Chasing Imperfection (Chasing Series 2) (31 page)

     She switched her footing and fidgeted with her hands. I stood mesmerized and waited for her to speak.

    Sienna huffed out a heavy sigh and bit her lip. This ought to be interesting, I
thought,
noticing how unsure she was.

     “I was thinking—if you wanted to collect—the proposition you offered a few weeks back—which I agreed to.” She stammered through her words.

     Did she just say what I thought she said?

     Could it be?

     “I beg your pardon?”

     “The five-day proposition—I’m offering it to you.”

    
Oh, damn it to hell. Was she serious?
“Right, as tempting as that sounds, I’m afraid I have to decline that rather appealing offer. Thank you though
.
I
s that all you wanted?
I’
m rather busy.”

     I took a long sip of my coffee and expected her to leave but she had not. She was still rooted on the spot, looking a bit lost. “You’re declining? It was your idea in the first place!
What’s changed?
You weren’t declining last night!” The lost look turned into accusatory glare.

     I waited a beat until I spoke. I wanted—
needed
—to savor
the look on her face when I told
her my good news. “Everything’s changed you see. About an hour ago, I offered my hand in marriage to Camilla, if she’ll have me again.”

    
Oh, bloody joy!
The look of horror hit her full-on.

     “But—but….but we had sex last night?” she whispered through tears.

    
Her tears didn’t even move me, not anymore. “
Y
our point is
? It’s just sex Sienna.
You were gagging for it
, so why not? It was righ
t there and you were quite easy.
”
I smiled
wickedly at her, enjoying her tortured face. “A pussy is a pussy. A man can get it anywhere and
from now on
—I will surely be fucking and will be getting fucked by Camilla, my future wife.”

     She gripped the back of the chair and for some reason,
it
reminded me of her calamitous visit
to
my office in South Bank—the one where she confronted me with my engagement, the
hellish
irony.

     The room was deafening, I
could
hear her erratic breathing as she took
in
the news. When she looked up, the hurt in her eyes
almost
—almost made me want to reach out to her. “You can’t do that—you mustn’t.”

     “Too late
,
” I shrugged without care.

     She was sobbing. “
But I love you
…I’ve been in love with you.”

     My eyes misted with anger
at her confession
. “How bloody fucking con
venient
! Let’s stop the charade, I’m growing rather bored.”

     “
But I do love you Blake
—I lied because I was scared. But I’m tired of being scared. I wanted to start living my life—that’s why I came here speak to you. I wanted to give us another try—and for me to do that, I had to forgive you and
I did
… and I have
,
forgiven you.”

     “
Do you know how I longed to hear you utter those three words?
I used to dream about it—
I
wanted it so bad
—
I wanted
you
so bad
,
it hurt. But you fucking didn’t give a hoot about any of that. Sex was
all
you wanted from me. You admitted it as such—there’s no need to lie anymore. It’s over.”

     Nodding as she wiped a tear. “
I guess it really is,”
s
he
sniffed.
“I really am very sorry, Blake. For all the intentional and the unintentional pain I caused you. I did it all because I
love
you.
This love
—with you was different from what I had with Kyle
. It was exquisitely intense,
it overpowered
all of my senses
—
and it terrified me
. I protected myself
by
wanting to shut you out
. B
ut you dissolved that layer of protection and I was
left
vulnerable.
That made me defensive.
But it’s all silly now isn’t it?”
S
he gave a small laugh.

    
“
For what it’s worth,
I just want you to be happy and if marrying her will make you happy—then I wholehearte
dly give
my blessing
.”

     She was about to leave but halted. “I’
m going to pack my thing
s
and leave
. Can you tell them that there was an emergency with Kyle and
that
he needed me there? I can’t face any of them right now. Um, I guess—I’
ll be seeing you
.”

     Giving me a brave genuine smile, she tore me apart. “Goodbye, Blake.”

     I stared at the shutting door, utterly flabbergasted.

    
She said she loved me—
for the very first time
a
nd now she’s leaving.

     She was lying, of course she was. Because she never did love me, if she did, she wouldn’t have waited
until
the very last minute.
But this is Sienna—
her rough
ened
childhood made her defensive and
it was the only
way
she knew how
to protect herself. Could she
possibly
be
telling me the truth?

     Do I want to spend the rest of my
life
trying to figure out
if
she meant those words or not?
Hell the fuck no!

