Chat (11 page)

Oh, G
od, I lost my senses.

With ever
y thrust of his hips, his finger slid deeper, forcing my muscles to expand. Awareness paralyzed me. My mind wanted to resist, knew it was wrong, but my body could only react to the force of his touch, the assault of sensation. I arched my back, moaning, writhing, trying to pull away only to push him in further.

W
hat in the hell was happening to me? I screamed, muffled into the pillow, coming so hard and fast that I drifted in and out of consciousness.

“
Fuck
,” he growled, from somewhere above me in the darkness.

T
he orgasm wracked me to my core. He removed his finger and gripped my hips, holding me immobile while he drove deeper into me.

“Sandy
…
God, baby…,
”

He thrust into me, shuddering.

Resting his forehead against my back, he panted softly between sweet kisses.

I slowly came back to the darkness, to his bedroom,
to the intensity of the moment. I tried so hard to keep the anxiety at bay, but already the overwhelming need to analyze everything that we’d just done was taking over. My muscles tightened around him, and I felt him pull out, the warm, stickiness on my thighs heightening my senses.

Jason had come inside of me
again.
My
Jason.

I was on the pill and had been for years; I wasn’t concerned about that. There was something so profound about him filling me with himself, with his life, that forced tears to my eyes.

I love him.
I loved him, and I always had. I wanted to tell him; I wanted him to be absolutely
certain
that the part of my heart that had always belonged to him still did, only in an entirely different way.

In a perfect world, Jason was mine.

“
Untie me,
” I begged, between sharp breaths.

“
Not yet,
” he whispered, against my skin.

I tried to move, and he pulled my hair aside, dropping his mouth to my neck.

“Jason, please untie me.”

He
sighed deeply and unfastened the cuffs, and I rolled onto my back, reaching for the tie.

“Wait,” he repeated. “Leave it on. I’ll be right back.”

My hands stilled over my face, and nodded, dropping them to the pillow behind my head.

He disappeared for a few minutes. I heard the water running, and when he returned, I nearly jumped off the bed as the warm washcloth touched my
thigh. “I’m just cleaning you up, San. Relax, okay?”

I could only nod. T
he warm, cotton cloth between my legs was the most luxurious feeling in the world at that moment. The blindfold quelled the overwhelming shyness that I felt as he gently cleaned my folds, and I couldn’t fight the inevitable stirring that I felt as he touched me again.

Once he was satisfied that I was comfortable, I felt him lie next to me.

“Can I take it off now?” I managed.

He was silent for a long moment, and I felt his hand cupping my face, his thumb tracing my jaw line.

“Before you take it off… will you give me three answers?”

I turned toward his voice, taking a deep breath.

“Only three?”

“Yes.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

“First.” He
pulled me closer, so that my ear rested against his naked chest. I could feel his heartbeat, the steady rhythm that echoed my own. “Did I make you feel good?”

I nodded, without hesitation.
“I’ve never… felt like that before…
God, Jason.
”

I could hear him smile in the darkness.

“Me too, San,” he answered softly. “Now, second. If I arrange everything at work, will you come away with me for the week? Back to the ocean?”

At that, I reached for the blindfold, but he caught my wrist, pulling my hand to his lips. Sighing, I melted into his kiss.

“When?”

“Soon.”

“I’ll try.”

He accepted that,
taking a deep, steadying breath.

“Third.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead. “Do you really want me chatting with Carissa?”

At the me
ntion of her name, the magic shattered around us.

I’m a mess. He’s been t
hrough so much with the divorce and deserves happiness.

“That’s why we did this, isn’t it?” I
said, yanking at the blindfold. I pulled away as he reached for me, bending to gather my t-shirt as I regained my bearings in the darkness. “Of course I do. In fact, she’s probably waiting for you. If you need some ideas, text me, I’ll be in my room.”

“Sandy-
”

“
It’s okay, Brew. You were a pro with the cuffs. She’ll love them.”

I spoke without turning, hurrying to my room and
snapping the door closed behind me.

My back was still pressed to the door when he knocked behind me.

“Nope. Open up. Not letting you do this.”

“Jason, I’m fine,” I called, forcing a smile.
“Really.”

“I need to see your face.”

I turned with a sigh, turning the knob to find him standing in the doorway. With the brightest smile I could muster, I winked at him. “Really. I’m totally fine. What you just did to me… was amazing. Really.
Amaaaazing
,” I teased, reaching to pat him on the bare shoulder.

He wore only boxer-briefs, and I nearly choked to see that he was already hard again.

“Why are you doing this?” he demanded.

I narrowed my eyes, forcing my smile to stay put. “What do you mean? Doing what?
” I nodded toward the living room. “You’d better go tell Carissa that you like her present. And make sure you describe how you’re going to share it with her. If you need help, you know where to find me.”

“Sandy.”

“Night, Brew.”

I stepped back and closed the door before he could say another word.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Jason

I stood in the hallway, staring at Sandy’s door for almost five minutes.

Part of me wanted to force her to talk to me.

But I didn’t want to scare her.

Or push her away.

