Coming Home (15 page)

"Whatever happened between the two of you? I can't
remember. It seemed like it was always Craig this and Craig that and then poof,
no more Craig." Candy asked looking at the picture again.

"Irreconcilable differences," Susan said not
looking at Craig.

"Sounds like a divorce." Jack said.

"Nothing so dramatic, dad. We just didn't see eye to
eye on some things."

"But now you are back together?" Candy asked
hopefully.

"No." Susan said quickly.

Craig looked at her wondering what she was thinking and
wondering if he had made a mistake in coming up here. As he had sat in his car
outside Nana's house he had been sure that God was telling him to come up here,
but now he wasn't so sure. Maybe it had been his own desire to see her that had
been telling him to act like an idiot and follow a woman who obviously did not
want to be around him.

"What were the irreconcilable differences?" Jack
asked.

"Religion was a big one." Craig said looking at
Susan.

"Really?" Candy asked. "Well, isn't that
something? Susan has been telling us..."

"That I needed to get away for a little while,"
Susan said quickly laying a restraining hand on her mom's arm.

Craig looked from Susan to her mom and back again.

Jack cleared his throat. "Well, Candy, I think it is
time for us to make ourselves a little scarce," he said taking his wife's
hand.

"What? Oh, of course. Dinner will be ready in an hour.
You are welcome to stay, Craig."

Craig smiled at them. "Thank you, I'm not sure how
long I will be here," he said then looked at Susan who looked like she was
trying to motion her parents to stay. She looked at him and smiled as she put
the hand she had been motioning with behind her neck as if to rub it.

Craig walked over and sat in a chair adjacent to where she
was sitting. "Are you okay, Susan?"

"Yep, I'm just fine."

"Okay, do you want me to leave?" He held his
breath; he so didn't want to leave until they had a chance to talk, but it
would be impossible to talk if she didn't want him here.

He watched as she closed her eyes then she opened them and
looked at him and the hurt in her eyes broke his heart, "I honestly don't
know what I want."

"The last thing I want to do is hurt you or cause you
pain."

Susan swallowed and looked down at her lap just being near
him and knowing he would never be more to her than a friend was painful to her.
But to be separated from him was painful also. She looked up at him, "I
want you to stay." Because I am a glutton for punishment.

He gave her a smile that warmed her like a blazing fire in
a winter storm.

"You said 'if,’" she said with a tilt of her
head.

He looked at her in confusion, "Excuse me?"

"When we were talking about your girlfriend, you said
'if' you had a girlfriend."

"Oh, right. Kate isn't my girlfriend."

"I got the distinct impression she thought she was
your girlfriend." She shook her head, "Not that it matters. I mean
I've got no claim on you."

Craig bit his lip to keep from telling her she definitely
did have a claim on him. "Kate is the mother of a junior high boy at
church. He goes to the Tuesday beach night, but I don't know if you would
remember him. Anyway," he said with a little shake of his head, "she
asked our junior high pastor if there was someone who would mentor her son
because he doesn't have a solid male role model in his life."

"So you offered to help," Susan said with a small
smile.

Craig nodded his head, "Yes, I offered, but only after
I found out she had asked if I would be willing to do it. I didn't know her
that well, we had never spoken. I had just seen her picking up her son from
different junior high functions."

"She chose you?"

He nodded his head, "I didn't realize until it was too
late that she was looking for more than just a mentor for her son."

"So how did the mentoring go?"

"It didn't. She sent her son to a friend's house for
the afternoon."

"Wow. What did you do?"

"I told her it wouldn't work between us."

"I'm sure you told her nicely."

"Anyway, the point is, I don't have a girlfriend. I
haven't had one for a while now. When I do, you will be the first to
know," he said, realizing that he would never love any woman if she wasn't
the one sitting right in front of him at this moment.

"You mean the third to know."

He looked at her not understanding.

"You and your girlfriend would be the first two to
know, I would have to be the third."

"Oh, right, well, that's what I meant," he said
feeling his heart settle to the bottom of his chest cavity at her words.

"Dinner is ready, you two." Jack said from the
doorway.

"Okay Dad, we'll be right there," Susan said
standing up.

Craig followed suit with a feeling that they hadn't settled
things. There was so much more he wanted to talk to her about. So much more.

"So did you two work out your 'irreconcilable
differences'?" Jack asked as they walked toward the dining room.

"Dad, the very definition of the word makes that
impossible," Susan said.

"We didn't really get a chance to talk about those
things," Craig said with a look at Susan.

"I know the meaning of the word Susan, but you of all
people should believe in the power of miracles."

Craig shot a look at Jack, wondering what he meant by that
statement.

"Miracles don't always happen when we want them to,
dad."

"Communication could be a miracle in itself,
Sweetie," Jack said with a smile as he took his seat at the head of the
table.

Craig looked from father to daughter wondering what they
were talking about. He felt like there was something important that he was
missing but for the life of him he had no idea what it was. He looked at Candy
and saw her shaking her head. Something was going on, but he had a feeling he
wasn't going to figure out what it was tonight, if ever. He looked at Jack and
asked him what he did for a living.

