Choose Me: a novella (8 page)

“Now?”

“Well, you wanted me to find you, and here I am.”

“Yeah, here you are…” It bubbled out of her in a giggle that embarrassed her. She sounded like a silly schoolgirl who didn’t know what to do with the present she’d received.

“So what now?”

She shrugged again, hating herself for being at a loss for words.
Just tell him what you’ve thought all this time. Don’t waste this moment. Capture it!

“I always regretted what happened.” it was a start, she thought.

“We were stupid to throw it away.”

“It wasn’t you. It was
me
. I was the stupid one.”

He didn’t disagree. She didn’t blame him. He’d tried to hold on. She was the one who pulled back, who severed all ties and never tried to hold on.

“I…things were so tense when we came back to Philly. I don’t know if it would have worked out between us—”

“Things are always tense. But you can’t let other people dete
rmine your happiness, Jess.”

“I know. It was just…complicated.” The words clotted in her throat but she continued. “Even now, I keep hearing and reading about what’s expected of me as a black woman…and I see how people—white and black—react when they see interracial co
uples…and it’s scary how angry they get.”

“Are you still afraid of that?”

“A little.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. He’d picked up the twine and was roping it around his hand.

“Are you seeing someone?” He ventured.

She nodded and then told him about Tyler. “Everyone says I’m lucky to have someone like him interested in me, but he’s not what I want.”

“Is it serious?”

“No. Not for me anyway…it doesn’t matter.”

Then she stopped herself. She was ready to push Tyler aside and she didn’t even know where she stood with Chris or if he even wanted to be with her again. “But… you’re seeing someone too, aren’t you?”

“Sylvie, the woman who owns the gallery,” Chris said. “I think I was going through a Mrs. Robinson stage when I met her…and so was she. It’s—well, she likes being seen with younger men, I’ve figured that much out…and I think she likes to see herself as my patron or something.”

“Are you in love with her?”

“No. It’s not love.”

He stared long and hard at her, and it felt like he was seeing right into her. Then he reached for her, and she welcomed it. They were kissing, hungry and full of want. Shivers rolled through her and she tightened her arms around him. She felt him trembling in her arms.
He feels it too!
The taste of his mouth was sweet and hot. She wanted to drink him in, melt into him. When they came up for air, she was shaking and she hugged her chest, waiting for a moment of clarity to come.

“I don’t know what to do,” she said softly. “I keep telling m
yself I made a mistake and now you’re here, and I don’t know what to do.”

“Give us a chance.”

“There are other people involved.”

“They don’t have to be. You said it yourself: you’re not in love with Tyler. I’m not in love with Sylvie.” He slid his arm around her shoulder. They kissed again, drawing away reluctantly. “We could make it work, Jess. If you give us a chance, we could do this.”

She nodded again, letting his words sink in.  Then she stood and drew him up with her. They embraced again. His arms were tight and secure around her and she felt herself falling. When she let go, he was smiling that same smile that had caught her in Edinburgh.

Nothing else really mattered.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kim Golden is a Philly girl through and through--even if she has lived in Stockholm, Sweden with her husband Tord for close to twenty years. When she isn't writing copy for a living, she can be found in various cafés in Stockholm writing her next book. She is the author of
The Melanie Chronicles
and
Linger: a short story
. She also writes a kick-ass blog, Kim Talks Books, http://kimtalksbooks.com.