Color of Forgiveness (4 page)

“Well, you make sure you let them know that
I’m not mad at them or any shit like that, okay? They’re just kids.
I don’t want them feeling guilty over shit that has nothing to do
with them. Plus it’s kinda fucked up that she used to be their
aunt.”

“Yeah, we’ll talk to them. Why in the hell
did she want to see you after all this time?”

“Well…”

“Damn it. Hang on. I think Lawson World War
III just broke out upstairs.”

Dylan hears a bunch of scuffling followed by
the kids yelling in the background.

“
Jackson just punched me in the
nose!”

“
No, I didn’t.”

“
Yes, you did, you liar!”

“
Well, you punched me in the
stomach!”

“
Did not!”

“Ah, sh—oot. I gotta go, dude. The boys got
in a fight and Jackson’s nose is bleeding. I’ll call ya later,
bro,” Chad says before hanging up.

Dylan tosses his phone on the porch beside
him. Closing his eyes, he takes in a deep drag and starts to mull
over his conversation with Jackie. At least he was able to find out
that Myra’s safe; she just doesn’t want to see his sorry ass. He
knows he shouldn’t be surprised by that but he actually is. He
really thought she’d give him a chance to explain everything.

Where the hell is she? Is she with a friend?
She didn’t seem to have any friends in town other than Jackie, and
he knows she doesn’t have any family. She could have gone back to
Philly. He sure as hell hopes not. But that is where that friend of
hers lives. That bitch that chewed his ass out… he can’t for the
life of him remember what her name is… something with an S? Sarah?
Sharon? He’s going to have to start paying more attention to shit
like that.

Taking another puff of his cigarette, he
flicks the ash off the end of it and stares down at it for a
minute. What a fucking disastrous mess he’s made of everything. He
should have talked to Myra before he slept with her, bottom line.
That was his intention all along. But good intentions aren’t worth
shit. Its actions that count, and he fucking failed, all the way
around.

His thoughts stray back to the incredible
night they had together; the way her body responded to his, how
damn soft her skin felt, the look in her eyes when he was inside
her. Groaning, he closes his eyes and leans his head against the
railing.

Then Sabrina had to come along. But he can’t
put the blame on her because it wasn’t her fault. The blame is all
on him. He takes full responsibility for being an ass and not
handling the situation the way he should have. He can’t go back and
change anything; he knows that for damn certain. But he refuses to
let Myra run and hide from him and think that he’s anything like
that fucking sleaze ex of hers. He’ll chase her to goddamn Philly
or wherever the hell she’s at if he has to. He needs her, and
there’s no way in hell he’s going to let her go that easily.

* * *

“I still can’t believe he’s gone,” Susie
says in a soft voice, tears gleaming in her eyes.

Myra and Susie are sitting on Susie’s bed
with their backs against the headboard and the covers pulled up
over their legs.

“I know. I can’t believe it either.”

“He’s the first person close to me that I’ve
ever lost. I still have all of my grandparents for goodness sakes…
although my Grandpa Fred is way past his expiration date. I love
that old coot with all my heart, but I don’t know how he’s not
killed himself and a slew of other people with his driving. He
scares the hot shit out of me. That loveable old turd does not
understand the concept of ‘driving in one lane’. He thinks he’s
supposed to straddle the line. I swear to god, he runs people right
off the road and into the ditch. I’ve actually seen him do it and
let me tell you, it’s scary as hell. I told mom she needs to drag
his skinny ass to the DMV and demand that they take away his
driver’s license. All she needs to do is video about two seconds of
him driving, and she’d have her proof.”

Myra giggles.

“And do you know what he did the other day?”
Susie asks. Myra shakes her head. “He told my mom that someone was
trying to steal his furniture…
inside his house
. So he got
out a black Sharpie and wrote his name and phone number on every
piece of furniture in the house. And I don’t mean like on the back
of the couch… I mean he wrote it on the front in huge letters. He
ruined every piece of furniture they own. You should’ve seen my
grandma. She was so pissed. I was shocked she didn’t club him with
an iron skillet or something.”

