Charity For Nothing: The Virtues Book III (15 page)

My frustration was mounting, Corrine had no idea I was giving help to illegal aliens and I’d worried my time away from her had more to do with the club than my job, but she’d been so quick to deny it. I felt something stir in the center of my chest, something about what she’d said, how she’d said it. I turned to her, a flash of light from oncoming traffic went across her, angry, pleading, lavender eyes that I loved so much and she whipped her head forward.

“Dominic, look out!” she screamed and I reflexively swerved. I was tired, I was too slow. Sparkling glass and the unholy scream of tearing metal. I think I blacked out, I can’t be sure. A terrible rending agony in my right thigh, the world tumbling end over end and the awful, frightened screaming of my baby girl.

Sparkling glass, and the feeling of being weightless, end over end, a total loss of time and space and the
agony
burning through my leg… lights out.

Warm. Wet. Blackness absolute. The revving of an engine, steady and loud, I opened my eyes, a crushing weight on my chest from where the seatbelt had locked up. I ended up just turning my head, feebly, to stare into the wide, fixed stare of my beautiful wife, her lavender eyes glassy, face a bloody mask.

My daughter’s voice…

“Daddy?” she began to cry and I screamed, struggling, hands holding me down, lights blazing in my eyes.

“No!” I screamed, struggling against the hands of the rescue workers, flinging my weight, sitting up, “Corrine, no!” I screamed.

“Nothing, wake up!”

I reflexively drew back a hand to fight off the rescue worker trying to press me back down. I backhanded the paramedic, except there
was no
paramedic…

Charity!

She went flying, landing on the carpet of her bedroom, skidding to a stop. Her bright, blonde hair fell around her shoulders, framing her face that was all wide, icy blue eyes; and thanks to me, a now red and soon to be swelling lower lip. A bead of crimson dotting her pale skin where I’d split it.

“Fuck!” I scrambled out of the bed towards her and she flinched. I stopped myself from going to her, stopped myself cold, and shuddered. I bowed my head, pulling on the back of my neck and snatched my jeans up off the floor, ripping them up my legs.

“Nothing, I’m sorry, it’s okay. It was just a dream,” she was climbing to her feet and I shook my head buttoning my jeans, pulling up the zipper, grabbing my boots off the floor.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I said, furious with myself, my chest heaving. She froze, her lovely breasts rising and falling with adrenaline and fear. “You need to stop; you need to stay away from me. This can’t happen again. I can’t. You understand me? I won’t.” I was shaking my head and she was making soothing noises, her hands out like I was some kind of feral dog.

“Nothing, it’s fine! Really, I’m okay it was just a dream, aie!” I’d cut her off, grabbed her by the upper arms a startled sound coming from her lips. I leveled my gaze with hers, and she was all wide, startled blue eyes. A knife twist of guilt almost stopped me, almost made me let go, but this was important; she needed to understand.

“It’s not just a dream, it will never
be
just a dream,” I snarled and she opened her mouth to speak, “No! Forget it, Charity, this can’t be. This can’t happen ever again, now leave it!” I thrust her away from me so hard she hit the bed with the backs of her knees and sat down abruptly. “Now do yourself a favor; find someone who’s not going to hurt you, because I sure as fuck will.” I gave one last look to my white fingerprints against her lovely skin filling in pink. Son of a bitch! I snatched up my cut and put my arms savagely through the holes. Grabbing up my boots that I’d dropped, first one then the other. I threw open her bedroom door and headed down the stairs.

Radar was on the first landing coming up as I was heading down, worry and confusion on his face, “Nothing, man, what’s up?” he asked.

“Check on her, make sure I didn’t hurt her,” I grated and blew out the front door, leaving it swing wide.

I jumped up and down on one foot, ramming the other into its boot and repeated the process on the other side, heading to my bike. I fired her up and laid rubber, going for the street and the fastest way out of there and away from Char.

Fuck, I’d fucking hit her.
I hadn’t meant to, it was a fucking accident… I hadn’t meant to swerve into the guy coming our way either so I did the only thing I could think of. I tore the fuck out of there before I did anything else to hurt that beautiful girl.

All my fault. All my fucking fault, if only I hadn’t been so fucking
tired
.

