Claiming His Brother's Baby (8 page)

It’s wrong to want him...

But she didn’t move. Every part of her was attuned to Tanner in that moment. Her breasts were barely inches from his chest and she fought the urge to press closer, to feel his strong body, to run her hands down his shoulders and arms and lose herself in his kiss.

“Do you think I’d do it here?” His voice was little more than a husky whisper as he looked down into her upturned face. “Do you think I’d kiss you here...out in the open? Is that what you want?”

What she wanted was to drag him into the stable and tear off his clothes and make love with him. Mindless, hot sex that would satisfy the passionate hunger thrashing through her body.

“No...no...” she said, her denials trailing off as he moved a little closer.

There was almost nothing between them now. Barely a whisper of space.

“You’re sure?” he queried, his mouth against her ear.

Cassie felt his warm breath and her skin quickly turned to gooseflesh. No man had ever had such a profound sexual effect on her. Not Doug. Nor the one lover she’d had before him. This kind of thing didn’t happen to her. She was an ordinary woman having an extraordinary reaction to the most beautiful man on the planet. And she couldn’t control it. Couldn’t contain it. Couldn’t do anything other than stare into his dark brown eyes and wonder what his kiss would taste like, what his touch and complete possession would feel like.

And again, as if it had happened countless times before, she experienced a jolt of hazy recognition way down deep. As if...as if she’d known his kiss...his touch, in some long forgotten memory. In another life. Another time.

“We should get back to the house,” he said softly, unmoving.

He was right. Ruthie Nevelson would have a bird’s-eye view of them from her house. She was probably up there wondering what they were up to. They weren’t touching. Weren’t kissing. But she was pretty sure that from a distance it looked exactly as if they were.

“Yes,” she said finally and ducked past him. “Good idea.”

Her legs were still wobbly, but by the time she walked across the yard and reached the porch steps she’d regathered her composure and had stopped visibly shaking. She tapped on the door and waited for Ruthie’s invitation to enter. She’d never been inside the Nevelson farmhouse before. But it was big and filled with beautiful antique furnishings. Cassie followed the sound of the other woman’s voice and found her in the kitchen, with Oliver bouncing happily in her lap.

“He’s an adorable little boy,” Ruthie said when Cassie entered the room. “I can see why Tanner is so smitten.”

Ruthie’s brows were both up, as though there was a question in her words. Cassie did her best to ignore it. Imagining Tanner
smitten
or anything else wasn’t good for her peace of mind. And it confirmed her suspicions that Ruthie had seen them by the corral.

“He’s a good baby,” she said as casually as she could. “I feel very blessed.”

“You should,” Ruthie said and sighed. “Every child is a blessing. I never got to have any myself. But there’s no point wailing about what isn’t to be. Life’s too short for wailing, don’t you think?”

Cassie smiled. There was something incredibly likable about Ruthie Nevelson. It didn’t surprise her that Tanner was so fond of the older woman.

Tanner...

In between the
almost kiss
and learning about what Doug had done, she was more confused than ever. Thinking about Doug’s betrayal was mind-numbing. That he could be so callous, so inconsiderate and deceptive, chilled her to the bone. She felt deceived, too. By the man she’d believed she knew. By the man she’d believed she loved. Tanner had suggested she was simply warming Doug’s bed. Was that all she was to him? Had she put her blinkers on to avoid seeing that was
all
she was?

As hard as it was to admit, Cassie knew that a man who could steal from his younger brother in such a terrible way could easily fool a gullible and trusting woman into thinking he loved her.

“Yes,” she said and laughed softly. “There’s no point in wailing. No point at all.”

They heard a sound coming from the back and Ruthie got to her feet. “That’ll be Tanner. Got him working to keep his mind off things.”

“Things?” Cassie echoed.

“You know,” Ruthie said and grinned.
“Things.”

You...

That’s what the older woman meant. And Cassie wished she could work to take her mind off him, Doug and everything else. Not even Oliver could keep her thoughts on track.

