Claiming His Brother's Baby (10 page)

Then they let her see him. She touched his forehead and told him she loved him. She thanked him for being a loving, caring grandparent and hoped in some way he heard and understood her words.

After a while, with her emotions at breaking point, she got up and headed out to the waiting room. She was still sitting there at eight o’clock. Still there as other worried relatives, other families, came and went. Still there as nurses changed shifts. And still there when a tall, jeans-clad figure came into the room and sat down beside her. She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. But a welcome relief washed over her the moment Tanner reached out and grasped her hand, enfolding it within his.

“How did you—”

“I spoke to Lauren,” he explained softly. “She told me you were here.”

Cassie nodded and heat prickled behind her eyes. “I’m so sick and tired of death,” she said, her throat thick. “I mean, I knew this day was coming. In my mind I’ve been prepared for it in a hundred ways. But right now, right here, all I can think is how I’m so tired of losing the people I love. I’m tired of loss and grief. Every time I lose someone I feel my world getting smaller...because I’m just that little bit more alone.”

He squeezed her hand and she experienced a connection deep down. “You’re not alone.”

For now...

But she didn’t say it. All she could do was remember their kiss. Remember how she’d felt in his arms.

Complete...

That’s how he made her feel. In a way no man ever had before. Not even Doug. Cassie dropped her head to his shoulder and closed her eyes. He was strong, a rock, a haven for her fragile heart when she needed comfort and understanding. And he knew it. Their connection was deep, borne out of sharing a similar road in life. They could, she suspected, become the firmest of friends. And lovers. And more.

And it terrified her.

Cassie believed she’d loved Doug. He’d turned up in her life at a time she’d been vulnerable and alone, and for a while he’d made her feel as if she was part of something. A couple. A family. But deep in her heart she’d never felt truly cherished. Yet she hadn’t questioned his commitment, even as he drifted back and forth into her life during the brief years they were together. She accepted it. Blindly. Foolishly. Because she’d never truly believed she deserved more from him...or from anyone.

Knowing what Doug was really like had changed that. She
did
deserve more. Only, she was too scared to trust what her heart and body yearned for.

When the doctor returned half an hour later and told them her grandfather had passed away, Cassie gripped Tanner’s hand as hard as she could. He sat with her for a while and then later he drove her car back to Crystal Point and left his rental in the hospital car park. They stopped by Lauren’s and Cassie remained in the car while Tanner collected her son. Lauren didn’t come out and Cassie was grateful. She didn’t need sympathy. She didn’t want hugs and kind words. She wanted the comfort of silence. And the strength of broad shoulders that she knew instinctively would be there if she needed them.

Tanner didn’t say a word on the drive home, nor when he took a sleeping Oliver from the backseat and followed her wordlessly up the path and then inside. He put Oliver to bed and found her on the sofa in the living room, hands tucked in her lap.

“The baby’s asleep,” he said. “You should get some rest, too... You’ll have a hard day tomorrow.”

She knew that. There were plans to be made. A funeral to arrange. Her grandfather’s things to collect from the nursing home. Cassie nodded and stood as a lethargic numbness crept over her skin and seeped into her blood.

“Thank you for being with me tonight.”

He didn’t move from his spot by the door. “Go and sleep. I’ll tend to the baby when he wakes during the night.”

“I can’t ask you to—”

“You’re not,” he said, cutting her off. “Go to bed, Cassie. I’ll see you in the morning.”

She stood and walked toward him, all her emotional strength zapped and with no energy to disagree. “Okay. Thanks.”

He reached out and held the back of her neck for a moment, rubbing her skin with his thumb. Then he softly kissed her forehead. “Good night.”

Cassie walked down the hallway to her bedroom, closed the door and dropped onto the bed. She tried to cry. She tried to weep away the pain in her heart. But no tears came.

*

Neville Duncan’s funeral was a somber affair. Around one hundred and fifty people turned up for the service and most stayed for the wake held underneath a canopy in the gardens of the chapel at the cemetery. Cassie was stoic the entire afternoon and Tanner kept a close and watchful eye over her as she politely thanked her grandfather’s friends for coming.

Once the wake was over about twenty of her friends and some colleagues from work came back to the house, where Lauren’s mother had arranged for a catered meal for another, more intimate gathering. Tanner kept Oliver in his arms for most of the day and was feeding the baby in the kitchen when Ruthie spoke from the doorway.

