't, and he tried to take Justin away, she would fight him in court if it took every penny she had.

"Later, Wyatt. We’ll talk later. Right now, we just need to find our son and make sure he's all right," she said.

Giving her a harsh nod, he turned and walked away.

Thirty minutes later, sweaty, dirty, scratched to bits and tired, Nicole made her way back upstream. She'd walked all the way down to the state road, with no sign of Justin. She felt sure he would never have hitched a ride from a stranger, and concluded that he must have gone the other way. Probably, she told herself, Wyatt had already found him.

She walked toward her father's house, planning to stop and see if Justin had been found and was already home. Thick, heavy drops of rain plopped down through the canopy of trees and struck the top of her head. "Please let him be inside," she murmured.

Emerging from the woods behind the old barn, she noticed that the upper loft door, usually shut tight, was open. Curious, Nicole walked to the barn and began climbing up the wooden ladder, which was attached flush to the side of the building. She heard her son's voice as she pulled herself to the upper entrance. "So, do I have any brothers or sisters or anything?"

Nicole nearly sighed in relief. She reached the top of the ladder, put her hands on the wooden floor of the loft and pulled her head and shoulders up to peer into the dark barn.

"No, Justin. I never married."

"So what? You weren't married to my mom, and it turns out I'm your kid."

She heard Wyatt chuckle at Justin's frank observation.

"Let me re-phrase. No, I have no other children."

Neither one of them had noticed her yet. Nicole struggled to lift herself onto the floor of the loft, wondering how she'd ever managed to do it so easily when she was a little girl. Justin saw her and rose from the pile of musty hay in the corner to lend her a hand.

"I'm glad you guys found a place to get in out of the rain," Nicole said as she stood and brushed some dirt and dust off the front of her shirt. She walked to the far end of the loft, toward Wyatt, and offered him a shaky smile. Nicole was dying to know what he and Justin had been talking about, but obviously couldn't ask. Noting the hard stare Wyatt leveled at her, Nicole doubted he would have told her anyway.

"I was going to check the house to see if you'd made it back when I noticed a pair of eyes watching me from up here," Wyatt said. "Justin had sense enough to come in at the threat of rain, while the two of us were stomping through the woods."

Nicole sat down on the wood floor of the loft, pulling her legs up and letting her arms rest on her raised knees. She leaned back against the wall and waited for her son to return to his seat. She forced herself to remain nonchalant, sensing that was how Justin wanted it. Wyatt lay stretched out on his side, leaning against one elbow on the floor and chewing lazily on a piece of straw.

"So, are you okay?" Nicole finally asked. The boy shrugged and wouldn't meet her eyes. "I realize you've had a shock...."

"Now there's an understatement," Wyatt muttered.

"We've all had a shock," Nicole said. “I assume you overheard some things…but do you understand?”

Her son nodded, which didn’t surprise her. Justin had always been smart—the kind of kid who liked figuring things out.

"He explained the parts I didn't hear," Justin said, nodding his head toward Wyatt. "Like why he never even knew I existed."

Hearing the hurt in his voice, Nicole bit her lip.

“I’m really mad at Grandmother.”

“You and me both,” she muttered, her jaw clenching and her stomach churning.

“Make that three of us,” Wyatt said.

"One thing I don't get, Mom, is you," Justin said.

"Me? What do you mean?"

Justin didn't reply right away. She didn't prod him, sensing whatever it was he wanted to ask her meant a great deal to him. "I mean," he finally continued, "I've been watching you work hard for what you wanted since I was really little. I remember how I used to sneak out of my room late at night and sit at the top of the stairs waiting for you to get home from class when you were going to college. The way you looked so tired in the morning when you'd come get me up, but you were always the one who made my breakfast. The fights you got into with grandmother about letting me work with you in the stables. Or a couple of months ago when you got into it with Ryan Nelson's dad when you found out me and Ryan had snuck into his movie collection and watched a dirty one."

Not one of her happier memories.

Nicole heard Wyatt chuckle, but she didn't even glance toward him. She was intent on hearing what it was her son was trying to say to her.

"So, how come you gave up on him? It's hard for me to understand how you could fight for school, and your job, and me, and never fight for the guy you loved enough to have a baby with."

Nicole didn't quite know what to say. Her son was intelligent for his age, she knew that, but she hadn't realized quite how intuitive he was. He'd immediately raised the very question she'd asked herself for years. "Why didn't I confront Wyatt face to face...that's what you want to know."

Her son nodded. "Yeah. You're tough, Mom. So why didn't you get on the plane, fly to Florida, go right up to his door and ask him to his face why he was being so mean to you?"

"That certainly would have solved everything," Wyatt murmured.

Thinking before she answered, Nicole finally admitted, "I guess the truth is, I was just afraid. I didn't have enough faith in myself, in the feelings Wyatt and I had for each other. I was young, and I second guessed myself into believing that he'd never cared for me, that it was all one-sided."

Justin turned to peer toward Wyatt. "Was it?"

He hesitated for a long moment, and Nicole realized she was holding her breath, waiting for his answer.

"No," Wyatt finally admitted. "It wasn't."

Her heart fluttered, but she forced herself to ignore everything except Justin’s feelings.

Their son nodded, satisfied. Nicole wondered what was going on in his mind, how he felt learning he had a father who hadn't even known he existed until this morning. She tried to put herself in his shoes, but was unable to do it. She’d been raised by divorced parents and had had a hard enough time…she couldn’t imagine finding out her entire childhood had been a lie.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

Justin stared at her through a lock of thick, dark hair which had fallen across his brow. She ached to reach out and brush it away, but sensed he wouldn't appreciate the gesture. Justin was wrapped in his solitude, maintaining a physical distance from both of them as he absorbed the sudden changes to his ordered world.

