Authors: Linda Hill
“What a mess,” Jen muttered.
Heather looked at her questioningly before standŹing and brushing grass from her shorts. “I’ll go get some ice and that first-aid kit now.”
Heather returned shortly, a bag of ice in one hand and a familiar red, white, and blue first-aid kit in the other. Jen accepted the ice pack, placing it against her brow as they bent to inspect her knee.
“Looks like you lost some skin.”
“He got me good,” Jen agreed as she looked over the area. “I can’t remember the last time I got scraped up like this. Probably when I was ten years old.”
“Amy gets scratches and scrapes all the time,” Heather said. She pushed aside Jen’s protests and began to gingerly clean and dress the wound. She spoke quietly about her daughter while she worked. “It’s funny,” she concluded, carefully covering Jen’s knee with a large Band-Aid. “Years ago I couldn’t imagine myself as a mother. Now I can’t imagine myself as anything else.” Her task complete, she unŹcurled her legs and stretched out on the grass beside Jen.
“She’s a sweet girl. You must be proud of her.”
Heather’s smile was soft. “I am,” she admitted. “It hasn’t always been easy for her. But we’ve done all right. She’s happy.”
Jen studied her carefully, uncertain whether to pursue the topic. “Does her dad live nearby?”
Heather shook her head. “She doesn’t really remember him.” She hesitated, biting her lower lip as she assessed the other woman. “I met Amy’s father while I was going to school out east. By then the braces had come off. I’d gotten contact lenses and had let my hair grow straight.” She lowered her eyes and began absently running her fingers through the grass. “John was the first guy to pay attention to me, and I was overwhelmed by it. I got pregnant. We got married…” Her voice trailed off.
Heather grew quiet. Jen watched her closely, capŹtivated, her heart heavy with the pain that she knew the memories must be stirring.
“How long were you married?”
“Only about a year and a half.” Heather’s smile was ironic. “I think he’s somewhere in Florida.”
Jen searched her eyes, looking for clues. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”
“No,” came the quick reply. “If anything, it was the other way around. I didn’t love him.”
“I’m sorry,” Jen said, knowing the words were inadequate.
They continued talking for some time. Heather explained how she and Amy had moved to Flagstaff where Heather eventually earned her teaching degree. In turn, Jennifer told Heather about her life in Phoenix. Occasionally, they glanced over at the softball game before turning back to their conversation.
The throbbing in Jennifer’s head began to subside, and she lowered the ice pack for Heather’s inspection.
“Ooh,” Heather grimaced. “That’s quite a shiner you’ve got there.”
Jen wrinkled her nose and felt the swollen lump. Thinking of Bobby, and then Sheila, she spoke aloud.
“I knew I’d regret coming back here.”
A small line creased Heather’s brow. “I hope you don’t regret everything about coming back.”
Abashed, Jen smiled. “No. Not everything.”
“Your sister seems glad to have you here. She’s very nice. I like her.”
“She is, isn’t she?” Jen grew thoughtful and blinked hard, trying to arrange her thoughts. “I’m beginning to realize that I’ve kind of isolated myself from her a bit.” She stared meaningfully as she conŹsidered this. “My fault. But I’ve missed her, and it’s been good to see her.”
Heather nodded, seeming to understand. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you came back.”
Jen blushed, embarrassed. “I’m glad you’re here too.” She was quiet for a moment. “What made you decide to come back?”
“Interesting question. Why do you ask?”
Jen glanced over to the softball field. “I don’t know. I just imagine that everyone has one reason or another. Mostly I think to see how their lives stack up against everyone else’s.”
“What about you? What’s your reason?”
“I asked you first.”
“Fair enough.” Heather sighed, choosing her words carefully. “To exorcise some old ghosts.” Her eyes lifted shyly. “I’m not sure how well you remember me back in school. Most of the kids teased me quite a bit.”
Jennifer felt herself wincing. “I remember.”
Heather nodded and lifted a hand, sliding her fingers over the top of her head and shaking back long blond hair. “I think I came back to face some things that I wasn’t able to face when I was a kid. I wanted to see if people had changed. If they would treat me differently.”
“And they have.”
Heather nodded again. “But I’m not sure if they’re treating me differently because we’re older, or if it’s just because I’m not an ugly duckling anymore. In either case, I wanted to show up just to say fuck you without actually saying the words.”