“He’s very attached to you.”

Tanner looked up and smiled. “It’s mutual.”

Ruthie came into the room and rested her hands on the back of a chair. “You plannin’ on sticking around longer than you’d thought?”

“Not at this stage. The house is on the market, so we’ll see what happens.”

Her gaze flicked to Oliver. “It’s gonna be hard for you to leave. I mean, now you’ve got something to stay for.”

He rocked Oliver gently. “I’ll come back to see him when I can.”

Ruthie cocked her head to one side. “That’s not exactly what I meant. You still aiming to get your heart broken again?”

“Not a chance.”

“Good,” she said and smiled. “Now, get back to South Dakota, find yourself a wife and make a couple of these,” Ruthie said and pointed to the baby. “Because this daddy stuff really suits you.”

Tanner laughed softly. Ruthie had a way of cheering him up. And she was right. He loved hanging out with Oliver and being around him only confirmed what he’d begun to suspect—he was ready for his own family. After Ruthie left he put the baby in his crib and walked back into the front living room. There were only a few people remaining—Lauren and her fiancé, Gabe, M.J. and two older couples he remembered were Lauren’s and M.J.’s parents. Cassie was by the window, sitting alone, her gaze focused on the teacup in her hand. He walked across the room and perched on the stool next to her.

“You okay?”

She looked up. “Sure.”

“Oliver’s in his crib, sleeping soundly.”

She nodded. “Thank you for looking after him. It’s been a busy day for him.”

“He’s handled it. He’s tough...like his mom.”

Her brows came up. “I’m not so tough. This is just my disguise.”

Tanner glanced around the room. “Well, I don’t think anyone has figured that out. And your secret is safe with me.”

She leaned closer. “I wish...” Her whisper faded for a second. “I wish everyone would leave.”

Tanner moved forward. “I’m not sure being alone is the—”

“I won’t be alone,” she said, interrupting him. “I have Oliver.” She stopped and met his gaze. “And you.”

Tanner’s stomach clenched. All day she’d held it together, as he’d known she would. She’d spoken at the service, giving a short eulogy for her grandfather, and he’d marveled at her strength and resilience in the face of her grief. But he knew she was lost inside. He knew her heart was broken. And he wished he could fix her. He wished he could ease the pain in her heart and offer comfort. When all he could do, he knew, was simply be a friend. He couldn’t hold her. He couldn’t take her in his arms and stroke her skin and kiss her lips and help her forget her troubles.

It was another half an hour and nearly seven o’clock before the last guests left. By then he could see she was almost at the breaking point. Her back was ramrod straight, her arms clasped tightly around her waist and her eyes shadowed with a heavy, inconsolable pain.

Once the front door was closed and she’d waved off her friends she joined him in the kitchen, where he was stacking the dishwasher to keep his hands busy and his mind off taking her in his arms.

“Well,” Cassie said with a weary sigh as she came around the counter. “I’m glad that’s over.”

“It’s been a hard day. But I know your grandfather would have been very proud of you.”

“I hope so.”

He shut the dishwasher and straightened. “Do you need anything? Lauren’s mother stored the leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry.”

“I don’t think my stomach would tolerate food at the moment.”

“You should eat something.”

“I can’t...”

Her body shook slightly and as she gripped the back of a chair for support, Tanner raced around the counter and reached her in a few long strides.

“Cassie?”

She looked up and the tears in her eyes tore through him. “I feel so...”

“I know,” he said and gathered her close. “I know, sweetheart.”

She sighed heavily and pressed her face into his chest. And then she cried. Heavy, racking sobs that made him ache inside. Tanner cradled her head and held her, feeling her despair through to his bones. It was several minutes before she moved, and when he felt her resistance Tanner released her and she stepped back unsteadily.

“I’m sorry,” she said with a hiccup as she wiped her cheeks. “I promised myself I wouldn’t do that today.”

“You’re allowed to grieve, Cassie.”

She shook her head. “That’s just it...I’m tired of grieving. I grieved my parents and then Doug and now...this. I can’t do it. I can’t bear the hollow feeling and the sadness. It’s too hard and it’s not what I want.”

“Then what do you want?”

