Chasing a Wolf: Moonbound Series, Book Four (10 page)

T
he cool night
air prickled Lani’s skin. She wasn’t cold though. Or warm. Or anything. Just numb.

Since seeing her mother on the floor of the elevator, she hadn’t been able to feel
anything
. The walls she’d built years ago to keep emotions out had sprung up again overnight and they were tamped down so tightly that not even her mate could get through.

It was too much.

Every time she peeked over those walls the pain threatened to swallow her whole. So she’d plodded forward, staying quiet. Staying detached from anything that could trigger a memory from the last two days.

The hike up the mountain had been long and silent, but the climb had been cathartic. She missed the scent of the trees and the sounds of the birds. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and let her gaze disappear into the snapping flames of the funeral pyres.

Zolin and her mother were being laid to rest in a ceremony of honor that would bind their ashes with the mountain. The volcano would keep them safe and they would have peace.

Their medicine man finished his prayer to the gods and then her father stepped forward to say his goodbyes. To the warrior he revered as a son. And to the broken women he’d cared and loved as his wife, even though Lani’s mother had never loved him.

She left Tomás’ side and joined her father at the edge of the ceremony circle.

He embraced her and kissed her forehead.

“I can’t feel anything,” Lani whispered.

“You have the fire of the mountain burning in your heart, little wolf. I can still feel you. Feel your magick. Take that strength and find your path with your mate. When you find that new home, be sure to bond to your new alpha so he can take care of you the way you deserve.”

“This is home. You are my only family. I can’t imagine leaving.”

“You will always be my daughter, Citlani, even if you are a thousand mountains away. You are not my blood, but I have loved you just the same. Your mother and Zolin would both want your safety above everything. It is not safe for you here any longer.” The chief took her hand and they walked around the circle to stand in front of Tomás. “It is up to you to protect her now, Tomás Rivera. You must take her far from this place.”

Lani translated for her mate.

He hesitated for a moment and then bowed his head. “I will.”

Her father smiled down at her mate. Tomás’ actions and answer had pleased him. The chief reached for Tomás’ hand and placed her palm against her mate’s.

She intertwined her fingers and breathed easier as Tomás’ magick ebbed and flowed around her like a gentle tide. Existence without him was impossible. Her mate was as integral to her life now as air.

The walls around her mind cracked ever so slightly and she reached for the comfort he’d been offering her.

As the ceremony ended, an old woman from the village approached and motioned for them to follow. “This is for you to rest. Your father says you need to rest before traveling in the morning.”

Citlani translated the words for Tomás, and he did his best to thank her.

“What about Alex?” he asked before she disappeared into the darkness.

The old woman turned and looked to Lani.

“Our friend?” Lani asked.

“He is being taken care of. Rest.”

“Thank you.” Lani turned to Tomás. “He is sleeping elsewhere. Don’t worry.”

Sleep.
Had she slept at all since…

She couldn’t remember. The images in her mind were either foggy or so frighteningly vivid forgot she was dreaming and started to scream. It gave new insight to the nightmares her mother had suffered from for so long. Over the years, she’d never understood why her mother hadn’t healed.

After meeting Adrian and getting a taste of what he was capable of, she knew now why her mother had never been able to heal. Tears ran down her cheeks. Her mother had run, in an attempt to lure Adrian away and Citlani had insisted in walking right into the fray.

If it hadn’t been for the huge sacrifices of Zolin, and Tomás, and his friends, she’d be exactly where her mother had feared.

Dead or dying at the hands of her father.

A sliver of fear threaded through her body. He’d come so close to killing them all. It was her fault. Most of it.

They wouldn’t have ever tried to break into his apartment if it hadn’t been for her pressing about her mother.

Zolin wouldn’t be dead. Maybe her mother would still be alive. Although, from what she’d seen in the hotel room, being a prisoner to that man was a fate worse than death.

Tomás sat down on the mat in the corner of the tent and pulled her down beside him.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and sobs wracked her body, sending little shudders up and down her spine. She wanted to wail and scream and cry. All the emotions she’d been pushing away and hiding from came creeping out of the corners.

