Coming Home (28 page)

“Evelyn,” he sighed and came to sit on the bed. “First of all, when I make love to you it’s always you I see. Second, I never have, nor ever will I, want a man. I’m simply not that way. Since I met you it’s only been you. I will never make love to you and think of anyone else, man or woman. And third, the reason I enjoy fucking you that way is because I enjoy the psychological release it gives us. You seemed tense. I wanted to get you out of your head.”

“But, Lucian . . . this was different.” She shook her head trying to pin down what was actually bothering her. “The intimacy wasn’t there.”

His face softened. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t mean to come off cold. I was intent on getting you to relax. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel anxious.”

His dominance didn’t usually bother her like it had tonight. Perhaps he was stressed, but no matter what he was going through, if he wanted the responsibility of her submission, something she wasn’t altogether sure she was prepared to surrender, he needed to communicate with her.

She liked losing herself to him in moments of passion. She didn’t know if she’d ever allow herself to completely let go, however. He swore she was submissive, but she was too mesmerized with the idea of her independence. This trial period she was humoring him with wouldn’t make it another day if he didn’t explain himself along the way, especially when she was feeling vulnerable.

“You can’t expect me to surrender if you don’t explain your intentions.”

His eyes flashed to hers. “I suppose I could be a bit more clear. You usually love when I touch you like that.”

“There are always exceptions, Lucian. Some days I like soft, some days I like hard, but
every day
I like to feel I’m entitled to know what’s going on between us.”

“Understood,” he said, running his hand over her foot. “Do you understand
why
anal sex has a different effect on you, Evelyn?”

She frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He took her hand. “Deny it all you want, but you
are
submissive at heart. You get bogged down with the outside worries of your world and need to let go, but don’t know how. When I take you—
truly take you—
you surrender those burdens. Anal sex just happens to be a very cut-and-dried way for a man to dominate a woman. If you pay attention to the times you crave it, it’s usually when you’re highly stressed.”

He was right. “Oh.” She stared as his fingers wrapped around her ankle. They tightened until his touch was all she could feel. “Perhaps I’m just feeling a bit . . . delicate . . . emotionally. I don’t like feeling the weight of other issues between us.”

His head tilted as he studied her for a long minute. His fingers traced down her neck. “I don’t like that feeling either. I think we were both feeling the presence of other issues tonight and we should have talked it through before we went to bed. I’m sorry I didn’t handle the situation more delicately. I’ll try to be more aware. I know you’re giving a lot of yourself, and I need to look deeper than I do sometimes.”

Her heart raced. There was something so sexy about an understanding Lucian. If he could truly be that intuitive it made the temptation of surrender so much greater. This trial period was good. They were both learning from the experience.

He pulled her close and continued to stroke her bare skin. “You see, it doesn’t have to be that way, but I know you take pleasure from it as do I. It’s the adrenaline rush we get from the act, me exerting my strength over you, and you being placed in a vulnerable position where your only choice is surrender, but the point is, you choose it. That choice is never taken from you, Evelyn.”

Perhaps she just needed to hear that.

Easing up, he gripped her other ankle and tugged her down the bed so she was lying flat on her back as he towered over her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Push me away,” he whispered.

She moved to press her palm against his chest, but he caught it before she made contact. Her arm was forced into the pillows and he kissed her. She gasped and her heart pounded, the mood shifting that quickly.

“Do you feel how badly I want you, Evelyn?” He dragged the weight of his cock pressing through his pants against her sex.

She sucked in a breath and he said, “Push me away again.”

She used her other hand. This time, when she made contact with his shoulder, his hand clamped down on her sex, cupping her tightly. She gasped and her fingers curled around his bicep.

He chuckled, his eyes gone smoky. “You see? You’re supposed to be telling me no, but your body’s crying yes. Go ahead. Exert yourself. Deny me. I’ll make you beg for my cock and I’ll take all the blame so you don’t have to think. Push me away.”

He was right. Her blood tingled and she felt herself shrinking away to some hidden place inside her filled with lightness that only he could lead her to. He released her wrist and balanced his weight on his thickly muscled arms, causing the mattress to dip around her. She shoved at his chest, and he ground his erection into her sex almost punishingly.

