Choices will Destroy (An FBI Romance Thriller Book 14) (8 page)

He didn't give a shit about his career because he could walk away from it all. What he couldn’t give up was his family. Taking this walk down memory lane was going to be bad.

He could already feel it.

All Ethan had now was his hope that the people he was about to trust his wife’s fate to would have their backs. His team was going to have to prove their worth.

It wasn’t only about the job. It was now about more.

Love.

Trust.

Friendship.

If they didn't have that, they were screwed.

Ethan sat in his chair and closed his eyes. It was time for some divine intervention.

“Granddad, if you can hear me, I need your help. Please send me something. Anything. I can’t lose her. We have to keep the raven intact.”

With that, he opened his eyes.

Now, it was time to get down to business.

They had a killer to find.

Or it was Elizabeth who would pay.

CHAPTER TWO

FBI West

Morgue

This was going to be one of the hardest conversations she’d ever had to have in her life. Over the last fifteen years, Elizabeth had built friendships that had endured so much. In fact, she had no doubt that it would last for her lifetime.

Doctor Christopher Leonard was her soul mate of sorts. They’d built a relationship as brother and sister, and as investigator and ME.

It was special.

It was important.

It was intimate.

What she had with Chris Leonard was forged in pain, suffering, and adoration. She genuinely loved the man. They had walked through blood together so many times that she’d lost count. He was her first ME, and she was his first agent.

You didn't forget your first.

They were special.

When this whole mess went down, and Livy and Gabe bailed on her, Chris was the one who held her up. His willingness to stick mattered to her. His loyalty was precious. Truth be told, beside her husbands, Chris was the only man she completely trusted to have her back.

When she needed him, he was there.

When she was broken by the people she loved most, he had rushed to her home when she called, and he didn't leave her side. For three days after Gabe and Livy eloped, they stayed there.

Hiding.

Healing.

He’d held her in his arms, let her sleep against him, and never once tried to pull anything. He’d been her rock, and she was about to suck him back in again.

Elizabeth hated that they were about to fall back into a mess she had created. At some point, she wanted to tell him the truth, but she had been afraid.

She didn't want to lose him.

Having him look at her with disgust was something her heart couldn’t handle, and she knew it. Elizabeth didn't want him to be disappointed in her—not Chris. He was her brother by another crazy mother.

So, instead, she kept it in, locked away in her heart and hidden from him. It was for his own good—or that’s what she told herself countless times. It was Elizabeth’s way of keeping him safe and untainted from her sin.

Now she had to hope he’d forgive her.

She was going to put it all on the line, despite Ethan’s suggestion they keep them out as long as possible.

It was time.

She had to come clean.

Heading into the morgue, she found him with Doctor Zane Legend. They were comparing notes on a case they were tag teaming.

The second the men heard the door to the morgue open, Chris glanced up. The smile was there, and then…it faded.

“Lyzee?” he asked, moving around the metal table toward her. He’d seen that look once before, and it worried him.

In fact, it was years ago.

“I need to talk to you, Christopher. Can you spare a few moments for me in private?”

He grabbed his cane and handed Zane his files. “I’ll be back. I need our office for a little while.”

As he headed there, he knew something bad had happened. This reminded him of many years ago. Her voice sounded the same when she’d called him after that one ugly case.

That fear was back.

Elizabeth didn't frighten easily. Now she looked rattled to her core. She was in a t-shirt and jeans, and she had such pain in her eyes.

Inside the room, he waited for her. When she locked the door behind her, he knew it was going to be epic.

“Christopher.”

He didn't move.

“Oh, God,” she sobbed. It all just came out—the fear, the pain, and the tears. They fell, and she was helpless to stop it.

“Come here, honey,” he said, opening his arms. When she rushed into them, it reminded him of another time.

For that brief second, he was back there…with her. They were fifteen years younger, green as grass, and scared shitless over the mess they were wading through.

“Christopher, I screwed up.”

He stopped her from talking as he stroked her back. Gently, he kissed her temple. “It’s okay, honey. I have you.”

Chris pulled her down to the couch and held her against his side. As she wept, he gently ran his hand down her hair. “Lyzee, honey, it’s okay. What’s happened?”

She couldn’t breathe.

She began hyperventilating.

Chris pushed her head between her knees. He knew that she needed to get air to her and the baby. “Breathe for me. Come on, Elizabeth, I need you to take deep breaths.”

She did what he said.

When she could finally speak, she said something she never thought would ever be spoken of again.

“I broke the law.”

He was right. This was going back to a time and place when they first became friends. For years, he’d remembered that moment, but it had never been the right time to bring it back up, so instead, Chris kept it buried.

Now, it was time.

“When Livy was raped,” she said, barely able to get the words out, “I did something very wrong. I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have. I did something I’m not proud of, Christopher.”

He lifted her chin so they were eye to eye. “Elizabeth, I know that you killed him. I know that on that night, you went out and broke the law.”

She stared at him, her brilliant blue eyes filling with tears. As they fell, he wiped them away.

“I knew then and I know the truth now. I’ve always known what you did for your partner. I’ve kept it a secret for you.”

She hurt even more.

Not because he knew the truth, but because she’d been too chicken to be honest with someone she loved. For all those years, she believed he wouldn’t be any the wiser.

She’d made more than one mistake.

“How?” she asked.

Chris wouldn’t let her look away. It was time for them both to come clean.

“I destroyed the files for Gabe. I was green, but I wasn’t that green.”

She touched his cheek. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I wanted to tell you.”

He kissed her on the cheek. “You told me in your own way in the days after it happened. I’ve watched you carry this for years. I remember coming down from checking on Livy, and you were on Gabe’s couch. That night broke you. It damaged the woman I loved.”