“You know he’s a good man, don’t you?” Ruthie asked unexpectedly.

Cassie’s skin heated. “Yes, of course I—”

“Too good to be messed with,” Ruthie said and looked toward the back door. “You know what I mean. He got his heart broke a long time ago... I’d hate to see that happen again.”

Cassie stilled. Obviously Ruthie was referring to what Doug had done with his inheritance. And of course Tanner was hurt by his brother’s betrayal.

“I don’t see how it will,” she said and took Oliver into her arms. “He’s leaving in a few weeks and won’t be back for a while. If ever.”

Ruthie looked at the baby. “Oh, he’ll be back. His attachment to this little boy will keep him tied to Crystal Point.”

“I’d like Oliver to know his uncle.”

“Of course. You both have so little family it’s important to keep in touch.”

If it was a dig it was a soft one. And Cassie didn’t mind. Ruthie Nevelson was like a grandmother to Tanner and she knew her motives were borne out of caring. Ruthie changed the subject and asked about her grandfather.

“He’s not doing so well,” she explained, remembering that Ruthie had known her granddad for many years. “I go and see him every week and sometimes he knows me and other times he doesn’t.”

Ruthie nodded. “It was good of Neville to take you in when your folks passed away. Especially when he was grieving the loss of his only son. I believe your grandmother had died only a year earlier.”

“That’s right. Gran had a seizure and died unexpectedly. Then my parents...” Her words trailed for a moment. “He was strong back then. And kind. He made a home for me and did his best. But I know the end is coming and as much as I’m prepared for it, I can’t quite believe that once he’s gone there’ll only be Oliver and myself left in my family.”

“Then you should get married and have a whole bunch of kids,” Ruthie suggested. “I keep telling Tanner the same thing. Let this lonely old woman be a lesson to you.” She gestured to their surroundings. “No point in having all this if you’ve no one to leave it to.”

Marriage? More children? It was a lovely dream. “You’re right. And I will.” She smiled. “I promise.”

“Watch making promises to Ruthie,” a deep voice said from the doorway. “She’ll hold you to them.”

Ruthie guffawed and the sound made Cassie smile. Tanner stepped into the room and dropped his hat on the counter. Oliver squealed delightedly when he recognized him.

“Hey, little man,” Tanner said and reached for him immediately. “Come here.”

“See,” Cassie complained lightheartedly. “I’m forgotten once he claps eyes on his favorite uncle.”

Oliver was so happy to see Tanner it made her heart ache. And she was glad her son had someone else to love and protect him.

The only thing was, she wished she had someone like that, too.

“I’ll make coffee and we’ll go and sit in the front room.”

“I really can’t stay,” Cassie said. “I have to—”

“Nonsense,” Ruthie scolded gently. “I’d like to get to know Oliver a little better. And it’s Saturday... What’s more important than spending time with family on the weekend?”

She had a point. Even if thinking of Ruthie as family was a stretch. But she was family to Tanner, so Cassie wasn’t about to argue the point. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Good,” Ruthie said and pulled a tray down from a cupboard. “You two go on ahead and I’ll bring it in.”

Tanner was grinning, as if he knew exactly how it was to deny Ruthie Nevelson anything and not get your own way. He carried Oliver down the hallway and into the front living room. Cassie followed and stilled when she reached the doorway. The silky oak furniture and tapestries were magnificent and she let out a sigh.

“This is such a beautiful house.”

Tanner was by the fireplace. “It became a home to me after my parents died.”

Cassie crossed her arms. “We really did have similar childhoods. I mean, I know you were sent away to school, but you had a strong role model in Ruthie, like I did with my grandfather. Did you know our birthdays are only four days apart? I remember Doug telling me that a long time ago. We’ll both be thirty-one next month.”

He didn’t say anything. He didn’t move other than to gently rub the back of Oliver’s head. Cassie looked at him and felt the heat in his stare.

It certainly hasn’t been easy being attracted to you...

