Come Sit By Me (12 page)

Mar 12

I wayted a few days to see if my father mised the coyns but nuthing hapened. I dont think he will at leest not untill the plan is carryed owt.

Mar 14

Today I brot the coyns to give to Patrot. He sayd he culd eazly get $200 for them, maybee mor so we had enuf left over for other suplys like amunishun. He sed next weak Id have my own rifel. I got xcited to think abowt that.

Patrot decyded to reveel the plan to me as a rewarrd for turning over the coyns. He sayd I shuldnt rite it down becaws of sekuritty. But wen I herd it I got skared. I was woried I culdnt cary owt the plan. Patrot sayd it was to layt to bak down becaws I had comitted miself. Enny way it was part of dairing big. I shuld consentrayt on that to gain curaje.

Mar 17

I road owt to the semmatary by miself today after scool. Not to meat Patrot but becaz it mayd me hapy to be thair. I met an old minnister thair. I was afrayd he was spying and wuld reveel the plan. But wen I started talking to him he didnt have a clew. I asked him if he new Sally Dennis, and he sed she was befoar his time. I told him she was my Grams mother. I dont no if he beleeved me. He asked me abowt Gram and I sed she had dyed. I told him she was the only person who thot I was enny good. That seemed to wayk him up. He told me that there are manny peepol who luv us. We dont no the nayms of all of them. I started to arrgu with him, but decided I didnt want to mayk him suspishus. He mite see us on Satterday sumtym.

When I went home I thot abowt what the minnister sed. I tryd to think of peepol who mite luv me. Not my parrents, thats for sur. They want me to be sumthing else insted of who I am. Sumbuddy they can be prowd of. Im not good enuf for them. I nevar will be.

I thot Patrot mite luv me. Xcept hes a guy and guys arnt suposed to luv eech other. But if I culd Id luv him.

We wuldnt have sexx or ennything lyke that.

Mar 21

Patrot brot me my own rifel today. Its a Brouning BLR. He sed it was lite enuf to cary and trak a target. Wen I told him about meating the minnister, he sed wed better muve to a more sekyur place to praktis from now on. We road ar bykes out to a forrest wair he sed peepol onley went to hunt.

He showd me al abowt the rifel, to lode it and aym it. I lerned how to cok it. I had to due it fast, Patrot told me. Becaz I wuld have a lot of targets to tayk down and sum of them mite be runing away.

I was reely xcited becaz I kept thinking of what Dona wuld think wen she saw me with the rifel. I bet shed drop her pantees for me then.

Thinking abowt that now givs me a hardone. I think Im goyng to giv in to my impulses.

I better not rite enny mor.

Mar 23

The bich liebrain sent a noat to the cownslor abowt my overdew libray book. Miz Littel asked me why I didnt retern it. I told her I had prommised my Gram Id reed it and it was long. Miz Littel sed she was sure my Gram wuldnt want me to keep it overdew. I sayd a prommise was a prommise and since Gram was ded I culdnt take bak the prommise. Miz Littel made a noat.

I just hoap the bich liebrain is thair wen we cary owt the plan. But I cant rite abowt that.

Mar 28

Patrot sais the tyme is drawing neer. He explayned that we will cary owt the plan on a day when Mr. Barns sends all are enemys to the liebray at wunce. We will stor the ryfels in my locker the day befor. Then we can meat thair befor clas. Then we will go to the libray. Im not sposed to rite down what will happen next. But peepol will remmemmber.

When we praktised today, Patrot put up pitchers of sum of the peepol we will be tarrgiting. Shooting at them is good praktis for the reel thing. I was hapy when I shot at Donas pitchur. And Marcuses. Its geting xciting to think abowt the plan.

Mar 30

Miz Littel askd me if I returnd the libray book. I sed no. She told me I shuld tayk ressponsibilty for my aktchuns. I sed the only aktchun I was tayking was reeding the book and what was so bad abowt that? She made a noat and sed I had a probblim with athorrity figgyurs.

