Charity's Warrior (18 page)

"Anyway, tell me about your place," Trisha said.

I told her all about it while we ate, and I invited her to come see it some time. I'm not sure why we didn't do it earlier, but we finally exchanged numbers so we could stay in touch.

A few more people came in, several for the bar and two more tables, and the bar tender was having trouble keeping up. Trisha knew her break was over. She began cleaning and stacking our plates.

"Listen," she said, "kidding aside, Justin would be a great catch. Not saying it would be an easy road, but you know he would treat you right. I think you two would be amazing. You have something, something that tames him. You could have a great lover, and a guy that adores you. If he calls, you should answer."

She took our plates and went to work. I was going to hang for a bit, maybe he would come in.

My cell phone rang. Last time it ended up being Justin, so I jumped for it, digging wickedly into my pocket. It wasn't him. It was my friend from home.

"Melissa, how are you?" I asked. She was my best friend, and I'd been avoiding her since the thing with Justin had heated up. I owed her some talk time and updates.

"I'm good," she answered. "How are you? I haven't heard from you in like a week, I was starting to worry."

"I'm sorry. It's been a busy week," I responded.

"Last I heard, you signed on an apartment. Are you in yet?" she asked.

I found myself repeating everything about the apartment and getting annoyed at listening to myself. Hearing the same story so many times, it didn't sound like it was my story any more. Melissa was excited for me, though, and that made it worth retelling."

"Now, tell me about the guy," she demanded out of nowhere.

I tried to play dumb. "What? What do you mean?" The goofy laugh I did smack in the middle of that was not very convincing.

"Charity, really?" She didn't need to say anything else.

"Okay, but don't judge me—and don't tell my mother!" I said.

"She giggled, "Deal."

"Okay," I said. "His name is Justin Collins."

"Wait! Isn't that the guy that rescued you—and found you the job?" Melissa asked.

"And found me the apartment," I added.

"Oh my God, this guy is like the ultimate hero," she said. "And you're dating him?"

"Not exactly, or, I'm not sure," I said back.

"Ah. I think I know what that means," she said. "Tell me, how good was he?"

I listened to her giggle. "He's off the chart," I said, giggling back.

"That good?" she bellowed.

"Mel, take the best you can imagine," I said.

"Okay?" I can hear the
edge-of-her-seat
interest in her voice.

"Now double it," I said.

"Really?" She sounded shocked.

I let her sit with that for a moment. My silence was her answer.

"So, how many times, or was it just the once?" she asked.

"No, it's been a few times. But I haven't seen him in a week," I answered.

"So," she started, "he's a jerk?"

"No," I said quickly. "He's actually pretty great, but according to a few people that know him, he's never been a relationship guy. He just doesn't know what the hell he's doing."

"Maybe you get to rescue him now?" Melissa said.

I hadn't thought of it that way.

"Now, if it was so good," she said, "give me details."

I giggled again. "I can't."

"Charity!" she exclaimed, demanding to know.

"I didn't say I won't, I said can't. I'm in a public place," I told her. "Believe me, if I could brag right now—I would."

"Oh, wow," she said. "I'm jealous and I don't even know what about yet."

We were laughing together, and I let my snort-laugh fly. Melissa had heard it for years. My mind was replaying what she had said about me saving Justin now. He had done so much for me already, more than I could repay. Quite possibly, he was the only reason I am still in this city, certainly the only reason I am doing so well. Maybe this was a way for me to do something, give back to him a little part of what he deserved.

If he comes around, I’m going to make it easy for him. And if it was possible for Justin to figure out how to settle down, I will try to be the one to show him.

Melissa began to catch me up on everyone back home, the rest of the girls we grew up with. It was comforting to hear, especially about her parents, who I was around almost as much as my own.

"I miss them so much," I told her.

"They miss you too. They ask about you every time I see them," she said.

We were avoiding someone. Nearly everyone we knew had been mentioned at some point while I was sucking down my second drink, but the obvious one to talk about was being saved for last. Steve Knowles, my ex-boyfriend.

Melissa was actually pretty close with Steve. She was there when we met, and through the years she was often stuck in the middle as our liaison. When he was devastated by the breakup, by my plans, it was Melissa that he turned to for help. In the past she had always been there, not so much for him, but for us, but this time she was my friend first. It broke her heart, but she knew what I wanted for my life.

"So—how is he?" I asked.

Melissa didn't even try to pretend not to who I meant. "I wish I could tell you for sure," she said. "He's shut everyone off, even his own family. He won't answer calls, and his mother is a wreck."

"Damn! I really didn't want him hurt like that, Melissa," I said.