She raised her chin. “I want to stop living my life like I’m all out of backbone.”

“That’s not what—”

“It is,” she insisted, her voice filled with raw emotion. “It’s what I’ve always done. I always take the safe road. I’ve never been anywhere. I’ve never been on an airplane or hiked a mountain or bungee jumped off a ledge. I never challenge anything or anyone. I never say what I really want to say. I always comply. And I never have the courage to say what, or when, or who. All my adult life I’ve put up with people walking over me, with being overlooked in my work, with my boyfriend taking me for granted...and I’ve had enough. I want more... I want...”

“You want what?”

Her blue eyes glittered brilliantly. “I want... I want you.”

Chapter Ten

I
t wasn’t what she’d expected to say. Or planned. But she was so weary from saying and doing what was expected. In that moment, while he watched her with such profound, heated intensity, Cassie knew exactly what she wanted for the first time in her life. And who. Even if it was simply for one night.

“Cassie, I—”

“Don’t say no to me,” she implored. “Not tonight.”

He didn’t move. He looked startled. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do,” she insisted. “I know exactly. Days ago you said you wanted to make love to me.”

“And days ago you said it would be a mistake.”

He was right. She had said that. Out of fear. And guilt. And some crazy notion that he wanted her out of some kind of cruel revenge. But Tanner wasn’t that kind of man. She knew that deep in her heart. “I was wrong to say that to you. It’s not what I think. What I feel.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Sex isn’t the answer to erase the pain you’re feeling, Cassie. All it will do is confuse us both.”

“Maybe I want to be confused,” she said and took a step closer, thinking how handsome he looked in his dark suit and tie. “Maybe I want to stop doing what I think I
should
and do what I
want
for a change. And maybe I want to feel something other than grief and sadness. I want to feel heat and sweat and pleasure and—”

“And you’ll regret it in the morning,” he said, cutting her off.

“So, I’ll regret it,” she said and shrugged. “I don’t care. Isn’t it obvious that’s exactly my point, Tanner—I don’t regret
anything
,” she said hotly. “Because I’ve never done anything to regret. I always take the easy road. I do the right thing. I keep out of trouble. I keep myself protected from really feeling anything.”

“Until Doug?”

“Including Doug,” she replied. “He was no risk. Because he was never
here
. And even when he was, he always seemed far away and distracted and so completely out of reach. So that made him safe for me, don’t you see? It made him easy to be with. My expectations were low and that’s all I got.”

“You loved him?”

“Yes,” she said, and felt so much heat and tension emanating from the man in front of her it was as if a fire had been lit in the room. “Maybe I did. Or maybe I thought I did. Or maybe there’s no such thing as love and there’s just this...” She stopped and moved in front of him. “Just crazy chemistry and attraction. Just sex.”

“Nothing’s that simple,” he said and swayed toward her.

“Then let’s make it simple,” she said and placed her palm on his chest. “Stay with me and make love to me tonight.”

He moaned as if the idea gave him pain, and for a second she thought he was going to turn away. But he didn’t. He reached for her and hauled her against his body, gently fisting a handful of her hair as he tilted her head back.

“And tomorrow?” he asked, his mouth hovering above hers. “What then?”

“I don’t want to think about tomorrow. Only now. Only how I want to be with you tonight, without ghosts or pretense between us.”

He nodded fractionally and kissed her with such intense passion she almost fainted. When he lifted his mouth from hers she was gasping for breath and so aroused her head was spinning. She pulled back and put space between them, taking in deep gulps of air, her mouth tingling from the heat and passion in his kiss.

She’d never been sexy. She’d never considered herself seductive in any shape or form. And she’d never openly offered herself to anyone in her life. But she’d never wanted a man the way she wanted Tanner, either.

“Cassie...I think—”

“Don’t think,” she said on a rasp of hot breath. “Don’t think about anything except this moment. I don’t care about tomorrow and I don’t care what this means. Because maybe it doesn’t mean anything...maybe it’s just about two people who want each other right now.” She walked toward the door and looked over her shoulder. “No ghosts,” she whispered and then walked down the hallway.

*

Tanner had imagined and dreamed about being with Cassie more times than he dared count. And in none of those dreams had he let himself believe she’d look at him with such burning, raw desire. She was so incredibly beautiful that he was literally lost for words. Watching her hips sway and the seductive turn of her shoulder as she invited him into her bed was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen in his life.

