Charity's Passion (14 page)

Behind me I hear the door opening and the sounds of the cheers grow loud as some of them spill out onto the sidewalk with us. Hands pat us and holds us tightly until my heart slows to something almost regular. Justin and I gently let each other go, both of us smiling and thrilled.

The first people I want to see are at my side. My crying parents throw their arms around Justin and I. Behind them I see Justin's mother waiting.
Fuck that!
I quickly reach out and pull her in, forcing her into the foreground as part of our family—as it should be. Justin happily manages an arm over her.

I know there's one missing, but he's here, in his way he's here watching over and hugging us with the woman he loved so deeply. Justin is thinking about his father too, I know it.

Tony eventually grabs the red throw and rolls it up so that he can unblock the street, and we are moved into the excitement inside the Grill where I am virtually attacked by Melissa and Trisha.

"Oh my God!" We all scream in unison, forming a shrill wail that could make ears bleed.

"Did that really happen?" I ask.

"It totally happened," Melissa shouts.

Trisha agrees frantically, "It did, Girl, it absolutely did. You're engaged!"

"Let me see that rock," Lena says, joining our tiny group. First I have to throw my arms around her, and fuck it if it's too public for her. I feel her laughing as she hugs me back. Then I display the ring for all of us including myself, since I haven't really looked at it yet.

Oh my God, it's stunning!

It's the square stone that I've described to Melissa since we were children, though much larger than I'd ever dreamed. Guessing, I'd say it's over two carats that glitter from every angle that I turn my hand.

"Jesus Christ! It's beautiful," Trisha breathes.

Melissa grabs my finger and twists it to each side. "Absolutely gorgeous," she agrees. "I'm so happy and so jealous at the same time."

There are tears in Lena's eyes that don't go away when Justin comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. "I can't tell you two how happy I am for you both. I'm thrilled, really," she says.

Terrence is standing patiently behind her. He finally seizes an opportunity to congratulate us with a sparkle in his eyes. I believe we've paved a way for him, and suddenly I'm certain the two of them won't be far behind us in their own engagement.

Once we step away, Justin places his mouth near my ear and quickly says, "When it comes up—follow my lead."

There is no time to ask what he meant since my parents are moving in on us again. I'm sure I'll catch on when I need to.

Mom coils around me one more time. "I've been busting at the seams," she confesses. She lets me go a moment later and clasps onto Justin, kissing his face. "Thank you so much for bringing us up here and letting us be a part of this, Justin."

"It would not have happened any other way," he replies. "I wanted our family and friends with us. I love you guys, and I know Charity appreciates it most of all."

"I do," I admit, still feeling so overwhelmed. "This is amazing—it's perfect."

In the back of the room I see waitresses mingling through the crowd holding trays of champagne for everyone. All of the ladies from the office are here; Lynda and Jennifer are already making moves on the last three of the Four Guys indiscriminately.

"This, tonight, is her time and your time," Justin continues to my parents. "I'll have her all to myself for a while after this anyway."

My father studies him, happily waiting for details to understand what he meant by that.

Justin's hand settles lightly onto the center of my back as he continues, tapping his finger so that no one can see it, "I'm going to take her on a long trip, a pre-honeymoon, so she has time to make sure she really wants to go through with this."

This is it, the lead he wants me to follow, and it's perfect. I see it coming like a pair of headlights on a dark highway.

"Oh my God! I love it!"" I gasp, generating the excitement we need as I throw myself back into his arms for the hundredth time.

Justin's mother is within earshot. "That's so great. Where are you going?" She asks, everyone around us holding their breath for the answer.

"Not just one place," Justin tells them. "We're going to be traveling, but I can't say where—that's part of the surprise. I want to show her the world. I want her to go to bed in a different country than she woke up in, taste food she can't pronounce, see things you can't even find in pictures." His eyes are on fire. Everything he's telling them for the moment is true.

"That sounds absolutely amazing. When do you leave?" My dad asks.

"Yes," I jump in practically on fire with excitement that I don't have to fake. "When do we go?"

"This week," he answers. "And we'll be gone for a while."

They've all bought into it wholeheartedly already; they wear it like suit and dresses that I can see without straining. All eyes are twinkling, my own included.

"He's already cleared the schedule at work," Lena says, adding to the believability of it all. "I can't tell you how hard that was to keep hidden from you, Charity. We had to add a fake calendar and for the past week I've felt like a secret agent sneaking around you for everything."

Okay—
that's funny
. I have to work to keep from laughing out loud and I can tell from the little wink she gives me that she did it on purpose, betting that I can control myself in front of the others.

Everyone laughs until my mother tears up again. "I'm going to miss you baby, but I'm so happy for you at the same time. I can't believe my little girl is engaged, and your little boy," she says to Justin's mother, hugging her aggressively.

My father hails a waitress with a full tray of glasses. "We need to toast." He passes a flute to each of us and raises his. "To my daughter, who I've never seen so happy, and to my new son that made her this way. May all of your tears be from joy and all of your pain be champagne." We ping glasses and drink.

Truly, I am impressed with the cover story he's come up with for us. Now neither of our families will freak out after we vanish; they will expect it and be happy for us—not knowing we're fighting for our lives. He's left it open-ended, so we can be gone for a while without our parents and friends getting too concerned. I don't believe it will be long enough, but we'll have to jump off that cliff when we get to it.