When he leaned in to kiss her, she turned away. He bit at her neck and growled, sucking and pulling at her tender flesh. She moaned despite her physical protests. It was indeed a psychological game he was playing. King of the mountain. He tried for her mouth again and she slithered out of his reach.

Sitting back, he grabbed her calves so she couldn’t turn to her belly, and wrenched her legs wide. “Your pussy’s wet. I can see it glistening from here. Do you want to be fucked, Evelyn?”

“No,” she rasped, her breath coming fast as she told the lie, hiding her smile.

Leaning forward, he pinched her nipple hard and she cried out. “Little liar,” he laughed.

She pressed her foot into his stomach, not hard, but enough to force space between them. His strong fingers caught her ankle again and tugged roughly. She gasped and watched him as he slowly sucked a long finger into his mouth and proceeded to slide it into her pussy.

Her body contracted around the digit, but he made no further move to pleasure her. “You’re happy simply feeling me in you, knowing I hold the control to make you come. Admit it.”

“No.”

He tipped his head back and groaned. “Oh, that word. You know what it does to me.” He twisted his wrist and pressed his finger into her G-spot, causing her to arch off the bed. His other palm flattened over her stomach and anchored her back down. He tickled her deep in her sex, and she whimpered with denied need.

“Ask me. Ask me to fuck you.”

“No.” Her lips twitched. She wanted to smile, but wasn’t sure why. They were playing. This was
playing
.

He removed his fingers in one quick withdrawal that made her gasp. Her wrists were caught and pinned as heat engulfed her breast and there was a tug of teeth. Her knees locked on his hips. If he pressed his cock against her sex, she’d break.

Lips released her tight nipple, damp from his sucking and took the other. It was a painful yet pleasurable pull that connected directly to her womb. Her thighs softened and her hips unlocked, allowing him to fall into the cradle of her hips. His restraining hold on her arms was transferred to her hands, but her fingers intertwined with his in mutual consent.

His body blanketed her, riding over her in powerful waves. Every touch of flesh, every drag of his tongue brought her plea closer to her lips. He was making her crazy. She arched into him and he continued to tease and torment her, stimulating her further, but never really fulfilling her with what she wanted most.

Words whispered over her damp skin. “Tell me . . . ask for it . . . beg me . . .”

When he tried to kiss her, again she turned away. This time he caught her hair and took what he wanted. She bit at his mouth, giving him the fiercest kiss she’d ever given, and he took everything she had to offer. His fist tightened in her hair. “Ask me nicely.”

“No,” she panted, forcing her smirk back.

He made a sound of disapproval. His hand pulled out of hers and reached between their bodies. He slapped her clit and she made a sound between a hiccup and a gasp. Heavy, dark eyes stared into hers. “You’re only denying yourself, Evelyn. All the power, all the pleasure, rests in your surrender.”

He slapped her there again and she moaned. Strange, once the shock of the action faded, familiar pleasure bloomed. A few more slaps and she would—
slap—
yes, she could definitely come this way.

She pressed her wet sex into his palm, a silent plea. The satisfied smile pulling at his lips told that he knew she was weakening.

“You won’t ask because you love it when I make the choice. Admit it.”

She wasn’t admitting to anything!

“Stubborn,” he whispered as he leaned back on his heels, taking his touch with him. His hands tugged at the waist of his silk pants, and his cock sprang out. “You’re going to suck my cock now. And only when I’m about to come will I fuck you.”

Had she even moved? Her body reacted so quickly. She was on her hands and knees, taking him deep into her mouth.

His fingers caught in her hair and he thrust to the back of her throat, forcing her to take quite a bit of him. She was lost in a white haze of passion, determined to bring him more pleasure than any other woman—or man—ever could.

“You see, Evelyn,” she vaguely heard him whisper over her head as she worked his flesh. “I set the conditions, and you fight me almost every time because you’re so used to fighting for every scrap of pleasure you have in this world. You have more self-discipline than any woman I know, and when I take you to that place of surrender and you give over, you do so beautifully. Never mistake yielding for weakness. Your resilience, your choice in the matter, is what makes your surrender so priceless. I may strip away your boundaries, but true courage comes when you bare all in the face of our love.”

She stilled and released him. Slowly, she sat up, his words playing again and again in her mind. All else faded away until the
need
to surrender was all that remained. She had the choice. She finally understood.

She met his gaze and whispered, “Please, Lucian, take me.”