His words swirled around in her head. His confession should have sent her running. But she was inexplicably drawn to him. Like air to lungs. Like water to sand. Tanner McCord had awakened her sleeping libido with a resounding thud.

“How’s your cheek?” she asked quietly.

“I’ll live.”

“I’ve never hit anyone before,” she admitted. “You know, no siblings to wrestle with...no fights in the playground. That was my first slug.”

“It was a good one.”

She smiled and moved into the room. “Did you and Doug fight much?”

“No,” he replied. “I guess the age difference made it hard to have the usual brother-on-brother wrestling matches. I did break his nose when I was eighteen, though.”

Her eyes widened and she recalled Doug’s slightly crooked nose. “On purpose?”

“Yeah. He hammered me afterward, but I still managed to get one good punch in.”

Cassie grinned. “Well, I’m sure you had your reasons, considering the history.”

He rocked Oliver gently in his arms and Cassie’s heart wrenched seeing them together. He’d make such a good dad one day. She almost told him so, but stopped herself. There was enough tension between them without him mistakenly thinking she was lining him up as a candidate to be Oliver’s father.

Which I’m not.

She shrugged and started looking at the rows of photographs above the fireplace and another row on the sideboard. There were pictures of Ruthie and her husband. Snapshots of horses and dogs and cattle. And there were some of Tanner, too. One from when he was at school and a few she recognized from the albums Doug had kept. A photo at the back caught her attention. It was obviously Tanner as a teenager, all rangy shoulders and long legs, wearing a plaid shirt and jeans and a cowboy hat. He stood beside a horse, a tall, pale coffee-colored animal that somehow tripped a wire in her brain. And a memory.

I know that horse...

I know that boy...

And then, like a speedy camera rolling out in reverse, realization hit.

The beach. The horse. The boy.

The kiss...

Cassie snapped her head around and stared at him. His dark eyes narrowed just a fraction, enough for her to read the truth in them. He knew. He’d known all along.

“Oh, my God...that was you?” Her head reeled, her heart pounded. “That day on the beach...when we were young...you were the boy I...”

It made perfect, impossible sense. There had always been something familiar about Tanner. A kind of hazy awareness she couldn’t decipher. Now she knew why. He
was
familiar. He was
that
boy. She looked at her son, so happy and content in Tanner’s arms. Resentment flared and she quickly moved across the room and took her baby from his arms.

“I have to get out of here,” she said and took a step toward the door.

He grasped her arm. “Cassie, wait—”

“Don’t you get it?” she said, pulling free. “Every time I’ve been around you, I’ve always had this...feeling. This sense that I
know
you. It’s twisted at my insides since that first time you came to visit Doug. I thought... I thought that I was just so attracted to you it made me imagine things. And I felt such guilt because I was with Doug and I shouldn’t have been thinking that about someone else in that way...in
any
way. But it wasn’t that at all. It was the memory of some silly schoolgirl infatuation when I was thirteen. It was some romantic fantasy I’d created in my head about being swept off my feet. And it stayed with me all my life. Even when I was with Doug,
especially
when I was with Doug, I was always comparing it to that feeling...that
fleeting
feeling I had when I was this lonely, love-struck thirteen-year-old crushing on the guy who kissed me for the very first time.”

Within minutes she was out the room, out the door and in her car.

And driving away from the boy who’d captured her heart and the one man who had the power to break it.

Chapter Eight

L
ate on Sunday afternoon Lauren and Mary-Jayne arrived with pizza and sweet wine for their regular monthly get-together. Since Lauren’s engagement and Oliver’s birth they didn’t catch up as often as they used to. However, they always made the most of their Sunday catch-up. It was over her first glass of wine and second slice of pizza that she told them about Tanner.

“That was him?” Lauren asked incredulously, eyes popping. “The boy on the beach?”

“Yeah...that was Tanner.”

M.J. let out a long whistle. “What a tangled web we weave. Who would have thought that your first love would end up being
the jerk’s
baby brother?”

