Chances Aren't (19 page)

"I know, right. I am so attracted to you." I look into her eyes. "Words can't describe how attracted to you I am."

"I like you too. I do," she says before looking away to the floor.

"Then see me tonight."

She sighs and glances my way. "Maybe, I… Just call me later."

Turning to face me, she brings her lips to mine. We kiss, but only briefly, before she stands and walks to the dresser. She writes on a piece of paper and turns back to me. "I left my number, but I really have to go."

"Okay. Bye."

She disappears around the corner. After I hear her open and close the door, I flop down on the bed, pull the covers over me and sigh.

Exhausted, I sleep for a few hours then lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, going over the events in my head. I'm comparing what I can remember from twenty five years ago to the fresh memories from last night. What went wrong? Why was she acting so strangely when she left? I'm pretty sure that twenty five years ago, she seemed much less torn when she left me that morning. I didn't ask to see her again back then. I expected I would simply see her at work and it would happen naturally. I convince myself that this is a good sign. Previously she was perfectly content to leave me that morning, but in this go around, she wasn't. Clearly she was at some point in love with another guy, and our night together is giving her pause. Perhaps her original plan was for some revenge sex with a random guy. The young Ben was perfect for that role, but throw in the more experienced one, one that rocks her world and she's rethinking all of it. Maybe it's a little unfair to use all that I've learned to trick Laura into thinking Ben is something that he's not. She must think he's some kind of ahead-of-his time sexual dynamo. It's sort of like pitting a Super Bowl champion against a high school team. I'm not bragging, but she didn't stand a chance.

Looking out the window, a smile spreads across my face. It's been a long time since I've felt any joy in my life. Being young again and being here on the verge of something great is a refreshing change. As much as I loved Emily, I'm not one of those people who believe in soul mates. Sure there are couples who are meant to be together, but I'm of the opinion that out of the billions of people on the planet there are at least several hundred suitable partners for each of us, the problem, of course, is more one of logistics. You'd be lucky to come across more than a handful of your possible matches during your lifetime and even less likely to meet one when you're unattached. Now that I've seen Laura again, I'm convinced that I met two of mine within days of one another and maybe had I chosen a different path, both Emily and I would've been much happier— and now, I can finally do something about that.

To pull this off, I simply need to keep young Ben from meeting Emily tonight and then somehow teach him everything I know so he can keep Laura happy. I need to do it as soon as possible, since I'm not sure when my time here will run out. Hell, even William didn't know when it would be over. I suppose that just as quickly and easily as I came here, I could go back. For all I know he's watching and if he is, he's seen me satisfy my initial goal of reliving that one perfect night. At any time he or whoever is controlling this thing could end it and when it's over and I return from where I came, if I can successfully pull all this off, everything in my life will be different. That I'm sure about.

In the shower, I rack my brain figuring out how to get Ben up to speed, bedroom wise. There's no Internet, I'm pretty sure the DVD player hasn't been invented yet. Sure there are video tapes, but where the hell am I going to get an instructive sex video and do it quickly? I could probably scrape up some lame porn, but he's already seen a bunch and look where that's gotten him— yeah, nowhere. It's left him with partners uncomfortably squirming to get away from him, and girls who are glad when the evening is over. He could do a whole lot better. I could probably go to a library and find a book, but he needs some hands on lessons. Short of hiring a hooker, I'm going to need to find items to stand in for female parts. Recalling an article I believe I read in Playboy in my mid-twenties, a few things come to mind. When I return to the room, I choose another one of Ben's classically lame eighties-wear outfits, the least hideous one I could find. I call Laura from the phone in the hall, but only reach her sister, leaving a message to call me back. Searching the room for cash, I find a ten dollar bill and head out the door.

Thirty minutes later I return to find young Ben in the room, standing at the dresser. When I walk through the door, he smiles at me, but doesn't say a word.

"I've figured out how we can do this," I say.

As I'm opening up the bag, he nails me right in the jaw with his fist. I go down hard. Shaking my head, I glance up to him. "What the hell did you do that for?"

"For locking me in the closet and I should hit you again just for having sex with Laura."

After rubbing my jaw, I hold my hands up in surrender. "Do you really need to hit me again?"

"I don’t know, I'm thinking about it." He falls down into the beanbag chair and folds his arms across his chest.

I struggle to get on my feet, picking up my bag along the way, then move to the bed. "We've got a lot of work to do, so let's just call us even, okay?"

"Work?"

"Yeah, I'm going to teach you all that I know about giving a girl an orgasm. Now I'm no expert, but I've had—"

He scoffs. "I already know how."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"So, how many orgasms did you give Laura last night, huh?"

"She had a good time." He gives me a confident nod.

"How many?"

"I'm sure she, um, had at least one."

Pointing to the hole in the wall, I say, "I was watching the whole time from right—"

"Pervert," he interjects.

"Like I said, I was watching and... Actually I asked her and she confirmed it. I don't even think she ever got close with you. No offense."

"No way."

I look at him smugly. "I gave her two."

"Congrats."

"I'm serious."

"So am I." He sighs. "How do you know you gave her two?"

"You can tell."

"How?"

"If you give a girl an orgasm, you'll know."

His eyes glaze over as he looked past me. "I did hear her making an awful lot of noise while I was trapped in the closet."