Myra laughs and shakes her head.

“So mom asked him why he did it. He told her
that when they caught the thief, he’d be able to rightfully claim
his property because his name would be on it and he could show them
his driver’s license. He’s such a hoot.”

“That’s hilarious.”

“Seriously, though, I don’t know how you’ve
done it losing so many people like you have. You must be a really
strong person.”

Myra shakes her head. “Hardly… I didn’t have
any choice. I had to deal with it one way or the other.”

Susie nods and stares down at her hands in
her lap. “I just don’t understand why it had to be my dad. He is… I
mean was… I can’t believe I’m talking about him in the past tense.”
A small sob escapes her lips. Myra grabs her hand and squeezes it.
“He was the funniest person I’ve ever known.” She dabs at her eyes
then leans her head back against the headboard, staring up at the
ceiling. “He could always make me laugh. No matter how shitty my
day was he could tell me a joke and have me laughing within
seconds. He had this knack of being able to find humor in any
situation. He looked at the world with different eyes. I loved that
about him. It made him so special.”

“He was an awesome person. And he loved you
so much.”

Susie snorts. “That’s true. He tried so hard
not to play favorites, but I knew I was his favorite since I was
the only girl and I was so much like him. My brother’s didn’t
inherit his sense of humor so they didn’t ‘get’ it when dad and I
would be sitting over in the corner cracking up over something
stupid and silly.”

A knock on the bedroom door interrupts
them.

“Come in,” Susie hollers.

Tucker opens the door and peeps his head
inside.

“Come on in, honey,” Susie says. “Where’s
Wes?”

Tucker climbs on the bed and sits
cross-legged. “He fell asleep in front of the TV.”

“Are you ready to go to bed?” Susie
asks.

Tucker shrugs. “In a little bit.”

“You okay?” Susie asks.

“Yeah…” Tucker stares down at the comforter
for a moment before looking up at her. “Are you still sad?”

“Yeah, I am. I’m going to miss your grandpa
a lot. Are you sad?”

Tucker nods. “Yeah… I’m gonna miss him too.
Where do you think he’s at? Is he in heaven?”

“Of course he is. I bet he’s cracking jokes
with the angels right now.”

Tucker grins. “Do you think he’s telling
them that funny fart joke he always tells… the one about the guy
who went to the doctor?”

Susie laughs lightly and her eyes meet
Myra’s for a second before she looks back at him. “No, honey, I
think that joke is a little too ornery for angel’s ears. He’s
probably just telling them some knock knock jokes.”

“Oh. Do you think he’s telling them the one
about the tater?”

Susie smiles at him. “Yeah, I bet he is. And
I bet those angels are laughing so hard right now their wings are
about to fall off.”

Tucker giggles. “Grandpa would love to see
an angel laugh its wings off.”

“He would,” Susie says with a smile
affectionately running her hand over Tucker’s hair. “Go brush your
teeth and I’ll come and tuck you into bed in a few minutes,
okay?”

“Okay.” Tucker hops off the bed and closes
the door behind him. Susie covers her face with her hands and
bursts into tears. Myra hugs her as she sobs.

“I can’t stand it,” Susie whispers into
Myra’s shirt. “I can’t stand to see my boys hurting.”

Myra pats her back and nods, tears staining
her cheeks as well. She doesn’t know what to say so she just holds
Susie and lets her cry.

Susie finally pulls away and grabs some
Kleenex from the night stand, handing one to Myra. They’re both
quiet for a few moments as they wipe their eyes and try to get
their composure.

Susie breaks the silence. “I’m so glad
you’re here.”

“Me too,” Myra says. “We’ll get through this
together, okay?”

Leaning her head back against the headboard,
she turns towards Myra. “Together,” she whispers.

Myra nods, her lip trembling as she tries to
give her best friend a small smile. She knows all too well what the
next couple of days hold for Susie. She wishes she could somehow
shield her from the pain that lies ahead.

CHAPTER 2

Myra lies curled up on her side in Susie’s
guest bedroom in the dark, staring at her phone clutched in her
hand. Her fingertip touches the volume button on the side and the
light comes on. She stares at the face of it until the light goes
out then she presses the button again. She repeats the process over
and over.

