Cinderella and the Playboy / The Texan's Happily-Ever-After (33 page)

“I want this to be a real marriage, too, starting tonight.”

Shep came close enough to kiss her. Raina knew by now that he liked to start slow and ratchet up the passion. Was that a technique of his, or was that just his way with her? To her amazement, she wanted to be the only woman he thought about, the only woman who could arouse him to new heights of passion.

Touching his lips to hers, Shep reached between them and splayed his large hand over her midriff. With deliberate slowness, he eased up her knit top, the tips of his fingers grazing her belly as he slid the material away.
His palm settled on her navel, as each of his fingers splayed across her stomach.

“It won't be long until we feel life here.”

His voice was raspy, and she understood how much this baby meant to him. But what did
she
mean to him? Inside her mind, a question demanded to be asked
—Do you want me as much as this child?
But she couldn't let it out. The truth was, she was afraid of the answer.

She loved the feel of his hands protectively spread over their child, sensually spread across her skin. His cheek brushed hers as he kissed along her ear, as his tongue erotically played with her earlobe. Her knees started to buckle. She'd never felt such intense desire. Yet how could that be when she'd been married, in love with and loved by her husband for years?

That thought fled as Shep lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom.

Shep set her on her feet by the bed, her arms still around his neck. He held her tightly against him. She could feel every nuance of their bodies connecting, her breasts pressed against his chest, his belt buckle against her belly, his erection pressing just where it was supposed to be.

“Do you want this as much as I do?” he asked.

The marriage—or the sex they were about to have?
the devil on her shoulder demanded. Either way, at the moment, she wasn't sure it mattered. “I want it. I want
you.”

He laughed. “Then maybe we can do it more than once. It
is
our wedding night, after all.”

She suddenly worried about whether or not she could fulfill his needs.

The smile on his lips faded away. “I can tell what
you're thinking. This is about the two of us, Raina. You tell me what you want and need, and I'll tell you. We'll play, we'll explode, we'll compromise. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do.”

Right now, all she wanted was to be naked in that bed with Shep. Instead of telling him, she showed him. She slid her hands up the back of his head, nudged him down and kissed him as if it were the last kiss they'd ever share. Her boldness and desire lit the flame of his passion, and nothing went slow after that.

Shep undressed her with an abandon that she matched. After he slipped her shirt over her head and onto the floor, he unfastened her bra. Then he stood close again, letting her breasts touch his chest as he eased down her shorts. In the process, she pulled open the snaps on his shirt. Her lips at his collarbone, she kissed there and heard him groan as his palm slipped into her panties and down her backside. Each brush of his calloused fingers excited all her nerve endings. Her nipples were hard and she brushed them against his shirt. An electric spark shot from her breasts to her womb.

He shucked off his boots, jeans, briefs and shirt. She flipped her sandals to the side, and there they were, in his king-size bed, body to body, kissing, caressing, rushing toward fulfillment for both of them.

Suddenly a cry rent the air. Manuel's cry.

Shep went still and so did she.

“Bad dream?” she asked huskily.

Shep rested his jaw on top of her head. “We'll know in a second.”

Another cry came. It was longer and louder. Shep didn't hesitate. He pulled away from her. “I'll be back,” he
mumbled hoarsely, and she knew he was still as aroused as she was. “Sometimes this can take a little while.”

She could lie there waiting, or…“I'll come with you,” she said, leaving the bed to find a nightgown in the closet. When he shot a questioning glance at her, she shrugged. “I'm his mother now.”

Shep's slow grin was almost as arousing as a caress.

When Raina and Shep reached Manuel's room, he was standing in his crib, holding on to the rail tightly, his little face red and screwed up in a very upset expression.

When he saw Raina, he raised his arms to her.

She heard Shep grumble, “I guess a mom is more in demand than a dad this time of night.”

She glanced at him over her shoulder. Bare-chested, in flannel jogging shorts with a drawstring below his navel, he looked as sexy as any man could.

“I'm a novelty,” she said easily.

