City of Stairs (25 page)

“You what?”

“I am going to give you the opportunity to rethink what you’re doing here,” says Shara. “Because if you offer me those papers again, I
will
use them. It would be unprofessional of me not to. And when someone asks where I got them from—and they
will
ask—then I will have to tell them. I can’t predict what will happen, but once this is all played out, there is a chance that, in the future, in some very public, very accessible forum in Saypur, someone will testify that Vohannes Votrov, City Father of Bulikov, provided valuable material to the government of Saypur with the full understanding that another City Father would be damned by it. And a thing like that … It has repercussions.”

Vohannes watches a candle flame slowly waltz on its taper.

“I’ve seen it before,” says Shara. “I’ve lost sources before this way before. I
use
people, Vo. That’s what I do now. It is not pretty. It has many consequences. And … And if you offer me this material again, I
will
take it, because I’d have to. But I want you to really think about what could happen to you if you hand over that suitcase.”

Vohannes fixes his bright blue eyes on her.
They must still be,
she imagines,
the same blue as when he was an infant.

“Come work for me,” he says suddenly.

“
What?
”

“You seem unhappy where you are.” He stabs a snail and blows on it. Droplets of butter rain on the tablecloth. “Come work for me. It’d be a change of pace. We’re not the old guard. None of my companies are. We’re doing big new things. And also I can pay you perfectly despicable amounts of money.”

Shara stares at him, disbelieving, and laughs. “You’re not serious.”

“I am gravely serious. Serious as death itself.”

“I am … I am
not
going to work for you, Vo.”

“Then hells, take over.” He glugs wine, eats another snail. “It’s all just a headache for me. Run my businesses. Direct my money. I’ll just sit around, getting elected and, I don’t know, sitting on parade floats or some such.”

Shara puts her face in her hands, laughing.

“What are you laughing about?” He gallantly tries to keep sounding serious, but his smile betrays him. “What. I’m serious here. Come be with me.” The smile fades. “Come live with me.”

Shara stops laughing. She winces, groans. “Oh, Vo.
Why.
”

“Why what?”

“Why did you have to say
that
?”

“I meant … Oh, come now, I meant live in
Bulikov
.”

“It didn’t sound like it. And … And that’s exactly what you asked me when you graduated.”

Vohannes, sheepish, looks at the Saypuri guards. “Could you, ah, gentlemen please excuse us for a moment?”

The guards shrug and take up stations outside the backroom door.

“That … Shara, that
obviously
is not what I meant,” says Vohannes. He laughs desperately.

“Is this why you invited me here? For fine dining and propositions?”

“This is
not
fine dining. I can only taste tobacco, for the gods’ sakes. …”

Silence. A throaty laugh from the next room contorts into emphysematous coughing.

“Bringing me back won’t make us happy,” says Shara.

Vohannes, stung, sits back in his chair and stares into his glass.

“I’m not who I was,” she says, “and you aren’t who you were.”

“Why must everything be so
awkward
,” he says, sulky.

“You’re
engaged
.”

“Oh, yes, engaged.” He raises his hands, drops them:
And what does that mean?
“We’re a very merry couple. We carouse a lot. Make the papers.”

“But you don’t love her?”

“Some people need love in their lives. Others, not so much. It’s like buying a house: ‘Do you want a central fireplace? Do you want windows in your bedroom? Do you want love?’ It’s not part of my necessary package.”

“I don’t think that’s true of you.”

“Well, it’s not like I have a
choice
,” he snarls. “Have … Have you
seen
those men in the booths when you walked in? Can you
imagine
what they would … ?” Again, he fights for composure. “I’m dirtier than you know, Shara.”

“You don’t know dirty.”

“You don’t know
me
.” He stares at her. His cheeks tremble. One tear quivers at the inner corner of his right eye. “I can give you Wiclov. He deserves it. Take him. Take him and burn him.”

“I’m sad to see you so happy to persecute Kolkashtanis.”