April 1

Today is April Fools Day. I wanted to go up to Dona and preten to shoot her and then yel April Fool. But I culdn't becaz of sekuritty. She saw me looking at her tho and turnd up her noas lyke I smeld bad. Prety soon shell begg me to have sexx.

April 2

I walkd arownd the scool looking for the peepol who ar the tarrgits. I imajinned carying out the plan with eech of them to see if I culd do it. I nead to except my roll, Patrot says. I think I can. Its scary but you got to dair big.

April 4

We praktised with the pitchers agan today. Patrot culd see I was stil nervus, and he told me that superrier beings always destroy the inferrier wuns. It was a law of nachur, and that was just the way it waz. We wuld not get cawt as long as we kild enybuddy who saw us. We wuld dich the rifels and go owtsyd like we had nuthing to do with it.

What abowt the wuns who arnt are ennemys, I asked him. Maybe we shuld spair them.

He sed they were kolatterul dammaj. He told me how the kernel explayned it. When our armd forces went to Irak, they had to cleer a town called Falluja, wich was held by are ennemys. It was nesesary to kill evrybuddy who wuldnt leeve the town. Even the babys, becaz the ennemy sumtimes hid boms in thair dipers. It was the onley way to resku the town from the ennemy. So the inocent wuns who dyed were kolatterul dammaj. The soljers who tuk Falluja all got meddals so that showd it was alrite.

April 6

I felt prety good abowt the plan today. Now wen I look at the uther kids in scool I dont kare if they think Im dum. Becaz wen the plan is carryd own me and Patrot will be reveeled as superrier beings.

April 7

I finnished Look Hoamword Angell so I kept my prommise to Gram. At the end of the book the hero Gene gos off to Harverd, wair his father did not want him to go. So maybee the mesaj Gram wanted me to lern was that you shuld due wat you want, not wat yur parrents want. Its like what Patrot is allways saying, Dair big.

April 8

Miz Littel sayd she saw a chanj in my atitood. I was afrayd shed gess we have a plan. But no. She just sed I seamed to have my angar manajement under controll. I sed yes I elt much beter and she maid a noat. Gess I foold her. Anuther sine of being a superrier being.

April 11

Its all set now. Patrot nos what Mr Barns skedul is, and the day when all our enemys are in the liebray will be next Wensday. Today we praktised by shooting live things like burds and watevver animals were arownd. I was to xcited to hit enny, but Patrot sais when we ennter the liebray evvrywon will freez and we can pick them off wun by wun.

Patrot told me to cleer my mynd of everthing xcept my purrpos. Consentrayt on that. I was duing that at super when my mother asked me what I wuz thinking abowt. I laffed becauz shed be surprysed if she new. Then my father sed hes allways got his hed in the clowds. They culd be kolatterul dammaj sumday.

April 13

I think thairs a chance we wont surrvyv. Patrot just tels me we will becaz he thinks I wont have the gutts to dye. But I allreddy figgered that owt. It duznt mater if you live to be 100 or onley 15, as long as you do sumthing that peepol will remmemmber. In this town peepol will remmemmber me. As a superrier being.

And noboddy can hert you when your ded.

But I want to put this book in a sayf plase. I made brayl marks in my loker wair onley a blynd personn will fynd them and no wat they meen. Sumday a blynd personn will get my loker and figger them owt. Maybe a hunderd yeers from now.

Im goyng owt now to put the book in a playse that nobuddy wil think of luking unles they reed the brayl marks. In Sallys angells arms. It wil be sayf thair. For as long as the angell is thair. If ennybuddy finds it, they have fownd my sole in it.

This is the end of Caleb's book, in wich he tryd to mayk sens of his life. And deth.

IT WAS
ALMOST TWO
in the morning when I finished reading Caleb's book. I turned out the light and got into bed, but I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what I had read.

