Caught in the Devil's Sheets (14 page)

“Thank you,” I whisper, and stand still a moment.

When Odin releases me, he tilts my chin up and looks into my eyes. “See you later,” he says, his gaze penetrating me. Then he leaves, closing the door behind him.

I immediately lean my back against the door and sink to the floor.
Holy shit!
Things just got real.
What am I going to do?
I was just handed my golden ticket, but am I ready to board the express? My heart is beating hard in my chest and my breathing is quick as I take in everything Odin has just told me. I sit here on the floor a few minutes considering my possibilities. If all he wants is sex, he’s sure trying hard to get it.

Then there is a knock on the door behind me. I jump out of my skin. Sergio is my first thought, and fear rushes through me. I scramble down the hall and grab the gun off my night stand. Then hurry to make my way to the door. It’s Rick.

I tuck the gun into the back of my pants and open the door to him. Rick hugs me as usual as he enters.

“Erica here?” he asks.

“No. I was just getting ready to head to the hospital myself,” I tell him.

“Saw Odin taking off.” Rick must want to know what he was doing here.

“Yeah, he came by to drop my share of the Houston run off. He dropped me right at the hospital on our way in yesterday,” I tell him, though I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain. I pick my purse up off the coffee table and toss some things into it, including the gun I was hiding in my pants.

“Can we talk for a minute?” he asks, gesturing toward the couch, and I sit down opposite him.

“What’s up?” I think maybe he’s going to tell me something about Jaime.

“Have you heard anything more about Sergio?” Rick asks me in a serious tone that catches my nerves.

Rick is a very intimidating man. He’s less than 6 feet tall, but he’s bald and has mean, piercing eyes like Jaime. He doesn’t have much for facial hair, but his neck and arms are full of tattoos. Rick has the personality of someone who has killed before, which I assume he has. He’s always made me feel uneasy, but it’s a little easier not to let him bully me with a gun in my purse.

“No,” I say without hesitation, and I sincerely hope Rick doesn’t already know what Odin just told me. Even if he does, he can’t prove I know. “Jaime says it’s just a misunderstanding,” I say, pretending I truly believe him.

“Can I ask you something?” Rick looks at me with a sly grin I don’t like at all.

“What?” I ask getting exasperated with this whole talk.

“Do you and Odin have something going on?”

I’m not sure exactly what he means. I assume he’s asking if I’m sleeping with Odin, and he has no idea he just struck the wrong nerve.

“You know what I, for the life of me, can’t understand?” I ask, looking him square in the eye.

“What’s that?” He sounds amused.

“Jaime gets into trouble being stupid and rolling around with coke when he knew cops would be looking for him. Like a good wife I agree to keep working without him, because he asked me to.
He
arranges for Odin to ride with me, which I was pissed as hell about. Now it looks like Jaime’s gotten into more trouble with Sergio and ended up in the hospital. And you have the audacity to accuse
me
of being unfaithful! You’re going to point all the fingers at me and none at Jaime, whose fault this whole mess is. Why don’t you ask him what’s up with Sergio, cause he won’t tell me! Why don’t you ask him why he set me up with Odin, because it certainly wasn’t my idea! I am not sleeping with anyone! I’m not some cheap slut!” I say, standing up from the couch, entirely offended. “But if everyone is going to keep accusing me of it, maybe I should at least reap the benefits. After all, Odin really is a good looking guy!” I say defiantly. I toss my purse over my shoulder and head for the door. “Lock the door on your way out!” I snap back to Rick as I slam it behind me.

Who the fuck does he think he is?
I dig in my purse and find my keys, unlocking the Mustang.

Rick is coming out of the house as I pull out of the driveway. I’m sure I leave tire marks on the road behind me and I slam on the gas pedal. I have had it up to my ears with people’s shit today. Sorry, Rick, but you picked the wrong girl to fuck with.

Odin’s proposal has made me feel stronger already. I aim to go to the hospital, but I don’t have anything to say to Jaime right now. I’m in desperate need of a distraction from my growing feelings for Odin. Desire is begging me to throw myself at him and it’s everything I have to hang on to my self-control. I’m sure if I sleep with him, he’ll quit caring. I go to Kelli’s house instead, and to my delight, she is home.