“It wasn’t love,” Cassie corrected, ignoring the gibe about Doug. “We were kids and I only met him twice. And it was just a kiss.”

“A kiss you’ve never forgotten,” Lauren reminded her.

Cassie shrugged. “Every girl remembers her first kiss.”

“Yeah,” M.J. said and laughed. “But most of us would rather forget it. If I could erase the memory of Bobby Milton and his sweaty top lip I would do it gladly.”

M.J. pretended to gag and they all giggled like teenagers. It felt so good to be with her friends. They shared a bond that had lasted decades. They’d rallied around her when Doug had been killed and then when Oliver was born. And she needed their support now, more than ever.

“So, are you going to kiss him again?” M.J. asked bluntly.

Cassie almost spat out her drink. “Of course not.”

“Why not?” Lauren said. “He seems very nice and he’s clearly interested in you.”

“Because there’s no point,” she said quickly. “He’s going back to South Dakota in a few weeks and the only thing I have time for is finding a new home for me and my son.”

“A lot can happen in a few weeks,” Lauren said and smiled. “Take it from me. It only took me that long to fall in love with Gabe.”

“That was different,” she said, holding on to her impatience. “Since you were looking for a relationship and I’m not. All I want is to find a home where I can live and raise my child. Do I like Tanner? Yes. Is he gorgeous and sexy and wonderful with Oliver? Yes. Do I think there’s a future there? No. He’s Doug’s brother and that’s simply too big a complication.”

“Who are you trying to convince?” M.J. asked with a raised brow. “Us or yourself?”

Cassie ate some pizza and ignored her friend’s gibe. They’d support her regardless. That was the way of best friends. “I know what I’m doing,” she said.

But didn’t believe it for a minute.

*

On Monday morning Tanner arrived at the house at nine o’clock with a painting contractor. The two men walked around the house discussing walls and ceilings and which rooms needed doing while Cassie remained in the kitchen with Oliver and felt like a spare part.

It’s not my house... Remember that.

When the contractor left Tanner came into the kitchen and stood on the other side of the counter. “He’ll be back on Wednesday morning. I thought we’d start in the bedrooms and work from the rear of the house.”

“We?” she queried and sank her hands into the sinkful of soapy water. “There’s not a whole lot of
we
in this, Tanner. It’s your house, not mine. All I do is pay the rent and utilities. Which I’ll continue to do until I find somewhere else to live. Paint whatever rooms you like, it makes no difference to me. I’ll be out of here soon enough.”

“You can stay until it sells.”

“I’d prefer to leave as soon as I can.”

“You mean you’d prefer to be stubborn and provocative.”

She glared at him. “I’m not stubborn. And I’m definitely not provocative.”

“Oh, yeah,” he said and rested his hands on the counter. “You are.”

“And you have an arrogant streak a mile wide,” she yelled. “Contrary to what you might believe, you don’t know what’s best for me and Oliver. So back off.”

He laughed loudly. “Why are you so mad at me? I’m only trying to help.”

“Help someone else. I don’t need or want anything from you.”

“Where’s all this resentment coming from, Cassie?” he inquired, laughter still lingering in his eyes. “I thought we were friends.”

Cassie pulled her hands from the sink, dried them quickly, then slammed them onto her hips. “You’ve got some nerve, you know that? After what happened the other day I’d think you would be—”

“So we made out when we were kids,” he interrupted. “It’s no big deal.”

“No big deal?” she echoed. “Are you kidding? It’s a huge deal. You knew. All along you knew and you didn’t say anything.”

He shrugged. “There was no point. And it was hardly a subject to broach when Doug was alive. We shared a kiss, Cassie. A long time ago. A lifetime ago. Forget about it.”

She wished she could. “What about the other thing?”

“What other thing?”

Cassie inhaled, steadying her nerve. “You said you were attracted to me and—”

“So I’m attracted to you,” he said quietly. “Stop overthinking it.”