After a moment of considering that, Shep responded with, “I'll get him a drink of water.”

After Shep left the room, she checked over Manuel. He quieted as soon as she took him in her arms, and she wondered if he'd had a bad dream. Did he remember anything of the neglect he'd experienced? Or was all of it an impression that could sometimes haunt him at night? She wanted to give him lots of love and only wonderful memories to dream about.

When Shep returned, they both held the glass as Manuel sipped.

Shep ran his thumb over the baby's forehead. “I think he had too much excitement today. He missed his nap.”

Raina gave Manuel a comforting hug. He took another few sips of water and smiled at her.

After Shep took Manuel from Raina's arms, he carried him to the toy shelf and picked up a small stuffed dog. “How about this one?”

Eagerly, Manuel clutched the dog to himself and Shep settled his little boy in the crib where Manuel lay on his side clutching the dog, content once again.

“We'll see if that does it. At one of the adoption meetings, we had a session on children and sleep problems. I learned not to play with him when he wakes up like that, because then he expects it.”

As Shep turned off the overhead light, leaving just the nightlight glowing, Raina saw that he tried to learn everything he could about raising his kids.

When he let her precede him through the door, she could feel his gaze on her as they returned to his bedroom. There he skimmed off his shorts and climbed into bed. Following his lead, she removed her nightgown.

His gaze followed her as she slid into bed. They were on separate sides of the bed when he asked, “Is the mood broken?”

“We'll both be listening for Manuel, to see if he's settled.”

“That's not what I asked,” he responded huskily.

Turning toward her husband, she suggested, “Kiss me and we'll find out.”

Shep rolled toward her, reached for her, then tugged her to him. His lips came down on hers without the coaxing slowness she was used to, but at the moment, his possessive need seemed even better. She was intoxicated by his scent, tempted by his taste, excited by his arousal. As his tongue took the kiss to new heights, his hand slid between her thighs, his fingers pushed
inside her and she discovered she was still aroused, still ready for him.

He tested, taunted and provoked, until she cried, “Shep,
now.”

Moments later, Shep's body covered hers. He rose above her and spread her legs. Poised there, he slowly thrust into her, withdrew, then thrust harder. She clutched his shoulders, moaned, savored, rushed up to meet him, then unraveled with a cry that echoed in the room. Shep's body shuddered as his release followed hers.

Breathless, she held on to him, aware that this had been anything but sex for her. Somewhere between ministering to his kids and their wedding in the gazebo, she'd fallen in love with Shep McGraw. She knew he cared about their unborn child as much as he cared about his other sons. She knew that was the reason he'd married her. Hopefully, soon she'd find out if he was falling in love with
her,
too.

S
tanding inside Shep's walk-in closet, Raina studied her wedding dress, hanging on the rod, the fringes swinging lower than the hems on her other dresses. She couldn't help touching the tulle on the hat on the shelf above the dress, remembering everything about her wedding day…including her passionate lovemaking with Shep that night.

They'd said their vows six days ago and she still wasn't sure where she stood in their marriage. They'd made love almost every night. Yet she suspected that Shep was holding back. He gave her physical pleasure and was attentive and considerate. But she knew in her soul he wasn't risking his innermost thoughts and feelings with her. He wasn't offering her the emotional intimacy she needed in this marriage.

Yes, they talked about the practical aspects of their lives—what the boys should eat for breakfast, how much time Eva should spend with Manuel outside, if they'd go on a trail ride when they both got home from work—day-to-day things. But nothing that led to more intimate knowledge about her husband. Raina had told him so much about herself. When her mother stopped over last weekend, she'd shared even more about Raina's childhood. But Raina realized she herself was holding some things back, too—things about her marriage to Clark.

With a sigh, she took a rust-colored tunic top and tan capris from hangers and quickly dressed. She'd gotten home late tonight. Now she just wanted to change into something comfortable, talk to her husband and play with the boys. It wouldn't be too long before it was time to get them ready for bed. She wished.