I tell her in confidence that I’m strongly considering leaving Jaime, but I leave out all the details of me and Odin’s previous conversation. She, of course, knows all about our fighting and drama. Cody is home but he’s in their sunroom playing his bass while we discus my marital issues in the living room.

Kelli agrees that leaving Jaime is the best thing for me, but even she understands that I don’t want to walk away from the Club. She reminds me of the time I left my ex-boyfriend Ryan when we were in high school. We both knew it needed to happen, but it was hard to break his heart. She says there’s no point in fighting the inevitable, and she’s right.

“Hey, Lila,” Cody greets me when he comes in to get a beer. Cody is the only person I know who prefers warm Pabst Blue Ribbon.

“Hey,” I say back.

Cody sits to join our conversation, which now changes to their plans to get a new car. Part of me is jealous that Kelli has someone like Cody. He’s a member, she gets all the same privileges I get, only she doesn’t have the life I have. Cody would never let her get involved in club shit like I am. While I love to earn my keep, part of me just wants to be Kelli and have my own life.

Eventually I go ahead and make a trip to the hospital. I call Jaime and ask him if I can bring him anything on my way, but he doesn’t answer. I decide to bring him Starbucks. When I get to his room, Jeff is standing watch. Here Jaime needs a door guard, but I shouldn’t be worried in the slightest about Sergio?

Rick is sitting by Jaime’s bedside and they are talking under their breath. Usually I would walk back out until they finish but instead I stand there and stare at them.

“Care to let me in?” I ask hoping they’ll include me in on whatever is going on. I hand Jaime his coffee.

“Nothing, hon. I’ll let you two have some time alone,” Rick says, regarding me politely as he gets up and leaves the room.

“What’s up, babe?” Jaime asks as I take a seat.

“Just wanted to check on you.” I smile politely. I feel as fake as he is, being nice to him.

When I get to my car I send a text to Erica {Odin’s gonna spend the night with us until Jaime comes home. Just a little extra security while Jaime’s tied up.}-Lila

{He can sleep in my bed!!! LOL}-Erica.

I roll my eyes and smile. She is so in love with him. I’m starting to see what her fuss is about. I toss my phone in my purse and head home. Erica is there putting dinner together and she has on a dress and makeup.
Oh please! Seriously?

“You look nice!” I tease her. She rolls her eyes and thanks me.

“Will he be here for dinner?” She’s overly excited.

“I don’t know,” I tell her, and I head to my room for a while.

When Odin does show up, he’s just in time for dinner. Erica gushes over him all night, but he’s polite enough to pretend not to notice. We eat then the three of us stay up a while talking and laughing, but eventually it’s time to turn in.

I show Odin where all the spare bedding is and head into my bedroom. Some small part of me imagines him coming into my room after I fall asleep. It’s a silly fantasy, but then again, he did try to kiss me. I drift to sleep in peace, knowing Odin is standing guard on my couch.

Thursday is a pretty boring day. Erica and Odin are both in and out. Other than a pointless trip to check my PO Box, which is empty, my day is uneventful. We order takeout Chinese food for dinner, and Erica asks us to keep eyes on the kids while she runs out for an hour. They fall asleep early, leaving Odin and I alone, talking in the living room. Odin is browsing through my music and movie selection.

“What’s this?” he asks pulling out a sparkly purple CD case.

Oh God.
“Those are my CD’s from junior high school that I grew out of. There is a lot of really lame shit in there!” I warn before he begins looking through it.

“Oooh, what did Lila like when she was 13?” He’s laughing.

Most of the CD’s are burned, so there’s no telling what’s on them. I know there are some Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears CD’s in there. He pulls out a mixed CD that says “Lila’s Tunes” with a heart, and pops it into the player. I hold my breath to see what comes first. Linkin Park.

“It’s been so long since I heard this song,” I say and I begin singing along with the lyrics I have memorized in my head.

Odin and I kick back on the couch a while. He tells me that Felix has put a green light on meeting up with T-Dawg next week. It always makes me uneasy meeting up with new people, but Chuck seems to think he’s legit and it could wind up being a great run for us. Though truthfully, I’m over being on the road.

