Come Together (19 page)

I looked into my mug. “We didn’t talk about it. I need to figure out how I feel before we do.”

“Jesus, girl. You have to talk to him. Don’t make the same mistakes with him that you did with Bill.”

“You don’t understand. I eat up everything David says because I want so badly to believe it. But what if Bill is right? What if David is only doing what he knows?”

“You’re being too hard on him. Do you think he buys every woman a house?”

“I know he loves me,” I conceded. “But for how long? Until someone else catches his eye?”

“Why not give it a chance?” Her tone was exasperated. “What harm can come from trying?”

I looked at her sadly. “I’m in so deep, Gretchen. What I’ve done to Bill will pale in comparison to what David does to me when he leaves.”

“First, you don’t know he’s leaving, so don’t talk like that. Second, that’s what love is. Risk. Faith. It’s fucking scary.” When I didn’t answer, she continued. “You already made the leap. What’s holding you back from David, sweetie?”

“It’s just that Bill made some reasonable points. Is it really smart to give up a life with him, only to have this thing with David end when he decides it’s finished?”

“You really can’t know that. That’s where the faith comes in.”

“He called me heartless. Bill did. Like, he literally thinks I am cold and heartless.”

“Do you think you’re cold?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Maybe.”

“Does David think so?”

I shook my head. “He thinks I’m warm. He gets me. But at the end of the day, I don’t think David really knows what he’s getting into. He’s a bachelor one day and the next he’s asking me to divorce my husband and move in with him? He doesn’t realize what a commitment that is.”

“He asked you to move in?”

“Yes.”

“If that’s what scares you, why don’t you try dating a while before moving in together? Slow things down?”

“Have you met him?” I asked
.
“It’s like all or nothing with him.”

She smiled. “I think it’s romantic.”

I blushed, thinking that I agreed. “Bill wants me to come back. He said he’ll try harder.”

She blinked at me and shook her head, seemingly in awe. “Let me ask you something,” she started, “could you really go back to Bill after this weekend with David? Do you even want to?”

Counseling, Bill had suggested. It was a viable option. No, it was a great option. But I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would never reach the level of intimacy with Bill that I had during my short time with David. Just in one bath, I’d opened more to David than I maybe ever had to Bill.

The doorbell jarred me from my thoughts. Gretchen was still staring at me, but she blinked. “I’ll be right back,” she said, standing.

I settled into the couch and warmed my hands with the mug until she returned.

“That was a delivery service. They dropped this off,” she said, handing me a heavy brown paper bag. I peered inside and pulled out my duffel bag. There was an unsigned note with David’s handwriting scrawled across it.

To get you through the next few days

I found three work outfits inside, along with fresh undergarments and some toiletries. I hugged the note to my chest and smiled sadly.

“Did David send this stuff?” Gretchen asked, looking into my bag. “Um, that is so thoughtful.”

My smile fell when I thought about him gathering and packing everything for me.

“Who’s here?” someone called from the hallway. Ava appeared, spotted me on the couch and smiled. “Hey, Livs! Staying with us tonight?” she asked, eyeing my bag. It was evident that Gretchen hadn’t told her anything, otherwise I knew she’d be prying me with questions.

“Is that all right?” I asked.

“Duh,” she said. “I was just about to open a bottle of Pinot Noir.”

“Sounds excellent,” Gretchen said.

Wine and girl talk was the perfect distraction. Bethany, Gretchen’s other roommate, appeared when she heard the clinking of glasses. She talked for an hour straight and had only covered half of her weekend when the doorbell rang again.

This time it was Greg, who sauntered in the room behind Gretchen after she let him in. “Ladies,” he greeted.

“Hey, you,” I said, pleasantly surprised to see him. “What are you doing here?”

He sat on one side of me as Gretchen sat on the other end of the couch. “Gretchen said you were having a girls’ night, so I’m here to crash. Like old times.”

“Just without Lucy,” I said, frowning.

“Lucy’ll come around,” he said. “You know her, loyal to a fault. So what’s tonight’s meeting about? Taking a break from all the sex, Livvy?”

I rolled my eyes, but not before I saw Ava’s and Bethany’s eyebrows shoot up in unison.

“Can I tell them?” Gretchen asked. “Please. I am dying to see their reaction.”

I sighed irritably, even though I was also a little curious. “Fine,” I relented.

“Olivia is fucking David Dylan. Remember – ”

Bethany sprung onto the couch in one motion. “Get out!” she cried, repeating it as she jumped up and down.

“It’s . . . I’m . . .” Words failed me as embarrassment set in.

“Bethany!” Ava screamed. “Shut up and pause!” Her eyes cut to me, and I braced myself for the next words out of her mouth. “But you’re married,” she said.

I glanced down at my hand by habit and said, “We’re taking a break.”
A break? Why did I say that?

“Shit, I do not blame you, girlfriend,” Bethany said. “That hunk of a man is worth taking a break for.”

I nodded and smiled. He most definitely was. For the first time since I’d seen Bill, I let my mind wander back to my morning in the shower. To the command David had over his body and mine. To the way he worked me, pushing me to the edge and then further, fucking me to climax like it was his job.

“Hello? Liv?”

“Hmm?”

“She’s obviously picturing him naked right now,” Bethany decided. “And now I am too. Is he hung?”

“Gross,” Greg wailed.

I laughed. “Yes. Seriously
hung
. Can you fucking believe it?”

“I can!” Ava squealed, apparently pacified by my explanation that Bill and I were on a break. “He’s like six-foot-three – ”

“Four,” I cut in.

