Chasing You (Thirsty Hearts Book 4) (20 page)

“Of course.” Alexa’s terse reply sat somewhere between defensive and accusatory.

Her mother sighed. “I’m just trying to sort through your love life. I have to figure things out. You never tell me anything.”

“I told you about Adam.”

“You never told me about dating this Graham.”

“That wasn’t worth talking about.”

“But he’s checking on you.”

“We’re friends.” Alexa spoke sharply.

“Alright. Just asking.” Her mother’s right shoulder lifted in a shrug.

“What?”

“Nothing. If you’re seeing this Adam, I’d like to meet him. You should bring him up, so your father and I can lay eyes on him before he goes back to England.”

Alexa said her thousandth prayer for the day, this time, for this conversation to end. ”I’ll see what his schedule is.”

“Good.” A tension Alexa hadn’t noticed before eased in her mother’s face. “What are you going to do when he goes back to England?”

“I don’t know. He’s here for the next couple months, and he’s hinted that he might stay longer. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.”

“I like having you nearby. Texas is better than New York and much better than London.”

Alexa grabbed her mother’s hand and squeezed. “I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“So, you’re moving back to Oklahoma?” Her mother gave a half smile.

“Don’t go crazy.”

“I don’t know why you feel that way about your home town. We’re growing. We have excitement like any other city.”

Alexa suppressed a grumble. She didn’t want to insult the town her mother loved. “I have my business in Austin. I can’t up and leave.”

“I know. I’m your mother. I have to keep you feeling guilty about something.”

Somewhere, Alexa thought, her mother had a Tupperware container of gold medals for guilting children. “It’s late. You should get some rest, so we can get back to the hospital early.”

Alexa kissed her mother goodnight, climbed the stairs, and meandered down the hall leading to her childhood bedroom. Framed memories scattered the wall, displaying versions of herself in assorted sizes and with varying amounts of teeth.

She groaned at the picture she’d asked her mother to remove at least a hundred times. Her hair looked like a jailbreak of curls throughout her middle school years. Add braces and glasses, and the hideousness stunned her every time she saw it.

“I love that picture. It’s exactly how I remember you at that age. You were so cute,” her mother always insisted.

Alexa had no idea what her mother saw. She could only be grateful that the acne hadn’t shown up until the braces came off in ninth grade. That’s also when she shot up five inches—almost to her current six feet of height.

The summer before senior year burned away her awkwardness, and she started doing local modeling—for newspaper mailers and department stores—when she was seventeen. Soon, Alexa found an agent and landed larger and larger jobs. Halfway through college, she moved to New York to model full-time.

Driving into Manhattan in the back of a rickety taxi, Alexa had taken one look at the endless sweep of towering buildings and knew she’d never move back to Oklahoma. The town had more going on now, but when she was little, it had seemed like a godforsaken outpost. Everything came to Oklahoma City late—music, movies, and fashions.

Alexa wanted fresh and happening. She escaped the first chance she got, the ink on her high school diploma still glistening.

Pushing open the door to her old room, she stopped and grinned. Her Cabbage Patch kid smiled at her from the bed. Even though they had renovated the room and moved a number of things to storage, the doll stayed. Alexa wiggled a finger in Kirstie Lorraine’s dimple. The thrill of her eighth birthday surprise flooded back. Silly as the doll was now, it had been hard to come by and not cheap.

She scooted the bag off the bed and flopped back, kicking off her shoes. She brought pajamas, but didn’t have the energy to change. Eyes closed, she brought the doll to her chest and tried to remember what it had been like to have it be the pinnacle of satisfaction in her life.

Being an adult complicated everything.

G
raham tapped
the back arrow on his phone to listen to the voicemail again.

“Hey, Graham. It’s Alexa. I’m calling to let you know that my dad is in recovery, and he should be up and around in a day or so. Thanks again for the other night. Things are looking up, and I appreciate it.”

He took a swig of his beer, relaxing. Alexa would be fine, and he’d served his purpose. He considered calling her back. Part of him just wanted to hear the cheer in her voice rather than distress. Of course, he wouldn’t.

Instead, he dialed Sierra. What he needed was to get his mind off of his failed venture with Alexa and onto a sure thing.

When Sierra didn’t pick up the phone, he sent her brief message.

> What are you up to tonight?

Graham got up to get another beer and flipped through the TV channels, waiting for response.

>> Not much.

> Come over?

>> How about dinner?

His thumb hovered over his phone. Sierra never wanted to have dinner or do anything remotely date-like, but he wouldn’t let suspicion drive him to a knee-jerk “no.” Right now, some easy conversation capped off with their usual evening sounded like a perfect combination.

> Rio de Luna?

Graham remembered how much Sierra loved Tex-Mex.

>> See you in 30

With the date made, Graham grabbed a quick shower and headed out.

* * *

S
ierra beat
him to the restaurant. He saw her sitting at a high-topped table in the bar. Her spike-heeled ankle boots tapped furiously against the leg of her chair. When she spotted him, she gave him a jittery wave.