Chapter 19

Charity

I sat on the bed, my face stinging from the slap, my chest heaving with equal parts adrenaline and panic when Radar knocked on the edge of the open door frame. The door had swung mostly shut when Nothing had blown past it to bound down the stairs and I had just enough time to snatch the comforter to cover my nudity before Radar looked around the corner.

“Charity, you – shit,” he sighed out and nodded, turning his head to the side and up to stare at the ceiling. “Right, do me a favor and put something on while I go grab some ice.”

“Sure,” I said and sniffed, the first tears gathering and starting to fall.

He turned to go out the door, and back to me asked, “You want me to call Hope, or Faith? They stayed at the marina on the boats.”

“No, I’ll be okay,” I said.

“K, be right back.”

As soon as he was out of sight I dove for the closet and swept an oversized tee over my head and shrugged a pair of leggings up my legs. I was as covered as I was going to get. He knocked twice and waited for an answer before returning to the room.

“Yeah,” I said and dashed at the moisture in my eyes.

“What happened?” he asked.

“Nothing –“

“Don’t tell me nothing happened, something clearly did.”

I laughed, “No, I wasn’t, I was telling you that Nothing, the person, was having a bad dream; I tried to wake him up, but he was flailing,” I took the proffered icepack from Radar who let out in a string of Spanish that was clearly an impressive long line of swear words, but his angry posture diminished. “Yeah, that, anyways, he was really upset, cried out a couple of times for Corrine and Katy before I woke him up, I think he was having a flashback.”

“Yeah, it’s been a long time since he’s had one. We thought he was over it.”

“No one said he was in the accident with them, I always just assumed…”

Radar sat down on the edge of the bed with me and searched my face, wiping off a tear with his thumb and absently off on his long denim shorts.

“Well if you’re going to get beat up over it, you have a right to know,” he said but didn’t sound happy about it.

“It wasn’t his fault, the same way it isn’t a soldier’s fault when they have a flashback, my sister has them sometimes.”

“Yeah, we tend to forget she was deployed, anyways, Nothing was in the car that night, was the one driving, but it wasn’t his fault. This drunk guy hit them head on, on Corrine and Katy’s side. Nothing was trapped and couldn’t do anything. Corrine was killed on impact, Katy died later at the hospital before Nothing even got out of surgery. His thighbone got busted in two places and they had to put some metal in there to hold shit together. He was laid up for weeks in the hospital.”

“His heart never healed,” I observed.

“It was a stupid fucking accident he had no control over, but he likes to blame himself. If he hadn’t looked away, if he hadn’t worked that extra shift, if he hadn’t been so tired… Man, excuse after excuse but it doesn’t change anything. Dude’s lucky to be alive.”

I pursed my lips and nodded, pulling the ice away from my face; Radar had a look and moved my hand with the icepack in it back in place.

“Then I come to town…”

“Yeah, and for a minute, like thirty seconds today, it was like having the old Galahad back.”

“Galahad?” I asked.

“That was his road name before he started insisting everyone call him ‘Nothing.’”

“I see, let me guess,”

“White knight, out to save everybody,” we said in unison. I hung my head and sighed.

“You really like him, huh?” Radar asked.

“Too much information, but he’s hot as fucking hell and I’m a white knight too. Just something about the tortured bad boy image really got me.”

“We all make mistakes,” he joked and I shook my head.

“This isn’t a mistake. We have a crap ton in common, and I can see he’s a really good guy, just really fucking confused.”

“That’s putting it mildly. This mean you aren’t giving up?”

“Seems to me, there’s been a lot of giving up on Nothing, don’t you think?"

“Ouch,” he put his hands over his chest as if I wounded him. I met his eyes and didn’t flinch, and he shifted uncomfortably.

“Compassion fatigue is a thing,” I murmured and Radar gave a nod, taking the out I’d given him.

“Yeah, and we’ve been in it to win it since it happened, there just comes a point where you gotta let go of the bike and watch ‘em pedal on their own.”

“Spoken like a father,” I said dryly.

“Daughter, just turned eighteen.”

I raised my eyebrows, “Yeah, I started young.”

“Nothing isn’t a child,” I said.

“No, he’s a grown ass man that needs to start behaving like one.”

