Chasing the Stars (15 page)

Since my initial conversation with Nathan about Callisto, I had thought of nothing but the refugees and what they’d had to endure on that moon. Every chance I got, I met up with Nathan to learn more. Every meal was spent in his company in the mess hall, usually sitting with him and some of his friends. My brother joined us on a couple of occasions but had barely said a word. Whenever Nathan spoke to me, however, I caught Aidan watching the two of us, his gaze intense. I know others at our table noticed it too. I intercepted more than one nudge or nod in my brother’s direction.

Nathan and his mates had an easy camaraderie that I envied. Nathan tried to bring me into the conversation but more often than not, they spoke of their lives on Callisto.

I listened.

That much I could do. I may have been the outsider on my own ship but I was willing to learn. And I used every opportunity that came my way to ask Nathan questions about his life on Callisto and his life before that. He never snapped at me or was impatient but instead answered every single one of my questions with quiet conviction.

And the more I found out, the less I knew.

Another night and our shift over, Nathan and I sat opposite each other eating dinner. Though others were dining as well, we were left alone at the end of one of the long tables in the mess hall. We spoke of many things but inevitably our conversation made its way back to Nathan’s life as a drone.

‘Nathan, d’you have any good memories of Callisto?’ I asked.

He thought for a moment. ‘The friends I met and made, even if some of them are lost to me now.’

‘That’s the only good thing?’

Nathan nodded.

‘Why has nothing been done about that place?’

‘The only ones who speak out against it are the ones within in. No one else gives a damn,’ Nathan replied.

I desperately wanted to deny his words, but how could I when he had first-hand experience of the indifference of non-drones? I picked at my meal of beef teriyaki, deep in thought. Nathan’s hand beneath my chin made me jump. He raised my head to directly face him.

‘You give a damn though, don’t you?’ he said.

The smile I tried for slid right off my face. I wished to God I didn’t care, but he was right, I did. Very much. My mind was still spinning and I knew it would continue to do so until I made a decision. The way I saw it, I had a choice. I could abandon them to their fate, telling myself that whatever happened to them was not my problem, or I could put myself out and try to help, but the price of that would be high. Too high? My head told me to choose the former. Aidan would want me to choose the former. I was no saint and all I wanted was to go home.

‘Vee, what d’you think of me . . . and all the other settlers?’ asked Nathan.

I shrugged. ‘I’m still getting to know all of you.

‘By now you probably know almost as much about my life as I do,’ said Nathan drily.

I doubted that very much.

‘I didn’t have to live through it,’ I replied.

‘No. Instead you had to watch your parents and everyone else on board the
Aidan
die before your eyes. Something else we have in common,’ said Nathan.

‘What?’

‘We’ve both seen far more than our fair share of death.’

I couldn’t argue with that. We shared a sombre look.

‘Now it’s your turn,’ said Nathan.

‘My turn to what?’

‘Tell me about your life on board this ship before the crew died.’

I lowered my gaze. I really didn’t want to dredge up old memories. The joy they brought was laced with sharp pain, but Nathan had opened up to me so how could I not do the same? With a sigh, I lifted my head and began to talk about Dad and our joint love of playing film charades.

I went to bed that night, still trying to come up with a plan that would work for everyone. By morning, I’d made a decision – one of the hardest of my life – but my gut told me it was the right one. It was a decision that was going to hurt.

Once I was back on the bridge, I activated the ship-wide announcement system.

‘This is Olivia Sindall, acting captain of
Earth Vessel Aidan
,’ I stated, my eyes on Nathan as I spoke. ‘After much thought, I have reached a decision. This ship will travel to Mendela Prime, before resuming its course for Earth. Those who wish to disembark at Mendela Prime will be more than welcome to do so. Afterwards, if any of you wish to continue on to Earth with me, that will also be acceptable. That is all.’

Nathan inhaled sharply. Moments ticked by before he gave the briefest of nods in acknowledgement of what I’d just said. Neither of us said a word.