I had my hand on the doorknob three times, finally cursing and stalking back to my bedroom for sweats.

I heard the bathroom fan turn on in Sandy’s room, and I knew she used the sound as white noise to sleep.

When I went to the kitchen, I realized it was only ten o’clock. Retrieving another beer from the fridge, I lowered to the table and opened the laptop.

My cell phone rested next to the keyboard.

What in the hell just happened?

I sat back, tipping the bottle to my lips.

I’d never tied a girl up before. Not once. Like I’d told Sandy, I’d never felt the need to
and
it’d never even occurred to me with any of the girls that I’d been with over the years. Other than Elaina, the longest relationship I’d had was with Dawn McGregor, and that had lasted six weeks.

Elaina had been into havin
g sex in public places. I’d fucked her at a concert, a bar, a baseball game, the park, you name it. It took her two minutes to get off if she knew that people were-
possibly
- watching us. At first, sex in public was a little unnerving, but I realized that if anyone did suspect what we were doing, they mostly just rolled their eyes and looked away.

I clicked through my
Facebook newsfeed for all of three minutes before realizing that I was completely and utterly screwed.

I
loved
Sandy. I loved her so much that, when she told me to go chat with Carissa and closed her door, it felt like she’d raked her fingernails over my heart.

But, I’d always loved her.

She was the first one who I wanted to talk to when I woke up in the morning, even when I was married to Elaina. Sandy knew that I’d always been a morning person, that I had the most to say in the first hours of the day. She met my energy two-fold as I’d ramble on about the most inane bullshit as I drank my coffee.

Elaina loved to sleep in, and if I spoke to her before nine AM, it had better be for a damn good reason.

The chat sound bleeped through my laptop speakers, and I sighed, opening Carissa’s message.

Carissa Steel:
Hey J. You there?

Now I was just J, apparently.

Jason Brewer:
I’m here. Got a really interesting present from a very naughty author today. Thank you.

Carissa Steel:
LOL- was it too much? *runs and hides her eyes*

I narrowed my eyes at her immature image, trying to remember that she was an expressive writer.

And almost a decade younger than me.

Jason Brewer:
It was unexpected ;-)

Carissa Steel:
I thought that… maybe… you could bring the box with you when we meet up in Cleveland.

I sat back in my chair, and Joplin whined at me, resting her head on my lap. She looked up at me with the most accusing expression, and I scowled at her. “What? She
told
me to talk to her.”

Joplin gave a
hrmph
, accompanied by another whine.

I rested my fingers over the keys.

Jason Brewer:
I’ll be honest with you. I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I can’t promise anything.

Carissa Steel:
I totally understand. We’ll just meet and see what happens. Sound good?

Jason Brewer:
Sounds like a plan.

Carissa Steel
:
:-D

I logged off then. I didn’t want to deal with any more of her immature flirting. Well, I
did
, until Sandy suddenly became a completely different woman to me from the girl that I’d known all of my life.

My phone lit up, and I reached for it.

Boss:
Can Joplin sleep with me?

I stared at her words until the text became blurry. Finally, I tossed the phone to the table without answering, patting my hip for Joplin to follow me down the hall.

Knocking softly, I waited for her to open the door.

The moment she did, her mouth was on mine, and her arms were on me like vices. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist.

Fuck, could she could kiss. Or maybe it was just the fact that it was
her
tongue against my own,
her
head tilting for a better angle, and
her
hair spilling over her shoulders.

Sandy
.

“Will you sleep with me?” I asked her, and she nodded, tucking her face in my neck. I held her effortlessly, flattening my palm over the back of her head as I kissed her forehead.

“I don’t want to be alone. When I’m alone, I think. I can’t stop thinking. And then I cry.
And I forget how to breathe,
” she poured, her fingers digging into my shoulder blades.

“Then I won’t leave you alone.”

I carried her to my bed, the same place I’d just thoroughly drove her mad, and tucked her beneath the sheets. She made a small, disappointed sound as I moved toward the bedroom door. “Where are you going?”

“Just locking up the house.
I’ll be right in.”

I did a sweep of the windows and doors, making sure all the locks were in place. She was drifting in and out of sleep when I returned to my bedroom. I crawled in next to her, and she backed up against me, fitting against my length perfectly.

“
How many stars?
” I whispered against her hair.

“
None with you, Jason,
” she managed with barely a breath.

~

I was up before her the next morning.

Staring at her for the longest time, I watched her sleep,
focusing on the thin strip of sunlight that shone through the window and illuminated her face. Her eye was healing, and the marks on her neck were dull bruises now. Her full breasts rose and fell with every breath. As much as I wanted to begin there and run my hands over her body, I knew that she needed to sleep.

Seeing her, in my bed, on her k
nees, cuffed and blindfolded… with just the memory of the night before I was painfully hard. I’d heard her complain over the recent years about her hips getting too big, or five pounds that she just couldn’t lose. When I saw her, completely naked, I had no idea what she had been talking about. She was curvy, yes, but in the best way. I finally slipped out of the bed before I could think about the way I held her breasts beneath her bra.