Chasing Destiny (24 page)

“… So you see—the idea of you and a guy like Jacob is completely ridiculous.
You’d never fall for a scheme like that and
I’m really sorry I let my mind briefly go there.”

Yeah, she was sorry, too. Sorry that she’d betrayed Landon and sorry that she’d allowed herself to seriously consider Jacob’s proposal.

* * *

Jacob sat at the head table, blindly pushing his gourmet dinner around his plate with his fork. His focus was steady on the table adjacent to his and the dance floor. Cassie and Landon’s backs were turned; they were engaged in conversation, although he couldn’t decipher what about. They didn’t appear to be arguing, but they weren’t overly affectionate toward one another either. He couldn’t think of anything crueler than having to witness their interplay. Landon’s arm was resting along the back of her chair when he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. It wasn’t a passionate one—just a simple peck on the lips, but it tormented him just the same.

Hostility settled in the pit of his stomach, his restlessness evident by his inability to remain stationary in his chair. He ran his fingers through his thick, dark hair and slowly exhaled in an attempt to regain his composure. When he glanced again toward their table, Landon’s chair was suddenly empty. Finally observing an opportunity to speak to her, he quickly stood from his seat.

Tanner grabbed his wrist. “Jacob, don’t do this—not now”, he pleaded in a low tone.

“Sorry, bro—I have to. This may be my only chance to catch her alone; I have to talk to her.”

He quickly rushed toward her, bracing one of his hands on the back of her chair and the other on the table. “What is he doing here?” he demanded. “I thought you said he wasn’t coming.”

“He finished business early in Seattle. I didn’t know he was coming—I’m just as surprised to see him here as you are.”

“Have you thought about my proposal?”

“Jake, we can’t talk about this right now. Landon’s going to be back any second and—”

“
Jacob—it’s good to see you
!” Landon exclaimed as he approached from behind. He extended his arm and Jacob firmly shook his hand.

“You too.”

“How’s everything been going?” Landon asked.

Jacob stared into Cassie’s eyes as he answered. “Things couldn’t be better.”

Her anxiety level was off the chart—
she needed to get away and she needed to do it quickly. Cassie stood up and reached for her gold clutch.

“Honey, where are you going?” Landon asked.

She attempted her best smile, praying that it appeared genuine. “I need to use the restroom. I won’t be gone long.”

She eagerly exited the tent and climbed the steps to the dimly lit deck. Once inside the cottage, she entered the guest bathroom by the den and locked the door behind her. She held a washcloth under the faucet and wrung-out the excess water before placing it on the back of her neck. She closed her eyes and concentrated on her breathing; slowly inhaling through her nose and exhaling the air through her mouth. Gradually her rapid pulse began to calm and when she opened her eyes she suddenly became aware of where she stood.

Just over twenty-four hours ago she’d snuck away from the rehearsal dinner and had met Jacob here. He’d held her body with his strong arms and kissed her passionately. Recalling the sensation brought a smile to her face, one that quickly faded as she suddenly became
aware of her reflection. She didn’t
recognize that girl staring back at her and
that admission frightened her.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Convinced that she was finally calm enough to return, Cassie left the cottage and entered the colossal, white canopy. Jacob and Landon were still engaged in conversation, although Landon seemed as though he was doing most of the talking. Once he was on the subject of business it was difficult to interject.

Moments after she’d returned the
music transitioned into a soft, slow
melody. Couples migrated to the dance floor like moths to a flame and when Landon excused himself from the conversation he’d been having with Jacob,
she knew why
.

He held out his hand. “Cassandra, let’s dance.”

She hesitated for a moment. “I don’t know if—”

“Oh c’mon—I promise not to step on your toes.”

Cassie smiled nervously and then quickly glanced at Jacob. “Um, okay”, she responded softly.

Jacob watched helplessly as Landon led her onto the dance floor and pulled her body close to his. His hands rested just below the small of her back as he buried his face against the side of her neck. Jacob’s demeanor went from bad to worse; he needed to get the hell out of there. He snatched two glasses of champagne and fled the tent in search of some fresh air and his sanity.

* * *

“Have I told you yet that you look absolutely beautiful tonight?” Landon asked as they slow-danced.

“Yes you did, thank you.”

Landon buried his face against the side of her neck. “Mmm—you smell really good, too” he stated in a low seductive groan. He brushed his lips against her skin, spreading little kisses across the surface of her neck and jaw.

“Landon—”

“You’re so tense.
Relax…
”

This wasn’t good. People were watching—
Jacob
could be watching
. She’d never felt as uncomfortable in her own skin as she did at that very moment. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but as the evening
progressed, she knew it was
practically unavoidable.