The following week Susan was eating lunch with Nana after
church. They hadn't talked since Susan had gone up to Newport Beach almost two
weeks ago.

"So did Craig come see you while you were visiting
your parents?" Nana asked causing Susan to choke a little. "Are you
alright, dear?"

Susan cleared her throat, "How did you know Craig came
up to see me?"

"I gave him your parent's address, how else do you think
he found you?"

"I didn't tell you where I was going."

"Well, it doesn't take rocket science to figure out
where you went. But I didn't tell him."

"If you didn't, who did?"

Nana shrugged, "You'll have to ask him, child."

Susan shook her head, she probably wouldn't be seeing Craig
any time soon, let alone talking to him.  They had parted on decent terms, but
so very stiff with each other. She shook her head at the memory. He had reached
to hug her good-bye and she had shaken his hand instead. She could kick
herself...again.

"So did you tell him about your decision to follow
Christ?"

"No, I told you I didn't want him to think I made the
decision just to get him to want to go out with me."

"You never told me any such thing."

"Well, now I have."

"Well, that is the silliest thing I have ever heard.
That man loves you and you are being foolish."

"I am not...He told you he loves me?"

"Of course not."

"Then why would you say that?"

"Child, all you have to do is look at his face when he
looks at you. There is no other word to describe that."

"Nana you are seeing things."

"No I'm not. Besides, why else would he rush up to
Newport Beach the way he did?"

"I have no idea."

"Of course you do, you are just being foolish."

Susan hung her head for a moment, "Well, foolish or
not, it's the way it has to be for now."

Susan rubbed her forehead and looked at Amy who was sitting
across the table from her. The restaurant was re-opened and the web-site had
been launched a week ago. They had just gone over the records and everything
was going great.

"Is there something you want to talk about,
Susan?" Amy asked after a moment of silence.

Susan took a deep breath and let it out in a huff.
"There is this man."

Amy smiled at her, "Go on."

"I really like him, but..."

"But?" Amy encouraged her.

"I don't know. We knew each other years ago and were
really close. We actually lived together for a while. I know that is wrong and
if I could change it, I would. But I know I can't and I have asked God to
forgive me for that part of my life." Susan explained as she twisted a
napkin into a tight rope between her fingers.

"So He has forgiven you for it."

Susan nodded her head, "I know. And I am so thankful
for that."

They were silent for a minute. "So this man is back in
your life again?"

"Yes, we originally broke up because he had become a
Christian and I wanted nothing to do with that." She looked at Amy,
"When we bumped into each other again, he apologized for the way he
treated me."

Amy smiled, "That was a good thing."

"Well, I know that now, but I didn't think so at the
time." She lifted her shoulders, "I wasn't a Christian at the time
and took it the wrong way. It's a long story."

"It usually is, but you don't have to share the
details with me." She tilted her head, "So does he know you are a
Christian now?"

Susan shook her head emphatically, "No, I can't tell
him."

"Why ever not?"

"Because I don't want him to think I became a
Christian to get him back."

"Do you love him?"

Susan heaved a sigh. "I love him more now than I did
back when we were together."

"Does he love you?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. I believe
he still likes me as a friend."

"Do you believe God brought him into your life for a
reason?"

"Oh yeah. Ever since he returned to my life God has
been bombarding me with His message from every side. I couldn't get away from
it. Believe me, I tried."

"Do you still have contact with this man?"

Susan shook her head, "He goes to our church, but I
haven't seen him in weeks."

"Don't you think he deserves to know that you have
given your life to Jesus?"

Susan lifted her shoulders, "I don't know. But I can't
risk the embarrassment it would cause if he thought I did this just to get him
back."

"If he thought that, he wouldn't be the man of God
that he should be."

"Be that as it may, I don't want him to know."

Amy nodded her head, "I will pray for you about this,
that God will lead and direct both of you into His will."

Craig wanted to kick himself. He couldn't stop thinking
about her, no matter how hard he tried. The Tuesday beach nights had ended and
Susan hadn't come to any of the last few. He wondered if she had gone at all in
the few weeks since they had ended. Then shook his head, of course she hadn't.
She had shaken his hand when they parted the last time. SHOOK HIS HAND for
Pete's Sake!

He looked for her at church, but wasn't even sure she was
still coming. He sighed and shuffled some papers around on his desk. The
building project was coming along; everything was on schedule so far. He
thanked the Lord for that because half the time his head was somewhere else.
His foreman had commented on it a couple of times and Craig had just given him
the excuse that he had a lot on his mind. A lot of one woman, to be specific.

He looked at his watch, he needed to get home and shower if
he wanted to make it to Amy and Ron's for the Junior High BBQ they were
hosting. He rolled his head to work some of the kinks out of his neck. He felt
like he would rather sit at home watching TV than spending the night with rowdy
junior high kids, then immediately felt bad. The kids weren't the problem. It
was him and his love for a woman who didn't want him or anything to do with his
faith. God, please help me to forget about her. He prayed for the millionth
time.

The BBQ was in full swing by the time Craig entered the
back yard of Amy and Ron's home. The kids were all playing capture the flag and
Ron was busy at the grill. Craig walked over to him. "Anything I can do to
help?" He asked.