“And no guy is that confident if he ain’t packing,” she finished. “It must be good, right? The sex?”

I rolled my head onto the back of the couch. “Ava,” I said seriously and up to the ceiling. “You have
no
idea.”

The three of them broke into a mixture of giggles, squeals and I even heard an ‘Amen.’ Greg, I noticed, had buried his head between two pillows.

“That’s so unfair,” Ava whined. “You get two men, and I’ve got nobody.”

“It’s harder than you’d think,” I said.

“Explain yourself,” she demanded.

“David and I are more than just fucking. We’re, I guess . . .”

“He asked her to move in,” Gretchen supplied.

“No!” Bethany said with eyes as wide as saucers. “What’s stopping you?”

“Well, for one, she’s still married,” Ava pointed out.

“Yes, there’s that,” I agreed.

“Are you guys, like, in love?” Ava asked.

“It’s complicated.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“I . . . I haven’t . . . I think I do.”

“Olivia,” Gretchen scolded. “You love him. I know you do.”

“I do, I just,” I said, looking around nervously. “Like I said – ”

“It’s complicated, we know,” Gretchen said, rolling her eyes. “Liv, if you love Bill and want to make it work with him, that’s one thing. But don’t ruin things with David because you’re scared. That’s not fair to either of you.”

“And if he dumps me for someone else in six months? I would be devastated. I couldn’t handle it,” I said, acutely aware of all the eyes on me.

“You could,” Gretchen said. “You’re stronger than you think. If he breaks your heart, then you’ll deal with it. But you owe it to yourself to try.” She glanced at Greg, who leaned forward and winked at her.

“Get a room,” Bethany teased.

“We will, when my lady is ready.”

Still?
I mouthed at Gretchen, and she nodded proudly. I held my glass up to her and took a sip, shocked that she of all people had refrained from sleeping with him for so long.

“So, hold up,” Bethany said. “Not that I care because I like you a lot more, but isn’t Lucy’s sister dating that gorgeous piece of ass?”

I choked on my wine and started coughing. Everyone stared at me again. “They went on a few dates,” I said. “But he says it didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t,” Gretchen said. “You told me he didn’t even do anything with her.”

I wavered, not exactly thrilled at the idea of sharing all this with a roomful of people. “Bill said something about it this afternoon.”

“What?” Ava asked, riveted.

I looked at Gretchen when I spoke. “Dani told Bill that she and David slept together. David told me otherwise.”

“You think he lied to you?” Gretchen asked.

“No,” I said. “But I don’t know why she would lie.”

Gretchen pursed her lips. “They didn’t,” she said, waving her hand. “I’m sure Lucy would’ve mentioned that. She’s not happy that you moved in on Dani’s man, but she’d be irate if it was that serious.”

I nodded. “You’re probably right.”

“Let’s ask her,” Bethany suggested.

“Now?” Ava asked.

“Why not? Call her up, Gretch.”

“No,” I protested. “I don’t want to cause trouble.”

“Girl, you need answers, stat,” Bethany said. “Call her.”

“I think we should,” Gretchen agreed.

I shifted uncomfortably. “If anyone’s going to call, it’s going to be me,” I said, holding my hand out for Gretchen’s phone.

“Go on, girl,” Bethany cheered.

I copied the number into my phone and hit ‘Send.’ My heart raced as it rang, no idea what I would say, and I was relieved when I got her voicemail. I left a brief, stumbling message asking her to call me and hung up. I was met with four pairs of eyes when I looked up. “You guys are intense,” I said and laughed nervously.

“This is really strange behavior,” Greg added.

Ava threw a wine cork at him, and we laughed. “It’s what you get for crashing girls’ night.”

“Sure,” he said, smiling to himself.

~

After an early shower the next morning, I walked back into the bedroom where Gretchen was just waking up.

“Dude,” she said, “you’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”

“Why?” I asked, toweling my hair.

“You would not stop thrashing. I think you gave me a bruise,” she said, rubbing her leg.

I dropped onto the edge of the bed. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she said reluctantly. “But you were like, moving a lot and talking. Did you have another nightmare?”

I thought back a moment. “Probably.”

“What are they about?”

“Mostly that I’m suffocating. I’m choking or something. I remember not being able to breathe.”

“When did they start?”

“Right after the Mark Alvarez attack.”

“Do you get them with David?”

I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”

“Did you have a nightmare at David’s?”

“Yes. After he left the bed. But not when he held me. Actually, I slept really well there. With Bill, I would get them even if he was holding me.”

“It’s too early in the morning for this,” she said, jerking her head as if shaking something off. “Is that my robe?”

I shrugged and smiled.

I didn’t realize until late in the day that I’d been checking my phone and e-mail for something from David every hour. I didn’t have a reason to expect anything, but I was looking for it anyway.

Serena poked her head in my office. “Beman says you’re taking Friday off,” she said.

I stared at my assistant. I’d forgotten that I’d booked tickets for David and me to go to Dallas and see my dad. “Yes,” I told her. “Sorry I forgot to mention it. Beman was sure to remind me about Friday’s deadline though.”

She grinned and stepped into the office. “You’ll get it done in time. You always do.”

“I know. I’m going to try and knock it out tonight though,” I said, noticing then that it was falling dark. “In fact, it’s past five o’clock, you can go home.”

“Actually,” she said, hesitating. “I’m down to stay and help.”

“Really?”

“Totally. Just give me whatever.”

I leaned back in my chair and chewed the cap of my pen. “That would be a huge help. Get your stuff, and you can set up in here.”

We worked silently and diligently next to each other for the next couple hours until her head popped up. “Should I order us some food?”