“Seems like I’ve done a bang up job of shaking up his whole world.” It was my turn to let out an explosive breath, and stare at the ceiling.

“Yeah, but Honey, truthfully, Nothing needs it. He’s been stuck like he’s been for far too long. Now, that’s not to say I’d blame you one bit if you walked away now – okay.” Radar held up his hands in defense of my withering look.

“I don’t give up at the first sign of trouble, and I’m fairly convinced that Nothing needs my help. I’m going to do what I can for him, I just need to think on how to approach it so he won’t spook or bolt on me.”

“Sex was that good, huh?” he asked looking at me dubiously.

“Mind blowing,” I said without missing a beat then frowned, “What are you still doing here anyways? Don’t you have a house of your own?”

He shrugged, “All my equipment is still here, plus my place doesn’t have a generator. The cable and internet lines are underground, so they weren’t as affected by the storm, and I can’t go longer than five minutes without my web fix.”

I took the icepack off my lip and Radar tipped my chin, turning my face into the light to have a look.

“Eh,” he shrugged and moved my hand with the icepack in it back toward the minor injury; I sighed and kept icing the lip.

“I’m not used to being the patient,” I grumbled and his eyes darkened. I sighed, “It was an accident,” I reiterated.

“Yeah, but I can’t help but feel responsible somehow, too.” A look of real disappointment and frustration crossed his face and I nodded.

“Cutter said something to me. He said that none of us could help Nothing, not until Nothing was ready to help himself. He’s right, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I just can’t help but wonder if there was something more we could and should be doing as his brothers. Letting him fucking stew for three years hasn’t exactly helped him any.” He eyed me carefully. “Then you show up and he’s all shook up.” He paused for a long minute searching my face. “Piece of unsolicited advice?”

“Sure,” I agreed softly.

“It’s pretty clear you like our boy, and it’s pretty clear he likes you, too. Give him a few days to get a grip. Don’t go looking for him. You’re bound to run into each other, it’s a small town, but if I know Nothing, you go looking for him it’s just going to make him retreat even further.”

I nodded, “Makes sense, and you’re right. I do like him. We really have a lot in common, this insane attraction aside. Plus, I can’t help it. The wounded bad boy routine really is hot as hell.”

Radar laughed, and nodded. “Fair enough, Trouble, fair enough.”

We sat there, comfortably, quietly, before I thought to ask, “You aren’t going over there to hand him his ass again, are you?”

He chuckled, and it sent a bit of a shiver down my spine, “No, he didn’t do anything wrong, this time if it is, as you say; an accident.” I nodded emphatically, and he nodded too, bobbing his head up and down in a parody of me. “I’ll go check on him for you in the morning if it would make you feel better.”

I nodded, “It would, thanks.”

“You know, I like what you do to our boy, Charity. It really was almost like having Galahad back today.”

“I think I’d like to meet Galahad,” I murmured.

“You have, by the sounds of things going on up here.”

I blushed a deep pink which he thought was hysterical, “I know I opened the door a minute ago, but can we not commentate on my sex life anymore, please?” I asked.

Radar wiped tears from his eyes, “Spoken like a true woman, but if it makes you do that, then the boys’ll smell blood in the water. They'll tease the hell out of you. You’d best get used to it with a lot like us. Gotta give as much as you take.”

“Fun,” I said and sighed.

“Seriously though, you gonna be okay?”

I nodded, “Yeah. It was an accident, the adrenaline will wear off and I’ll be good as new.”

“Atta girl,” he said, all smiles. I handed him the icepack and he stood up. “You need anything, I’m right downstairs.”

“Thanks, but I’m a big kid now,” I said with a half-smile and he shot me a little salute.

“A fast learner, too.”

“Good night, Radar… and thanks.”

“Night, Trouble, and think nothing of it,” he waggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes.

I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about the raw naked pain in Nothing’s eyes. His violent reaction after having hit me spoke more of a fear on his part that he’d actually hurt me. I touched lightly, the corner of my lip and sighed. He’d been in the throes of a full on flashback, I didn’t for a minute think it was me that he’d been fending off, I just think that I’d gotten too close when I should have backed the hell off.

I closed my eyes and sighed, but it was all for naught, my bedroom’s overhead light came on and I looked over to see Hope and Faith, their men right behind them, all piling into the room.