“Just let me in.” He nuzzled the top of her head and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I’m drowning,” she sobbed. “My mother. Zolin. My father said goodbye and told me I have to leave the village. Everything I’ve ever known is here.”

“We’re going to figure it, out one day at a time. And I’m going to be right by your side the whole way. I love you so much.”

She lowered the walls around her mind, and a rush of sympathy and comfort from Tomás wrapped itself around her shoulders like a warm fur.

Their magick hummed together, swirling and spinning in the air between them.
He is with me. Completely.
Open. Warm and offering her anything she needed without demanding payment in return.

He didn’t use affection as a reward; it was hers because he wanted her to have it. Tomás had given it to her the second Zolin had bonded them together.

She’d just been too afraid to see it…feel it. And she hadn’t known how to return his affection…or love.

Love.
He loved her.

The sensation of his affection filtered through every thread of his consciousness and into hers. His very being pulsated with the repeating emotional circle of desire, then affection, then desire again.

“I—you are so much to me.” Did she love him? Citlani missed him when he wasn’t present. The lack of his touch made her anxious and uncertain.

Tomás caressed her face as happiness spread through him into her.

Even though she had to leave the mountain and everyone she knew, facing a new life with him would be surmountable. He’d help her learn what she needed to know.

About the world.

About life.

About love.

She could learn. He could teach her. He loved with such ease and abandon. She wanted that. Wanted to be able to feel without fear of what might come slamming down on top of her.

Tomás made her feel complete and no matter where she ended up, as long as she was with him. She would find her peace.

Lani slid her hand from his palm and traced the line of his arm up to his shoulder. “I need you.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his mouth.

He wrapped his arms around her body and laid her gently back on the mat. His tongue danced with hers for a moment before he began trailing kisses along her jaw line and tracing circles over a nipple with the tip of a finger.

She sighed, and let her doubts and fears slip away. They were replaced by the yearning need to care for this man who’d accepted her for who she was and pain she carried and would carry with her forever.

Crawling into that sex tent two days ago had been the best decision Fate had ever pushed her into.

F
our years
later

T
omás slid
his hand into his wife’s, wrapping fingers around hers, and squeezing just enough to remind her of his presence. They walked through the straw-covered huts that lined either side of the wide path that had first brought him up the mountain, all those years ago.

“Does he know we’re coming?” he asked, waving at a little boy hugging onto his mother’s strong legs in the door of one of the huts.

Lani inhaled, one sharp gust, then another. “He can feel me.”

A few more Huichol came out of their tents and huddled in groups, whispering. The last time they’d seen their princess, Citlani, she had been half-naked with long, flowing hair, and bare feet.

She only wore sandals now, but she was not the same woman who had been raised here. Her long, white maxi dress hid the hint of her pregnancy, and gave Tomás nightmares about the top slipping down and revealing her breasts. He still didn’t like the idea of her breastfeeding in public, although little Zed was too old to need feeding anywhere but at night, in the privacy of their home. Or hotel room. Or hut, apparently.

The biggest change, apart from her swelling belly, was her short hair. Looking at his smiling beauty of a wife, holding the hand of their three-year-old son, it was almost hard for Tomás to remember what she’d been like when he first saw her. He loved the asymmetric fall of the cut she’d been wearing for years.

New moms needed easy care, she’d said. She was right. Zed would have made a mess of the long tresses she used to have.

But the women of the village whispered, confused by the outsiders. If anyone recognized Lani, no one approached her.

They came up to the last rise before the fire circle and stopped beside the fork in the path. To the left, the fire and the sex tent. To the right, the springs, the chief’s hut, and the way to the volcano.

“Can you feel him?” Tomás asked, trying to sense his wife’s emotions. She wasn’t overwhelmed with nostalgia, but she didn’t have her walls up.

“I know he’s here. I don’t know—” A lump of emotion caught in her throat and he could feel the physical straining, burning behind her eyes. Tears.

Normally, he would close out her physical responses, but he was doubly on the lookout.

