Chasing Cassidy (25 page)

Your dad was so big and scary back then, I thought he might have been a real life ogre.

“Cassidy,” he calls again, more insistent this time and I snap out of it, slowly raising my eyes to his.

“I’m sorry, Cassidy. Shit, I’m so sorry, I thought you’d like it.” His eyes are filled with tears; I scared him.

Pulling his head against mine, I whisper, “I love it, Zack, so much. And it’s hard to explain right now, but it makes me feel… it makes me feel so
very
loved.” My eyes close in shame as he sucks in a sharp breath. When his lips crash against mine, I’m shocked. Those tingles I love so much are intensified in a way I’ve never felt before. As our lips part, I cry out softly, “God, Zack, I love you. I love you so much and I’m so sorry.” My tears are falling relentlessly as this new emotion washes over and through me.

“I love you, too, Cassidy.
So fucking much
.”

“Turn around. I’d like to see it again.” Releasing me, he slowly turns around and the new tattoo is staring me right in the face. It’s an intricate drawing, like what you’d see in a fairy tale. It’s a forest with a tiny dark house in the background. There’s a big, ugly, scary ogre looming over a knight in shining armor. Your first instinct would be to be afraid for the knight, but as your eyes adjust to the picture, you can see his sword is lodged into the ogre’s chest and his scary look could perhaps be one of pain. There are three drops of blood dripping from the wound, but the bottom one is shaped into a small heart. Unless you were looking directly at it, you’d never notice it. Immediately, I know why there are only three drops.

I

Love

You

This is his way of showing me he’ll always be the one to slay my demons. I place a feather light kiss against his skin and he takes my hand, leading me to the bed. Zack climbs in after me and spoons me from behind. He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “I love you, Cassidy Pope, for now and for always.”

I fell asleep in Zack’s arms and had the most peaceful sleep I can ever remember. Zack made love to me as the sun came up and then once again in the shower. I’m blissfully happy, my life is falling into place, and everything I’ve ever questioned is no longer frightening.

Over my morning coffee, my excitement begins to build. Rylee should be here in just a few minutes. As much as I’ve enjoyed this time with Zack, it will be really nice to see my other best friend. I’m curious to see how Ry and Pete will hit it off and how Nick will act when he gets here. Even more so, I’m dying to know how Nick and Ry will react to each other now that Zack has given them his blessing,
if
they choose to take that route.

“Here you are, beautiful. I was wondering where you wandered off to.” Zack was on the phone with Nick, confirming flight information, when I came outside to enjoy the view.

“I think this might be my favorite spot in the entire house.”

“Have you thought anymore about living here permanently?” There’s a hopeful glimmer in his eyes. I can see how badly he wants this for us. I want it, too, and he’s given me so much—the least I can do is agree to move and make him happy.

“I have and I think I’d like to do it. I want this to be our home, Zack, where we can grow old together and make beautiful memories.”

“And babies, Cassidy, lots and lots of babies. I want a family with you. Can we agree on that?”

Babies.

“Hello! Anyone home?!” Thank God, saved by Rylee. Zack’s frustration is obvious but he won’t get into this in front of Ry.

“This discussion isn’t over, Cassidy. We still need to talk about this,” he says, standing and offering me his hand.

Rylee is in the living room looking out the window when we walk in. “Isn’t it gorgeous here, Cassidy? Aren’t you just absolutely in love with it?” she squeals as she wraps me into a big hug.

“Don’t you ever disappear on me like that again. On
anyone,
for that matter. We were worried sick about you, and before you bitch that we’re past this already, I know we are. But it’s the first time I’ve actually seen you to scold you. Sisters don’t do that to each other and I don’t expect there to be a next time but if there is, you better come talk to me first.”

“Jesus, Ry, want to take a breath anytime soon? Leave her alone, she’s fine,” Zack replies dryly, defending my honor.

“Whatever, big brother, you’ve got bigger problems, anyway. I bumped into momzilla when I was checking in at the hotel.”

“Great. What did she have to say?” he mutters and heads to the bar, grabbing the scotch. He must still be really upset if he’s going to drink now—it’s not even noon. Rylee gives him an appraising look as he takes a sip but he only glares back at her as if daring her to say something.

This is more than just Priscilla; he’s mad about the baby discussion.

“She said she was coming here with Dad today and he would be calling you. She seemed... subdued? I don’t know what it is exactly, but there’s definitely something different about her.”

“Well, I would assume when your husband of thirty years leaves you because you’re a lying bitch, it would affect you somehow.”

“Zack,” I scold him gently, “you need to hear her out. Sometimes things really aren’t what they seem.”

Both he and Ry are looking at me like I’ve sprouted two heads, but I just don’t have it in me to hate anyone or hold on to anger. I haven’t found it helpful over the years so I’ve learned to let it go. The residual effect of anger is pain and I’ve got enough of that for multiple lifetimes.