Graham smiled and stroked her upper arm before sitting opposite her. He expected a seductive look in return with a flirtatious wink or flip of her hair. This was a woman with whom he spent most of his time naked. Instead, she cleared her throat and warbled, “Hello.”

He frowned. “How are you?”

“Good. Great actually.”

Graham blew out a tense breath. “Really? Good news?”

“Yes. At least, I hope you think so.” She paused and downed whatever cocktail she’d ordered before he arrived. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“Us. Or whatever ‘us’ there’s ever been.”

She looked at him squarely now. Graham mentally braced himself for an emotional onslaught. Did she want to change their relationship from something casual to something more regular?

In the nearly two years they’d known each other, this would be, maybe, the third meal they ever shared. The other two involved either pizza or Chinese delivery. He couldn’t remember. He thought that maybe once he’d fed her with chopsticks, but that might’ve been someone else.

But he liked Sierra. He knew she was smart, and she had a quick sense of humor.

“‘Us’ is a topic we’ve always avoided.”

“I know, but now we need to have a conversation.”

“I’d be open to that.”

He shifted in his chair and reached across the table with flattened palms. She pulled her hands back.

“No. Not like that. I met someone a couple of weeks ago. A really great guy. And this thing we do…I can’t do it anymore.”

Graham nearly choked his own foolishness. “Oh. That’s wonderful, Sierra. I’m happy for you.”

He wiped his sweaty palms on his knees.

“You are? That’s a relief. I met him and—” She pulled her fists to her temples and exploded her hands, then continued.

“He’s sweet and funny and dedicated. He has custody of his son. He’s five. I don’t know. I just know. You know? It’s crazy. You and I? Party girl.” Her voice rose, and she pointed to her chest and then swiveled her finger toward him. “Party guy. But it’s different now.”

The thought rankled him.

“It’s not a bad thing, Graham. You and I…I want something more now. I know you’re not that guy. I wouldn’t even try to put that on you.”

“How do you know I’m not that guy?”

Sierra chuckled and leaned over the table, dropping her voice. “Because the only time you call me is when you want a booty call. I’m not delusional enough to think that’s ever going to develop into a golden anniversary with grandkids and rocking chairs on the porch. Besides, you and I don’t have that kind of chemistry. We’re nothing alike. You’re corporate. You wear loafers and live in a fancy house in Westlake. I change my hair color every other week and have a neck tattoo. Honestly, outside of the bedroom, I’d make you crazy—in a bad way. And you —”

She laughed again.

“You think I’m square.”

“Commercial real estate development? The few times you’ve talked about what you do, I have to be honest, my eyes started to glaze over. There’s nothing wrong with it, but that’s not what
my
guy does with his life. It’s terminally boring. No offense.”

Graham stifled the offense he did feel. It wasn’t about Sierra. She was right. He couldn’t take her to a business dinner with her fishnet stockings and quarter-inch eyeliner. Not even in Austin. What bothered him was a lingering question. Whose guy was he?

“It’s fine,” he sighed. “What’s your guy’s name?”

“Larry.”

Graham squeezed his lips together to keep from laughing.

“Don’t get smug. It’s his name.”

“How old is he?”

“My age. He’s technically Larry Junior.”

“Like the drummer for U2.”

She grinned. “Exactly. Only he plays bass. For Solo Disorder. You heard of them?”

Graham raised his brows in recognition even if he wasn’t sure if he’d heard of the band. A lot of the wacky Austin band names ran together.

Sierra lifted her shoulders with such pride. She
liked
this bass player.

“He makes you happy.”

“He does. I don’t know exactly where it’s headed, but I’ll never know if I keep fooling around. When you have a chance at love, I think you have to grab it.” She blushed. “You probably think I’m a sap.”

“I don’t. Not at all. I agree. You can’t let love pass you by.”

His encouragement sent joy dancing across Sierra’s face, but depression sank in his chest. The women in his life—disparate group though it was—agreed on one thing: he was not a candidate for a happily ever after.

“No, you can’t. One day, you’ll meet your perfect woman.” She tilted her head to the side. “Like a lawyer. Or a woman who…works in business.”

“In business,” Graham chuckled. “That’s pretty generic.”

“Well, I don’t know! A woman who is together and clean-cut and, you know, business-y.”

“I don’t know that I’m looking for a woman that straight.”

She wiggled her eyebrows. “Maybe you aren’t. Remember that one time…” Sierra fell apart laughing.

Yes, Graham remembered. What had the other woman’s name been? Cara or Tara? Sara? Something kind of like Sierra. In fact, some
one
kind of like Sierra. Only Cara/Tara/Sara had been blonde. At least up top.

Graham swiped his hand down his face. And he wondered why these women didn’t take him seriously. “I’m not into that scene anymore.”

“Since when?”

“I’m getting older and settling down a
little
bit.” He held up his forefinger and thumb, gapped to indicate his personal growth.

“I wish you luck.”

“Are we still having dinner?” Graham drummed his fingers on the table and glanced around the bar.

“Yes. We can have dinner. We never have dinner. Dinner is friendly, and I hope we can be friends.”

“Of course, we can.”

“Good. I’m
so
in need of enchiladas. I’m dying.” She stuck her tongue out to the side and made a choking gesture with her hands.

