Chasing Destiny (25 page)

“I’m sorry, but I don’t need more time. I can’t marry you. I’m so sorry, but… I just
can’t.
”

He was losing her. She was slipping away. He palmed both sides of her face, demanding her full attention. “Damn it, Cass! I
love
you.” He pressed his lips against hers, believing his kiss could say what he couldn’t convey with words; praying he could topple the emotional walls she’d erected since Landon’s arrival. He pulled away, resting his forehead against hers; his hands still cupping her beautiful face. “Don’t walk away. Not when we’re so close to everything we’ve ever wanted”, he pleaded breathlessly.

Cassie gripped his wrists with her hands. “I have to”, she whispered as her voice began to crack. “Please, don’t make this harder than it already is.”

“It doesn’t have to be hard, baby. Stay with me… say
yes
.”

The back of her eyes were beginning to sting and she blinked back the tears as best as she could. “I can’t. I have to get back.” She started to walk away. She made it all the way to the first step when Jacob rushed after her and took her by the hand, preventing her from escaping. She turned to look at him one last time. Steady streams of tears were now falling and she wiped them away with her free hand as she spoke. “Please don’t follow me. If you love me as much as you say you do, you’ll let me walk away.” Jacob stared into her watery eyes and she could see the unmistakable hurt behind his. His gaze was steady as his grip loosened. “I will always cherish the time we spent together this week”, she said softly, and then turned and walked away.

* * *

Cassie opened the door to her suite and closed it behind her. As soon as Landon placed his luggage on the ground he advanced toward her. He swept her up into his arms and kissed her, exploring her mouth as if he’d forgotten how it felt and how it tasted. He ambled toward the king-size bed and placed her on it, his lips never leaving hers. He positioned himself above her, leaving her mouth behind and exploring the soft, fragrant skin on her neck. She closed her eyes in an attempt to escape. She couldn’t make love to Landon—not here—not now.

She gently pushed her hands against his chest, interrupting his re-acquaintance with her body. “I’d really like to take a hot bath”, she explained.

Landon hovered above her and smiled before taking off his shirt. He brushed his lips across hers as he spoke. “Okay, we can continue this in the tub.”

Cassie placed one of her fingers over his lips, preventing him from kissing her again.”Actually, I’d like to relax…
alone.
I won’t be too long.” Landon
studied her for a moment before rolling off
of her petite body. She stood and journeyed to the bathroom, making sure to
lock the door behind her
.

She twisted the faucet, filling the deep, claw-foot tub with scalding water and a few drops of lavender oil she found on the vanity to entice relaxation. After stripping down to her bare skin, she dipped her legs, one at a time, into the blazing liquid; feeling the tension melt away as she submerged her body further.

Behind the privacy of the bathroom door, protected in a therapeutic elixir, her guarded heart tore open, releasing an agonizing surge of pain. The intensity amplified, saturating every cell of her body and smothering her lungs. She gasped for air as the level of despair rose higher and higher. Her wounds were open and exposed, catapulting her into an inescapable black hole. She covered her mouth and clenched her eyes shut, struggling to suppress the overwhelming sensation, knowing she wasn’t strong enough to keep it hidden any longer.

Tears fled from her eyes and her body trembled as it released her emotional cancer. Visions of Jacob pleading for her to spend the rest of her life with him invaded her mind. The look in his eyes before she walked away haunted her; he loved her… and she was in love with him, too. She didn’t want to
walk away, but she had no choice
.

She wholeheartedly cared about Landon; she didn’t want to hurt him. She’d spent much of last night awake contemplating her decision. Landon would love her and give her the stability she needed, but she wanted more. She wanted a life partner, a father to her future children, a passionate connection that could stand the test of time. She wanted the fairytale.
She wanted Jacob.

After the ceremony she looked for him; she wanted to tell him
yes. Yes
, she would marry him and
yes
, she was still madly in love with him. Minutes after reaching the deck, everything changed. Landon was suddenly standing with his arms wrapped around her, his eyes genuinely happy to see her. He’d finally rearranged his priorities, his focus solely on her for the first time since they embarked on their relationship nearly two years ago. He was making an effort, but that wasn’t the reason she’d turned down Jacob’s proposal.

Landon and Jacob had a business relationship. This relationship resulted in Jacob’s promotion; a dream he’d had since college. It would have only been a matter of time before Landon realized that the woman he loved left him for a colleague. Landon may not have been the jealous type when it came to personal relationships, but she couldn’t say the same when it came to business. Betrayal in the business world infuriated him and she had no doubt that he would retaliate. She couldn’t let that happen—she refused to be an accomplice to the murder of Jacob’s career.
She had to walk away.

Her sobs became louder at the realization of her actions. She allowed fear to coerce her into abandoning true love. Fear of Landon’s retribution and fear that Jacob would resent her for it.