"Nah, I think it's all under control. Grab a drink and
mingle," Ron said with a smile.

Craig smiled back and went over to where the coolers filled
with drinks were. He just pulled a can of soda out, not really caring what it
was and popped it open. He took a long swig and then looked at the can with a
frown. Grape soda. No wonder it tasted so awful. He shrugged, oh well. He
walked over to an empty table and sat down. He knew he should be mingling, but
he really just wanted to sit down right now.

"Hey stranger."

Craig looked up and saw Amy standing next to the table
where he was sitting.

"Can I join you for a minute?"

Craig nodded his head and motioned for her to sit,
"Sure."

Amy sat down with a sigh of relief.

"Thanks for having this tonight." He looked at
the kids who were running around laughing, "They are really enjoying
it."

She looked at the kids also, "Yes they are. I'm glad.
I wish Susan could have made it."

"Craig felt his ears perk up at the name,
"Susan?" He asked, trying to not sound too interested.

"My accountability partner."

"Oh." Craig said as he felt his shoulders sag a
little, a different Susan.

"Sometimes I wonder if I did her more of a dis-service
than a service by building a website for her. Her business has taken off so
much that she seems to be working all the time."

Craig's interest was piqued again, "What kind of
business does she have?"

"She owns Nana's Bakery and Restaurant in
Hillcrest."

Craig bowed his head to hide the flood of emotions that was
coursing through him. When he felt he had some control he looked back up at
her, "You said she is your accountability partner?"

Amy smiled, "Yes, she is a new Christian in terms of
linear time, but she is a more mature Christian than some people who have been
Christians for years. She soaks everything up like a sponge."

Craig nodded his head; he could see that about Susan. She
never did anything half-way. "How long did you say she has been a
Christian?"

Amy shrugged, "Maybe two months."

"That is really neat, Amy. Thanks for sharing that
with me."

Amy smiled, "Well, I'd best get back to doing my job.
It was nice to sit down for a moment, though."

Craig watched her walk away then looked down at his
sweating can of grape soda. He rubbed his fingers up and down the sides of the
can wondering what he should do with the information that Amy had just shared
with him. He couldn't just ignore it; it was too huge for that.

He didn't know what he should do. What he wanted to do was
track Susan down right that very moment and ask her why in the world she didn't
tell him she had become a Christian. The timing was right around the last time
they had seen each other or a little before that. Had she been a Christian the
last time they saw each other? If she had been, some of the things her parents
had said made more sense. But still remained the question, why didn't she tell
him? The only way he would get an answer to that question would be to ask her
himself.

He prayed that God would give him wisdom and the right
timing for that... He thanked God for Susan's salvation. He felt as though he
had been praying for nothing for the past two months because every day he would
pray that she would come to know Jesus as her personal Savior. But she already
had. He shook his head; it was almost too much for him to take in.

He stood up and took another drink of his soda, grimacing
as he swallowed it. He didn't know how people could like the awful stuff. He
threw the last third away, unable to make himself drink any more of it. He had
thought he would have an awful time tonight, but now his heart felt lighter
than it had in a long time and he was ready to have a little fun with these
wild kids. He walked over to them with a smile as they called to him, a plan
forming in his mind.

Susan had never been so tired in her life, at least not
that she could recall. She fell into bed at eleven every night and woke up at
six every morning. She came into the restaurant after most of the baking had
been done, but just as shipping was starting. She really needed to hire a
couple more employees.

When Amy had offered to set up a website, she had no idea
it would have this much impact on her business. She shook her head. People
would come into the restaurant saying they had found it using apps on their
iPhones and iPads and it was crazy. She was fairly positive that if it weren't
for her faith in Jesus that she would not be completely sane anymore. She
chuckled, sometimes she still felt like she was going off the deep end. But at
those times, she would call Amy and they would pray together. Amy's friendship
was such a blessing to her. She took a moment to thank God for blessing her
with such a good friend. She couldn't remember ever having a good friend like
Amy.

Susan covered a yawn and looked at the clock on her office
wall, ten AM on Saturday morning. She felt like it was midnight. She actually
wished it was midnight because then she would be sleeping. 

She decided that she needed another cup of coffee if she
was going to accomplish anything at all today. She picked up her mug that Amy
had given her, it had the scripture Luke 18:27 things that are impossible for
people are possible with God.

She could think of a few things that seemed impossible for
her, like how to get enough sleep, how to not have to work so many hours and
how to forget about Craig. It had been almost two months since she had seen him
and still he was in just about her every waking thought. She shook her head.
Please help me forget him, Lord; I'm sure he has found a girlfriend by now.

She went out to the bakery area and put cream and sugar in
her cup before filling it with steaming aromatic coffee. She looked at Jean who
was capably handling the restaurant for a moment, "I'm going to go for a
short walk, Jean. I'll be back in about fifteen minutes."

Jean just nodded her head in acknowledgement. Susan made
her way out the door and down the street breathing deeply of the fresh cool air
and thanking God for something with each breath and step she took. She could
never thank God enough for all he had done for her. She only wished she had
trusted Him so much sooner.