Color of Forgiveness (36 page)

“Me too,” Sherri says. “Call me when you get
to Boise. We’ll have to do lunch some time with your mom.”

“That sounds terrific,” Jackie says,
bubbling with excitement. “Bye.”

“Make sure to lock all your deadbolts,”
Sherri tells her.

“I will,” Jackie promises. She looks at
Myra. “Make sure to bring a gun or two. I sleep with a baseball bat
nearby so I think we should be fine.”

Myra watches from the porch to make sure
Jackie gets into her house safely. Just as she turns to go back
inside, Dylan’s truck pulls into the driveway. Her brows pull
together in confusion. Both doors open, and her heart starts
hammering when she sees Dylan get out of the passenger side.

Stepping out onto the porch, she frowns as
she stares at him. Her frown gets deeper when she sees a cigarette
hanging out of his mouth.

He never looks up. He dumps what looks like
the same bag he had earlier into the bed of his truck. Shoving his
hands into his pockets, he keeps his head down and makes a beeline
towards the garage.

Dennis walks towards her, frowning.
“Everything all right?” he asks.

“Yeah…” Myra says hesitantly.

Sherri steps out onto the porch and Dennis
looks at her. “I think you and Chad should get back on the road.
It’s getting late.”

“What?” Myra asks, her eyes darting between
the two of them. “What’s going on?”

“I’m going to stay a few days with Dylan,”
Dennis tells her. “To make sure he’s doing okay.”

“Oh.” Myra’s thrilled to hear that; maybe
she won’t worry so much about him now that his dad will be around.
She hopes Dennis can talk to him. Dylan must have gone to the
garage to tell Chad goodbye.

She turns to Sherri. “You guys didn’t get
any supper. Do you want to take some sandwiches on the road with
you?”

“No. That’s awfully sweet of you, but we’ll
just pick up some fast food on the way home. We’ll be fine.”

Sherri pulls her into a hug and whispers in
her ear. “Remember, don’t worry and give him some time, and if you
need me, call me. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Sherri pulls back,
her eyes teary. She gives Myra a soft smile.

“Thanks.”

“Move outta the way,” Chad bellows as he
barrels up the steps. “I gotta say bye to baby girl before I go.”
He smiles widely, grabbing Myra up in a big hug.

“I got all of your windows sealed and
boarded up nice and tight until they can be replaced. And just so
ya know, I gave Dylan a little talkin’ to,” he says. “I told him to
pull that stupid head out of his ass. If he doesn’t, you let me
know and I’ll yank it out for him, all right?”

Myra can’t help but grin at him.

Sherri and Chad both wave as they walk down
the steps and disappear around the corner of the house.

Dennis follows Myra back into the house.
“Sherri told me you’re going to stay a few days with your
neighbor?” he says.

“Yeah.”

“Do you have some things packed? I could
help you with it.”

Myra motions towards the bag she placed by
the door.

Dennis picks it up. “You ready?”

She nods. She stops and glances quickly
around the house before she sighs and locks the door behind
her.

* * *

“So what are you going to do, son?” Dennis
says. “Spend the night out here on the porch in the cold?”

Dylan shrugs as he brings his cigarette to
his lips. He has no idea what the hell he’s doing. He just knows he
needs to watch out for Myra, and right now this seems to be a good
place to do it.

“It’d be a whole lot better if you just went
inside and talked to her. It’d be at least
warmer
.”

Dylan shrugs again. He could care less what
the damn temperature is.

Dennis sighs. “Natalie told me you were
seeing a therapist. I think you need to talk to that person again
and try to get some things worked out.”

Dylan doesn’t answer and just continues
smoking. Dennis zips his coat and pulls his collar up. He takes in
a deep breath. “Well, move over then,” he says. Dylan moves over
and Dennis sits down on Jackie’s steps beside him.

* * *

Myra looks at Jackie. “I’m really tired,”
she says. “I’m going to bed.” She’s completely drained and mentally
exhausted. Jackie hasn’t stopped asking her questions about Dylan
and she just keeps putting her off. She doesn’t have the energy to
tell her. Plus she just doesn’t want to talk about it at all.