He laughs blackly. “Don’t they
deserve
it? I mean, my own damn
family
 … You want to talk about persecution, why don’t you talk to the people who did so with zeal for hundreds of years, even without their damn”—he glances around, lowers his voice—“god?”

“Aren’t they still your people, the very ones you want to help? Do you really want to reform Bulikov, Vo, or burn it to the ground?”

Vohannes is so struck by this he cannot speak for a moment.

“Your family was Kolkashtani?” asks Shara quietly.

He nods.

“You never told me.”

His skin grows pale and papery again. His brow wrinkles as he considers it. “No,” he says. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t feel like I needed to—most of Bulikov was Kolkashtani back then. Still is.
Lots
of the Continent still is. They got used, I suppose, to living without a Divinity. After the Kaj and the War, the transition was just so much easier for Kolkashtanis than anyone else. …” He pours off the rest of one bottle of wine. One of his rings making a chipper
tink tink tink
as he taps out the last drops. “My father was a
rich
Kolkashtani, so that was even worse. To most Kolkashtanis, you show up to the world with plenty to be ashamed of—born in shame—but to the rich ones, you show up
poor
, too. Just one more thing to be ashamed of, y’see. Strict man. If we did anything wrong, we had to go and cut a switch”—he extends his index—“the size of our finger for him to beat us with. If we picked one too small, then
he
got to choose for us. And though he was a stingy man in life, he was never so stingy with his switches. …” A glug of wine. “My brother loved him. They loved each other, I suppose I should say. Maybe it was just because Volka was older—father always had a grudge against children for having the insolence to not act like reasonable adults. And when my father died, my brother never forgave … Well. Everything. The world. Saypur, especially—since we Continentals assumed the Plague was a Saypuri invention. He joined up with a group of pilgrims when he was fifteen and went on a trek to the icy north to try and find some damn temple. Left me with a bunch of nannies and servants when I was nine years old. And he never came back. I got news years later that the whole bunch of them died. Froze to death. Expecting a miracle”—Vohannes lifts his wineglass to his lips—“that never came. Maybe I want to ruin Wiclov, sure. Perhaps he’s an obstacle to the future of the Continent—for I don’t see him ever wishing to see a bright new future, but rather the dead, dull, dusty past. Either way, I wouldn’t shed a tear to see him go.”

Shara shuts her eyes.
How easily,
she thinks,
my corruption spreads.
“If you offer me it again, I’ll have to take it.”

“Do it, Shara. If this is what you do for a living, I’d love to see you do it to him.”

Shara opens her eyes. “Fine. I will. I presume the contents of the safety deposit box are in the other suitcase?”

“You presume correctly.” He picks it up, slams it down on the table, and starts to open it.

“No, no,” says Shara. “Don’t.”

“What? Why?”

“I … made an unfortunate promise.”
And Aunt Vinya remembers what promises are made to her … and which ones are broken.
She wonders if she is willing to disobey her aunt and crack the suitcase open. To do so, she feels, could bring hells’ shrieking down on her, especially after Vinya’s threat.
A last resort, then,
she thinks, wondering if this is how fools rationalize their poor choices. “If you can just give me the suitcase, the Ministry would be more than happy to reimburse you.”

“You want me to just
give
you the suitcase?” Vohannes is agog at the idea. “But this luggage is worth a fortune!”

“How much?”

“
I
don’t know. …
I
didn’t buy them. I have people for that.” He grumbles and inspects the suitcases. “It
ought
to be worth a fortune. …”

“Send us an invoice, and we’ll compensate you accordingly.” She slides one suitcase off the table. It is only mildly heavy.
Paper?
she thinks feverishly.
Books? Some artifact?
Then she takes the other suitcase from Vo. She stands, a suitcase in either hand, and feels quite absurd, like she is about to depart for a relaxing vacation at the beach.

“Why is it,” says Vohannes as he walks her to the door, “that whenever we finish our business, it feels like neither of us got what we wanted?”

“Perhaps we conduct the wrong sort of business.”

* * *

Escaping the air of the club is like swimming up from the depths of the sea.
I shall have to throw these clothes away,
she thinks.
The very fabric has been poisoned. …

“Oh,” says a voice. “Is it … Miss Thivani?”