Even though Caleb couldn't spell worth shit, he did what my dad says all fiction writers try to do. He came alive on the page. Even though he's dead. I could feel him in the room with me. His soul was in the USB drive, like he said. I was afraid if I turned on the light, I'd see him.

He was crazy, sure. But he had some reasons.

And he had somebody who led him along.

I was sure I knew who that somebody was.

Unless there were two people in this town who called their father “Colonel.” Or as Caleb spelled it, the kernel.

It had to be North. He did what his father said should have been done to Caleb. Told him how to behave. What to think. What to do. Turned him into a killer.

But what was I going to do about it?

At school on Monday, I tried to avoid everybody. Terry waved at me when I came into Ms. Hayward's classroom, but I didn't go over and sit next to her. I just sat in the back and hoped Ms. Hayward wouldn't call on me. She didn't.

I wasn't in any of North's classes until third period, math with Mr. Gregorio. North always had a bunch of jocks and pretty girls sitting around him, so I didn't need to make any special effort to keep away from him.

But at lunch, there was no way. Sitting at the jock table as always, North caught my eye as I came off the line with my tray. He waved me over and if I had tried to ignore him, he would have known something was wrong.

The news at the table was good, and he wanted to share it: somebody had found a new place to park on Friday nights. It was Ames, an old discount store that had closed. They had a parking lot that was usually too lit up for the purposes that North and his friends wanted. But either somebody had shot out the lights, or the company that owned the property had stopped paying the electric bill. Either way, it was dark and had plenty of room for cars.

North started to rag me. “Now, you're only allowed to park there if you promise not to do anything stupid. No climbing the light poles and fixing the lights.”

Big laugh from around the table.

“And no complaining to the cops if your girl don't give you what you want.”

Screams of laughter and various suggestions as to what I could want.

I just looked at North. Normally, I would try to join in the laughter to show what a good guy I was, but I had just read how North took a not-too-bright kid and turned him into a killer.

What I wanted to know was: how did it work out so that Caleb was the only killer, and North got away? What really happened the day it all came down?

There was only one person who could tell me that.

And if I asked him, he would know I had found Caleb's book.

I made an excuse for not working in the newspaper office after school, but then it turned out I had to wait for Susan, who was helping Ms. Clement reshelve books in the library. Ms. Clement was cheery and sexy as usual. I wondered how old she was. She might have just graduated from college last year. She might have skipped a grade. Maybe she was only three years older than me.

But then I reminded myself there was still Colleen. And her boobs, which were, frankly, better than Ms. Clement's.

“How are you doing with
Look Homeward, Angel
, Paul?”

Ms. Clement had a nice voice. I could fall in love with that alone.

“Pretty good,” I said. “You were right. It is long.”

“We have some new titles for young readers that have just come in,” she said. “You might like some of those.” I knew what she was thinking. It was a pretty big stretch to go straight from Dr. Seuss to Thomas Wolfe.

The books she showed me were nearly all written for girls. They either had vampires, or werewolves, or zombies, or a combination of all three. Girls were the main characters and they had tame boyfriends who weren't anything like boys I had known. Sort of like neutered dogs. Good for petting, but not much else. No wonder the girls liked vampires better.

But I checked one of the books out to make Ms. Clement feel like she had made a contribution to reading.

On the way home, Susan said to me, “I didn't know you liked tween chick lit.”

“The book?” I said. “I just took it because she offered it to me. If you want to read it, you can.”

“I stopped reading that author in seventh grade,” she said.

I went back to Thomas Wolfe that night. Got through eleven pages. Tween chick lit was looking better with every page.

I floated through the week in a kind of haze. I got a 73 on a math test, and I'm usually good in math. On the one day when I finally had to do some work on the newspaper, Terry asked me what was wrong. I had misspelled half a dozen words in this article I wrote. I knew what caused it: I was channelling Caleb and spelling like him too.

