Chasing Dreams (Devil's Bend) (30 page)

They
sat in silence for a few more minutes, Cooper’s strong arms around her, making
her feel safe, secure for the first time in as long as she could remember.
Maybe it was the night or the man or possibly both, but Tessa suddenly felt the
urge to talk.

“Richie
was always the sensible one. The guy who liked to have fun, but he walked the
straight and narrow. When we fell in love, I think he was worried about what
that meant because I was hell on wheels. No matter how hard he tried, he
couldn’t keep me in line.

“We
broke up several times during the years we dated, especially when I was still
in high school after he graduated, but I think we both knew that we’d
eventually be together forever.” The tears were steadily streaming down Tessa’s
cheeks, but she didn’t try to wipe them away. It would’ve been pointless. “By
the time I was a junior in high school, my mother had already been diagnosed
with depression, but she didn’t take her medicine like she was supposed to. I
hated being at home, seeing her like that.”

Tessa
still felt like the worst daughter any mother could have because rather than
trying to help her mother, she’d managed to put distance between them.

“So,
I was gone from home more than I was there, and much of the time I would stay
with Richie, even though he had to sneak me in his window at night. I knew he
hated doing that because his parents would’ve been devastated to know their son
was lying to them, but he did it anyway. For me.

“I
hated working for other people, didn’t do well with authority of any kind, so
after I graduated from high school I would jump from job to job. As much as I
hated my father for not having anything to do with me or Adam, when he died and
left us
The Rusty Nail
, I knew it was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.
After talking to Richie, I decided I would go for it. I didn’t go to college,
both because I was broke but also because I didn’t want to. I hated school but
I still managed to graduate. I just couldn’t see myself sitting in class again,
so I refused.

“Taking
over the bar was supposed to be easy, or at least that’s what I told myself. I
mean it’s a bar, right? How hard could it be? Well, I soon learned that it
wasn’t just serving drinks. There was the inventory and accounting, taxes and
licenses. I learned real quick that I couldn’t just sit back and hope it worked
out. So, I took Richie’s college textbooks, and I studied them.” Tessa laughed
and sobbed at the same time. “He never even knew I did it, but I wanted to
successfully run the bar and I knew I had to learn somehow. So, between his
textbooks and the internet, I taught myself the accounting software. I found
out I was pretty good at it.”

Cooper’s
arm tightened around her, and Tessa relaxed. For the first time in as long as
she could remember, she felt lighter all of a sudden. Everything she’d held
inside for so long was spilling out, and she felt as though Cooper wasn’t
judging her.

God,
she prayed he wasn’t judging her because she couldn’t bring herself to stop
talking.

Cooper
held Tessa close, the only thing he paid attention to was the sound of her
voice and the heartbreaking story she was telling him. He wouldn’t interrupt
because as hard as he knew it was on her to talk about her past, he knew she’d
bottled everything up inside for so long that she needed to get it out.

“When
Richie finally asked me to marry him, I was ecstatic. I felt like I’d finally
made him proud of me. So, needless to say, we got married. It wasn’t anything
elaborate and my mother didn’t even come to the wedding, not that I had invited
her. Richie’s parents were there and so was Adam since they were friends.”

Cooper
couldn’t imagine his parents not being at his wedding. The thought of Tessa
getting married without the love and support of her family there with her made
his heart hurt.

“We’d
only been married for a couple of months when I got pregnant, and the idea of
having a baby was the most wonderful thing that could’ve happened to me. To
us.”

Tightening
his arm around her, Cooper pressed his lips against the top of her head as
another shudder wracked her body.

“I
was only fourteen weeks when I started spotting and cramping really badly. We
went to the doctor, and he said I was miscarrying, and there wasn’t anything
that could be done.”

When
her body started to shake uncontrollably, Cooper felt his own tears forming in
his eyes. She was breaking his heart right in two and he wanted to ease her
pain, but he knew there was nothing he could do but let her get it all out.

“I –
I wanted my baby more than anything in the world.” Tessa hiccupped. “I begged
God, pleaded with Him to let me have my baby.”

Tessa’s
sobs wracked her body, and she couldn’t speak for several minutes, but Cooper
didn’t rush her. He held her, letting her feel the warmth of his body against
hers, waiting until she was able to continue.

“After
that, I refused to get pregnant again. I couldn’t handle losing another child.
Richie and I managed to get through each day, but things weren’t easy between
us for a while. I probably wouldn’t have made it through it without him. He
always made sure that I knew he loved me, that he was there for me. Until him,
I had never known that kind of love. Never had someone to ensure I understood
just what I meant to them.”