By the time he’d forced some life into his legs she had disappeared down the hallway. When he reached her bedroom door she was standing at the end of the bed, her eyes clearly saying she was waiting for him. A couple of lit candles flicked shadows on the walls, creating a mood of tempting intimacy.

“No ghosts,” she said again, as though she was confirming it one last time.

And Tanner knew there was no wall between them. In that moment, there was only the two of them, together, alone in her bedroom.

But knowing what was about to happen, he gathered his good sense for a second. “Cassie, I’m not exactly prepared for this.”

She immediately understood what he meant and walked around the bed. She opened the bedside drawer and extracted a small box. “I am,” she said, suddenly all brazen confidence. She dropped a condom on the pillow and moved back around the bed.

She was setting the pace and for the moment he didn’t mind one bit.

One hand clasped the top of the coat-style black dress she wore and she began to unclip the buttons with excruciating, seductive slowness. Mesmerized, Tanner stayed by the door and watched, wholly aroused as she popped one button, and then the next, and the next, until the dress was opened right down the front. She shrugged and slipped the garment off her shoulders and it dropped to the floor. The smoothness of her creamy skin was highlighted by the dark contrast of the black bra and briefs she wore, and Tanner clenched his fists to pump some blood back into his hands and heart before he passed out.

The dips and curves of her body were mesmerizing. Her full breasts rounded over the low-cut bra in pure temptation. She twisted her hands behind her back and unclipped her bra. Her breasts fell forward, rosy-tipped and beautiful, and he fought the urge to race forward and take her in a rush of heat and desire. He looked at her breasts and his palms burned with an aching need to touch her. Cassie gave a little smile, as if she knew exactly how enticing she was. She hooked her thumbs into her briefs and pushed them over her hips and past her knees and feet.

There was something ethereally beautiful about her and in all his life he’d never forget how she looked standing naked in front of him—like an entrancing mix of temptation and haunting vulnerability. He wanted to say something. He wanted to tell her how lovely she was and declare every ounce of feeling he had for her. But no words came out. He could only watch, enthralled and aroused, as she met his gaze and smiled.

“Let’s have a shower first,” she said and backed up until she reached the door of the en suite bathroom.

A shower? Tanner wasn’t sure he’d make it. He looked at her, wanting her in ways he hadn’t imagined he’d ever want anyone.

But he took about two seconds to ditch his clothes and join her.

She was backed up against the wall and water sluiced over her skin. He hauled her close, kissing her hungrily. She kissed him back and clung to his shoulders. The warm water created an erotic slide between them and he wondered vaguely how he’d ever shower again without imagining, without wanting Cassie pressed against him.

She said his name low in her throat and Tanner eased back. She looked up and smiled as she grabbed the soap, put a little space between them and slowly worked the bar over his chest in small circles into a foamy lather. Tanner dropped his arms to his sides and clenched his fists. He’d let her have her way for the moment. Besides, with all the blood rushing to one part of his body he actually wondered if he might really pass out. She toyed with his nipples for a second and smiled.

“You’re smiling?”

She met his gaze. “You make me smile. You make me...”

“What?” he prompted, then took the soap from her hand and dropped it back into the dish.

“Confident,” she admitted huskily. “Unafraid.”

“I’m glad. And you are those things, Cassie. You’re strong and beautiful and smart.”

She sighed, and the sound echoed through his chest. Then he kissed her, hotly, hungrily, taking her tongue in an erotic dance. She kissed him back. He kissed her again. Back and forth, taking and giving.

“Cassandra,” he muttered against her lips. “Let’s get out of here.”

She nodded and he switched off the water. They were out of the shower in seconds and dried off just as quickly. By the time they tumbled onto the bed Tanner had captured her mouth again and kissed her long and deep. She lay down and he moved to her side. He ran his fingertips over her hip and waist before gently grazing his knuckles against one erect nipple. She moaned and raised her mouth to his again, kissing him sweetly. Tanner cupped her breasts, first one, and then the other, before he replaced his hands with his mouth. Cassie arched back on the bed as he rolled his tongue across the tender flesh.