Every time I opened my locker, I thought about the kid who had it before me. I shouldn't have tried to find out what he was like. I should have just shrugged off the fact that I had his locker and made a joke out of it. Charge kids a quarter to look inside.

But why did I feel sorry for a kid who had shot down seven people?

I managed to keep away from North for a couple of days. I brought my lunch in a bag and ate it in the corridor near my locker. Even so, he caught me by the arm one day after gym and said, “Hey, I didn't piss you off, did I?”

“No, no. Why would you say that?”

“You know, the other day at lunch we were just fooling around.”

I tried to edge away from him, but he had a firm grip. “Yeah, I've just had a lot to do lately. I've got to get my grades up, my Dad says.”

He didn't look like he believed me. “I just wanted to make sure you came to the game Friday night,” he went on. “You know, we got a new place to go now.”

I nodded, thinking of Colleen and what she had under her shirt. It was tempting. “I'll try to make it,” I said.

“I got something special lined up,” he told me. “You'll like it.”

Well, that made me curious enough to want to see the game. I knew the real sporting events started afterward. I sat next to Kyle, the freshman who started reporting the games when I was grounded. He was so much better at writing sports than I was that Terry decided to let him keep doing it. Fine with me.

Kyle was a nut on sports, and he made kind of a running commentary on the game. He was practicing to be a sports announcer. To me, things looked pretty much the same as the last game I had gone to. Hamilton was down 24-9 after the first half. The kid who kicked field goals for us was getting better. Lots of practice, I assumed.

“You notice something about North?” Kyle asked me.

Yeah, he's a real killer
, I thought. “What?” I said.

“He's playing for stats,” Kyle said.

I thought about this, and decided I had no clue. “What's that mean?”

“See, if you're evaluating a quarterback's play, you notice how many I's he's got.”

“I's?”

“Interceptions,” Kyle said, in the same tone of voice Ms. Clement used when she was introducing chick lit books to me. “North almost never has an interception, because he throws the ball away or eats it instead of throwing into traffic.”

I nodded. I sort of understood.

“And he doesn't fumble either,” said Kyle, “because if he's tackled he just tucks the ball in and takes the sack.”

“Isn't that good?” I asked.

“Not necessarily,” said Kyle. “A QB who takes more risks might make a few more receptions, or try to run for a gain. Kyle's just playing for stats, not for the team.”

“Is he good enough to get a scholarship somewhere?” I asked.

“Probably,” Kyle replied. “Especially if somebody is just looking at stats and doesn't actually send a scout to watch him.”

I nodded.
Everything North does is for North
, I thought.

I hung around after the game as North strutted around, taking congratulations. He had thrown for a couple touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Of course the game was out of reach by then, and the other team was hardly trying. That was when North got his best stats, as Kyle would say.

Finally he came over, with a couple of girls in tow. They were spectacular, at least by Hamilton High standards. Both cheerleaders, naturally enough. “This's Bree and Vicky,” he said. I had seen them around school. “They're going with us tonight.” The girls gave me big smiles, almost identical. “I told them you're from New York,” he said.

And probably that I had a small role on
Gossip Girl
. If not
Jersey Shore
.

I was a little disappointed, I admit. “Where's Colleen?” I asked.

North waved his hand vaguely in another direction. “She's got something else to do,” he said.

He looked at me funny. He could see I wasn't exactly jumping up and down with joy. As I rightly should have been. He leaned forward and said in a lower voice. “Vicky'll give you the beej of your life, man.” His eyes shone. I could see it was a promise that he would keep. Or she would.

I looked again at Vicky and Bree, who couldn't have missed hearing him. Their smiles were even bigger than before. In fact, it suddenly struck me that they were eyeing me like they were ready to pounce. Like two vampires. I know that looks like a cheap shot considering all I've said about vampire books, and anyway vampires are mostly men.

But still. There they were. Ready to suck something besides my blood. It gave me the creeps. I know that if you're a boy, you probably think I was an idiot. But you weren't there.

“I think I'll go home,” I said.