After our toast, everyone's order is taken for dinner. Justin had a special menu selected for tonight, turning the gathering into an instant engagement party. We eat and drink and I show my new ring so many times that my arm is too sore to lift. At this point I don't recall who I've spoken to or not; it's all a blur of smiles and excitement, and I need a break.

It's not easy, but I manage to sneak off to the bathroom without drawing much attention. The door still creeks on its hinges and the dark hallway still brings back the memory of that night when Justin had to rescue me. Even the smell, a mix of wine and food from the kitchen, it's completely unchanged from the night I met my fiancé.

So fucking weird to say—my fiancé.
I'm really engaged.

I look at myself in the mirror with my hands resting on the counter to hold me up. All I see is a tired mess and all my usual self-doubt floods in. Honestly, I don't know what Justin sees in me. This is a mistake for him; he can do better—much better.

Sometimes I like my curves, but not right now. I want them gone; I want to be perfect. He can have any woman; how can I stand up to that, to those skinny, beautiful things that flock by in the dozens right outside on the street?

I wanted this—badly—but maybe I've just asked for a world of hurt and a broken heart.

Maybe Justin was right when we first met; maybe people aren't meant to fall in love and expect it to last.

It's just these fucking hips!

And my face is too round too.

Or one day he'll realize I'm simply not good enough.

I've been engaged for only a couple of hours and I'm already freaking out.

Voices drift in from just outside the bathroom door and it reminds me that I need to pull myself together. Their bubbly, playful voices that slip by quickly.

I shouldn't be in here having a moment; I should be out in Justin's arms having a better moment. I love this man, and he loves me—God knows why.

Fuck it! Who knows if he deserves me, but I certainly deserve him.

I smile at myself, it doesn't matter how real it is, and straighten my body upright.

This time I'm very careful with the door to avoid the shrill squeal. The darkness of the hall envelopes me again, helping to hide me as I sneak back out the way I came in. Michael Bublé drifts through the air. "Another aeroplane. Another sunny place. I'm lucky, I know. But I wanna go home."

Those voices catch me again, the ones I heard a minute ago from the other side of the bathroom door. Someone has slipped off deeper down the hall into the manager's office. This time their voices sound much more serious.

My curiosity takes over.
Yes—I know exactly how wrong that is.

I take a few small steps closer. The door is mostly shut and a thin beam of light spills out across me.

Someone inside moves just inches away on the opposite side so close that they block out most of the light. They are pressed up flat against the wall where I can hear them breathing in rapid, lustful pants.

"I want this," I hear her say, almost sure that it sounds like Trisha.

Something—someone—crushes up against her and I can feel a blast of desire and heat escape through the thin space.

"So do I," Garrett replies. "I've wanted this from the first moment I saw you and my breath was taken away."

"You know I wasn't ready, and you know why," Trisha tells him. "But I'm past that, Garrett. I'm past that and I need you."

Difficult as it is to see, I can tell that he's grabbed her tightly and lifted her up the wall. Their faces collide passionately, finally taking that first deep plunge into each other.

Behind me I hear something terrifying that makes me jump out of my skin and shriek just the tiniest bit.

"Charity—there you are. We're all looking for you; come on out honey."

My mother!

I heard that loud and clear, and I'm sure both Garrett and Trisha did as well. My face is already red; I can feel it sizzling. Their voices have already stopped, and the thin gap of the door where they had been is now clear.

Awkward!

"I'm coming," I answer nervously.

In front of me the door slowly opens until I can see their faces, both of them swirling with lust, annoyance, and embarrassment. I've fucked up their first moment, their perfect first moment. They know it, and they know I know it too.

Apologizing would be pointless.

"I heard voices, and I didn't know who it was," I say. "I'm so sorry." I quickly turn and march out, letting all of us of the hook for now.

I can't believe that happened. I just wanna punch myself in the face right now.

After my mother leads me to Justin and his mother, I see Garrett and Trisha moving through the crowd as if nothing happened. The smell of their disappointment refuses to clear away from me. Conversations float by me for the next fifteen minutes. I really try to be a part of them, but I'm so upset.

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I can't grab it at the moment, and it sits in there pestering me. As soon as I can break away I pull it out and read the text that's waiting for me. It's from Trisha.

Stop thinking about it. This is your night, not ours. Its fine, we're fine. Start smiling and enjoy or I will get upset.

Tears slide into my eyes and I find her smiling at me from across the room. She's such a sweetheart.

I think I can actually get over it now.

Justin senses that something was bothering me, but now he sees it swinging back the other way again. "You okay?" He asks quietly as he takes my hand.

"Yea," I tell him. "I'll tell you later, but I'm good now. Thank you...for all of this. Thank you for asking me."

"Thank you for saying yes," he says smoothly.

"As if it would have been anything else," I laugh.

That proud smile eases over him, eyes twinkling. I feel it coming, another of those precious, precious moments when he makes the world disappear. Justin drops my hand and I see both of his heading for my face where they gently press into my fresh and cradle me.

I melt.

As only he knows how to do, Justin makes it seem as though he's not bending his face to me but that somehow I'm floating up to his lips. Every inch I'm lifted, the more people vanish from around us until we are completely alone in my mind. The touching of our mouths renders me blind and deaf, my remaining functional senses detect only him, making him my entire world.

His kiss leaves me feeling adored and fulfilled, and most importantly I'm back in my happy place with our loved ones.

It could very well be the last time I see any of them for a while—or ever.