He toppled her to the bed and they kissed madly, laughing and moaning as he filled her. His physical potency blanketed her as the emotional sense of strength he stimulated inside of her exploded. He erased every questioning doubt she’d entertained over the past two hours as his desire for her and her alone stifled every insecurity and satisfied every need she had.

His mouth dragged over her flesh as he praised her for being exactly who she was and vowed to always be what she needed. “I love you, Evelyn. Only you. Forever.”

“I love you too.”

It was in that moment, as he took her without apology, that she embraced a certain kind of oneness he often provoked in her and she realized, while not everyone worked under this sort of sexual dynamic,
they did
.

He made sense of her and she did the same for him. They were two parts of the same twisted whole. She knew in that moment he was her future, and she recalled the vision she’d had of a young boy running to her, resembling both her and Lucian. She was going to marry him someday, and perhaps he loved her just enough to wait until she was ready to face those fears of letting go as well.

Chapter 17

Falling In

By mid-June the city was sweltering. If leaving the hotel could be avoided, it was. Yet, Evelyn made a point to return to her own apartment at least once a week. She didn’t know why she did this, perhaps it was a needed reminder to both her and Lucian that she still stood apart from
them
and held a very fundamental part of
her.

He grumbled when she made excuses to go home, and she usually returned by way of Dugan once Lucian’s patience ran out. But he never forbade her this private space and time, and she loved him all the more for granting her that significant escape. However, as time went on, she realized her apartment was not as magnificent as she’d once thought. It was shelter, and with that shelter came pride, but after a few hours wandering around the small vacant space, she’d soon begin to miss him.

During those quiet moments she did find time to contemplate her career. She wasn’t lying when she told Lucian she didn’t know what she wanted to do. Time would tell. As Jason taught her language arts he also broached other subjects. Her passions were still budding and eventually she’d choose a specific future to chase. Until then, she decided Lucian was right. She was better off focusing on her studies rather than working part time trying to make ends meet when he’d already met all her needs.

At the condo, even when he wasn’t there, he was. His scent was on the furniture. His personal items scattered throughout wore his mark. She realized she was beginning to wear the same mark. Lucian was simply so overwhelming he left fingerprints everywhere he touched. His fingerprints, she suspected, were taking shape on her soul.

Evelyn found it interesting that this was the first summer she’d actually held on to all of her belongings. Usually she was forced to stash a great deal of her things because lugging them around in the heat became unbearable, but this year all of her stuff was safely put away in closets and drawers.

When her bank statements showed up at the condo, she was grateful she’d never gone through the trouble of changing her information.

“You have mail,” Lucian said as she walked into the living room one hot afternoon.

“I do?”

“Yep.” He held out the envelope.

Her hands slowly took the paper and stared dumbly at it. She’d never had mail before. Her finger slid under the lip of the envelope and she unfolded the paper. There were the details of her account with a bunch of other stuff written on the statement. She smiled.

“I should really give this back to you if I’m not using it for my education.”

Lucian was busy doing something on his laptop. His glasses perched at the end of his nose, reflections from the computer screen showing on the lenses. He didn’t look at her. “Knock it off.”

She stuck out her tongue. “You’re grumpy today.”

“I’m losing a deal.”

She stilled. “The green deal? The big one?” She knew the deal was being threatened, but she never suspected he might actually lose it. It was Lucian. He didn’t lose.

“It’s always a big deal when you put over a year into something that never comes to fruition.”

“I’m sorry. Is there anything you can do to fix it?”

“I’ve tried. I don’t know who I’m up against, and it’s pissing me off to no end. Somewhere in the past few months another company fell into the mix and they’ve taken arbitrage to a certain form of espionage. I’ll get over the loss, but I want to find out who’s screwing with my interests.”

“What’s the name of the company again?”

“We’re procuring the rights to a company called Labex. They build windmills all over the country and deal in cleaner energy.”

He was not in any sort of joking mood, and she wasn’t sure anything she could say would be welcome or helpful. Giving him his privacy, she grabbed a muffin off a tray and disappeared into the other room.

She turned on the television and nibbled her breakfast. There was something very unsatisfying about not being able to solve problems for Lucian. As she ate her muffin she watched
Gilligan’s Island
and tried to think of ways to put him in a better mood. Her mind ran over various images and she stilled when she thought about what he’d said, actually considered his words.