Jennifer laughed.
Heather shrugged. “Closure. That’s what I’m looking for.” She looked back at Jen and tipped her head. “What about you?”
“Closure is a good word.” Jen grew uncomfortable, not knowing what, or how much, to say. She glanced over at the ball field again, unable to meet Heather’s steady gaze. “The past haunts me sometimes. I think I was hoping to finally put it all behind me.” Her eyes touched Heather’s briefly. She grew embarrassed, wanting to say more, to better explain. Heather watched her steadily, silently urging her to continue. “I’m still trying to let it all go,” Jen finally sighed.
A reassuring smile crinkled Heather’s eyes. “That sounds familiar,” she said softly. “I’m discovering that letting go isn’t as easy as I’d hoped.”
“Ha. You too?” Jen’s voice held a note of bitterŹness.
Heather pulled her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs as her chin rested on one knee. “The question is,” she began, her voice almost teasing, “do you want to let go?”
Jennifer sobered, her eyes finding Sheila’s features as she sat in the stands, calling out encouragement to her husband. Images from that very morning floated to her mind. Fool. Fool. Fool. She shook her head as if to toss the memory aside. Heather was watching her, a serious frown pulling at the corner of her lips.
“It’s gotten a bit more complicated,” she began slowly. “But yes, I really do,” she finished with cerŹtainty.
“Then I hope you can.”
A chorus of cheers rose from the ball field, and their attention was drawn to the game as Bobby rounded second base and headed for third. Sheila was on her feet, calling out to her husband along with the other spectators. Bobby stepped on third base and then on to home plate before the ball even reached the infield.
As Jennifer watched the scene, she knew without looking that Sheila’s eyes were on her again. When she allowed herself to look toward the stands, Sheila’s smug expression greeted her. Heather took it all in, her eyes floating back and forth between the two women.
“Sheila.” Heather spoke the name aloud, and Jen found her attention swinging back to the woman beside her.
“Excuse me?”
“She’s who you want to let go of.” Her face colored lightly as she stared back at Jen’s slack jaw. “I suppose it’s none of my business. But I’m right, aren’t I?”
Jen stared at Heather incredulously before her face broke out in a grin. She began laughing at herself. The laughter continued until the pounding in her head reminded her of the headache that had only just begun to pass. Wincing, she gathered herself and leaned back against the tree once more.
“I must be the most incredibly naive person here.” She spoke to the branches of the tree before turning her attention back to Heather. “Does everyŹone here know about me and Sheila?”
Now it was Heather’s turn to grow embarrassed as she shifted uneasily. “Pretty much,” she shrugged. “If they were paying any attention.”
Jennifer’s jaw clenched as relief and anxiety battled. Relief finally won out. There was no need to pretend. “And you were paying attention?”
A smile crept onto Heather’s lips. “I was.” She hugged her knees to her chest. “Maybe you’ve forgotten. But we talked nearly every day in high school.”
“After practice. Of course I remember.”
“You were obsessed with her.”
Jen’s eyes narrowed at this information. “Was I?”
The blond head nodded. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t”
“No. Please. This is good for me to hear. My memory about some things is kind of clouded.” She battled the confusion she was feeling.
“I only found out last night that Sheila had married Bobby. Did you know?”
An image from Sheila’s wedding flashed in Jen’s mind, and the absurdity of the whole story struck her. “I was her maid of honor.” She nearly giggled.
Heather’s jaw dropped. “No. How could you?”
“I don’t know.” Jennifer shook her head. “Crazy, huh? It’s a long story.”
Heather regarded her closely. “And it’s a short weekend.”
Jen laughed. “Remind me to tell you about it when you and Amy come down to visit.” She said the words even though she didn’t believe for a moment that it would ever happen.
“I will.” Heather wrinkled her nose and stretched out her legs. “We should probably be going. It’s getting late.”
Jennifer agreed that it was, and slowly unwound her stiff body to stand. They walked toward the parkŹing lot slowly and companionably, continuing their conversation as they went. It didn’t occur to Jennifer that she should turn back and say good-bye to the others.
The drive back to Sally’s house was short. As they rounded the corner of her sister’s street, Jen found herself groping for something to say, something to solidify the closeness she was feeling.