“I can’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “And I can’t believe you think it’s okay and can dismiss it so easily.”

“Did I say that?” he asked. “Did I once say it was okay? For the record—nothing is easy when it comes to you.” He took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m attracted to you. Yes, I want to take you to bed and make love to you.”

He heart stalled. “But—”

“But I know I can never do that because you love my brother.”

Doug...

Had she spared him a thought since she’d seen Tanner on Saturday? Her feelings for Doug were so conflicted. And the more she knew Tanner the less she felt she knew Doug.

“I don’t think... I mean, we’d be crazy to start something,” she whispered. “And now that I have Oliver I can’t afford to act crazy.”

“I agree,” he said flatly. “Forget it, like I said. I’ll be gone in a few weeks and then you can get on with the rest of your life.”

Sure. No problem.

And she knew he believed that about as much as she did.

*

Midweek Tanner took a call from the foreman at his ranch and discussed the new horses that were coming in over the next two months. His leg still hurt and he intended getting back to physical therapy when he returned home, but working with Ruthie’s colt had confirmed that he was ready to get back in the saddle.

And it made him miss home. His ranch in Cedar Creek was as much a part of him as Crystal Point had been when he was young, and being in the small town had brought back a whole lot of memories. Some good. Some not. Hanging out with Ruthie was a bonus. So was spending time with his nephew. Oliver had quickly worked his way into his heart and Tanner knew he was going to miss the little guy when he returned to South Dakota.

And then there was Cassie...

She’d gotten into his heart, too, and he was trying his damnedest to get her out.

Her home was being sold and she had put on a brave face...but he wasn’t fooled. And he felt a ton of guilt because of it. While the contractor worked on the house she kept insisting she was fine. While painters and yard maintenance workers came and went she was on hand making iced tea and obligingly moving belongings from one room to the next. And he still wasn’t fooled. She could act as tough and indifferent as she wanted; Tanner knew that underneath she was barely hanging on.

“You know,” she said on Friday afternoon as they inspected the paintwork in the third bedroom. “You’re really lousy at choosing colors. What is that feature wall color...mission brown?”

“Donkey,” he replied and shrugged. “And I did ask you to come with me and choose the palette.”

Her mouth drew together tightly and she raised one shoulder. “Not my business.”

“Well, if the house doesn’t go under the hammer because I’m a little color-blind and you weren’t charitable enough to help out, then it’s on your head.”

She sniffed. “Color-blind? You mean you have imperfections? I don’t believe it.”

“I’m as imperfect as the next guy.”

“Nice to know.” She walked around the room. “I think this needs to be done again,” she said as she inspected the longest wall. “To something lighter. It’s like a big brown tomb in here.”

Tanner grabbed a swatch palette from a bucket near the door and pulled his wallet from his back pocket. He took out a credit card and held it toward her along with the swatches. “It’s in your hands, then.”

She looked at the card and frowned. “You’re giving me your credit card?”

“Giving?” he echoed. “No. Loaning...sure.”

She took both and looked at him oddly. “Doug never...”

“Does everything have to be about Doug?” he growled irritably.

“No, of course not,” she said quickly. “It’s only that he would never have trusted me to...” She stopped and looked at him. “It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”

“Yeah, forget I said anything, too... I didn’t mean to snap at you. Now go and spend some money.”

She smiled. “I’ll try not to do anything too irresponsible with it.”

“I’ll bet you haven’t had an irresponsible moment in your life.”

She laughed lightly. “Probably. However, I may be responsible, but according to some I am stubborn.”

“And provocative,” he reminded her.

She grinned, pushing the card into the pocket of her jeans as she clasped the swatches under one arm. “I’m sorry I haven’t been much help this week. I know I’d promised I would be. It’s just...”

“Too hard?” he prompted. “Too real? I get it, Cassie. I understand how difficult this must be for you.”

She sucked in a breath. “Would you stop that,” she snapped.

“Stop what?”

“Being so bloody understanding,” she replied hotly. “About the house, about Doug...about
everything
. It drives me crazy.”