Stupid.
Stupid.

I was probably making the biggest mistake of my life.

At this rate, would I ever make it home?

‘Are you sure, Vee?’ asked the commander. She had a light in her eyes I hadn’t seen there before. It took a moment to recognize it for what it was – the light of hope.

‘No,’ I replied. ‘But I’m going to do it anyway.’

‘Vee, have you thought this through?’ Aidan wasn’t happy, to say the least. ‘We need to get home.’

‘And we will, Aidan,’ I replied. ‘It’ll just take a while longer than we’d originally planned, that’s all.’

‘A while? By the most direct route and at maximum speed, it will take us twelve Sol months just to get to Mendela Prime, and then another eighteen months to make our way from there to Earth,’ said Aidan. ‘I can give you the exact amount of time to the second if you’d prefer.’

Like I hadn’t already figured that out.

‘Aidan, we’re going to Mendela Prime,’ I said. ‘Could you plot a new course please?’

‘Vee, you
need
to get home,’ Aidan said urgently.

‘And I will,’ I replied, forcing a smile. ‘In the meantime, could you follow my orders please?’

Aidan shook his head, but he turned back to his console to do as I’d asked and plot our new heading. I glanced around. Darren was giving me a strange stare. He looked like he had something to say but then he turned abruptly and left the bridge. I sighed inwardly. Nothing I did would ever make that man forgive me for the loss of his family, but I wasn’t seeking his forgiveness.

Maybe I was pursuing my own.

The hope of seeing Earth again within a Sol year had kept me going for so long. I would just have to pray I was strong enough to put my own hopes on hold for a while. Could I really do this? Delay my return home by so many months? Oh God! Was this yet another attempt on my part to make up for what had happened on board the
Aidan
three years ago? Probably. Plus, deep down I still felt partially responsible for the lives lost on Barros 5. Logically, rationally, I told myself that there was nothing more I could’ve done. But logic was no match for my feelings on the subject. I had to do this, help the survivors. I just had to. No doubt they would all want to be put off on Mendela Prime. It would be a long lonely journey back to Earth by myself. A journey I wasn’t sure I’d be able to embark on again. Would I be strong enough to be alone with just Aidan for another eighteen months after we left Mendela Prime? I very much doubted it.

Loneliness was an insidious killer.

‘Vee, I want you to know that we all appreciate this,’ said the commander. ‘And believe me, we will do whatever it takes to fully assist you. I give you my word.’

‘I appreciate that.’ I smiled hesitantly.

The commander smiled back. A tentative truce had been established.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, which was fine with me. A lot of the ship’s work that had been part of my daily routine, I now found lifted off my shoulders and I could sit up straighter because of it. The parts of the ship like the science lab and the astrophysics lab which hadn’t been used in months, and in some cases years, were once again fully operational. I was slowly getting used to a ship that had different smells, sounds and sights to what I’d grown accustomed to over the last three years. Having a crew again made me realize just how lonely I really had been. It was truly wonderful to feel the ship was beginning to live again.

Halfway through my shift and I admit I was already exhausted. Talking, listening, just being around people took far more physical and mental energy than I’d anticipated. I did my usual rounds of each deck of the ship as I always did once during each shift and was pleasantly surprised by the cautious smiles and greetings of those I met along the way.

On my way back to the bridge, a woman’s voice from behind me halted me in my tracks.

‘Captain Sindall?’

I turned, half expecting to see my mum and someone calling her. I still wasn’t used to hearing others call me ‘Captain’, I guess because I wasn’t used to thinking of myself that way. A tall brunette woman with beautiful brown eyes walked up to me hand-in-hand with a slightly shorter blond man.

‘Captain Sindall, I’m Mei and this is my partner Saul.’

Saul’s grasp of Mei’s hand tightened almost imperceptibly.

Aw!