“We can’t have that. Poor Larry Junior might not recover,” Graham quipped.

“No, I don’t think he would. It’s nice.”

Graham mulled Sierra’s moon-faced love, trying not to look as shocked as he felt.

They ordered dinner, and then his phone rang. Alexa. His shoulders tensed.

“Take the call. I’m going to run to the bathroom.”

He touched the green button and swiped to answer. “Alexa. Hi.”

“Hey, Graham!”

“You sound chipper. That’s good news.”

“It is. Hold on…I’m going to step out into the hall.” Graham heard voices and the thunk of a door. “My dad is still a little goofy on pain meds, but he’s telling his terrible jokes and giving my mom a hard time. It’s a relief.”

“Good for him. And your mom is doing okay?”

“Yeah, she is. She’s being bossy, but that’s normal. My dad keeps trying to get people to bring him food from the outside. He’s not impressed with the Salisbury steak and Jell-O.”

“Who would be?”

“I know. It’s pretty disgusting. I promised him I’d bring him a sandwich.”

“You’re a good daughter.”

“I try.”

A beat of silence constricted Graham’s chest. “I got your message. I was going to call you back earlier.”

“It’s fine. I wanted to make sure I got a hold of you.”

Why?
Graham had his suspicions, but what would he do about it? “Thanks. I was a worried about you.”

“I appreciate it. Everyone’s been so supportive.”

Everyone. Graham coughed. Sierra hustled back toward the table.

“Hey, Graham, you’ll never guess who I ran into… Sorry. You’re still on the phone.”

Alexa’s voice clipped. “You’re out.”

“I’m at dinner.”

“With Shauna?”

“Shauna? No. It’s my friend, Sierra.”

“Sierra.”

The tone in her voice made Graham feel like he’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “She’s filling me in on her new boyfriend, Larry.”

“Oh. Larry, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Good…hold on. This is Adam calling me back. I need to go.”

“Tell Adam I said hello.” Graham managed the words through clamped teeth.

“Sure. Enjoy your dinner.”

“I will.”

After he hung up, Sierra gazed at him expectantly. “Who was that?”

“A friend of mine. Her dad is a cop, and he was shot a couple of nights ago.”

“Oh, my God! Is he alright?”

“He is. That’s why she called. To give me an update.” Graham looked down at his phone and set it down.

“Do I know her?”

“Who?”

“Your friend.”

“No. I just met her a few weeks ago. Or, actually, over New Year’s, but we reconnected a few weeks ago.”

“Is she single?”

“No.” Resignation broke into his voice.

“And you’re not happy about it,” Sierra sang in a know-it-all tone.

“Not at all…I mean, I’m fine with it. We had a thing, but it’s over.”

“Since when?”

“Since she declared that I was a shitty candidate for monogamy or anything serious. Sound familiar?”

Sierra’s shoulders sank with pity. “I’m sorry, Graham. I didn’t mean to make it sound like that.”

He flipped his phone over and over, thumping on the table. “I’m struggling to grasp this theme of how hopeless I am as boyfriend material.”

“I don’t think you’re hopeless. I never got the idea that it’s what you wanted. You’re charming. And fun. And light-hearted.”

Sierra’s pity only made Graham feel more hopeless. He gripped the hair on the crown of his head and let it go. “Not serious.”

“Not in your personal life. Or I didn’t think. Listen, what you are is up to you. If you want something deeper, you can have that. It’s easy for men. There’s no shortage of women looking to settle down.”

But Alexa is taken.
He resented himself for fixating. Maybe it was his way of continuing to avoid commitment. He couldn’t have her, so she was a convenient target. Except that’s not how he’d felt at her house the other day.

When she was in pain, the desire to sweep it away overwhelmed him. He couldn’t bear her tears, her misery. He wanted to set her world right—even if that wasn’t his job.

He wanted the job.

Graham blinked, refocusing on Sierra. She leaned on her elbow and stared at him with her chin tilted into her upturned palm.

“Have you told this woman that you want to start something real with her?”

“Sort of. She said I wasn’t the guy to get serious with, and I asked her how she knew that. I told her to give me a shot. Who knows?”

Sierra shook her head. “Oh, honey, that’s weak. If you want to change her mind, you’ve got to bring stronger game than that. Tell her how you feel about her.”

“I don’t even know how I feel about her. I like her. A lot. That’s it.”

“Why did you call me tonight?” She folded her arms across her chest.

“What?”

Sierra pinned him with her stare. “You heard me.”

“Because…” Graham exhaled and found the courage to be honest. “Because I needed to get her out of my head. I went over to her place the other night after she heard about her dad, and she was a mess. It…killed me. I wanted to fix it, but that’s not my job. She flew off to Oklahoma, and she has a boyfriend.”

Graham thought back to the last time he’d called Sierra. He’d also been in the throes of Alexa avoidance.

Sierra smacked his hand. “You can’t let love pass you by. You said it yourself. You should at least give it a shot. If you’ve just reconnected with her, then this other guy can’t have been around for very long. Give her a dose of the Ryan charm. This other guy can’t match that, right?”