Charity's Warrior (14 page)

"I'll try to keep that on the DL, JP,"
I joked again.

"LMAO ur quick, I'll give u that,"
he said.

After a moment I said,
"U know, it's a little unfair that u check me out on the security camera, but I have no idea what u look like."

"I can fix that right now, hold on,"
he said. I have no idea why, but I have a vision of him rummaging around a desk looking for something, which was strange since I didn't know what he looked like or if he was even at a desk.

A minute passed and then my chat window blinked, popping open a small window that said JP was sending me a file called me.jpg. I clicked accept and watched it download and open.

It was Jim Carrey from "Dumb and Dumber."

"WTF, hahaha,"
I sent.

He sent,
"ROTFL. Everyone's heading back in from lunch now. U should get to work b4 ur boss finds out ur just flirting around on IM."

"Not fair,"
I replied.

He typed,
"Yeah Yeah ;) ttyl,"
and then signed off.

As I smiled and closed the window, I saw Lena coming towards my office, her gorgeous figure swaying back and forth in a black Burberry V-neck stretch jersey dress. "Wow, and I thought I was looking sassy and hot today," I said.

Her laugh was much bigger than I had expected, but it was natural and comfortable, and now that I'd seen her do it, I see that it suits her much better than the polite and professional laughter she had offered yesterday, and on my interview. She took one of the chairs in my office and sat down across from me.

"Did you go out with the girls for lunch?" she asked.

"No, not today," I replied. "I was signing a lease on an apartment."

"Oh wow, congratulations," she said. "Is it close?"

"Not too bad, same building as Justin," I told her.

Lena's smile widened. "That's great! Oh my God, so close, that's awesome. I'm jealous; my commute is growing old even though it's not far. I'm just sick of the subway, I guess."

"You said you knew Justin from the Bronx, are you still living there?" I asked curiously.

"No. Growing up I hated it there. As soon I as I could, I moved into uptown Manhattan, just a few blocks from the park. I can still get to my family quick, but I feel like I'm a world away," she said.

"Did Justin hate it there growing up as well, since he moved out too?" I asked.

Lena was quiet for a moment; her eyes fell to the floor.

"Yeah, he hated it there," she said, "but he had more reason. Wasn't an easy childhood for him."

I am even more curious now. "Because of the neighborhood, the kids?"

"No," she said easily. "That was nothing. He handled them, eventually they were more afraid of us, but his family wasn't easy. He needed to get out of there. There was nothing left but bad memories anyway."

"We haven't gotten close enough yet for him to open up," I said. "Can I ask what happened?"

Lena sighed. "I want to, but I think he should be the one to tell you the details—if he plans to."

"I get it," I said. I didn't even expect to see him again, so I don't have the right.

She lifted her eyes to mine, her beautiful brown face was holding on to something. "I want to tell you something, though," she offered. "Try to stick it out, if you can. If you can't, then that's fine, but if you're strong enough, and can put up with him—he's worth it. The way he talks about you, Charity, when he doesn't even realize he's doing it—it's beautiful. You're all I've heard about for days."

I am a bit shocked, and I know it's on my face.

Lena read me and continued, "Justin is a player. I don't think that shocks you."

We both laughed lightly. "No, it doesn't," I reply.

"He does that for protection," she said, "self-preservation. He really doesn't know any other way. It's gotten him this far, and he doesn't see yet that it can't last forever, that he is missing things along the way."

I nodded.

"Most of his girlfriends don't last until the morning. I don't see them, sometimes I don't even hear about them, but I can tell you—I never get asked if I can get them a job! None of them live in that building! Obviously there's something different about you."

She smiled, and it eased the moment.

"I know him, Charity...better than anyone, better than himself sometimes. I know what a pig he can be, and I know what a sweetheart he can be. I don't know you, yet, but I know him. Most of the girls in his past, he gave them exactly what they wanted and probably all they deserved. The fact that he's treating you different tells me all I need to know about you. You’re worth it, or he wouldn't be breaking his own rules, walls he put up to cope with life. So, if he doesn't fuck it up, you should give him a chance!"

"I'd like to," I said, "but I have no idea how. I barely know him. If you hadn't just told me what you did, I wouldn't even know that I was anything more than last weekend's date."

"Yeah, that's Justin," she joked. "And right now he doesn't even know that you are more than that. Maybe he won't see you again, that would be his self-defense mechanism, and if he does that, screw him! I just know my friend, I see that he sees something, and for once I want him to have a shot."

I breathed deeply. "I still don't know what you want me to do."

That made her laugh again.

"Don't do anything," she said. "Just see where it goes. I don't know how to tell what I want.”

Those pretty brown eyes drifted again. She pulled in a deep, deep breath and held it. Her mouth opened to talk, and quickly shut again. Lena exhaled and tried again.