* * *

Landon stripped down to his boxers and retrieved a bottle of water from the mini-fridge before returning to the bed. He stacked two pillows on top of one another for better comfort and waited for Cassie to return. She seemed different somehow tonight, he acknowledged. She was edgy, distant, and he had a pretty good idea why. It was no secret that she wanted to get married; to start a family. Witnessing the nuptials of two close friends only further validated the stagnant nature of their own relationship. It disheartened her; observing what she’ll never have and—

An unmistakable noise was emanating from the bathroom and Landon abruptly sat up in bed. He placed his water bottle on the mirrored nightstand beside him and crept to the bathroom door. As he moved closer, his worst fears were confirmed; Cassie was sobbing and his heart plummeted in his gut at the discovery. He reached for the knob and gave it a twist, but it was locked. He softly knocked on the door before speaking. “Honey, is everything alright?”

Cassie quickly opened her eyes and wiped the tears away. “Um… Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be out in a minute”, she shouted to him from the other side.

She released the drain and reached for her towel. She dried her body and put on a silky, black camisole slip and opened the bathroom door. Landon sat on the bed with his back leaned against the upholstered headboard and watched as she approached the bed from the opposite side. She climbed in and pulled the covers over her flawless body and closed her eyes. She heard a sigh escape from Landon and then felt his hand caressing her arms. It started at her wrist and slowly moved toward her shoulder. His body moved closer as his hand tugged on the front of her slip, revealing one of her firm breasts.

His tongue grazed her nipple as a deep groan evaded his throat. “God, I missed you. I flew over two-thousand miles to taste you”, he mumbled softly. He tugged on the bottom of her slip until it was bunched around her waist.

His lips caressed her taut stomach and she could feel his warm breath heavy against her skin.

“I want to taste you”, he whispered, “Right here.” His hand settled between her legs as his mouth trailed lower on her stomach.

“Landon—”

“Shh. Relax”, he groaned softly. He wanted to pleasure her; to distract her mind from her sadness. He wanted to watch as her body quivered with delight—to relish her release.

“Landon, please stop”, she softly pleaded. He raised his head to meet her gaze. “It’s been a long day and I have an early flight to catch.” She turned her body away from him and could almost feel his eyes still staring at her in disbelief. She’d never shied away from his advancements, but she was in love with someone else. Her body was unable to respond to Landon’s touch—he wasn’t Jacob. She didn’t want to hurt Landon—she just needed more time. Time to mend her broken heart and time to love Landon the
way he deserved
.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Statuesque piles of patient charts littered Cassie’s desk as she entered her office. She placed her food tray on her chair and nudged the piles toward the edges to make room for it. After placing the food tray on the cleared desktop, she reached for a chart on top of one of the stacks and opened it. She’d planned to take a quick lunch break, although ironically there was no
break
involved. She was still playing catch-up from her trip to Maine last month and it had become routine to work during lunch.

She took a bite of the mystery meat on her tray and chewed slowly. She’d never been a fan of hospital cafeteria food, but walking to one of the nearby sandwich shops or café’s encroached on time; something she didn’t seem to have enough of these days. She thumbed through the patient’s chart, assessing their progress and noting changes to make to their therapy regimen, when her secretary knocked on the door and entered her office. She handed her a folded piece of paper with her name written on the outside before retreating back to her desk. Cassie placed the chart on her lap and opened the folded paper.

Cassandra,

Sorry I missed you. I just got back into town. Please have dinner with me tonight. My place—6:00pm.

Love,

Landon

Cassie folded the paper and placed it in her lap on top of the chart. She ran her hands through her golden hair and let out a frustrated sigh. They’d been back from Maine for almost a month and Landon had been away on business for much of that time. She’d only seen him a handful of times since they’d returned and truthfully, she’d been avoiding spending time alone with him ever since. She picked up her phone and dialed his number.

“Hey, honey”, he answered.

“Hey. You’re back early—I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I know. I really missed you—I couldn’t wait for tomorrow.”

Cassie smiled. “What time did you get back?”

“A little over an hour ago—I drove straight to the hospital to surprise you, but your secretary said you were getting lunch. I would’ve stuck around, but I had some business things to take care of. So, about dinner… can you come?”

“I don’t think so”, she answered softly. “I’ve got a ton of work to catch-up on.”

Landon sighed in obvious frustration. “Cassandra, what’s going on? I’ve barely seen you since we returned from the wedding.”

“Need I remind you that you’ve been out of town practically five days out of every week the last month?” she explained defensively.

“I’m not talking about when I’m out of town; I’m talking about when I’m
here.
Look, I’m not going to take no for an answer. I really
need
to be with you tonight.”

“Landon—I’m really behind. I’ve got
my partner breathing down my neck to get these charts completed and I just
can’t—”

“Okay, how about a compromise? We’ll move dinner to seven-thirty. That’ll give you an extra hour and a half to work on those charts and still leave us plenty of time to eat and… do
whatever.
I really want to see you—I
need
you…”