The Time Travelers' Handbook

BOOK: The Time Travelers' Handbook
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CONTENTS
Welcome to Time Travel

Welcome. Your very first journey through time is about to begin.

This is your time travel (TT) handset. It's an amazing and essential piece of equipment for all time travelers. In this book, you are going to use its LEAP button, which will catapult you back to specific points in time and places in the world. When you arrive, check the handset's screen to find out what year you have landed in.

Time Travel Dos And Don'ts

To help you get the most out of your time travels, here are some dos and don'ts:

•
Do
take very good care of your TT handset. When not in use, keep it in a secure pocket or, even better, attach it to your belt. If you lose it, there is NO WAY BACK HOME. The handset is state-of-the-art technology, so it is pretty unlikely you will be able to pick up a new one in Ancient Egypt.

•
Don't
worry if you feel a bit strange or dizzy upon landing the first few times. It's perfectly normal. Not everyone enjoys the sensation of whizzing through time right away. Like most things, time travel gets easier each time you do it.

•
Do
treat any people you meet on your travels with respect. They may not have computers, or even metal tools, but that doesn't mean they're stupid—they're just living in an earlier time than you. Asking them if they like football or hip-hop, or even if you can borrow their cell phone will make you very unpopular, and they will probably think you are totally crazy.

•
Don't
hesitate to hit the large red EJECT button in the center of your handset any time you feel threatened or scared. Don't hang around—the past can be a dangerous place.

Activating the EJECT button will shoot you out of harm's way, then fast-forward you back home.

Unfortunately, the EJECT button will only send you back to the present day. It won't get you out of hot water if your parents have just discovered a mess in your bedroom. You will have to deal with that yourself.

•
Do
speak normally. Your handset is equipped with a state-of-the-art program called BlabberSpeak. BlabberSpeak automatically adjusts to the language of the time and place you land in. With BlabberSpeak enabled, you will be able to both understand and speak to the people you meet on your travels as long as you are holding the handset, or it is attached to your belt.

•
Don't
panic. Your clothes will travel through time with you. You won't find yourself stark naked and chatting to Henry VIII.

Warning

Do not try to change the course of history, no matter how tempting it is. Time travel is not to be used for personal gain, other than for gaining knowledge.

Going back in time to buy a lottery ticket after finding out this week's numbers is strictly forbidden. Your TT handset will know about it and take immediate action by transporting you back to Victorian times and setting you to work as a
chimney sweep
. It will not return you home until it is convinced you have seen the error of your ways.

•
Do
breathe freely. The TT handset is equipped with an ImmunoShield. This helps protect you from catching the bugs of the past, and also keeps you from giving modern coughs and colds to people you meet on your travels.

•
Do
consult this book before you go, and keep it with you during your visit. It will provide you with top tips and essential time-tourist information, highlighting must-see sights and things that are in your best interests to avoid.

Now you're ready to go.

Take a deep breath and press the LEAP button.

Good luck, and enjoy your travels!

How To Beat The Mayan At Ball

 

The roar of a crowd brings you to your senses and you find you are standing in the middle of what looks like some kind of ball court. You are in the area of the world now known as Southern Mexico and Guatemala, and the roaring crowd are all Mayan—an Indian people famed for their buildings, astronomy, and ball games. The good news is a Mayan ball game is about to begin. The bad news is that this game is much more than just an exciting team sport—it can be very dangerous. The outcome of the game can determine whether the players live or die.

Let's Play Ball

The ball court you are standing in is shaped like a capital letter I, with high sides decorated with elaborate carvings. The high sides help to keep the ball in play.

For the game itself, you are going to need to put on some equipment to protect you from injury. The ball is made of solid rubber. It can weigh almost nine pounds and is hard enough to break your bones. So make sure you strap on some padded shin, knee, and forearm protectors made from animal skin. Think yourself lucky though—the ball was sometimes made from a human skull wrapped in strips of rubber to make it bounce well.

Put on your feathered headdress and you are ready to play ball. You look a-Maya-zing—as do the other members of your team who enter the court wearing their finest animal skins, feather headdresses, and jewelry.

Mayan Rules

Now this is the tricky part: Historians aren't exactly sure how this game was played. So, you are going to have to keep your wits about you. What previous time travelers do know, however, is that you should try really hard to help your team win, because the losers are often sacrificed to the gods.

Take a look at the end of the court. You will notice that there is a stone ring, just large enough for the ball to fit through. It is probably a wise move to aim for that. Make sure you are whacking the ball in the right direction—own goals aren't good no matter which century you are in.

Get In Some Practice

You will need:

• an open space • shin pads/elbow pads/any kind of helmet • a soft soccer ball or beach ball • two hoops or buckets

Put a hoop at each end of your playing area about eight yards apart. If you don't have hoops, place a bucket at each end.

 

Get a group of friends together and divide into two teams with at least two players on each side. Then put on your protective gear (you shouldn't really need this if your ball is soft enough, but it will help you get into the spirit of the game if you do). Jaguar-skin skirts are optional!

 

The aim of the game is to get the ball into your bucket. So, decide which team is going to aim for which goal. Then, determine with the toss of a coin which team will start the game. The winner of the toss starts with the ball.

 

It is thought that the Mayan players were not allowed to use their feet to move the ball. They had to whack it with their knees, arms, or hips. You are not allowed to kick, catch, or throw the ball, other than with clenched fists. To begin, the ball can be headed, punched, kneed, or chested to a player on the same team. The team with the most goals after 10 minutes wins.

Warning

If you do accidentally kick the ball, or hit it with the palm of your hand, the ball is given to the other team.

BOOK: The Time Travelers' Handbook
10.14Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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