Christmas in Apple Ridge (35 page)

She couldn’t remember the last time Sol had offered to help her with anything to do with her making cakes. But that’s not who she and Sol were. They made a good couple because they worked well independently and then scheduled time together around their busyness. Lots of couples did that, probably most.

A loud thud resounded through the house, and she jumped, almost smearing the delicate green leaf she’d been working on. “You’re supposed to be setting up tables and
benches, not tearing the house down,” Mattie said loudly, teasing whoever had dropped the piece of furniture.

“Sorry.” A male voice echoed back at her.

Mattie switched pastry bags and added a tiny red flower to the side of the wedding cake.

Jonah walked in, carrying a bench. “You seen Lizzy?”

Mattie’s aunt flew into the room before she could answer.

“Where does this one go?”

“The second bedroom.”

“Denki.” Jonah nodded and kept going. Lizzy followed.

Beth came in the back door, juggling several large pots and pans that would be used to serve the wedding feast. “There’s four inches of snow out there. It’s gorgeous.” Beth put the pots on the stove and moved to the counter to admire the cake. Again. “It’s more lovely than I could’ve hoped for.”

“It hasn’t changed much since the last time you saw it.”

“I know, but it looks prettier every time I swing through here.” Beth rinsed her hands in the sink.

Lizzy came into the foyer on her way to the front door. “We’re on schedule, Beth.”

“You’re amazing,” Beth called after her. “That means we’ll be done setting up for tomorrow in about five minutes, and everyone is going to Lizzy’s to eat. You’re going to join us, right?”

“Ya, but I need to do a few more things. I’ll walk over as soon as I can.”

“More? It’s remarkable already.”

“Denki. But I’ll be the one who decides when I’m done,” she teased. “Now, go away so I can finish.”

Beth laughed. “Wow, it’s a good thing I know you love me.”

The racket in the house slowly died down until it became silent. Mattie moved to the kitchen window, watching large white flakes swirl against the dark sky. The shortest day of the year was fast approaching. She stepped onto the back porch. The night air smelled of Christmas.

“Mattie Lane.”

Gideon’s voice scattered her but also warmed her.

She turned. His gaze held hers, and she tried to lower her eyes.

“We ran out of seats, so Lizzy sent me after one of the benches. Jonah said to tell you it’s perfect weather to hitch a horse to the sleigh, so we’re doing that after dinner and taking turns going for rides.”

Was he asking her to go for a sleigh ride with him? “I can’t.” She was desperate to keep her distance from him.

He nodded.

“But I could use a hand getting the cake to Lizzy’s.” She went inside to the wash house and took the celebration cake out of hiding.

Gideon studied it, nodding. “That’s really something.”

The large sheet cake had edible stencil cutouts and sculpturing that portrayed scenes from Beth and Jonah’s story—Jonah in a shop, carving; Beth seeing the carving for the first time; and them writing to each other. Since Beth had thought she was writing to an elderly man at the time, Mattie put a few words on one of the tiny sheets of edible paper.

Dear old man ~

Then she’d made a happily-ever-after scene in which Jonah rescued Beth in a sleigh on a snowy Christmas Eve.

Mattie sighed. “What a love story they’ve had. And it’s only the beginning.”

It was a stark contrast to her and Gideon; they were nearing the end of their story, a final
the end
. She’d go to Ohio. He’d stay here. They’d barely catch a glimpse of each other after this trip, and it would likely be under different circumstances, since one of them might be married.

“So.” Mattie set the celebration cake on the kitchen counter beside the wedding cake. “Did you come on foot or in a rig?”

“Can’t carry a bench in a rig.”

“True. After you deliver the bench, could you come back in a rig? The cake isn’t so big I can’t tote it, and I know Lizzy’s is less than four hundred feet from here, but it’s a little slippery out there, and I’d like to get this to her place without it landing upside down in the snow.”

He chuckled. “I’ll be back in a few.”