They kissed and touched, fuelling the heat swirling between them. Each stroke was hotter than the one before, each kiss deeper. Every sigh she gave made Tanner want to love her more, need her more, as if he needed air in his lungs.

Her hands were over his chest, his ribs and his waist. There was nothing shy about her touch. When she reached lower and touched him where he ached to be touched, Tanner thought he might pass out. He ran his hands along her skin, finding the place where she was wet and ready for him, and slowly caressed her, finding a gentle rhythm that made her moan encouragingly. Tanner watched her come apart in his arms and felt her pleasure across his skin and through his blood.

“Now,” she whispered breathlessly against his mouth and linked her leg through his. “Please.”

Tanner speedily retrieved the condom from the pillow. She took it and sheathed him quickly. And when finally he was inside her, looking down into her beautiful face, he could think only one thing.

I’m home...

*

Cassie knew making love with Tanner would be extraordinary. She knew his touch would drive her wild. But she hadn’t expected that his possession would consume her mind, her body and her heart. He rested his weight on his arms as they moved together and she was eased into a rhythm that created a heady sensation of narcotic pleasure that pulsed through her blood. With each smooth stroke she was drawn higher. With each kiss she was pushed toward the edge. She touched his shoulders, his arms, his back. She pressed her palms and fingers into his skin to get closer, to feel every inch of him against her. As their kisses grew more urgent, heat spread through her body like wildfire. Cassie felt Tanner tense above her and she instinctively wrapped her legs around him, drawing him closer, wanting him deeper, until they were both taken by a rush of white-hot, incandescent pleasure that left her breathless and more connected to him than she’d ever been to another person in her whole life.

When he rolled onto his back, drawing deep breaths into his lungs, Cassie felt the loss of his skin against hers as if she’d lost part of herself. He grabbed her hand and gently kissed her knuckles.

“Be back in a minute,” he said. He got up and disappeared into the bathroom.

Cassie stretched and sighed. She’d never made love with such passion. Never been so in tune with a lover that it was as though they had been together in another life. Somehow, he knew her. He knew where to touch, where to stroke, where to kiss with a kind of instinctual, soul-reaching intensity.

Is this love?

It didn’t feel like any kind of love she’d experienced before. Because there was a deep connection between them. They’d become friends and now lovers. And it had left her forever changed. When he returned she’d rolled onto her side and he slipped back onto the bed and lay beside her.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly.

She sighed and smiled. “Yes. I’m...good.”

His eyes darkened and he traced the back of his fingers over her shoulder and waist and then laid his hand on her hip. “That was...something.”

Cassie’s mouth curved with delight. She’d never had such a lovely compliment. “Yes, it was.” She ran her hand along his biceps and fingered the hard muscle. “You know, you have a remarkable body.”

Laughter rumbled in his chest. “You, too.” He moved his hand to her cheek and kissed her tenderly. “Your lips taste so good.”

She smiled against his mouth, and then trailed kisses down his neck and lingered at the base of his throat, where his pulse beat strongly. “You taste good, too,” she whispered and moved lower. “Like here,” she teased and moved lower again, sliding her lips down his chest. “And here.”

Tanner groaned as his arms came around her and he pulled her close. He grasped her chin, tilted her face back to meet his and kissed her deeply. They made love again, this time it was slow and languorous as he trailed his mouth down her body and then back up again. He kissed her breasts, her rib cage, her belly and lower still, sending her spinning into a vortex of pleasure so intense, so agonizingly intimate, she could barely draw breath into her lungs as she came apart in his arms.

“Does it hurt?” she asked much later as she lay against his chest and trailed a finger over the long scar on his left thigh.

“Sometimes,” he said as he grabbed her hand and laid it against his stomach.

“You could have been killed in that accident.”

“But I wasn’t,” he said and caressed her back. “I’m here. With you.”

She smiled against his chest. “I’m glad.” She sighed. “By the way, I kind of like you calling me Cassandra.”

Tanner chuckled softly. “Then I will,” he said and stroked her skin. “In moments like this one.”

She nodded and smiled at how intimate that sounded. “What time is it?”

He shifted a little to check the clock on the bedside table. “Just after ten.”

She stirred. “Oliver will wake up in about an hour for a feed. And I’m hungry.”

“Me, too,” he said and rolled her onto her back effortlessly as he kissed her. “Let’s go and eat some leftovers.”