“Okay,” Jackie says in a disappointed voice.
“Well, everything’s in the spare bedroom. Let me know if you need
anything.”

Myra wastes no time making her way upstairs.
She sits down on the bed and her phone rings. It’s Natalie.

“Hello?”

“Myra? How are you?”

“I’m okay.”

“I’ve been so worried about you. You’ve been
through so much today. I can’t believe someone broke into your
house.”

“I know.”

“How’s Dylan?”

Myra takes in a deep breath. “I honestly
don’t know. We’ve barely talked since this morning, and I don’t
know when I’m going to see him again.”

“What do you mean? Chad told me that Dylan
was going to stay at Jackie’s house tonight.”

“What?”

“Yeah, he said Dylan told him that he was
going to stay there. He’s not there?”

Myra’s heart begins to pound as she races
out of the bedroom and back down the steps towards the front door.
“I don’t know. I thought he and Dennis went back to his house. Hang
on,” she says as she peeks out Jackie’s window. Her heart skips a
beat when she sees his truck still sitting in her driveway. Just as
she goes to close the curtain, she catches sight of Dylan and
Dennis illuminated by the glow of the porch light sitting on
Jackie’s front steps.

“Oh my god,” she mumbles. “He
is
still here. I had no idea. He’s sitting on the porch.”

“On the porch? That man is so stubborn and
hard-headed. Where’s Dennis?”

“Sitting next to him.”

“Well, maybe Dennis can talk some sense into
him. I’m really worried about him, Myra. He’s kept things bottled
up for too long, and that’s why he had that breakdown this morning.
Sherri told me that he refused to see a doctor, but he
really
needs to see someone. We’ve got to somehow talk him
into it.”

“I know. It’s just… I can’t really do
anything right now since he won’t talk to me.”

“Well, give him some time. I’m sure there’s
a lot going on in that stubborn head of his right now.”

“Yeah…”

“I want you to know that I’m praying for the
both of you and my house is open for you to come and stay anytime,
okay?”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow to check on you, all
right?”

“Okay.”

“Oh. I almost forgot… are you on a pre-natal
vitamin?”

“Uh, no...”

“Make sure you start taking one right away,
okay? Any over the counter type should be fine. Sorry, that’s the
nurse in me talking,” Natalie says with a laugh.

“Thanks for the reminder.”

They say their goodbyes and Myra hangs
up.

“What’s going on?” Jackie asks
immediately.

“Dylan and Dennis are outside on the
porch.”

“What? Why?”

“I’ll explain later, okay? I just need to go
out there,” Myra says as she puts on her coat. “I think they’re
planning on spending the night. Do you mind if I ask them to come
in? Maybe they could sleep on your couch or something?”

“Of course… they can’t sleep outside. It’s
freezing.”

She looks out the window again, and stares
at Dylan sitting there, his elbows on his knees, his head hanging
down. Her heart aches for him so much.

“Just stay here, okay?” she says to Jackie
before she opens the door and steps out onto the porch.

Walking up to the porch railing, she leans
against it. “What are you guys doing out here?” she asks.

Dylan takes a long drag on his cigarette and
stares straight ahead into the darkness, completely ignoring
her.

Dennis stands and clears his throat. “I’m
going to leave you two to talk.”

“Dennis, do you want to go in and get warmed
up?” Myra says. “Jackie said it would be fine.”

“That sounds good to me,” Dennis says to
Myra. He pats Dylan on the back. “I’ll be inside if you need me,
son.”

Myra opens the door for Dennis and looks at
Jackie. “Can you fix Dennis a cup of coffee or something? I’ll be
back in a few minutes.”

“Sure,” Jackie says cheerily as Myra closes
the door.

She leans up against the railing again and
stares at Dylan. She watches as his long fingers bring his
cigarette to his lips. “So… are you going to tell me why you’re
here?”

He’s quiet for a moment as he continues to
stare out into the darkness. “No one is going to fucking touch you
or our baby,” he says in a low voice.

Myra’s stomach flutters; the protective tone
in his voice makes her knees go weak. Or it could be because he
said
our baby
, she’s not sure which. “Why don’t you come
inside, Dylan? It’s freezing out here.”

