Change of Life (44 page)

“Yes – dexterity – surgeon’s hands, he says. He reckons an engine’s like a heart, and you need the same sort of skills to rebuild them and keep them going.”

I swallowed hard. “It sounds like you’ve made the right decision then – to train as a mechanic.”

“Yes – I never thought I could. I thought I was too thick to do anything much. I’ve known for a long time that I wouldn’t get into uni - and I didn’t want to go anyway, but I didn’t know what else I could do. Bob says he’ll take me into the bus depot to see what goes on there
- and
he has a pal who’s got a garage down at Granton where I could maybe do some work experience.”

“You have got yourself sorted out, haven’t you?” I said.

“Yeah, I have, Dad – and now it’s your turn.”

I nodded. “Yes, son, I believe it is.”

“Right, I’ll pay for this,” he said. “Then we should get on the road. It’ll soon be dinner time and I’m starving.”

I thought of the cake he’d just devoured and smiled to myself.

Once we were back at the flat, I phoned Ruby to tell her Adam was staying the night. I also told her about what he’d said in the car. I told her that thank you was totally inadequate for expressing my gratitude to her and her family. To say I was tired and emotional that evening doesn’t really cover it.

However – tired as I was - I knew Rosie would want to know how today had gone. I phoned the hospital. Rosie was sleeping. She’d had a lot of visitors during the day and was very tired. The nurse said it would be best not to come in and to let Rosie rest. She assured me if Rosie
awoke,
she’d give her the message that everything had gone fine. I decided to keep Adam’s news for when I saw her face to face.

By the time I was off the phone, Adam had rooted out the takeaway menus that Rick had accumulated in the kitchen drawer. He’d already made his choice – an Indian - and was on his mobile ordering for the two of us.

“I couldn’t wait,” he said. “I ordered you the lamb
bhuna
– that’s still your favourite, right?”

“Certainly is,” I answered, ridiculously pleased, not just that he remembered this fact but that he knew it in the first place. “
There’s
a couple of beers in the fridge. Do you fancy one?”

“Yeah, cool,” he nodded and switched on the television.

We watched a movie while we ate – Austin Powers in
Goldmember
. We both laughed at exactly the same bits. It was magic.

The next morning, I was up early. I’d not slept very well, as the events of the day went round and round in my head. But by morning I’d made some decisions.

First off, I wanted to make Adam breakfast before he left to meet Julie at the college. I did us the works – bacon, eggs, fried bread – the lot – not good for my heart specialist credentials, I know – but good for the soul. It was especially good for my soul, watching Adam tucking in and enjoying the food I’d prepared for him.

“That was ace, Dad,” he said, wiping up the last of his eggs with his bread.
“Didn’t know you could cook like that.”

“Oh, I’ve been learning. I’m quite proud of myself, actually. I can produce a few good dishes now.”

“Well if they’re all like that – I’m glad I’m coming home.” He glanced at his watch. “I better get away – don’t want to miss my chance to get signed up.”

As he stood up to go, he caught me looking at him.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing,” I replied. “Only – well – it’s just – I’m very proud of you, Adam.”

“Daft bugger,” he said, but he was grinning broadly.

After Adam left, I cleared away the breakfast things and gave the flat a bit of a clean up. Then I packed up my stuff, but I didn’t head straight for the car. I found myself gazing out of the window, then pacing, then back at the window again. I was keen to be on my way, but I was also procrastinating. I knew I should phone Bruce. Now that I’d finally made up my mind, I owed it to him to give him as much warning as possible. I turned from the window, pulled my mobile from my pocket and called his direct line. He was slow to answer and I almost hung up.

“I don’t quite know how to tell you this,” I said, without preamble. “But I’m not coming in tomorrow. In fact I’m not coming in for the next month.”

“Right, that’s-”

“I’m taking compassionate leave for the next fortnight, right up until my annual leave starts.”

“Okay I’m-”

“I’m sorry, Bruce. I know this will make things really difficult – with Anna’s leave coming up – but the truth is I’m not up to the job at the moment.”

“Look, Tom, don’t worry-”

“But-”

“Tom, Tom, let me speak!” he laughed.

I hadn’t exactly expected him to laugh.

“It’s okay, really,” he went on. “I’ve been expecting this. I’d already started making contingency plans.”

“Oh, right.”

“I’m just surprised it’s taken you this long,” he said.

“Ah.” I gave a little laugh.

“What?”

“It’s just – Adam’s decided to come home and the friend he’s been staying with – she said the same to him – when he announced his decision.”

“Well, that’s good news! Like father, like son, eh?” Bruce laughed again.

“Yes – I suppose so – yes.” I had to swallow hard to get rid of a sudden lump in my throat.

“So, all the more reason to be at home now,” said Bruce.

“Yes – but –how will you manage, and what about Anna’s leave?”

“Not your problem, Tom. As I said before, no one is indispensable. And to be honest, if you’d taken much longer to decide for yourself – I might have had to order you to take leave anyway.”