When she checked her phone earlier before
slipping into bed, there were six missed calls from Dylan and one
voicemail. As she continues to watch the light go on and off, she
debates whether to listen to his message. Or just delete it.

She worked so hard today to keep Dylan out
of her thoughts and focus on Susie but she slipped up a few times.
Well, more than a few times and now that she’s all alone in the
silent darkness, he’s all she can think about. The light on her
phone goes off again, but this time she doesn’t press the volume
button. A tear slips from the corner of her eye and vanishes into
the pillow beneath her.

Susie still doesn’t know what happened with
her and Dylan and Myra can’t even think about bringing it up to her
right now. Her failed love life seems so trivial compared to losing
a parent. It
is
trivial… meaningless.

But no matter how much she tries to
trivialize it, it still hurts. It doesn’t make the pain go away and
it doesn’t stop her thoughts from being consumed by him.

Readjusting the pillow under her head, she
snuggles into it and wonders what he’s doing right now. Is he
thinking about her? Is he wondering where she is? Or is he with…
Sabrina? She squeezes her eyes shut tight against that painful
thought.

Even though he denied it, in her heart she
can’t help but feel like she’s been cheated on again. Maybe he
really didn’t sleep with Sabrina… It did seem like he was telling
the truth. But that’s exactly what she thought with Trent. He said
he was telling the truth and look how that turned out. But even if
Dylan didn’t lie about sleeping with Sabrina, he did admit that he
ran off the morning after to be with her. What type of a man does
that? Sleeps with someone and then runs off immediately to be with
their ex?

Sighing heavily, she flips on her back and
stares up at the ceiling. She hates comparing Dylan to Trent but
she can’t seem to help it. Trent’s the only real relationship she’s
ever had. She really thought Dylan was different; that he was
nothing like Trent. But he’s doing the same exact things: keeping
secrets, lying by omission. She can’t believe this has happened to
her again. Is there something wrong with her? Is she somehow
causing the men she’s with to cheat? Or is she just not worth
committing to? Surely she couldn’t be that terrible a judge of
character could she?

Turning back on her side, she hugs the
covers tight to her chest, the ache inside intensifying. She thinks
about the one question she wants answered the most but fears the
worst: Is he still in love with Sabrina?

How could he not be? Sabrina has to be one
of the most beautiful women Myra’s ever seen in her life. Even more
beautiful than his sister-in-law and that’s saying something.
Sabrina just looks like she goes with Dylan no matter how clichéd
that sounds.

Sabrina obviously wants to get back with
him; she made that very clear. Myra wonders what could have ever
caused them to divorce in the first place. Has he cheated before?
That thought makes her feel positively ill.

A flash of Dylan’s expression when he showed
up at the door enters her mind’s eye. He was so angry. But of
course he’d be angry because he’d gotten caught red-handed. And
then he’d had the nerve to try to deny everything but yet refused
to explain anything to her when she demanded it. But it makes sense
to her, though, because there was nothing for him to say. What
could he have possibly come up with?

I ran away from you after an amazing night
of sex, leaving you all alone in your house because...

Myra’s stomach clenches because the only way
she can see him finishing that sentence is:

…
Because Sabrina called and wants me
back.

Her phone that she’d completely forgotten
she was still holding vibrates in her hand, causing a startled gasp
to escape her. Sitting up, her heart almost pounds out of her chest
when she sees Dylan’s name. Holding her breath, she anxiously waits
to see if he’s going to hang up or leave a message. Her heart beats
harder when she sees the ‘new voicemail’ message pop up. Staring
down at, she rubs her thumb over the face of her phone, feeling
torn. Part of her desperately wants to listen to it, but another
part of her tells her to just delete it. Be done with him and don’t
allow him to hurt her anymore. But before she can make a decision,
a text pops up.

Im so sorry –D

Her breath catches in her throat, those
three little words sealing her decision. She
has
to hear
what he has to say. Taking in a deep breath, she quickly dials her
voicemail. The older message plays first.