“Nah, I’m good,” he says, flicking the ash
off the end of his cigarette.

“Do you… is there anything you want to talk
about?” she asks.

He shakes his head. “I just need time to
figure this shit out.”

She takes in a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll be
here when you’re ready.” She opens the door and turns, staring at
him for a long moment before she finally steps back inside and
closes the door behind her.

* * *

Dylan grabs another cigarette from his
pocket, lights it and leans his side against the porch railing. He
hated being a dick to Myra, but he told her the truth. He does need
some time to think. So much shit has happened today that his head
is fucking spinning. He cringes when he thinks back to all of the
shitty, hateful things he said to her this morning when he found
out she was pregnant. He sounded like a chauvinistic asshole when
he told her that the birth control was her responsibility. He knows
that was bullshit; it was just his anger talking.

When he slept with Myra that first time,
he’d just been existing from one day to the next, not giving a fuck
about the future because he had no future. The thought of having
more children had never even entered his realm of thinking until
Myra asked him about it on their date night.

He can’t be a father again he can’t… just
the thought of it sends a shiver of terror through him. The love he
had for Mel… He can’t love another child like that and risk losing
them. It was too much. He’d never survive if it happened again.
Reaching for his wallet, he pulls out a picture of Mel tucked in
the back. It has dirt smudges on it and the edges are all crinkled
up. His eyes water as he stares at Mel’s face.

He’ll never forget the first time he saw
Mel, all tiny with his little face all scrunched up, crying his
little lungs out. All it took was one look. He took one look at his
naked little son and fell in love with him. It was instant and
permanent.

Dylan scrubs a hand over his eyes. He’ll
never forget the first time he held his son’s tiny body in his
arms, or the first time his rough fingers touched his soft skin. He
felt so fragile to Dylan. When Mel’s tiny little hand grasped
Dylan’s finger for the first time and held on so tight, Dylan never
wanted him to let go.

He wipes his eyes again and continues to
stare down at the picture until the sound of the door opening
behind him pulls him out of his thoughts. He roughly shoves Mel’s
picture back into his wallet and slips it into his pocket. He takes
another hit off of his cigarette and flicks the ashes into the
bushes.

“I thought you might be hungry,” Myra says
softly. He glances out of the corner of his eye and watches her set
a blanket down beside him with a plate of food on top of it. She
sets a thermos next to it. “You’re dad’s going to sleep on the
couch. You’re welcome to come in any time.”

“Thanks,” he grunts, frowning. He can’t
believe she’s being so nice to him when he treated her like shit.
She should be pissed at him and ignoring his ass, not making him
food and bringing him goddamn blankets.

“Good night, Dylan,” she says softly before
she turns and closes the door quietly behind her.

* * *

The next morning when Myra hears Jackie
start the water for her shower, she makes her way downstairs to
check on Dylan. One her way to the front door, she looks over at
the couch and sees Dennis curled up snoring peacefully. She peeks
out the window and Dylan is still sitting on the steps of the porch
but he’s asleep. The plate of food she gave him is now empty, and
he has the blanket wrapped around him, some of it bunched up
against the railing as a pillow. She can’t even imagine how
uncomfortable that has to be for him especially with his back
problems.

She wishes she could just make him come
inside. Sighing heavily, she heads into the kitchen to try to start
the men some breakfast. She nibbles on some Saltines as her stomach
flips around. Her phone buzzes with a text.

RU AWAKE?! Why haven’t u called me? I’m
dying rolling on the floor in agony. Call me call me call me call
me call me I won’t stop texting this until you CALL ME WOMAN! Call
me call me call me–S

Myra giggles as she dials Susie.

Susie picks up immediately. “It’s about time
you called me. I was contemplating going on Virtual Best Bud
strike. You
have
to tell me how your weekend went. Oh, and
I’ve been tracking your package. You should get it around ten this
morning. I haven’t been this excited since I went to Vegas and was
standing in line for that $50 all-you-can-eat-paradise and that
fool in front of me turned around and gave me his coupon for a free
buffet. That was one fine day in the Susie books and so is today.
Okay, I’ll shut up now. Go ahead.”

Myra takes in a deep breath. “Susie. I
already know.”