     I sprinted through the main floor, through the stairs and towards her bedroom door. I didn’t even bother to knock
before I
let myself in
side
.

     Her luggage was on the bed and she was putting her neatly folded clothes inside. She kept wiping her tears away and sniffing softly.

    
Her back stiffened when I spoke.
“
I will give you a month
—a
month to show and prove to
me that you meant what you said downstairs. I will hold
off
any talks of my engagement for that allotted time. I’m not guaranteeing you anything. I don’t know if I
would
want you in my life after the month is over. It is purely up to you, if you want to do this or not.”

     “A month?” she asked
,
turning around.

     “Only a month
.
”

     Pressing her lips together and wiped another tear. “Okay, I
’ll
take it.”

     I felt relieved for some reason. “All right then, I guess you can unpack and rest a bit while I work for awhile.
You can keep this room but I expect you to share my bed every night.
”
She nodded and bit her bottom lip.

     “Blake?”

     “Yes?”

    
She looked so gorgeous it hurt
e
ven if she’s crying buckets and sniffing ‘til kingdom come, she
always
took
my breath away.
“Would it be too much if
I asked
you
to
kiss me?”

     She melted a
fraction
of my cold heart. “No, not at all as long as you promise to stop crying, I don’t like seeing you cry.” I
went to where
she stood and gently wiped her tears away.

    
When our lips touched, she sighed delightfully. I meant to kiss her for a minute or two—but
it was hard to pull away
once it started to get heated and ardent with passionate need.

     I
stopped when I tasted
tears and pulled away with worry. “What’s wrong?” I studied her face, but she smiled through her tears.

    
“I’m just happy—thank you for giving me this chance.” I nodded and left the room
with
troubled thoughts.

    
A month
, Knightly
….o
ne
long
ardu
ous month
, s
urely you can manage to not fall back in the throes of love
with
her by your side?

     Heaven help me if I do.

21

Sienna

    
The rest of the day
passed
qui
ckly. Luce was leaving tomorrow, so Chad and I tried to spend as much time with her. She trie
d
to avoid Toby as much as she could. The poor thing was so heartbroken anyone could see it every time he looked at her.

     We were having dinner on the shore below Blake’s villa. There
was
a huge table that
accommodated
all of us and the beach was alight with torches and a few bonfires.
There is
even an Arabian tent with all the colorful silks and beaded pillow trenched with thick wooden poles.
I suppose this is common around the area. The Moor influence was quite strong.
The tent reminded me of that time
when
Blake took me to a spa and told me for the first time how much he’s wanted me. It felt so long ago now
, I thought sadly.

     He’s been strategically avoiding me
since
he emerged from his study. He wasn’t blat
ant about it and he did it
so
subtlety that not even Chad or Luce noticed. But
I did
.
I noticed it and I pretended that it didn’t hurt me one bit.

    
Did he change his mind?
I started to think that he did. I suppose the whole thing was too good to be true.
I’ve never felt that kind of severe pain in my heart when he told me that he planned to marry Camilla again. I wanted the one month to validate how much I love him.

     The moon was high tonight. It was a bit chilly tonight but it was tolerable
while we were
consum
ing
alcohol. This was a private beac
h and it stretched for miles. T
he only people that can
stroll about were h
ome owners, so the area is totally
secure.

     Studying the moonlit path, I started to walk leisurely on the soft sand, loving the feel the soft waves as it pull
ed
in and out of the sea on my toes. I
held
the edges of my white dress so it wouldn’t get soaked with water.

     I sighed.
It was so beautiful here…

     “Do you mind if I join you?” Clive asked,
matching
my slow pace.

    
“Sure, why not?”
I didn’t even notice that he had followed me
out here
. Since Friday, we didn’t speak much. He was pleasant though—a
bit
arrogant—but endurable.

     We strolled along the shore for awhile without speaking. It was a comfortable silence
. “I gathered that you’re Blake’s? But apparently not his girlfriend?” Clive’s smooth tone was very firm but curious.

     Huh. “Well, I’m an ex, I suppose.”

     “
You’re a
n ex? But he still wants you I take it? I’ve noticed his eyes
set a
blaze when he looks at you.”
Blake has been looking at m
e
?

     I stopped walking and looked back. The fire that came from the beach party looked like a puny dot from where I was standing. I glanced back at Clive. He looked confident and handsome. The moonlight highlighted his striking face. Blake and Clive really won the lottery for the best DNA.