Mattie went to the sink and washed her empty pastry bags and the multitude of tips, along with the rest of the dirty dishes from the day. While she was wiping down the countertops, someone knocked on the front door. She opened it to find Ashley’s sister. Sympathy for the young woman tugged at her.

“Is Gideon here?” Sabrina didn’t appear too happy, but she looked festive in her red coat.

“Not at the moment. But he’ll be back shortly. Come in.”

“Thanks.” She stomped her snowy boots on the doormat, then came into the house.

“You do know he doesn’t live here, right?”

“I know. But he’s been here every time I’ve stopped by since he started working on this place.” She peeled out of her coat, revealing decidedly non-Amish attire of stretchy, tight black pants and a hot pink sweater that accentuated every curve from her low neckline to the tops of her thighs. Mattie felt like a brown mouse next to her. She took off her gloves, stuffed them into her coat pockets, and stretched out her free hand. “I’m Sabrina.”

“Mattie.”

Something akin to shock passed through her eyes. “You’re Mattie Lane?”

She took Sabrina’s coat and hung it on one of the pegs by the front door. “Ya.”

She fluffed out her short black hair. “I saw you here a few weeks ago, didn’t I?”

“Ya, you did.”

She smiled. “Ashley never liked that he broke up with you. She’d be pleased that the two of you are back together.”

That was just odd. Why would Ashley disapprove of Gideon ending a relationship with another girl? “We’re not back together. I’m going home to Ohio in a few days.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“I’m sorry about your sister.”

Her eyes clouded. “He told you?”

“Ya.”

Sabrina sniffled and then gave a small smile. “Wow. This place has never smelled so good.”

“That’d be the cakes I made today.” Mattie led Sabrina to the kitchen.

Her mouth fell open when she saw the two cakes. “These are remarkable. Gideon told me you made cakes, but he never said you were this good.”

Why would Gideon say anything at all about her? “Well, I’ve improved a lot.” She took the almost dry pastry bag from the drainer and patted it with a towel. “He … talked to you about me?”

“Only all the time. It’s one of the reasons I like him so much. He’s got a really good heart. Not many out there like
him.” Sabrina’s eyes widened. “Sorry. I guess it’s out of line to say that about an old boyfriend.”

“I’ve met someone else.”

“Ashley warned him you would. She told him to be honest with you.”

Honest? Feeling as if she was missing entire segments of this conversation, she wanted to ask Sabrina to clarify what she meant. “She sounds like a good person.”

“She was. She believed with all her heart that she and Gideon would both beat that awful disease. But there’s no predicting who will beat it.” The girl’s voice grew thick.

Mattie’s breath caught in her throat, and her mind ground to a halt.
Both?
Gideon had it too? Suddenly it dawned on her that she’d never once asked Gideon how he met Ashley.

Sabrina returned her attention to the wedding cake. “Did you go to school to learn how to do this? Or does it come naturally to you?”

Her words garbled in Mattie’s brain, and she couldn’t respond. Everything around her seemed to be happening in slow motion, as if she were in a dream.
Leukemia?

Gideon walked inside. He stopped short when he saw Sabrina. “Hey there. What are you doing here?”

“I have to leave on my trip tomorrow, and I wanted to see you first.”

He shot a glance at Mattie. Then he led Sabrina to the front door, helped her into her coat, and took her arm as they went outside.

Mattie inhaled a halting breath. She poured herself a glass of water, trembling as she gulped it down.

He had cancer. Missing bits and pieces to understanding Gideon dangled just out of reach. She could see the scraps now, but they made little sense.

Reeling in shock, she tried to review the events of three years ago, overlaying what she’d perceived had happened with this new perspective.

What had he done?

G
ideon walked Sabrina to her car. No stars were visible, and the air seemed pitch black as white snowflakes fell all around them.

Sabrina opened her trunk and passed him a present. “You can’t open that until Christmas, but since I won’t be in town to deliver it then, I’m going to have to trust you.”

He bounced the package up and down. “At least I know it’s not another five pounds of fudge.”