“I drive you crazy?”

“It,” she corrected. “
It
drives me crazy. You...well, you do...other stuff.”

Tanner laughed. It was the most lighthearted conversation they’d had all week. And he’d missed it.
A little harmless flirting is okay.
“What kind of stuff?”

“Like I’d admit to anything.” She tapped her back pocket. “Can you watch Oliver for an hour or so? I’ve got shopping to do.”

“Absolutely.”

“I’ll grab dinner while I’m out,” she said and then stilled. “I mean, if you’d like to stay.”

“I would.”

She nodded and quickly left the room. While she was gone he fed and bathed Oliver and had him well-settled in his crib by the time her car pulled up in the driveway. She bought paint and Chinese food. He put the paint in the spare room and they ate dinner from the cartons in the living room.

“You’re something of an expert with those chopsticks,” she remarked as she dipped into a carton for a chicken dumpling with a fork.

“I spent some time traveling through Vietnam and Cambodia before I went to Europe when I was young. So I picked up a few tips.”

“I envy you,” she said and sat back on the sofa, cross-legged. “I’ve never traveled. I’ve never been anywhere, really.”

“Nothing wrong with being happy where you are.”

“Happy or complacent?” She sighed. “I’m not sure I’d know the difference.”

“You’d know,” he assured her. “And as much as I enjoyed traveling, I was keen to put down roots when I reached South Dakota.”

“Tell me about your ranch?”

“It’s small by local standards,” he said and drank some soda. “But the grazing is good for horses. The homestead is way too big for one, though.”

“But one day you’ll get married and have a family...so big will come in handy.”

“I guess. One day.”

“Have you ever been close?” she asked.

“To getting married? No.”

She smiled a little. “Why not? You’d be something of a catch, I would think.”

Tanner laughed. “I think... I think it’s because I don’t want to settle...if that makes sense. I remember my parents had a very strong relationship, grounded in friendship but also passionate. So I guess that’s what I’m hoping for, too.”

She sighed heavily. “Soul mates, you mean. Yeah, it’s a nice dream.”

“You don’t believe in soul mates?”

“I do... I just don’t know how many actually end up together. Although my friends Lauren and Gabe managed to find one another. So perhaps there’s hope for us all.”

“And you and Doug?”

She met his gaze. “I think you know the answer to that.”

“He did love you,” Tanner said quietly, absorbing her features in the lamplight. “In his own way. As much as he could love anyone.”

She shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter much anymore. I have Oliver and I will always be thankful to Doug for that.”

Tanner heard the rawness in her voice and winced. “He was never the settle-down type, that’s all. After our parents died all he wanted to do was leave Crystal Point for good.”

“And that’s when he sold your family farm, dumped you in boarding school and then a few years later squandered your inheritance?” Her brows came up. “What did he actually do with the money?”

“Some poor stock market decisions saw off most of it. A bit of gambling. I believe he bought a Porsche and crashed it.” Tanner grinned and raised the chopsticks. “You know, the usual stuff. I was surprised when he bought this house...seemed way too sensible.”

“And me?” she asked softly. “Were you surprised about me?”

Tanner dropped the chopsticks into the carton and placed it on the coffee table. Then he sat back, linked his fingers together and rested his hands on his stomach. “That he would want you? Not at all. As far as I know you’re the first woman he actually attempted to settle down with. But he was a strange contradiction. In the military he was one kind of man, and out of it he was kind of lost.”

“You’re very forgiving.”

Tanner shook his head. “I’m not forgiving at all. But if I hang on to my resentment, then he wins. Bitterness is a wasted emotion. I’d rather look for—”

“Love?” she asked, quietly cutting off his words.

Tanner stilled. The way she said it. The way the word hung in the air between them made his gut churn. He didn’t want to talk to her about love. Not when his heart was in the firing line. “Aren’t we all?” he queried vaguely.

“I guess. Some more than others.”

He got to his feet. “I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”