Cooper
made a vow right then and there that Tessa would always know exactly how he
felt about her. She’d had that love only once in her life, and it had come from
her husband. He’d never be able to compete with the first man she’d loved, and
he would never try to. But Tessa had so much more love inside of her and Cooper
wanted to be the man she gave the rest of her heart to.

When
she was silent for long minutes, Cooper shifted so that he could look down at
her face. Her eyes were closed, the tears leaving streaks on her pale cheeks.
Lifting her face gently, he pressed a soft kiss against her mouth. “I’m here,
Tessa. I’ve got you.”

Another
round of sobs shook her, but when Tessa’s arms wrapped around him, and she held
on for dear life, Cooper’s world shifted on its axis. He loved this woman.
Heart and soul.

Cooper
had no idea how long he and Tessa ended up sitting outside the night before.
He’d held her until his ass was numb from sitting on the ungiving wood porch,
but he would’ve endured hours more if she’d have needed him to. They hadn’t
moved an inch until Izzy and Eric came around the house to let them know they
were heading home. Tessa had felt terrible and told them as much, but her
friends had told her not to worry. Cooper knew she had anyway.

After
checking in with Dalton, Cooper had taken Tessa inside, making sure the dogs
had a place to sleep before he took her to his bedroom. At that point, they’d
talked for several more hours, and this morning, as he lay with Tessa in his
arms, he felt as though he knew her better than he knew anyone else. And vice
versa.

They’d
been open and honest with one another, more so than Cooper had expected. She’d
answered every question he’d asked, and he’d done the same. They talked about
high school, friends, enemies, and even some of the rowdy things they’d both
done at that age. And she was right, according to her stories, she’d been hell
on wheels as a teenager, but then again, so had he. The difference between them
was that he had come from a loving home where he’d been the center of his
parents’ attention. Hers was the opposite. And he understood her better now.

He
didn’t pretend to know what it felt like to grow up the way Tessa had, but he
assured her that it wasn’t her fault. He’d been just as rowdy, and he didn’t
have his parents to blame. Cooper wasn’t sure Tessa would ever fully forgive
herself for the things she’d done, but he tried to summarize all of the ways
she had turned herself around based on everything he knew about her.

She
had explained how she volunteered as a youth counselor at her church, how she
had continued to work for Mr. Deluth – for free, mind you – years after her
punishment had been lifted. She told him how she still helped with the Austin
Police Department’s Blue Santa program every year around the holidays and how
she selflessly helped at one of the no-kill animal shelters in the neighboring
town, which was, in fact, where she’d found Havoc and Harmony.

Tessa
was the most generous person he’d ever met. Every single thing she did was for
someone else because she had this illogical belief that she had to pay everyone
back for the things she’d done as a teenager. Cooper admired all of the things
she did, and finally, he had convinced her to see that she did those things
because she wanted to, not because she had to. For once, she had agreed with
him.

And
at that point, even though they were both exhausted, Cooper wasn’t sure he’d be
able to let Tessa sleep. When he gave in to the urge to put his hands on her,
she’d been too worried that Dalton would hear them, so he had held off on
tormenting her, choosing rather to make love to her only once before they
crashed just after four in the morning.

And
now as they lay in his bed, Tessa stirred in his arms, the silky strands of her
hair tickling his arm when she moved. Leaning down, he kissed the top of her
head and waited to see if she was awake.

When
she didn’t rouse, he figured he needed to get up. The sunlight was just
beginning to come in through his windows, and he knew his parents would be
there soon. They had called him the day before to let him know they were
driving down to visit. And yes, he had knowingly kept that a secret from Tessa.
No sense in worrying her even more.

After
making a pot of coffee, Cooper let the dogs out the back door and joined them
on the porch. Sliding into one of the plastic chairs, Cooper stared out at the
land in front of him as the sun continued its remarkable ascent into the sky.

“Mornin’.”
Tessa’s drowsy voice came from behind him a second before her arms wrapped over
his shoulders and around his neck.

“Mornin’,
baby,” he greeted her, his hands landing on her arms, enjoying the softness of
her against him. “Sleep well?”

“Not
too bad,” she answered and he heard the smile in her voice.

A loud
bark had Tessa pulling away. “Thanks for letting them out this morning. You
should’ve woken me up.”

“They’re
easy to manage,” Cooper told her, glancing at her over his shoulder. “And
anyway, you needed the sleep.”

Tessa’s
knockout smile made his heart lurch in his chest. He’d spend the rest of his
life trying to make her smile like that if she would let him. However, he knew
now wasn’t the time to try and push that issue. One day at a time is what they
agreed to, and he was trying damn hard to stick to his word. It was a little
harder now that he knew that he loved her.