"I think I
do
need to tell you about his childhood. It may be the only way you'll understand, and the only way he will ever have anyone. But you
need
to understand, you can
never
tell him that you know, that I told you—ever! If he tells you about it himself, you'll need to act like it's the first time you're hearing it. If you don't, he may be done with the both of us."

"I understand," I said honestly.

Her eyes question me deeply.

"Really," I say. "There won't be a word about it—not ever!"

Lena's expression went soft again. "His mother was not the best. She was great at first, when we were little, but she changed horribly. It was mostly drinking problems, but I think drugs too, by the way she would act and disappear."

My heart felt for them. "What happened to her?"

"We don't know," Lena said. She left them, disappeared, and Justin's father had to pick up the pieces of himself and his little boy. Justin's mother was the love of his father's life. Things were not easy for him, but there was Justin to think about, a little boy that had lost his mother and didn't understand why. He did good, too. For years they were inseparable, and then one day his wife came back."

"Where was she all that time?" I asked.

Lena shrugged. "Don't know. If she told him, he kept it from Justin. Maybe it was better that he didn't know, so he could have his mother again. But his father took her back, whether he knew or not. He was like a new man taking care of both of them. We were in our teens by then, and Justin was thrilled but nervous. It was a big change because he was giving up having his father all to himself. None of us saw where it was going. He came home from school one day and it was all over."

I saw the tears build in Lena eyes. She tried to turn away so I wouldn't notice, but it was too late.

"He found his father's body in the living room. Suicide! Justin's mother had left again, and no one has seen her since. His father couldn't do it a second time."

"Oh my God," I breathed.

"Yeah," Lena said, her head down. "Justin has been who he is since then. Women cause pain and leave. Men foolish enough to love them, they have their hearts ripped out and die alone."

Now I understood a few things—why Lena was trying so hard. She straightened herself up.

"So, my friend is a little damaged," she joked. "But he's a good guy, and I don't want to see him miss out."

"I understand," I told her.

"I'm not asking you to do anything but be patient. Maybe I'm misjudging him, but I don't think so. I think he won't be able to stay away from you even if he doesn't know why. I just thought if you knew why he does what he does, you would have the patience to ride it out. Not every relationship is bad; they don't all end in tragedy, but if he doesn't learn that he will end up dying alone. I do my best to take care of him, but I do believe in love and some day it will find me. Where will he be then? He knows a lot of people, but I'm his only friend. I'm afraid he'll think I left him as well."

That stopped her words, the fear of what he would think, what he would do, if the only constant woman in his life had to move on. It was a lot of pressure that didn't belong on her.

"If I get the chance, I'll be patient," I told her. "I do like him, much more than I've been willing to admit, and I want to get to know him. I don't want to have my heart broken, nobody does, but I'll be understanding when I need to be."

I HAD A TAXI
drop me at the Sixth Avenue Bed Bath and Beyond, and I had spent the early evening shopping for every kind of towel I could think of for the kitchen and bathroom. I'd thought, since it was just me, I could get away with only a few sets for the bathroom, but once I got into it, I remembered how lazy I can be with my laundry. Having enough to last a couple weeks was a better idea.

This had me fairly happy, until I got to the bedding, and then I was orgasmic. Well, not
Justin's tongue
orgasmic, but something to hold me over. After almost an hour, I decided on the DKNY City Silk set in ivory, throwing in a couple toss pillows from the same set in black.

It came to more than a bag full, but they were kind enough to get me a taxi to take me home. We have bags in the back and front seats, and the trunk, and I am high on excitement, taking it all to the apartment to leave there. I would be home in a few minutes. It was hard to grasp the concept, mostly because I wasn't able to stay yet. Once my furniture was there it would begin to feel real.

The crowd hustled around the sidewalks as we passed, and I was taking in the energy of the city. Everyone had something to do, a guy walking his dog, a woman carrying a violin case, a couple which appeared to be heading to dinner, a lady in a cab dying to get to her new apartment.

We finally reached my building. The driver pulled over right in front so that we could unload. He popped the trunk as I slid out, pulling along with me the bags from the back seat. I waited on the walk as he gave me my things.

Suddenly, I have a feeling that I am being watched, eyes secretly crawling on me.

At first I ignore it, but it is so intense, forcing me to look around. I immediately think of my attack at the Manhattan Grill last week, and the hair stands up on my arms. The driver is getting the last items from the front seat, and I was going to be alone once I paid him and he pulled away. The crowd around us seems busy and uninterested, but I am sure something is wrong.

"Can you stay for a couple minutes?" I asked him. "You can keep the meter going; I just want to see if I can reach a friend to help me." I didn't wait for an answer before dialing Justin's number.

While it rings, I check the crowd again. The sea of people has become an ominous, serpentine entity slithering along the sidewalks, hiding something terrible and dangerous. There's someone here that I haven't seen yet, someone that wants to hurt me.

The line rings again. My eyes are drawn, this time finding a man across the street hiding his face in a dark hoodie, just like Justin had described on the night I was attacked.