"I know it," she said. "But it is what it is. He's gotta get past it. That first couple of weeks were horrible, I had no idea what to do for him, but I think it was better than what we have now. The only time he would stop crying, was when he was drunk and fighting. He came to me one time, begging me to call you home, and when I wouldn't, he literally fell on the floor. I couldn't even understand the words coming out of his mouth. It took me calling over two of his buddies to get him up. Now we have no clue what he's thinking or doing. The same two guys that helped me then have been calling me to help find him."

"Melissa, you don't think he'll hurt himself, do you?" I asked.

She sighed deeply, sorrowfully. "I can't say if he will or won't, but I can tell you it has already crossed my mind. When no one had heard from him for a few days, we went to his apartment with a key, expecting the worst. The place was a mess, but he wasn't there, but the point is, we all expected he
would
be, and it wouldn't be a good thing. His mother was too afraid to come with us."

Tears begin to fall freely from my eyes. I didn't care where I was, that people could see me. I had never meant to cause that kind of pain to Steve. I just wasn't in love with him, and staying with him wasn't fair to either of us. We both deserve better than that. Trisha saw that I was crying and motioned to see if I was okay. I nodded and waved my hand that I was fine, wiping away the tears.

Melissa heard my wet sniff, and knew I was crying. "I'm so sorry, Charity. I didn't want to upset you, but I didn't want to lie to you."

"No, absolutely not," I said. "You did it right. I'd rather be upset now, than find out later when everything is much worse. I'm just worried about him. I didn't expect this."

"Yeah," she replied softly.

"No one has seen him, or has a clue? What about at Ivy Tavern, anyone there see him?" I asked. The Ivy Tavern was Steve's favorite place; someone there had to have seen him. I don't think he's gone a full week without stopping in at least twice since he was twenty-one.

"Haven't seen him," she said. "I've been there a bunch of times, hoping he's come in since my last check-in, but he hasn't. He's really just gone, but I'm trying to hope it's a good sign."

"How so?" I asked, the tears now mostly gone.

"Maybe he's starting over," she said. "I keep hoping he decided to take off, clear his mind by taking a vacation. I know that's not exactly like him, but that would be the point of it, don't you think, to just recreate his life? I don't think that's so farfetched, it's exactly what you did. On his own I don't think he would have thought of that, but I can totally imagine him deciding to do the same thing that you did."

"I could see that," I agreed. It was a little bit of a reach, but it was so much better to imagine than Steve's body lying in a dirty hotel room next to an empty bottle of pills or in the woods next to a shotgun and some empty casings.

I was pretty well composed by the time my conversation with Melissa was over, but Trisha came to check on me anyway. It didn't take long to get her caught up about Steve. I asked for my bill, and she went to get it.

Trisha brought my check with another Red Bull and vodka. "That one's on me," she said. "I wanna make sure you're in a good place before I let you leave."

Somewhere in the middle of my phone call, the bar had gotten busy and all the tables were full. Trisha still found the time to keep stopping by, and even managed to get me laughing again. She was a good friend. I paid the bill while I finished that last drink, and left feeling much better.

MY APARTMENT WELCOMED ME
the best it could. It was cool and inviting, but it couldn't ask me how I was, didn't make me laugh. I popped on the TV, but that really wasn't what I needed either.

I need Justin!

I can't count on that right now. He was going to have to come around on his own, and tonight wasn't going to be the night. I sighed in boredom, flicking channels like a pro, listening to the hum of my refrigerator in between commercials.

My bag caught my eye as it sat by the door where I'd dropped it when I came in. Inside, my laptop was patiently waiting, hoping to catch my attention. It had me now. The second I thought of it, it reminded me that JP might be online. Justin might not be around, but JP was more than willing to take my mind away from the night I've had.

I got comfortable first, pulling my dress off, along with the damn bra that had been stabbing my right boob all day. The relief washed over me right away. I grabbed my laptop and sat on the couch while it came out of hibernation. I really wanted him to be online.

I keyed in my password full of anticipation and watched my profile load. A moment later, when my desktop was available, I launched the chat program and watched it start up.

Once it was running, the list of names began to display, and when JP showed up as online and available, my pulse sped at the same pace as my nervous stomach flipping.

"Hey,"
I typed.
"U waiting 4 me?"

There was no reply, and I waited. The wide smile on my face began to shrink. I rested my hands down in disappointment. There were just no distractions from life tonight.

Then my laptop chimed.

"Yes I was,"
he replied.
"I was actually about 2 give up for the night, didn't look like u were coming on. I just made myself a drink and came back 2 find ur window open."

I laughed and sent,
"LOL. That sounded like u were stalking outside my apartment."

"U wish. Hell, I wish. Lol,"
he sent.
"Would u let me climb in your window?"

"Absolutely. Just don't mind that I'm only wearing my thong,"
I replied.

"Haha, if only that were true,"
he said.

"Joke's on u,"
I said
. "It is true."

He paused.

"Can u get to the office like that? I really want to see that on the security cam,"
he said.
"I promise I won't save the video ;)"