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“You know you’re coming home with me,” I ordered, and she conceded with a soft smile.

“
Take me home, Jason.
”

I gathered her into my arms, doing just that.

~

We lay in my bed that night, and she was curled in my arms as I scoured the internet on my
iPad. “It says that you need vitamins. And folic acid. Wait, are you taking that medication that Dr. Adams prescribed?”

“No,” she answered tiredly, her long fingers moving over Joplin’s ears. “I wanted to wait until I knew for sure I wasn’t pregnant.”

“He’s the size of a poppy seed,” I read, running my hand over her curls. “I think we should call your doctor and leave a message anyway, so they’ll call back first thing in the morning-”

“I know you’re excited,” she said, turning up to face me. “But I’
m so, so,
so
tired Brew. Please just read me some more Tolstoy until I fall asleep.”

I smiled down at her, n
odding and reaching for my phone and opening
Anna Karenina
. “Baby, for you… anything.” Her chocolate eyes sparkled in the lamplight, and I opened my Kindle app. “Wow. This part’s about you,” I began. “
He could not be mistaken,
” I read. “
There were no other eyes like those in the world. There was only one creature in the world who could concentrate for him all the brightness and meaning of life. It was she.
”

She sighed, closing her eyes. “I love romantic Jason.”

I grinned, reading until I was sure she was sound asleep.

CHAPTER
NINETEEN

Sandy

“I can’t not work.”

“That’s a double negative. And I thought you were a Lit major.”

“Jason, it’s not 1955! We have to afford a wedding, and a house, and… I like working.”

“Really.”

“Well, I like making money,” I cried, kicking at the ground to swing the hammock in his backyard. The stars filled the night sky, and fireflies dotted the edge of his property like the twinkling lights of a Christmas tree.

For an entire month, we shared the secret of the baby growing inside of me.
After that first appointment and the ultrasound that changed our lives, he drove home, gripping the photo in shock.

“You called it,” I tried playfully, turning to him.

“Twins? Two babies. One, two,” he counted the circles drawn on the photo, swerving as he narrowly missed taking out a mailbox.

“
You have to keep your eyes on the road! Yes, two babies, just like you said,” I urged.

“I don’t deserve to be this happy. Something is going to go wrong.”

“Jason! Stop it.” I elbowed him, pointing at the road. “Just drive to our parent’s house. I want to tell them. I can’t wait to see their faces.”

“Maybe we should wait,” he echoed my sentiments from weeks ago.

“Why? Do you feel like something’s wrong?” I asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong,” he replied, gripping my hand. “Why, do you feel like something’s wrong?”

“Jason.” I sighed deeply, resting my head on his shoulder. “We’re going to drive ourselves crazy. Let’s just stop worrying and be thankful. Okay?”

He’d kissed me, nodding. “Sounds like a plan.”

Our parents had been elated. When I finally mentioned to my mom that we wanted to move the wedding date up, she beamed, opening up her gigantic file folder and jumping head-first into wedding planning again.

“Are you sure?” s
he urged.

“I’m so sure, Mom,” I’d replied, laughing as my dad made Jason climb up into the attic to help him bring my
old baby crib down.

“Jim! She’s not using a crib from
the seventies, not for my grandbabies,” my mom had accused. Jason only smiled, brushing off the dust on the cherry wood.

“Maybe we can make a shelf out of it or something,” he’d suggested, forcing a proud smile to my dad’s face.

The wedding date was set for July 14
th
. With a little more than a month to prepare, we’d taken to spending the evenings in the hammock with Joplin at our feet, stargazing and planning our future.

“Jason, I know
I can’t work for
you
anymore. But I can still work.”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I would take another position in a second. I just think that the cost of childcare would be more than your salary. And I don’t want strangers raising my kids.”

“Our moms offered to help.”

“I don’t want to rely on them.
And we travel so much, and I don’t want you traveling, at least not in the first year.”

“God, I never knew you were such a chauvinistic, controlling,
domi
neering
-”

He silenced me with a kiss
, and I warmed, narrowing my eyes.

“
…-
man
.” I finished, lying back. He stretched out next to me, tucking his arm around my belly. I was only nine weeks, but definitely had a bump, though he refused to agree with me. I knew that all of my jeans were too tight, and had already taken to wearing mostly loose, cotton skirts.

“You love that about me,” he said.

“I know.” I sighed, covering his hand with mine. “I wish you didn’t have to leave. What time is your flight?”

He groaned.
“Ten tomorrow. I’ll be home on Saturday morning. Only one day.” We stared at the sky, and he kissed the back of my neck. “It’s so warm. We could sleep out here.”

“Okay.
” I sighed.

“
Mmm
.” He kissed me again, slower, behind my ear, and I felt the familiar waves of intense wanting flowing through my body. Everything was changing; my breasts were tender, my hips were sore, and I was unable to stay up past nine PM.

And suddenly, I was horny all the freaking time.

“Make love to me, Jason. It won’t hurt anything.”

