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I
studied her face carefully, my eyes darting back and forth to the road. She gazed up at me, turning her cheek into my hand.

“
I love you too, Jason.”

In the cool, spring moonlight,
our “I love you” became something different. It was heavy with years of experience and mistakes, laughter and memories. The words were profound, hopeful, and filled with the kind of comfort that we could only ever give to each other.

I wanted to say more, but instead, I held her hand the entire way home.

I took Wednesday off of work, making her get up and get dressed and go to Home Depot with me for paint. I wanted her room to be
her
room, and the pale pink walls were Elaina’s taste, not hers. “You just don’t want me moping all day in my sweats,” she countered, thanking me politely as I held the store door open for her.

“As cute as you look in my pants, you’re absolutely right.” We
lingered in the paint aisle for a long time, discussing colors.

“Hey, remember when we decided to paint my room ourselves? What were we, eleven? Twelve?”

“Thirteen,” I corrected, grinning. “We found that can out in your parent’s garage-”

“…
only it was
varnish
, not paint, and oh, my God, that smell.” She giggled, wincing at the memory.

“That was the first time your mom grounded
me
,” I remembered.

“But not the last,” she added.
Sighing, she held up two sets of color schemes. “Well, what do you think? This color is called twine.”

I stared at her hands, focused on her long fingers.

In a series of moments, I saw those fingers adjusting my lunch box in second grade. I remembered them learning to ride my bike, and holding my hand as we crossed over the stream in her parents’ backyard. I could feel her palm close over the rocks that we threw into the lake, and remembered her hands sliding over my bare shoulders, clawing at my skin.

“
Sandy…
”

“What?
Too dark?”

I took a step toward her, and she lifted her eyes to mine.

And I kissed her.

She dropped the color sample to the ground as her arms went around my neck. I backed her against the rows of paint samples, holding her face steady. My lips
captured hers, twice, softly, before she opened to me. Her sweet tongue coaxed mine, and she formed fists on my jacket collar, holding on with all of her strength.

“
Mm
,” was all she could manage, between breaths, between kisses. I slid my hands up her sides, crushing her against me, dipping her back so that all she had to hold on-to to keep from falling was me.

“
I want you,
” I said, my words vibrating against her ear, my mouth dragging over her neck.

She inhaled sharply, moaning as
I took her earlobe in my mouth.

“A
hem
!”

We bolted apart, and some appalled woman pushed her
little boy in a cart past us, glaring.

Sandy covered her mouth, glancing at me once before making a break for the door. I left our
cart of paint supplies behind, chasing her out to the front of the store.

“Sandy,
wait
-”

“
I’m so afraid,” she railed, turning to me in the parking lot. Tears brightened her eyes as several people turned to look at us. “I ruin every relationship I’ve ever been in!”

“Oh, you do not. Stop being dramatic,” I told her, rolling my eyes. “You set the bar as high as you deserve. And Jack was my fucking fault. I never should have told you to just
go
for it on the plane. Do you know I replay that moment in my head over and over, and have for the past three years? When I told you to stop being so goddamn picky on the way to that sales conference?
You deserve the world,
and I never should have told you to settle!”

She turned and got in my pick
up, and I moved to the driver’s seat.

“Just take me to my mom and dad’s. I’ll
get my stuff this weekend.”

“Why?” I demanded, cursing myself for moving so fucking fast. “I kissed y
ou. I told you that I wanted you. I’m being honest. I do want you, I want every single part of you.”

“No you don’t. You
pity
me. You’re the most compassionate person I’ve ever known, and you’re confusing sympathy with love.”

“Don’t you
dare try to tell me how I feel,” I said, my jaw clenching with an attempt to hold my temper. I knew that she was thinking of Jack’s words at the door, and at that moment, I wished I would have just pulled the trigger. “You
know
that I love you.”

She buried her face in her hands, growling into her palms.

“
Ugh!
Jason! This will not work. You and I
will not work!
The risk of losing you will always hold me back, and keep me from ever telling you if I’m angry, or hurt, or-”

“What? Are you kidding me? You have never had any problem telling me how you feel,” I said sarcastically, shifting the truck into reverse. “Buckle up.”

She glared at me. “Besides, you and Carissa-”

“Oh, fuck Carissa, I don’t even fucking know her,” I snapped.

“But you should
get
to know her. I don’t want to be your rebound after Elaina. And I don’t want you to be mine after Jack. We both know what’ll happen.
Brew
.”

I stared forward, trying like hell to ignore her stupid words.

They were stupid, and she was scared, and I was moving too fast for her.

Staring at the yellow dashes in the road, I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

Were they stupid?

Was there even the slightest chance that she could be right, that we were setting ourselves up for failure by being there to comfort each other?

We both refused to speak the entire drive home. She wasted no time rushing into the house, and as I tossed my keys in the bowl and let Joplin out, I heard the shower turn on.

There were no words that would change her mind. I knew her well enough to accept that.

Grabbing my iPhone, I stalked to the bathroom, pushing the door open.

The steam already filled the space, and she poked her head out from behind the dark brown shower curtain. “Dude!” she cried, clinging to the curtain.