“But-”

“Don’t get me wrong. You haven’t put a foot wrong in theatre throughout all your troubles – but what if, Tom, what if? You’d never have forgiven yourself – and I wouldn’t have forgiven myself for not insisting you take time out. You’re doing the right thing. Right now, your place is at home. I’d feel better knowing you were getting your personal life sorted out”

“So I’d be doing you a favour?” I laughed.

“Exactly.”
I heard him smile.

“You’re one smooth operator, Bruce – pun intended.”

“Yes I am. Now go and see to your wife and kids.”

So, I headed home – home to Gullane. Dan had been great staying at the house, but now I knew that Rosie was out of danger, my place was at home, full time, with the kids. They needed their dad – and I needed them.

Rosie

Chapter Forty

When I woke up on the Monday morning, the day after Tom had taken Sam up to St
Andrews,
there was a note on the bedside cabinet from one of the night nurses. Tom had called and left me a message. I was relieved to read that everything had gone well. He’d said he’d be in to see me later that day. I knew he’d be back at work, so I wasn’t sure when he’d drop in. I was looking forward to seeing him and hoped we’d at last start to sort our lives out. But as the day wore on I became increasingly anxious when Tom didn’t arrive.

It was after four o’clock when my bedside phone rang. It was Tom.

“Hi, Rosie, how are you feeling today? When I rang last night the nurse said you’d been very tired yesterday.”

“Oh, I’m not bad – still tired – but you know-”

“Look, make sure you take it easy. Don’t let the visitors tire you out.”

“I thought you’d be visiting today.” I paused, trying to keep the tremor out of my voice. I really wanted – needed to see him. “Where are you? Aren’t you here in the hospital?”

“Ah, well – no, actually. I’m at home – in Gullane-”

“At home?
You’re not staying at the flat anymore? And weren’t you due back at
work
today?”

“Yes, I’m back at home and I’m not going back to work for at least a month. Things happened yesterday – well, it wasn’t just yesterday – but I reached a decision – my place is here with the children.”

“Right-”

“The most amazing thing happened, Rosie. Adam – he’s coming back – he’s coming home to stay. He just announced it – while we were driving back.”

“Oh, Tom, that’s fantastic!” I lay back against the pillows, savouring this good news.

“Yes, it is. We got on so well yesterday, Rosie. You were right - he’s grown up –made decisions. But he’ll want to tell you all about that himself. The main thing is he’s coming back.”

“And Sam – she was okay – your message said you left her getting settled in.”

“Yes, she was fine. She was a bit quiet on the journey up – she’s worried about you – about us.”

“Oh…” My feelings of joy about Adam were replaced by guilt about Sam. Tom and I had to get things sorted out.

“I did my best to reassure her, and she did brighten up when she saw her room in the residence and met a friend from school. I’m sure she’ll call you later.”

“So are you coming in to the hospital – to see me? I was hoping – expecting…” A tear ran down my cheek as I lay back looking up at the ceiling. I just wanted to see him.

“Ah – now you’ve not to worry, Rosie, it’s not serious but-”

“What, what’s not serious?” I sat up, alert and tense.

“I’ll not be in to see you for a while I’m afraid. It’s Max – he’s got some sort of tummy bug. Started around midnight apparently – he was sick several times. Dan was up most of the night with him.”

“Oh – right,” I lay back again.

“When I got home this morning, Ma was here. She’d been about to phone me. The thing is - he passed out in the bathroom this morning and bashed his head. Ma was concerned he had concussion. So I bundled him up and took him off to the Sick Children’s to get him checked out.”

“And – is he okay?”

“Yes – we’ve to keep a close eye on him for the next twenty-four hours and to watch out for dehydration. This bug’s a vicious one apparently – a lot of people have fallen victim. He’s tucked up in bed now – feeling very sorry for himself.”

“Poor Max, I wish I could see him.”

“I know you do. And that’s the other thing, Rosie. I called Amanda Knox – she says we should all stay away for at least ten days. It’s possible that some of the rest of us will come down with it during that time - or could carry it without actually succumbing. Her advice is no visiting you until we’re in the clear.”

“Oh – right – I see…” My tears flowed freely now. The disappointment was devastating. A sob escaped.

“Rosie – Rosie –
are
you all right? You mustn’t worry. Max will be fine. It’s just a tummy bug
- and
I’ll be here to look after him.”

“It’s not that, Tom. It’s just – it’s just I – we were going to have a talk about – about everything.” Another sob escaped.

“Oh, Rosie, I know.” His voice was very soft. He cleared his throat. “I’m disappointed too, but we can’t take any chances. If you were to catch this bug – well – you know – it could be extremely serious.”

“Yes, I know – you’re right, but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.”

“I’m going to have to go, Rosie. Max is calling for me. You take care. We’ll all phone often and we’ll see you as soon as we’re allowed.”