Cleaner energy. She wasn’t exactly sure what that was, but she knew what windmills were. There weren’t any in Folsom and being that she’d never left Folsom except to visit the estate, she wasn’t sure how she knew what they were.

She frowned as her mind kept returning to the same images of a man in a hard hat standing next to an enormous white tower surrounded by nothing but blue sky. There was another image floating around in her head of an enormous turbine in a warehouse.

Where had she seen that? On television? In a book? She sat up straight and her eyes suddenly went wide. “Parker.”

Tossing her muffin in the trash, she went to the bathroom and made quick work of getting ready. As she stared in the mirror, fixing her hair, she remembered images of the multiple books stacked throughout Parker’s apartment. The majority were worn-out paperbacks and novels, but there were some that caught her attention because they were nothing like what he usually read.

Several had pictures promoting eco-friendly trends, showing vibrant pictures of a greener earth. There were ones about solar energy and definitely some about windmills. She’d only flipped through them once, barely able to comprehend what she had seen, but that was where she’d seen the pictures.

Anger had her breathing heavily as she threw on shorts and a T-shirt. She needed to get past Lucian. Hopefully he was still distracted enough that she could make up some lame excuse and get away for an hour. So help her, if it was Parker—

“Are you going somewhere?”

She jumped and turned to find Lucian standing in the closet door. “I, uh, left a book at the apartment. I figured since you were working I’d go get it and do some studying.” Guilt burned through her as the lie passed her lips.

“Oh, okay. Isadora called. She wanted to know if we felt like coming by for dinner. She’s leaving for Italy soon and I’d like us to spend some time with her.”

“Sure.”

He stretched and pulled his glasses off his face. “I’m going to shower and get back to work. I’m getting a headache. You going to study?”

“Yes.” Well, research was more like it, but same difference.

He kissed her and disappeared into the bathroom. As soon as she heard the water turn on, she grabbed her sneakers and left. On her way past Lucian’s desk she stilled. His cell sat on top of his closed laptop. She glanced back at the door and, on impulse, grabbed the phone and set it to silent. She was on the elevator rushing to the ground three seconds later, her heart racing.

As the doors to the lobby parted, she finished tying her shoes. There were ways to be sneaky that reeked of guilt and knowingly doing something wrong, and then there were ways that were so in-your-face people missed the fact they were being outmaneuvered. There was little chance of her getting away with this blame free, but she decided to own it and go down fighting.

“Good morning, Mademoiselle
Keats.”

“Good morning, Claude. Is Dugan around?”

The doorman pointed to the long line of cabs and cars. She spotted the limo at the end of the block. Taking quick, determined steps, she walked in that direction. Dugan must have spotted her. He stepped from the limo and gave her a curious look, then checked his phone.

“Ms. Keats?”

“Hey, Big D. I need a ride.”

He met her at the door and opened it. “Mr. Patras didn’t send me a text.”

“He’s in the shower.” The limo driver’s eyes narrowed beneath his bushy brows. “Look, I’m with you. I’m being honest. Text him if it makes you feel better, but I need to leave now and I’m either walking or getting a ride from you.”

He shut the door and withdrew his cell again. Moments later he was behind the wheel. “Where to?” he asked, easing the car from the curb and into traffic.

“Parker Hughes’s apartment building.” His head jerked and she met his challenging stare in the rearview. “Should I walk?”

Rather than answer her, he brought his phone to his ear and dialed. Lucian was likely just getting out of the shower, but he wouldn’t hear his phone ring. Deceit sat like heavy oil in the pit of her stomach, but it was better she deal with Parker than leave it to Lucian.

The entire ride there, Dugan’s phone never left his ear except to press Send again. He never made a peep, which meant he never got through to Lucian. He did, however, manage to take the longest possible route from A to B.

The limo pulled to the curb of Parker’s building and she got out. Dugan placed himself between her and the entrance. “I’m not sure what’s going on, Ms. Keats, but I know this isn’t okay with Mr. Patras.”

She shifted her weight and tried to reason with him. “Look, Dugan, I need to go in there. I told you to call Lucian if you want to and I had no doubt you would. I’m not hiding anything. This is only a detour. Just . . . please let me go.”

She brushed past him and he caught her arm. “Evelyn.” It was the first time he’d ever called her by just her name. She looked at him and his eyes were softened by age and worry. “You didn’t see him before. Don’t do that to him again. He loves you.”