Grabbing
her arm, he pulled her around in front of him and then down onto his lap.
Placing his hand on her bare thigh, he smiled. “My dad and mom will be here in
a bit,” he warned her, taking in the fact that she was wearing only his button
down shirt. Since it came to her knees, he knew she was modestly covered, but
she probably wouldn’t appreciate meeting his parents for the first time dressed
like that.

“Here?
Today?” Her voice was high and thin, and if he wasn’t mistaken, there was a
hint of fear in her eyes.

“Yep.
So, go on in and take a shower. You’ve got time.”

“But
Coop –” She started to argue as she rose to her feet.

“No,
‘buts’, Tessa. Just do it.” He laughed as he smacked her on the butt. “I’ll
handle the dogs and Dalton will be up shortly.”

Without
another word, she disappeared inside. Maybe he should’ve warned her in advance
that his parents were coming, but Cooper truly wanted her to meet them. He knew
Tessa, and if she had any sort of advanced notice, she’d probably have come up
with at least one excuse. Probably more.

Half
an hour later, Cooper was just finished frying the bacon and scrambling enough
eggs to feed a small country when there was a knock on the front door. His
father’s booming voice was the first warning, followed by the excited barks of
Tessa’s dogs.

“Come
in,” he hollered over the loud barks.

After
scooping the eggs on a plate and tossing a paper towel over them, he ventured
into the front room where his parents stood petting the dogs like they’d been
friends all their life.

“Momma,”
Cooper greeted his mother, giving her a kiss on the cheek when she stood. “How
was the trip?”

“Oh,
you know your father,” she teased. “Sometimes I worry that his foot’s on the brake
and not the gas.”

“Oh,
hush, woman,” his father belted out as he stood to his full height, which was
eye level with Cooper. “Too fast. Too slow. It’d be easier if she’d just tell
me how fast she wants me to drive and I set the cruise control.”

“Why
didn’t you mention that before? That would make it so much easier,” Becca
Krenshaw teased as she poked her husband in the ribs.

“Watch
it, woman,” David said with a smile. “So, this is the house, huh?”

Cooper
glanced around the room, trying to see the house for the first time through his
father’s eyes. “Yup, this is it. It needs some work, but I like it.”

“It’s
charming,” his mother said as she moved through the open living room. “Open,
airy, just like a country house should be.”

Cooper
bit back his laugh. His parents lived in a four thousand square foot cabin in
the Smoky Mountains, so this was like a cardboard box in comparison to their
three story retreat.

“Is
that food I smell?” David asked, his hand landing firmly on Cooper’s shoulder.

“Yes,
sir,” Cooper answered, glancing down the dim hallway as they made their way
toward the kitchen. He was surprised Tessa hadn’t appeared yet. Then again, if
she had her way, she would probably hide out in his bedroom until she thought
the coast was clear.

Not
that he was going to let her.

When
the back screen door opened and then shut, Cooper turned abruptly to see his
angel in blue jeans standing in the doorway, a shy smile on her face. Sneaky
woman. She must’ve snuck out the back door when his parents arrived so she wouldn’t
be caught coming out of his bedroom.

Cooper
saw the dogs running down the back porch steps which meant she had done exactly
that when he had been greeting is parents.

“Hey,
darlin’,” Cooper said, heading straight for her. “Mom, Dad, this is Tessa
Donovan. Tessa, this is my mother, Becca, and my father, David.”

“Oh,
she’s a beauty,” Becca swooned as she moved in close, grabbing both of Tessa’s
hands in hers and then pulling her in for a hug. That was his mother. She
didn’t have any respect for personal space whatsoever when it came to the
people in her life.

“Woman,
let her be,” David said with a laugh after a good thirty seconds or so.

“Why
don’t y’all head on out to the table on the back porch and Tessa and I will
bring the food out.” Cooper held the door open for his parents as they
disappeared outside.

“Dalton
up yet?” he asked Tessa when he turned back to face her.

“I
heard him moving around, but I haven’t seen him yet. Want me to go get him?”

“Nah.
Once he smells the food, he’ll come runnin’.”

By
the time the four of them were sitting at the table on the back porch, Dalton
came cruising out the back door, sniffing the air with a grin on his face.
“Mornin’, Mr. and Mrs. Krenshaw. Tessa. Thanks for calling me for breakfast,
jackass.” Dalton aimed the last jab at Cooper, making the entire table laugh.

“Dalton,”
David greeted. “Good to see you, boy.”

“You
too, sir,” Dalton grinned as he pulled out the chair between Tessa and Becca.
“Y’all saved me the best seat in the house.”

Definitely
a charmer, that boy was. For the next few minutes, everyone ate, the
conversation surprisingly comfortable. Tessa joined in when the questions were
directed at her, which a lot of them were considering Cooper’s parents were
obviously interested in getting to know her. Surprisingly, she didn’t seem at
all bothered by answering them.