She recalled everything he said.

She recalled the way he protected her as if she was a woman on the edge. Chris did know.

How had she missed that too?

“That sweet girl died that night. In her death, you changed. No one had to say the words. I figured it out myself.”

She rested her forehead against his. This man was truly her brother. He kept her secret without being asked.

Only someone who loved you like that would ever go to that length.

“In the car, after I left, I heard on the radio that Seamus O’Brien was killed by
‘The Butcher’
, and that they found him dead in the street. I recalled seeing a medallion on Gabe’s counter, along with a knife. You took them, didn't you?”

She nodded her head.

Now, it was all about trusting him. She had no choice in the matter. He was part of this, just as much as she was.

“Why didn't you tell me you knew?”

“When you called me to your townhouse about two weeks later, I wanted to tell you that I knew, but you were hurting, so I said nothing.”

She closed her eyes.

“Those days after that were some of the hardest in my life, Chris, and you held me up. I’ve always loved you for that.”

He grinned. “Can I tell everyone you were my first girlfriend now?” he teased.

She laughed. “I’ll tattoo your name on my ass. That’s how much I love you right now.”

Chris snorted. “Where’s Tony when you need him?”

She tried to laugh, but she wasn’t feeling it.

He pulled her into his arms. “I’ve had your back, Lyzee. We made that vow, didn't we? Fifteen years from now, we’d both still be here. Ironically, it’s been fifteen years. We should have bet on some ponies that day. We both could have been rich.”

She stayed tucked under his arm. “I’m sorry, Christopher, that I didn't trust you enough to own it that day.”

He touched her cheek. “Don’t be. I made the choice to keep it quiet too. You’ve always been my sister. From the day you wouldn’t sleep with me, to the day we made out in Boston, I’ve known you were right.”

“About?”

“Ripples in the pond. We mattered to each other. Over the years, we’ve always had this bond. I wouldn’t have made it without you. Our lives started that day and wove together. Sex, while it would have been hot, would have destroyed this. We wouldn’t have this love for each other.”

She looked up at him. “I do love you, Newton. I will always love you.”

He laughed. “For the record, I still have them. I kept those boxers. They’re locked away where no one could ever get them.”

She snorted. “Why?”

“They remind me of you. You were my first friend, and my best friend.”

“Don’t tell the men you think about me and your britches at the same time,” she teased. “As for being your best friend, I still am. Nothing’s changed about that.”

He grinned. “Oh, I won’t tell your husbands if you don’t tell my wife. It’s our little secret.”

She kissed him softly on the cheek. “Deal, Newton.”

He grinned. “Feel better?” He hoped so, since he had held something back. The last thing she needed was to know that she left evidence behind. After all, that was how he figured it all out.

She was sick enough.

“I feel a lot of things. Grateful is the one at the top of the list. You never left my side,” she said. “You could have, but you didn't. I owe you for that.”

Chris grinned. “I was the lucky one. We stayed in bed for three days,” he said. “We ate pizza, you cried, and I let you purge. It wasn’t all tears. We played cards, watched movies, and got to be very close.”

She nodded. “You were all I had left. Had you asked, I would have had sex with you. I was at my weakest.”

“That’s why I didn't go there. I wanted this more. I wanted my best friend for the next fifty years.”

She sobbed.

He touched her cheek. “I’m still here, Lyzee. You can tell me anything. You said you were in trouble. What happened? You’re generally stronger than this. If you’re this distraught, something bad has gone down.”

“He’s back,” she blurted. “Gabe just called.
‘The Butcher’
took another victim, and he’s back. I think I killed the wrong man. All those years ago, I think I screwed up.”

He wiped her tears with his thumbs. “Okay, so what do you need from me? Ask and it’s yours.”

“I have to go in and investigate. I need you to be my ME. I can’t work with anyone else on this. It started with us, and it has to end with us too. It’s come full circle, Christopher.”

He didn't hesitate. “I’m in.”

She wasn’t shocked in the least. He was a damn good man, and she was lucky to have him in her life.

“We’re heading to DC. The body is there.”

Chris knew she wasn’t the only Fed in deep shit. She wasn’t the only one who broke the law fifteen years ago. He’d let the truth slide. When he found the evidence, he made the choice for love over justice.”

“I’ll call Cyra, get my gear, and be ready.”

“Chris.”

“Lyzee, it’s okay. We took that vow. Did you mean everything you said to me then?”

“Yes. I promised to stick if you did.”

“Well, I did the same. I told you I’d be here in fifteen years, and I’m still here, honey. I won’t let you down. I will always have your back.”

She wanted to say so much. Instead, she offered him what she could. Elizabeth kissed him softly on the lips, and then dropped her forehead to his.

“I love you, Christopher.”

His heart squeezed. He hated that the woman he called sister was hurting this much. Without her, he never would have made it. She let him use her as a crutch for so many years. More than once, she saved his life.

Hell!

She helped him find a wife and build a family.

What he owed her was far more than she owed him, and he knew it. Without the love of the woman beside him, he would have quit many years ago. Starting out, he was a target, and Elizabeth stood in front of him many times.

She was his champion, and she deserved someone to do the same for her.

“I will always have your back. You’re my best friend, and always will be. Our families are one, Lyzee. You know that. I love Ethan and Callen like brothers. You three are the people I claim as my own. Whatever you need, you have it.”

“You’re the best, Newton.”

“I want you to remember this when Tony is around. If he starts calling me that, I will tell him that you and I have slept in the same bed, and you told the FBI techs in DC that I was your boyfriend.”