She placed her hand on his. “I know. I love him too. That’s why I have to do this. Ten minutes, that’s all I need.”

Before he could stop her again, she rushed inside and took the elevator to Parker’s floor. The route to his door was familiar. Had she really lived here only a couple of months ago? It felt like a lifetime ago.

When she reached his door, she took a deep breath, made a fist and knocked hard. She heard movement inside and knew he was home. The door opened and he stared at her, confusion and a mix of concern tightening his brow.

“Scout? What are you doing here? Are you okay?”

He looked different from the last time she saw him. His face was no longer battered and he’d gained more weight. He was still fit, but gone was the gaunt look of years of starvation. He was no longer a lost cause. He was a man.

“I know what you’re doing.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“With the company Lucian was dealing with. I know it’s you messing with him.”

His expression immediately shuttered. “What? Is he sending you to do his dirty work? Shows how much he—”

“Oh, cut the crap, Parker. You’re messing with his livelihood.”

He laughed, but it came out more as a snarl. “His livelihood? Are you kidding? He’s Lucian fucking Patras. He’ll get over it.”

“Will
you
? What you’re doing is wrong and you know it.”

“What I’m doing is business.”

“Business like the way your dad conducted his.”

His lips tightened. “I’m nothing like him.”

“You may want to check your reflection again, Park. You aren’t playing the game on even ground. That’s how it all starts, isn’t it?”

It was the first time Parker ever directed his anger at her. He stepped close and hissed, “What do you want me to do? Give it back? That isn’t how the real world works, Scout. I worked my ass off for this deal and if I get it, it’s because I’m the better man.”

“Will that help you sleep at night?”

“You have no idea what gets me through the night.”

“Why? Because I’m not there? This is all some pathetic game of revenge because I didn’t want you! I
did
want you, Parker. I wanted you to be my friend. But all that crap about just wanting me the way I am was just that. Crap. Having me as a friend was never going to be enough for you, and you ruined everything.”

Her voice cracked, but all the words she’d never had the strength to say suddenly came pouring out. “Why was that not enough? You say you loved me? When did you once prove it? You were my friend and you betrayed me and took our friendship away without asking.”

His face wavered from indignation to apologetic. He stiffened. “I can’t undo what’s been done.” The elevator bell sounded and she knew she only had a few seconds left.

“I know. That would be too much like the gentleman you claim to be and too far from the self-serving prick you truly are. That’s why I’ll always pick him first. He’d surrender anything if I asked it of him.”

“You think that—”

“I
know
that,” she snapped with absolute assuredness.

“Evelyn.”

She didn’t need to turn to see that Lucian found her. She looked up at Parker and said, “Our friendship is over. You hurt me and friendship can forgive some things, but I will
never
forgive you for going after him.”

When she turned, Lucian’s expression was assessing, but blanked. He’d clearly caught the last of her words and was piecing everything together. She didn’t need to justify coming to his defense.

She walked up to Lucian and said, “I know you’re pissed. I’m sorry. I can’t help that I want to protect you as much as you want to protect me.”

He brushed his finger over her chin and there was something inherently sad in his eyes she didn’t like. “Lucian?”

“Sweetheart, Pearl ran away.”

Ice shifted through her veins, and she forgot all about her mission. “Wh-what?”

“Pearl. She left the rehab this morning and no one can find her.”

“That’s impossible. Where would she go? She has no money.”

“One of the nurses turned in a report that her purse was stolen. She didn’t have much in there, but she had enough for cab fare.”

Evelyn’s world began to spin. She grasped her temples. “No, no, no, no, no.”

“We’ll find her. I have people driving around now and I put a call in to the local cab companies with her description. I can’t turn in a missing person’s report for a few more hours still.”

Arms wrapped around her as her knees went weak. “We’ll never find her.”

“We will. I promise,” Lucian said fiercely.

“What’s going on?” Parker’s voice rang like a distant reminder of his presence. Why did she come here? She wanted to be anywhere but here.

“It’s not your concern,” Lucian snapped, pulling her toward the elevator.

They’d have to go to the tracks. They’d have to go everywhere. Her mother was missing, and all she could think of was the sweltering stench of bodily waste and garbage that was going to greet them in every place they’d be forced to search.