She couldn't even put into words what she wished for. More time with her husband? She'd had morning sickness today and she wanted to tell Shep about it. Maybe after the boys were asleep.

Barefoot, she went into the hall and would have gone downstairs, when she heard sounds from the boys' room.

She hurried down the hall and stood at their door. When she peeked in, she could see Joey was huddled on the bed, Roy sitting beside him. Pale-gray and tiger-striped kittens who'd outgrown the barn were asleep on the corner of Roy's bed. The other two and their mama had been cavorting in the playroom when she'd passed through.

Roy spotted her immediately, and he looked as if he didn't know what to do as Joey turned his face away, wiping away tears.

Crossing to Joey's bed, she stood beside him and laid her hand gently on his shoulder. “Hey! What's going on?”

He shook his head and wouldn't look up, so she turned to Roy. Although he was younger, he was always the more vocal of the two…the one who couldn't seem to keep anything bottled up inside.

“Come on,” she said, coaxing. “I want to help.”

“You can't tell Dad,” Joey mumbled.

“That you're upset? He'd want to know. I can't keep secrets from your father, and you shouldn't, either.”

Joey scooched over to make a place for her as she sat on the bed. She wasn't going anywhere until she found out what was going on. Even if they didn't want Shep to know, they had to at least tell
her.

After a long silence, Roy blurted out, “Ben was mean to Joey. He stole his medal, the one Dad gave him. Our first dad.”

Had she and Shep missed something so important as an absent St. Christopher's medal when they'd put Joey to bed?

“When did this happen?”

“Today,” Roy said without hesitation. “But Ben's been mean for a long time. That's why Joey doesn't want to go to school.”

That revelation came out in a rush, as if Roy had been holding it in for a long time. Shep had told her that his phone conference with Joey's teacher had revealed nothing. Joey still dragged his feet in the mornings, but got on the school bus every day…maybe because he knew Shep expected him to.

In spite of Joey's initial resistance, Raina scooted closer to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders.
At first she thought he might pull away. But then he gave in to all the things that were troubling him and let her hold him as he cried.

She was wiping Joey's tears from his cheek when Shep appeared in the doorway. Before he entered the room, he started to say, “Raina, if you'd like something to eat—”

He stopped when he saw the three of them huddled on the bed.

Joey tucked his head more securely into Raina's shoulder and wouldn't look at his dad.

Roy leaned over and whispered to Raina, “Joey's afraid Dad will be mad because he didn't fight Ben.”

Shep's expression grew troubled. His brows drew together, and his jaw seemed more sharply angled. But his voice was calm and gentle as he asked, “What's going on?”

Bending toward Joey, Raina whispered in his ear, “I understand about Ben. But you have to look your dad in the eye and tell him what's happening at school. That's the only way he can help.”

Finally, Joey lifted his head, his big dark eyes swimming with tears. Swiping them away, he sniffed, and in a low voice, told Shep, “A boy at school stole my medal and stuffed it in his desk. He's mean. In the morning before school he comes to my locker and says you don't really want us. You just took us in so we could do chores for you. He says real parents are the only parents that count.”

Raina could see Joey's words disturbed Shep deeply. Anger flared in his eyes, that someone could do this to his son.

“You're mad,” Roy blurted out, seeing Shep's reaction. Kids were so good at reading adults, better than parents ever imagined.

As if he were counting to ten, Shep took in a breath, let it out, then beckoned to Joey. “Come here, son.”

Pulling away from the eight-year-old, Raina patted him on the back, encouraging him.

Uneasily, Joey slid off the bed and stood before Shep, looking scared and lonely and altogether unsure of what was going to happen next.

As Shep crouched down to Joey so they were on eye level, he asked, “Is this why you didn't want to go to school?”

Joey nodded.

Shep put his hand on his boy's shoulder. “Yeah, I'm angry, but not at you. I'm mad that someone didn't see this happening. I'm also angry at myself that I didn't realize what was going on. Answer me something, Joey. Do you really believe that I wanted to adopt you and Roy so you could do chores?”