Zed couldn’t close off his connection to his mother, and Tomás didn’t want him to be cranky when he met his grandfather, for Lani’s sake as much as the chief’s.

He was a warm man, even if he used as few words as he could manage, and it would mean something to him to meet a smiling, happy grandson.

Tomás wanted this to be a good meeting. If he could have figured out a way to skip the winding eight-hour hike, he would have, but it was enough that they’d camped halfway and carried Zed most of the time.

Off to their right, Tomás heard a grunt and then something thudded to the ground. He looked around and finally saw the source of the noise. Up the hill, past the springs, stood the chief. Like Lani, he was barely breathing, and his mouth hung slack, wordless.

She dropped Tomás’ hand, picked up the edge of her white dress, and ran up the hill. On the way, she lost both sandals, and picked the dress up so high, Tomás could see her calves flashing. She launched into the chief’s arms and the smile on the old man’s face was enough to make Tomás let go of his vigilance over Lani’s feelings. Whatever he had been afraid of, she was experiencing her joy.

Tomás picked up Zed as he wandered off toward the fire circle. “No, no, no, let’s not go down there.” He swung his son up onto his shoulders and grabbed the little boy’s legs to hold him steady. “You’ll get a better view from up there.”

Zed squealed with childish delight as the trees seemed close enough to touch, and he swiped at them. Poor kid didn’t realize they were still ten feet above his head, but Tomás’s heart flipped a little at the fearless curiosity his son continued to show as he grew up.

Being the proud dad was a look he could get used to.

“That’s the fire pit,” he said to his son. “They do ceremonies there, and dancing. Maybe tonight, we’ll see some dancing.”

A fond warmth settled in his stomach when he saw the round, squat tent sitting down the hill, just waiting for the next wolf to claim his mate inside. “And that’s the s-e-x tent. Daddy will tell you all about that. When you’re much, much older.”

He walked up the path a little farther, pointing at the springs where he remembered bathing with Zolin looking on.

Zolin
.

It had been awhile since Tomás had thought of that name, and each time he did, he now thought of Zed. His little boy had the deep, intrepid heart that the big Huichol warrior had. The namesake could not have been more appropriate.

Lani called down to him in her native tongue and he shook his head. Sometimes she still forgot that he couldn’t understand her, although he was picking up some words. He could say
sex tent
, for instance. That phrase was growing on him, too.

“We’re coming,” he answered her in Spanish. “Zed wanted to see the fire pit.”

She reached for his hand, a big smile on her face. She said a few words to the chief and squeezed Tomás’s fingers in her own.

The chief gripped his shoulder and Tomás couldn’t suppress a choppy laugh. “He’s a strong guy, Lan.”

The chief spoke, catching his eye, and something about the timbre of his words caught Tomás’ breath.

“He says that you have brought his daughter back to him,” Lani translated. “And he is grateful.”

Tomás pulled Zed off his shoulders. “We’ve brought your grandson, as well.” He held his boy in his arms and pointed at the big chief. “See, Zed, this is your grandpa. He is a very important man.”

Zed’s little eyes went round as he looked up at his grandfather. He put on finger on his lips and looked at his mother.

Lani smiled and nodded, and Tomás swooped his son toward his grandfather.

Lani said a few words in Huichol and the chief opened his arms.

Zed’s little lips landed on the chief’s and the old man laughed and took his grandson, settling him on one side of his big, naked chest.

He dipped his head toward Zed and spoke a few low sentences.

Lani’s eyes watered and Tomás could feel a tightness spread through her chest. The chief turned up the mountain and pointed.

“He says we should go and see my mother and Zolin.” She licked her bottom lip, then chewed it, as a tear slipped down her cheek. “My people believe that the volcano will take life and regenerate life. He wants to show Zed the source of all our power.”

Tomás smiled, taking her hand. “That’s what we came for, isn’t it?”

Lani took in a long breath and then released it. “I know.”

“I’ll be right beside you, the whole time.”

“That’s the only way I could do it.” She leaned into his shoulder and they followed the chief up the path toward the volcano.