If Jaime and I do break up, what will I do next? Get back into caregiving? Run for a while longer and save some cash first?
I hadn’t really thought of this. We do have a small savings started together, not that he’s likely to let me have much of it. I also have a start in my safety deposit box.

“I know this song,” Odin says turning up the track and I listen, as Red Jumpsuit Apparatus sings
Face Down
. I cringe as the abusive relationship this song is about is depicted. A girl, covering up with makeup and telling herself that it’s not going to keep happening to her again and again. She cries alone while he promises her that he loves her. I used to love this song in high school. But now it makes me uncomfortable. It hits home in a way I wish I didn’t relate to. Odin sings with the chorus.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?

Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?

The irony is not lost as the singer states that one day, the girl will have had it and she’ll find herself with someone else. Odin is eying me speculatively, looking to see if I will respond. We sit in silence staring at each other until the song is over.

“Have you had enough, Lila?” Odin quotes the song, while asking me seriously. I have had enough of being pushed around, but I hate to be looked at like a victim in a situation I have willingly stayed in.

“You know what I’ve had enough of?” I ask rhetorically.

“What?” He puts his elbow on the back of the couch and rests his head in his hand, watching me intently.

“I have had enough of people’s questions! I have no good answers!” I spurt out ridiculously.

Odin smiles, his perfect teeth gleaming at me as he laughs at my outburst. I laugh with him helplessly, letting all my cares free as I do. I feel like a crazy person laughing at my own fucked up life.

Erica makes her way into the door and she looks pissed.

“What’s up?” I ask her, as she plops down in the living room with us.

“I bumped into Tommy at the gas station,” she says enraged.

Oh no. Please tell me you didn’t cause a scene, trial starts Monday, tell me you didn’t do anything stupid
.

She tells us he called her a whore in the store and that they got into it. I roll my eyes, but it could be worse.

“I can’t wait to give my testimony about him in court!” she says, as if that’s the reason she is going at all. She can be so self-absorbed sometimes it’s sickening.

I let her pile her problems on Odin, sauntering off to bed myself. Jaime will be home tomorrow and I intend to enjoy my bed to myself for one more night. I may be sleeping by myself a lot more soon. The idea isn’t all that appealing. Truthfully, I’ve never been one for being alone. Who knows what will come next. Single could be fun for a while. I wish Billy was still talking to me. He’d most likely be pleased to know I’m considering divorce.

Again I fall asleep thinking about Billy. I seem to be able to push him from my memory during my normal busy day, but late at night, especially when I am alone, the memory of Billy lingers in my head. I often dream about him. Tonight, I fall asleep remembering the day he got his first car. It was a Buick. He took me out for a ride in the snow and we slid all over the road like we were in a boat, but it was fun. The kind of fun you really only get in the middle of nowhere, where there is nothing to do but be together. And we were, just me and him, things were simple. I was happy.

Devil’s Cut

Odin is helping Lila fold up all the blankets when Jaime is dropped off earlier than expected. Jaime doesn’t seem to care that Odin’s been staying on his couch, but he asks him for a word in private.

Odin casts a glance at Lila who watches as Odin follows Jaime into the garage. The last two sleepless nights spent on the couch have really got him thinking how much he’d like to have Lila for himself. To him, Lila needs almost as much rescuing as those girls did from his father.
I couldn’t help them, but I can help her.

Odin can’t imagine what Jaime has to say as he takes a stool across from him. Odin doesn’t bother taking a seat himself. Odin wishes he could tell Jaime that he knows about him dealing to the Kings and ripping them off for that matter. But he’d promised Lila he’d let her do things her way, having faith that she’d make the right decision.

“Hey man, I just wanted to say thank you, for all that you’re doing for me and Lila right now. I really appreciate you looking after her.”

“She’s a good woman,” Odin says, crossing his arms and looking down on Jaime, who is careful not to make direct eye contact.

“Yeah, she is. I don’t know what I would do without her. She really keeps things going around here. And you were right, I should treat her better. I know that,” Jaime says, admitting his fault.