“Thanks for fixing me up. And for the conversation,” she said awkwardly. “I enjoyed it.”
“Actually, I’m the one who needs to thank you,” Heather replied.
“For what?” Jen pointed out her sister’s house.
“For being so nice to me back in school.” Heather’s face grew hot as she pulled into the driveŹway. “For kicking the shit out of Danny Johnson back in grade school. For not calling me Tracks. For talking with me every day after practice.” She turned off the car’s engine but continued to stare straight ahead through the windshield.
Each word caused Jennifer’s heart to constrict a little more. She turned to face Heather, who conŹtinued to avert her eyes, her jaw clenching.
“You don’t have to thank me.” Jen reached out, lightly touching Heather’s elbow.
“Yes, I do.” Heather’s blue eyes were bright as they met hers. “It’s one of the reasons I came back. Closure, remember? I was hoping that you would be here. I wanted a chance to tell you that you made a difference in my life. You were my friend. So thank
you.”
Jennifer searched the other woman’s eyes, trying to think back and remember what impact they might have had on each other’s life. Day after day they had sat together on those bleachers. Day after day Jen had poured her heartaches out. But Heather had never spoken of her own. The realization came to Jennifer suddenly, and she felt ashamed.
“I didn’t do anything special.” She realized she still held Heather’s elbow, and she dropped her hand to her side.
“But that’s the point. You were just you.” Heather seemed to gather herself, gaining confidence. “And while I’m on a roll, I may as well take a hint from your sister and admit that I had the most incredible crush on you all through high school.” Her grin was wide and lopsided. “And I hated Sheila Hoyt.”
“Really?” Suddenly euphoric, Jen felt a silly smile emerge on her lips.
“Really.” Heather rolled her eyes. “And I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” She reached for the door handle. “Come on. My daughter’s waiting.”
“But this is just getting good,” Jen pouted, her voice teasing.
Heather raised one slim eyebrow. “Sure. Your body may be bruised, but your ego’s doing just fine, right?”
Suddenly enjoying herself, Jennifer raised an eyeŹbrow of her own and couldn’t control the grin that tugged at her lips.
With Heather’s help, Jen spent the next twenty minutes trying to explain to Sally just how she had received all the bruises and lacerations in the few hours they had been apart.
It wasn’t until after Heather and Amy had left that Sally followed her younger sister into her borŹrowed bedroom and began asking questions.
“Do you think he did it on purpose?”
“I don’t know.” The events of the day had begun to catch up with Jen, and it reflected on her feaŹtures. She looked tired as she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. “Probably,” she conceded. “He could have avoided me if he’d wanted to.”
Sally tucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she considered her sister. “Do you suppose he knows about this morning?”
Jennifer winced as she settled down on the bed. “Maybe. I don’t know. Why would Sheila tell him?”
“Why would she have invited you to that hotel room in the first place?” Sally countered. “She’s up to something. I don’t trust her for a minute.”
“You’re probably right.” Jen closed her eyes briefly. “I can’t believe I was so stupid this morning. Big mistake.”
A hint of an amused smile touched Sally’s lips. “I’m glad to see you’re coming to your senses, at least.”
“Better late than never?”
“Something like that.” Sally crossed her arms and settled down on the bed beside her sister, concern reŹsurfacing on her features. “Maybe you shouldn’t go tonight. You’re probably walking into trouble.”
“What? And miss the reunion?” She mocked. “Never.”
Sally slapped her sister’s leg playfully. “Very funny. But seriously, maybe you’d be better off not going. It may not be safe.”
Jennifer considered the idea, liking it for a brief moment. But a slow smile curved on her lips as she thought of Heather, and she dismissed the idea.
“What’s that grin all about?” Sally didn’t miss much.
“Heather.”
“I thought something might be going on.”
Jen’s grin widened. “She told me that she had a crush on me back in high school.”
“Really?” Sally’s enthusiasm was genuine.
“Thanks to you and your David Simmons story.”
“Glad I could help.” She tipped an imaginary hat before lifting an inquiring brow. “Is she a lesbian, then?”
Jen’s smile faded. “I don’t know. I guess I just assumed she is. I’m probably getting my hopes up for nothing.”