He continued kissing me, his hand sliding down my side. “I just want you to be a little further along.
And it’ll make our wedding night that much more intense.”

“Brew?”

“Hmm?”

“
I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me right now.”

He laughed, his hand slipping under the waistband of my sweatpants.
“Drama.”

“Jason, I mean it.
”

His fingers were between my legs, and I arched against the pressure of his hand as his mouth returned to my neck.

“
Just you, baby.
”

He teased me, opening me and gently slipping his finger inside while his thumb pressed to my sensitive nub. I
rocked my hips into his hand, coming with tiny, explosive breaths.

He continued kissing me as my panting evened, and I let my eyes close beneath the heavy-lidded bliss of his skilled touch.

“
How many stars, Sandy?
” he whispered, his warm breath on my ear.

“Two, Jason. One for each of the lives you’ve given me.”

His contented sigh was the last thing I heard as I drifted to sleep.

He carried me into the house sometime later, and I woke up nauseated around three AM. I’d learned that the sic
kness struck me mostly at night and pacing helped ease the queasiness.

After drinking some ginger ale, I decided to look online for nursery ideas. Jason and I had decided on a beach theme, something that would be gender-neutral.

I noticed he’d left his browser window open again, and I clicked on Facebook.

With a grin, I saw that he’d changed his relationship status to “engaged.”

I never knew that something so insanely simple would make me so blissfully happy, but it did. I clicked on his messages and saw that Carissa Steel’s name was at the top.

Narrowing my eyes, I scanned their conversation.

Carissa Steel:
Twins! That’s amazing. Congratulations!

Jason Brewer:
Thank you. I feel like my life had to fall apart before I could put it back together the way it was always supposed to be.

Oh, shit. Tears tumbled down my cheeks as I read his words. I couldn’t believe that my Jason could alternate between talking so dirty, and yet come up with these profound expressions of love.

Carissa Steel:
That’s so romantic!!

Jason Brewer:
How are you? How was the signing? Sorry I couldn’t be there.

Carissa Steel:
I’m good. Things are okay. I have another signing in Boston next week.

My blood ran cold.

Jason Brewer:
I have to go to Boston for work next week, actually. When’s your signing?

Carissa Steel:
Saturday morning! Oh, please tell me you can come!!!

Jason Brewer:
I can probably swing it. I couldn’t get a flight until Saturday at noon anyway.

Carissa Steel:
OMG I’m so excited! I’m emailing you a PDF with two tickets right now!

Jason Brewer:
Just one. Sandy won’t be with me.

Carissa Steel:
Oh… okay. Everything’s still good, though, right?

Jason Brewer:
Yeah, she doesn’t deal with the New England states. I also don’t want her traveling. I worry.

Carissa Steel:
Are you one of those overly cautious new dads? Lol

Jason Brewer:
I can’t help it

Carissa Steel:
So my box of book sex toys is probably collecting dust?

I was instantly pissed off. How dare she bring that up
now
, knowing that he was engaged to me, and I was having his child?
Children?

I knew that I should have stopped reading right there and then. Whether it was self-consciousness, curiosity, or whatever, I
needed
to read Jason’s response.

Jason Brewer:
For a little while

Carissa Steel:
You don’t seem like the kind of guy who can go without

I hated that she left off the punctuation to that statement. My blood was boiling.

Jason Brewer:
It’s hard sometimes

Jason Brewer:
I mean- well you know what I mean

Carissa Steel:
Hahaha I know what you mean

Carissa Steel:
But you guys have a pretty open relationship? She was willing to try all that stuff I sent you?

I closed my eyes. The next reply from my fiancé would dictate whether I was going to march into the bedroom, wake him up, and kick him in the balls.

Jason Brewer:
I don’t think we should chat about that.

Oh, I wanted to kiss him. I was contemplating waking him up with a blowjob when I read further on.

And froze.

Carissa Steel:
Sorry, don’t want to intrude. I just thought that… maybe… she’d be open to, you know, us all getting together some time.

Did she just suggest that? I had to read her reply twice before I got what she was insinuating.

Jason Brewer:
All three of us? Sure, why not.

Carissa Steel:
I don’t think you get what I mean

Jason Brewer:
Oh- I just got it

Carissa Steel:
I’ve never had a threesome before. Have you?

Jason Brewer:
Once, when I was married before.

I choked on my sob, covering my mouth. How did I not know that he’d had a threesome before? Why did
she
know something that I didn’t about him?

Carissa Steel:
Did you fuck them both? And your wife was okay with it?

Jason Brewer:
It was her idea in the first place

Carissa Steel:
Was it another girl? Or guy?

Jason Brewer:
Girl. I should get going…

Carissa Steel:
Sorry, I don’t mean to ask such personal questions. They just come out naturally. Occupational hazard, lol

Jason Brewer:
No, that’s okay. Yes, please send me a ticket, I’ll stop by after my training is over.

Carissa Steel:
Awesome! Here ya go!! Have a great night, Jason. See you soon!