I almost laughed at her, forcing my expression to remain firm.

“I’m not coming in. I know you’ve got your period.”

“And
that
is the only thing stopping you? Jason, you can’t just come barging in here!”

“Hold on.”

I pressed PLAY on my phone, docking it in the little purple speaker that Elaina had left behind for the bathroom.

In seconds, Mr.
Big’s “To Be With You” began.

And I belted out the first verse so loudly, I heard Joplin barking at me from the backyard.

“Jason,” Sandy protested, clinging to the curtain. Her face moved from indignant to annoyed, and by the time I got to the chorus, she was grinning at me.

“I’m the one who wants to be with you,” I
said, moving to her and gripping her hand through the shower curtain. “Since sixth grade, the first time Sandy Quinn ever gave me a boner.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” she laughed, the shower continuing to steam up the bathroom.
“The dance in the middle school cafeteria.”

“This song.
  The lights, down low,” I reminisced, taking her other arm and wrapping it around me, letting her soak my t-shirt. “The smell of popcorn and punch.”

“I could feel the bass in the floor, from the DJ’s speakers.”

“You wore white jeans and a red sweater that made you look like a valentine.”

She grinned. “How do you remember that?”

“Don’t you?” I challenged, swaying with her to the music, the shower curtain between us.

“I’m getting you soaked,” she protested softly, and at that moment, I could feel her guard going down.

“Want me to come in?”

“No,” she replied. “It’s like
Friday the 13
th
in here.”

I grinned. “That doesn’t bother me.”

We were silent for a long moment, listening to the song as it ended.

Finally, she looked up at me. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”

“I’m sorry for rushing us.”

Her pretty eyes searched mine. “Rushing
… us?”

“Rushing.
Us
. We’re inevitable. We’re
going
to happen. But I know it has to be on
your
time, when you’re ready. I’m okay with that.”

She
pondered my words for a moment, finally rising to her tip-toes to press a kiss to the corner of my mouth. “Let me finish up in here, and I’ll be right out.”

I returned her kiss, dropping my lips to her forehead.
“Deal. Mr. Big and I thank you for hearing us out.”

She snickered, sliding the curtain closed.

We ended up driving back to Home Depot, getting paint, and had most of her room done by nine o’clock. I ordered pizza and we sat down in front of the TV, beers in hand.

“I like the twine. It has a calming effect,” she commented, staring at streaks of paint on her arms.

“I’m gonna hit the shower, and then I’d better get to bed. I’m planning to wrap everything up at work tomorrow and be ready to drive out Friday morning. Okay?”

She smiled, taking a long sip of her beer.
“Sounds good. I’m actually looking forward to getting away for a while.”

“I know. I know you better than you know you.”

She only grinned my way as I took off for the bathroom.

I took a quick shower, wrapping my towel around my hips and moving to the sink. I hadn’t shaved in tw
o days, and the scruffy, blond hair on my jaw was definitely irritating. The soft knock on the door drew my attention.

“What’s up, babe?”

“Can I… come in for a sec?”

“Sure.” I opened the door, raising my eyebrows.
“Everything okay?”

“Yeah.
Come out here.”

I followed her two steps into the bedroom before stopping in my tracks.

She’d lit the candles on my nightstand, and the light flickered against the wall.

“San?”

“
Your turn
.”

She hooked her fingers inside my towel, pulling it away and letting it dangle for a moment before slipping to the ground.

All the blood in my body seemed to rush to my cock, and as though she knew it, her long fingers wrapped around my thick erection.

She took her time sliding her hand over me, and watching her eyes grow bigger the longer it took to travel my length only drove me madder.

“You like it when I talk dirty,” she said softly, more of a statement than a question.

I exhaled slowly, unable to resist bucking my hips against her warm hand. “Yes.”

“
Jason
,” she breathed, her raspy voice so fucking sexy in the dark silence. “I want you to fuck my mouth. Go as deep as you can.”

My balls tightened all the way to my stomach, and I groaned, threading my
hand through her curls. She bent to flick her tongue against the tip of my penis, and I grunted, trying my hardest not to shove myself into her mouth.

Her hands slid up the back of my thighs, and the moment her lips closed around my cock, I
tightened my hold on her hair.

“
Fuck
,” I hissed, her hot little mouth taking me all the way in, as far as she could go. I tried not to pull her hair, but when her head and her tongue began moving in some possessive rhythm that forced all my muscles to clench, I tugged on a handful of her thick curls. “
Sandy
,” I moaned, and she made a soft noise that vibrated down my entire shaft. I jerked out of her mouth before coming, and she looked up at me, confused.

“Jason?”

I led her backwards, to the bed, and searched for the lube I’d tossed in my nightstand. She whimpered, shaking her head.

“
But I-
”

“Turn around,” I ordered gruffly. She bit her lip and turned to face the bed.

I bent her over, tugging down her sweatpants. I had the wrapper torn and the condom on before she could turn back to me. After running my hand up and down my cock with the warming gel, I slid one finger into her ass before she had time to protest.

“
Oh, God,
” she moaned, gripping the bedspread.