She laughed. “Ashley made me promise you’d always get a Christmas present. She thought it’d help remove some of the sting of loneliness that swallows people in your position.”

She was right. Battling cancer had an unbearable isolation to it. Not wanting to get sucked down that hole, he teased, “What, you mean a man without a girlfriend?”

“No, silly. Although I just met your Mattie Lane.”

“She’s not mine, not anymore.”

“Maybe it’s not too late.”

“It was too late years ago.”

“There’s always a chance for Christmas magic. You tell me that every year.”

“Not in this case. Mattie’s going to Ohio to build a life with her guy, and I’m staying here.”

“I’m sorry.”

Her words summed up his own feelings. He’d always love Mattie.

He held up the package. “Thanks for bringing this. Now go. Have enough fun in Europe for both of us.”

“Merry Christmas, Gideon.” She hugged him before hopping into her car. He waved as Sabrina pulled out of the driveway.

Something grabbed his arm and jerked him. When he turned, Mattie’s features were taut, and her eyes held disbelief as frigid winds thrashed at her dress and apron. “What have you done?”

His thoughts splintered into a dozen directions, trying to figure out what she was referring to. “About what?”

“How could you?” Her muted shriek came from deep within.

He swallowed hard, fearing Sabrina had revealed his secret.

And he also had a distant, uncontrollable hope that she had.

He took Mattie’s arm to keep her from falling on the slick ground. “Let’s go inside.”

She pulled away, slapping at his arms through his thick coat. “Stop babying me,” she hissed.

He held up his hands and backed away. “Okay.”

She jerked a breath into her lungs. “I want you to tell me the truth. Can you do that?”

“If I do, it’ll open doors to things we’ve both locked away. Just let it be.”

“I want answers, Gideon.” She balled her hands into fists. “Truthful ones!”

He nodded. “Okay, I promise, nothing but complete honesty.”

She glanced heavenward, disgust and hurt written in her eyes. After a few moments she focused on him, looking a little more in control of her emotions. “What did you do three years ago?”

He took off his coat and put it around her shoulders. She stared at him without moving. He tugged on the collar of it. The temptation to say, “I’ve loved you for a lifetime, Mattie Lane,” was almost too strong to conquer. Instead, he said, “After months of feeling bad and going to doctors who were no help, I … was diagnosed with leukemia.”

Horror filled her features. “Gideon.” Her whisper held deep
pity, and he was reminded of another reason he’d lied to her. He didn’t want her to stay by his side out of pity. “Are you still sick?”

He shook his head. “No, not right now.”

Relief flickered in her eyes for a moment.

“I’d planned on telling you about my illness after the holidays. But then Ashley came to me with devastating news.” He steadied his voice as best he could. “She was cancer free one day and facing a grueling battle the next. What hope did I have … what life could I offer you? You arrived at my place minutes after she told me her latest diagnosis. Knowing my cancer had gone from a bad stage to a worse one, I … did what I thought would be best for you in the long run.”

Her face contorted with confusion. “Did you love me?”

“With every breath I’ve ever drawn.”

“Then why, Gideon?” She sounded close to hysteria.

“Imagine we were in a buggy traveling together and an eighteen-wheeler was gunning for me. All I could think of was getting you out, Mattie. Getting you to safety.”

“Do you have any idea what you did to me?” she screamed, shaking her fists in the air.

“Ya. I spared you. I was in isolation for nearly nine months after a bone marrow transplant. I came so close to dying time and again and was too sick to hold up my head; I couldn’t
work. The treatments cost an incredible amount of money. Every penny I’d saved for our life together is gone. A government program had to take over covering the medical costs. I was powerless to do anything worthwhile … except that I’d let you go before it got that bad.” He drew a breath, trying to close the dam of pain before they both drowned in it. “You were brokenhearted when your mother was diagnosed with lupus. I couldn’t bear to put you through all that again with me. I didn’t want you trapped in a life you’d seek rescue from.”