When he did reply, he certainly didn't mince words. "It totally sucks, Mom."

What else was there to say? Nicole couldn't have found better words to describe the situation in which they all found themselves.

The threatening skies let loose with a fast, heavy downpour. Nicole glanced outside and watched lightning rip through the dark clouds. Thick drops of water skittered in through the open loft door and slid across the plank floor. "I guess we should have made a dash for the house while we had a chance," she said. "I'm sure Maria and Josh are worried."

Justin drew his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs with his gangly arms. Nicole saw him lower his head, and she wished she hadn't voiced her thoughts aloud. Obviously Justin was feeling guilty for running off and scaring them.

"Maria saw me climb up here," Wyatt said. "She was walking across the yard toward the woods and I waved to let her know everything was okay."

No one spoke for a few long moments. Nicole heard the rain slowing. The quick afternoon shower was already ending. Soon the sun would emerge again, drying the landscape and offering them a glorious sunset. She wondered if the clouds over her heart would ever clear away, if she'd ever feel sunny and happy again.

Not if she lost Justin. Not, she conceded, if she lost his father.

"So," Justin said as he stretched out to lie on his back and stare up at the dusty ceiling. "I guess you better tell me about yourself." He turned his head and looked at Wyatt. "I mean, if you're my dad, and I'm going to be hanging out with you from now on, I oughta at least know your last name."

A brief silence ensued. Nicole nearly sighed with relief. Justin, at least, was going to be okay. He would get through this. When Wyatt answered, his voice was thick and husky with emotion. "It's Clayton, son. My name is Wyatt Andrew Clayton. And I'm
very
happy to meet you."

They left the barn as soon as the rain stopped. Nicole noticed how Justin tried to match Wyatt's long stride, wanting to seem a man like his father. She bit her lip hard to keep tears from coming to her eyes.

When they entered the house, they found Maria sitting alone in the kitchen. She stood immediately and smiled in relief when she saw the three of them together. "Your father is lying down. I'll go tell him right now that you are all safely back."

"Thank you, Maria," Nicole murmured.

Justin helped himself to a soda from the fridge, and Nicole put the kettle on the burner to prepare some tea. She held up an empty cup toward Wyatt, silently asking if he wanted some, but he answered with a quick negative shake of his head.

"So, what do we do now?" Justin asked as he sat down at the kitchen table. "This is all pretty new to me."

"It's new to us, too, son," Wyatt said. "I think we're going to have to think very carefully about what we want to do. But please know that we all want you to be happy."

He was saying exactly the right things, as if he’d been born to play the role of father. Guilt sliced through her all over again, not just for the fact that he’d been deprived of it, but for her doubt in him earlier today, her fear that he’d react badly and not look after Justin’s welfare first and foremost. She always seemed to underestimate this man.

Justin nodded and returned his attention to his drink. Wyatt continued, "I would very much like to spend some time getting to know you. Whenever you feel ready, I’d like to take you to my ranch."

"You have a ranch? Do they have cows in Florida?"

Wyatt chuckled. "Yes, there are lots of cows in Florida. You see them up to their bellies in swampy water half the time, but I don’t raise cattle. The Four C breeds and trains race horses. You might not have realized it, but the Ocala area is one of the major spots for horse breeding in America."

Justin nodded. "Yeah, Grandpa told me that one." The boy slowly brought his glass to his mouth and sipped it before continuing. "I guess I'd like to come out and see the ranch."

Wyatt nodded slowly, feeling a tremendous sense of relief. Justin seemed to be willing to give him a chance, to forgive the fact that his father hadn't even known of his existence. Wyatt wondered if he'd ever forgive himself. Sure he'd been lied to, but still, somehow, he should have known. In spite of the lies, he felt there should have been some mental connection.

Maybe there had been, he acknowledged. Maybe the fact that he'd never quite gotten over Nicole Ross, never moved on with someone else, at least not seriously, had been the clue. Perhaps he'd just been too hard-headed to acknowledge it.

Someone knocked on the front door. Whoever it was didn't wait to be invited in. "Hello? Is anyone here? I've checked in at the motel and thought I'd come see if Nicole is back."

Wyatt watched the color drain from Nicole's face, and saw Justin's hands clench around his glass as they recognized the smooth, cultured tone. Staring hard at the doorway, he was not a bit surprised when Nicole's mother entered. The slim, elegantly dressed woman assessed the situation in a few short seconds. She stared at Nicole's stricken face, at Justin's accusing one. And then, her eyes met his.

There was no way for him to hide his fury. Wyatt saw her cringe a tiny bit before she straightened her shoulders. Nicole's mother looked like she was preparing for battle.

Good. She should. Because now they all knew the truth, and there was absolute hell to pay.

Nicole watched her mother enter the room, her stomach churning and her hands starting to clench and unclench in her lap. It was nearly impossible for her to believe that the woman who'd claimed to love her all her life, who'd held her while she cried out her broken heart over Wyatt, and had been there with her in the delivery room when Justin was born...could have been the one who kept them apart all through the years.

Nicole squeezed Justin's hand and gave him a shaky smile. "Sweetheart, why don't you go upstairs and visit Grandpa for a while. I'm sure he'd like to spend some time with you."

Justin looked like he wanted to argue. The independent part of him seemed to want to challenge his grandmother for the wrong she'd done him. But the little boy part was confused, frightened, and wanted to escape. Nicole nodded encouragement, and Justin stood and left the room. He didn't spare his grandmother so much as a glance.