It’s only now that I notice Pete standing quietly in the kitchen, sipping on his coffee. He picked up Ry from the airport, took her to the hotel, and then brought her here. I love how observant he is and from the look on his face, he agrees with what I’ve just said.

“Cassidy,” Ry chastises while throwing her hands up in the air, “you are
too
forgiving! She’s walked all over you for
years
and… Ugh!”

“Ry’s right, babe,” Zack chimes in, siding with Rylee. “My mother needs to learn a lesson about common decency. What she did to you didn’t just affect you, it affected us all. We’re here because of her.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Now they’re exchanging concerned glances. They are both too stubborn for their own good. Pete leans against the counter, getting comfortable, as if he’s waiting for me to put them in their place. Score one for Pete; he knows who’s going to win this one.

“Look, what Priscilla did to me sucked. There’s no way to sugarcoat that, so I won’t even try. But, while I regret how you felt when I ran out of the wedding, I don’t exactly regret
doing
it. This week has been eye opening in so many ways, and I’ve discovered so much about myself I thought I never would.”

I pause momentarily to try and get my emotions in check. “After your dad talked to us the other night, I almost felt sorry for your mom. This is your
family
. You are Stafford’s, born and raised, but you have no idea how hard it is to try and make yourself fit into that mold. Sure, I was raised mostly with you, like your dad pointed out, but I
still
went home. When you two were tucked tightly in your beds with hugs and kisses from your loving parents, I was being told how unlovable I was. Reminded the only thing love truly was is a four letter word people use to make themselves feel better about the sins they commit. And that was on a good night. On the bad nights, I was hit with a hand or a belt, sometimes a wooden object… usually a hanger. I was not only told love didn’t exist but the knowledge of it was beaten into me again and again.”

Silent tears are falling down my cheeks. Zack moves in closer to me while Rylee stands, frozen, with her own tears raining down and her hand covering her mouth.

“We all cope in different ways and for me it was getting out of bed every day with a smile on my face. Pushing past the bad and focusing on the good I had ahead of me. A day at school meant I was getting an education that would eventually help me get me away from the monsters who raised me. Spending time with the two of you, enjoying a relaxed environment, was the best. I would spend so much time trying to figure out how love could be so real in your house and so non-existent in my own. It was a puzzle that took
years
for me to solve.”

Pete hands me a bottle of water and I take a seat at the table and take a sip. They all follow suit and sit surrounding me.
Like a family.

“I’ve gotten off track, but my point is, not everyone comes from the kind of family you have. For all her weaknesses, Priscilla loves you both and has always shown you, albeit in her own way, how
much
you are loved. Maybe she wanted you with someone who had a similar upbringing because she knows how hard it is to fit into your world. Maybe she’s been miserable all these years and didn’t want you to end up with a wife who is just as miserable because she had to give up her dreams, too. Maybe, just maybe, she was trying to spare me the pain she went through in the only way she knew how, or maybe she’s just a bitch. My point is, she had a reason. She told you she thought she was protecting us, and we can afford her the decency of hearing her out.”

It’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop until Pete begins to clap. “Brava, Cassidy. She’s a keeper, Zack. Any girl who has been through hell and back and still looks for the absolute good in people is a gem.”

He eyes Rylee up and down seductively and she blushes. Zack doesn’t notice because his eyes haven’t left mine “You were right. Between the two of them, you’ll never stand a chance. I think that’s a good thing. I’ve got a feeling these two will never steer you wrong. I’ve got to go get some sleep but I’ll see you all tomorrow. Good luck, sunshine,” Pete says as he pats my shoulder.

“I’ll see you out.” Rylee jumps up and follows him to the door. She likes him, I can already tell.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get so depressing on you guys.”

“Don’t ever apologize for expressing your feelings. Not to me and not to anyone. I’ve always known things were hard for you. Over the years, you’ve talked some about the things that happened to you but never as fiercely as this.”

“Well, I didn’t know anything and I feel like an idiot,” Rylee says as she comes back into the room.

“You didn’t know anything because I never wanted you to feel sorry for me.”

“But you told
him
!
I’m
supposed to be your best friend.” She feels betrayed; it’s written all over her face.

“She didn’t, Ry, not exactly. At least not at first.”

Zack begins to tell Ry the story of what happened the day I finally admitted to him what was going on even though he knew it long before. I remember it like it was yesterday.

It’s the third time this week Nick has called and said he thought he heard a scream. Both of the other times he was right, so I race down the street on my bike as fast as I can until I get to his house. Leaving my bike on Nick’s lawn, I sneak across Cassidy’s driveway and up into the back yard.

The gate is open, which is odd since her dad doesn’t want anyone in his business and always closes it. As I creep closer, I hear her crying and finally spot her leaning up against the massive dog house in her back yard.