Shara looks up, and her heart plummets. Sitting in the back of a long, expensive white car is Ivanya Restroyka, face as pale as snow, lips painted bright, bloody red. She looks somehow more colorless than when Shara saw her last, at Vohannes’s party. One curl of black hair escapes her fur hat to curl across her brow and behind her ear. Yet despite these carefully cultivated features, she stares at Shara with a look of unabashed shock.

“Oh,” says Shara. “Hello, Miss Restroyka.”

Ivanya’s dark eyes slide to the club door and dim with disappointment. “So. You were the one he was meeting tonight.”

“Yes.”
Think quickly now.
“He was making some business introductions for me.” Shara slowly walks to the car window. “He has a lot of business he wishes to drum up with Saypur. It was very good of him to do.” A good lie: serviceable, sound, maybe one-sixth true.

“At
this
club. The most old guard of any club in Bulikov.”

“I suppose, as they say, times are changing.”

Ivanya glances at the white suitcases and nods, obviously disbelieving. “You knew him once, didn’t you?”

Shara pauses. “Not really, no.”

“Mm. Might I ask you something of you, Miss Thivani?”

“Certainly.”

“Please … be careful with him.”

“I’m sorry?”

“For all his bravado, for all his bluster, he’s so much more fragile than you think.”

“What do you … ?”

“Did he tell you he broke his hip falling down the stairs?” She shakes her head. “He was at a club. But not a club quite like this. It was a club where men went to meet men, I suppose you could say, but … there the similarities end.”

Shara feels her heart beat faster.
I knew all this already
.
But why does it surprise me so?

“The police raided the club the night he was there,” says Ivanya. “Bulikov, as you probably know, has never really given up many of its Kolkashtani inclinations. Such …
practices
are terribly illegal. And they were quite brutal with the people they caught. He almost died. Hips are quite difficult things to fix, you see.” She smiles sadly. “But he never learns. That’s why he got into politics. He wanted to change things. It was, after all, Ernst Wiclov who ordered the raid.”

A flock of drunken men exit the club, laughing. Smoke clings to their collars in a lover’s embrace.

“Why are you with him?” asks Shara.

“Because I love him,” says Ivanya. She sighs sadly. “I love him, and I love what he is, and what he wants to do. And I wish to look out for him. I hope you want to do the same.”

Headlights splash over the long white car. Shara hears Pitry’s voice calling her name from the embassy car. The door of the club opens, and Vohannes emerges, his white fur coat gleaming in the light of the lampposts.

Ivanya smiles. “Farewell, Miss Thivani. I wish you a good evening.”

* * *

Shara still remembers the day: long ago, toward the end of the second semester of her second year at Fadhuri, when she was walking up his building’s stairs and Rooshni Sidthuri came rushing down them. She said hello, but Rooshni—mussed, sweating—said nothing back. And when she went into Vo’s room, and saw him sitting shirtless in his desk chair, feet up on the windowsill and hands behind his head, for some reason warning bells went off in her mind—for he only ever seemed to do that after making love.

As they talked—innocuously enough—she sidled over to the bed. Felt the sheets.

How damp they’d been, and in one spot—right where the hips and waist would be, were you to lie upon it—just positively drenched.

How young Rooshni had hurried, as if the building were burning down. …

She did not confront him then. But she began to watch.
(This is what I’ve always been
, she’d think, much later.
Someone who does not intervene in her own life, but only watches, and works behind the scenes.)
She watched how Vo seemed to spend so much time with young men, the way he embraced them. She watched the way he watched them, the way his posture grew more languid, relaxed around them.

Does he even know it?
she wondered then.
Do I?

And one day she could bear it no more, and she quietly walked into his apartments while he and—she cannot even remember the boy’s name now, Roy something or other—moved so slowly and so gently against one another in the very bed where Vo had whispered how much he loved her in her ear not more than two days before.

The look on their faces when she cleared her throat. The boy, hustling out the door. Vo, screaming in rage at her, while she stood silent.