‘Hi,’ I said, searching for something to say next. ‘Welcome on board.’

‘We just wanted to say thank you,’ said Saul.

‘For rescuing us,’ added Mei.

‘And for agreeing to take us to Mendela Prime,’ said Saul. ‘We know going there wasn’t in your plans.’

‘But we finally feel safe.’

‘And free.’

‘It feels like we’re on our way home, even though we’ve never been there,’ said Mei. ‘Doesn’t it, Saul?’

Saul and Mei exchanged a smile which whispered to all those watching that they didn’t give a damn who knew how they felt about each other. I felt like a voyeur.

‘Well, I hope you have a comfortable journey whilst on board,’ I said.

‘We’ve both been assigned to the astrophysics lab,’ said Mei, her enthusiasm flowing over me. ‘That’s how we met, at AeriaTech Research.’

I’d heard of AeriaTech. That was one of the biggest and richest companies on Earth with outlets on every continent. I wondered what had happened to exile both of them to Callisto, but much as I wanted to know, I wasn’t about to ask. I’d learned from Nathan that you didn’t ask that. People might volunteer the information but it wasn’t done to ask.

Saul let go of Mei’s hand to grasp one of mine in both of his. ‘We owe you our lives and our happiness. Thank you.’

I slowly but surely drew back my hand. ‘You’re welcome.’

With one last genuinely happy smile, the two of them turned and headed back the way they had come, still hand-in-hand. I smiled as I watched their departure. Their happiness was infectious. I could only hope it’d spread around the ship. Now all that was required was for the Mazon to stay away whilst we travelled through their territory.

Back on the bridge, Nathan and Anjuli were at the navigation panel with Aidan. Anjuli and Nathan were deep in conversation but Aidan wasn’t saying much. I’d have to have a word with my brother. He was coming across as aloof. He needed to fix that. Nathan looked up to smile at me before resuming his study of the screen before him. Sam and Hedda were at the tactical panels. Commander Linedecker sat in the captain’s chair, but the moment I stepped onto the bridge she got up and, after a brief nod at me, headed over to the environmental panels to the right. I’d changed the access settings to allow the crew full access to all of the equipment on board. We were all going to be together for a long while, so a show of trust had to begin somewhere.

Once I’d read all the daily reports, I surreptitiously watched Nathan and Anjuli. I wanted to speak to Nathan in private later to learn more about his life, his hopes, his dreams. I sensed he could teach me a lot – if we ever got the chance to be alone. One of the dilemmas of having so many people on board. Conversation on the bridge was quietly animated. I was with people again.

Part of a team.

And I was quietly loving it.

I hesitated outside the medical bay doors. Something was wrong with me and I needed Doctor Liana’s help but I hated doctors. Let’s face it, I hated asking for help of any kind, but I wasn’t getting any better. Once she told me what was wrong, then maybe I could fix it.

Pulling myself together, I entered the medi bay. I saw Doctor Liana at once. She was at her desk, reading something on her tablet. She only had one patient. Dooli lay on a bed, fast asleep, the monitor set in the wall above her bed displaying all kinds of information which meant nothing to me.

As I walked towards her, Doctor Liana looked over, then sat up. ‘Nathan? What brings you to my neck of the woods?’ she asked.

‘Doctor Liana, I think I’m coming down with something?’ I said reluctantly.

‘Oh yes?’ The doctor stood. ‘Hop up onto one of the beds and let’s take a look.’

I did as directed, a growing sense of trepidation washing over me. Being with Doctor Liana always brought back unpleasant memories. The doctor came over to me, put her hand on my forehead, then took my pulse the old-fashioned way by holding two fingers against my inner wrist. I frowned at her as she removed her MMS, or mobile medical scanner, from her belt.

‘So what makes you think you’re coming down with something?’

I really didn’t want to be here. The last time I’d had any dealings with Doctor Liana had been when she’d operated on my leg to attach my prosthetic foot.