Zed swung at the lower-hanging leaves as the chief pointed and spoke in Huichol. Behind them, the village was almost silent.

Tomás could imagine everyone swooping their hands and spitting to honor the gods, all across the mountainside.

“I went by the sex tent,” he mused, squeezing his wife’s hand. “I guess I should check with your father and see if it’s occupied later.”

That made her laugh—a golden cascade that rippled through him and landed in his heart. He lived to make her laugh. To make her happy.

“He won’t let you go in.” The corners of her mouth turned up and lit her face all the way to her eyes. “You already have a mate.”

“But we could pretend…” Tomás pushed at her shoulder and kicked a rock along the path. “I mean, for old time’s sake.”

“You can’t pretend in the sex tent.” Lani pulled on his arm. “Fate knows what it’s doing.”

Tomás chuckled and slid his arm around his wife’s waist. He felt the swell of the underside of her pregnant belly on her left side, and hugged her to him. Zed had been a miracle baby, cementing the bond they had and giving them a little light of Zolin and Lani’s mother to carry toward the future. And this baby would bring even more joy to their little family.

Living in Las Vegas may have changed Lani, as it would change anyone, but it hadn’t changed his love for her. Nothing could.

“So… if we can’t be in
the
sex tent…” Tomás tickled her belly and Lani let out another loud burst of laughter.

“Yes,” she giggled and pointed toward the chief, who lifted Zed high up in the air to pick one of the big red flowers that hung from the heavy branches of the trees. “And we even have a babysitter.”

Tomás stopped and pulled Lani into his arms.

“I’m glad we did this. Came here. Brought Zed to see your father.”

The words didn’t produce a sting inside her any longer, and Tomás said a quick prayer of thanks for that.

She could see the chief and not think of the other people she had lost. Lani could feel the love she had for Tomás and her son, and even her father, and not be haunted by regrets.

“I’m glad, too.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to his, holding him tight for a long beat. Lani settled against his chest, her eyes cast down toward the village. “I was afraid it would be too much.”

“I knew you could do it.” He stroked the back of her head and tightened his arms around her. “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”

The warm feeling of love that overtook her was so overwhelming, even his years of practice of separating their bond couldn’t keep it out of him. It washed over him and threatened to drown him.

“I love you, Tomás Rivera.”

He traced a line down the side of her face and kissed the tip of her nose. “I know.”

C
hapter
One

Choaca, Mexico

A
lejandro Sureda hated dance clubs
. Damn stupid suit he had to wear on top of annoying ass music, and it was too dark to see anything, except for the pulsing lights that were working on his headache. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, every time he thought he saw her.

He was there for only one reason.

“What can I get you?” one of the skinny, white-clad bartenders asked him, fluttering big eyelashes up and down his body. A slow smile painted its way across her face. “You are a tall drink of water, aren’t you?”

Was it possible to roll his eyes any farther back into his head? Would the bartender notice and back off?

“Get me a…” Alex glanced around the intermittently-lit rows of alcohol bottles. He had never been in a bar in Mexico. Did they have the same stuff as they did in Miami? “Shit. I don’t know. What’s good?”

“What are you in the mood for?” She purred at him. Like. An actual cat sound. What the fuck.

“The harder the better.”

“That’s my poison, too.” Cat sound again. Deep in her throat.

“If you have something hard enough to clean rust off a blade, it’s probably right up my alley.” He reached in his pocket for some cash and froze.

A pulse that wasn’t part of the thrumming music made its way through his body. It hit highs where the music hit lows, and had a slow, languid wave.

Magick. Unmistakeable. Only, this was a kind of magick he hadn’t felt before. He knew what his parents felt like, and his siblings, his alpha. This was something different.

Alex put up a hand and stopped the bartender pouring. “Hold on.”

“
Querido
, for you, I will wait all night.” She leaned forward and flashed the tops of her breasts.

“No need to wait. I won’t be back.” He moved in the direction of the pulse, like something drew him, leaving her with her jaw down almost to her cleavage.