“Pardon me, may I cut in?” Tanner asked.

Landon broke free from his hold and smiled. “Well, I suppose I can’t say no to the groom.” He glanced at his watch. “It’s still early on the west coast. I’ve got a few business calls to make anyway.”

Tanner took her by the hand and spun her around. He placed one hand on her back and held one of her hands in his. “Hi.”

Cassie grinned; Tanner’s gentleman ways always had that kind of effect on her. “Hi.”

“I want you to know how sorry I am about keeping the truth from you. I hope you can find it in that good heart of yours to forgive me.”

“You’re forgiven.”

“Thank you.”

“So, how are you holding up? I take it that you were surprised to see Landon here tonight.”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah.”

“You know… Jacob’s absolutely crazy about you—he always has been. Do you want to know what I think?”

This was so typical of Tanner; al
ways giving his opinion whether you
wanted to hear it or not. “What?” she asked cordially.

Tanner ended their slow-dance and grabbed her by the hands. His eye’s bored into hers, commanding her undivided attention. “Destiny is hard at work. Everything that’s happened up until this very moment is a result of it. Landon was supposed to be absent, you were meant to be here alone, and Jacob was destined to propose. You two have the kind of chemistry that only comes once in a lifetime; anyone with half a brain can see it. Fate brought you this far, and now it’s up to you.” Tanner kissed her on the back of her hand as the tempo sped up and then
walked away in search of his bride
.

Cassie glanced at her table; Landon hadn’t yet returned. Her mind was cluttered, misfiring information and disabling her ability to reason. She advanced toward the dimly lit deck, coming to a halt at the railing. No matter what she ultimately decided, someone was going to get hurt and it tore her to pieces at the thought of it. She crossed her arms as she inhaled the brisk, coastal breeze and noticed that she wasn’t alone; Jacob was seated below her on the lower deck. She ambled toward the steps, gripping the railing as she descended down them.

The absent moon obscured the private patio, allowing her the opportunity for a private moment with him for the very first time since his proposal.

“Hi—mind if I join you?” she asked.

Jacob smiled as she approached. “Not at all.”

She took a seat in the Adirondack chair next to him and they sat in silence for a few awkward moments before she
spoke again. “It was a really nice
c
eremony
.”

“Yes it was”, he commented dryly.

“I can’t believe how well everything came together. The reception tent looks like a grand ballroom. Yesterday the reception area looked so plain and… sterile.”

Jacob chuckled softly. “Yeah, I guess it kind of did.” Jacob turned to look at her, their eyes connecting. “Please tell me you sought me out to tell me yes.”

Cassie lowered her head and let out a sigh. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“Why, because of Landon? I think we both know if he’d never come here tonight, your answer would be different.”

She shook her head. “I let myself get carried away the last few days; seeing Landon again put everything in perspective.”

“Cassie, don’t bullshit me. You feel something for me—I
know
you do. The other night when you came to my suite—”

“The other night in your suite was… perfect, but it was
one night
. I got lost in the moment—I’ve been lost ever since. You aren’t my reality… Landon is.”

He clenched his jaw, trying to control his temper. “Are you in love with him?” he demanded.

“Jake, please—”

“Cassie—it’s a valid question and a pretty simple one to answer:
yes or no
.”

She stared at her trembling hands resting in her lap. He was right—it should be an easy question to answer, but it wasn’t. It was a question that made her uncomfortable, but one he deserved an answer to. “Landon loves me very much and… and I care very deeply about him, too.”

“That’s not what I asked you.”

“What do you want me to say, Jake?”

“The truth—you’re not in love with him.” Jacob caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “You’re in love with
me
.” He lifted her chin with his fingertips. “Please, look at me. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me you love me.”

Silent tears fell as she gazed into his eyes. “I can’t do that”, she whispered.

Jacob pulled away, leaning forward in his chair. With his arms resting on his lap, he bowed his head. An explosion of panic erupted within his gut. Hours earlier he was confident and convinced that she’d finally allowed herself to feel; to disentangle herself from the fear that had crippled her. This was not the same woman that arrived at the ceremony earlier this evening—she was long gone. The woman sitting next to him was tense, remorseful, and
afraid
; afraid of hurting a man that she genuinely cared about, afraid of uncertainty, and terrified to follow her heart.

He ran both of his hands through his dark hair and sighed. “Okay—you’re obviously overwhelmed and I apologize for putting you on the spot like that. You don’t have to answer right now. Take more time to think about it—as much time as you need.” Jacob stood up and reached for her hands, assisting her to her feet. “Don’t walk away from me—from
us.
”