"And if you heard it all the way over there, imagine how loud it was over here."

Rubbing his chin, he narrows his eyes. "What did you do?"

"First I used two fingers rubbing her G-spot while I licked her, and for the second one I got on top of her from behind and had sex with her while I rubbed her clitoris."

"G-spot, what the hell is that? I've never even heard of—"

"Don't worry, I'm not even sure if the G-spot was discovered until the nineties or something."

"Honestly, I've heard of the clitoris, but I'm really not exactly sure where it is."

"Sometimes it hides."

His jaw drops. "It hides?"

"Yeah, let me tell you the whole production, it isn't easy. It takes lots of work. Usually you don't get even remotely good at it until you've been with the same girl for like eight years trying a whole lot of stuff that doesn't work before you find what does."

"Shit."

"But I think I can help." I give him a confident look. "Do you really want to learn?"

"I guess."

"Great. Now let's start with something simple. For example breasts. I didn't see you spend any time with them at all. You've got to start there. I mean, after kissing her of course."

After pulling a bunch of grapes from my bag, I toss him one and slip one in my mouth. I roll it around on my tongue then hold it with my tongue against my top teeth and nod my head.

"Now do this," I struggle to say.

"What?"

I pull the grape out of my mouth. "Do that. The grape is like a nipple. The trick is to gnaw on it while trapping it between your tongue and your top teeth without biting down too hard. Some women like it harder than others. You've got to listen and pick up clues, which tell you to go harder or softer."

I place it back in my mouth and use my tongue to roll it around without biting down. Taking it out, I continue, "Now roll it around like that."

Young Ben gets to work biting down too hard on the first few. After a few tries he gets the hang of it and I remind him again to listen to his partner. To pick up her signals and figure out what she likes. I tell him the trick is to alternate between sucking the entire nipple with different degrees of force, licking the nipples and doing the grape trick. Some girls, I tell him, even like it when you bite down a little harder as they approach orgasm using both sets of teeth. I warn him though, not to get too carried away with the teeth.

Next I pull peaches from my bag and construct a makeshift vagina out of them by cutting a sliver away with a knife. I walk him through the location of the clitoris and the infamous G-spot. Then he follows along as I demonstrate licking techniques and as we do it both our peaches drip juice down our wrists.

Next up is what I call old faithful. Over the years it's the method by which I had the best chance of giving Emily an orgasm. I don't have any actual scientific data, but I estimate the success rate to be in the mid eighty percent range with Emily and last night with Laura I was one for one.

I attempt to demonstrate using the bean bag chair, but it goes horribly wrong. I can't get my hand under it and he really can't see what I'm doing.

After thinking a moment, I give him a hesitant look. "Um, so… I think there's no choice, but I'm going to have to actually show you how to do it."

"What do you mean?" He gives me a horrified look.

Waving my hand at him, I say, "It'll be fine. Just lay on the bed."

"Dude, you are not getting on top of me and—"

"This is important and we're going to keep our clothes on."

"Oh, yeah that makes it better. Screw you. No way."

"Don't be such a pussy."

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." He takes a step back and shakes his head.

"Lay on your stomach and be the girl."

"I said no."

I roll my eyes and sigh. "How about if I lay on the bed and you be the guy?"

"Um, that's not making it any more appealing."

I lift my hands. "Look, do you have a boner right now?"

He gives me a sickened look. "No, do you?"

"No I don't. So there is little chance with both of us fully clothed and neither of us sporting wood that one of us will inadvertently fuck the other, okay?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, this is important."

"All right." He sighs. "Let's just get it over with."

Moving onto the bed, I lay face down and spread my legs wide. "Okay, now get up here and, you know, get in the right position."

Craning my neck to look at him, I see he hasn't moved any closer. "Come on."

He exhales deeply, climbs on the bed and carefully positions himself over me.

"Really get in there. Lay on me."

"Wait this isn't what you really traveled back here to do is it?"

"What?"

"Have a gay affair with your younger self, because that seems really creepy."

I slump on the bed defeated and say in a tired voice, "Oh yes I want you, now take me big fella." After a few seconds I look back. "Hurry up will ya?"

"I can’t believe I'm actually doing this," he says and I feel him again hovering over me.

"Unless you are Long Dong Silver, which I
know
you’re not, you've got to actually get close."

Reaching around, I pull him down on me and feel
it
pressing in the wrong area. "Okay, scoot down, because it feels like you are trying to screw me in the ass and as I hope you know the vagina is a little south of that."

"All right, geez."

After feeling him adjust his position correctly, I say, "Okay good. Now support your weight on one elbow and slip your other arm under me and reach for where my clitoris would be, that is, if I had one."

Mumbling under his breath, he slips his hand under me and puts it right on my equipment.

"Come on. No, that's my dick."

He pulls his hand out. "Well, you said put it where the clitoris was."

"Yeah, but it's a little higher than that, where the pubic bone meets the shaft."

"Could you stop using words like shaft or I think I'm going to throw up."

"Come on let's just get this over with."

"All right."

Slipping his hand back under me, he places it now in a better position. "Okay, that's good."

"What now and hurry up because I think I'm really going to be sick."

"Now thrust and rub at the same time."

He starts thrusting and rubbing.

"Okay, good. But stop breathing on my neck like that."