Catching Serenity (44 page)

~
CHAPTER 45~

Serenity
’s steps felt heavy, weighted down. She had that odd sensation again, as though she was moving in slow motion. Observing from a distance. While she wanted to be an active participant, something held her back. Fear? Shock? Justin needed his mother, not a shell-shocked woman incapable of taking care of either one of them.

“
Everything okay?” Elise asked.

“
That’s the question of the day, the week, the month...” Serenity shook her head as she took her place beside her mother. “I’m sure you get the picture.” She glanced at Justin. Giggling, he talked with Clinton like they were long-lost buddies as they worked on the sand castle. “What a beautiful sight. One I never would have imagined. Until now.” She moved her gaze back to her mother, uncertain whether she should thank her. For so long, she’d been riddled with doubts, guilt, accusations. Acceptance and forgiveness could be a tricky proposition. Were there any road maps or guidebooks for dealing with conflicting emotions in a situation like hers?

Read my Word, child. There you
’ll find your answers.
A chill ran through her. Was that the Lord whispering in her heart or was she truly going crazy?

Elise nodded.
“The best sight in the world, other than seeing
you
with Justin.” She handed her the sand scooper. “Justin assigned me the task of digging the moat. You’re supposed to build a tower.”

“
A tower?” Serenity asked, trying to ground her thoughts in the reality on the beach, surrounding her. Taking the scoop, she speared it into the damp sand, ripe for digging and molding. “Why? To imprison someone?” Dumb question. She was thankful Justin wasn’t paying attention to them and hadn’t heard.

“
No,” Elise said, her voice low. “More like to set someone free.”

“
That makes no sense.” Curling her hands around the sand, Serenity fashioned the beginnings of a round tower. “Then again, a lot of things don’t make sense right now.”

“
I’ll tell you a little story that might help put it in perspective.” Elise continued digging in the sand, and a narrow, shallow trench was taking form. A perfect moat. “Justin has a great imagination. He’s been reading above age level since he turned four. We had a lot of fun making up bedtime stories, too. One of his favorites is about a young prince who lives in a tower bedroom in a castle far, far away.”

“
In a kingdom called Croisette Shores?”

“
We never named it, actually.” They shared a smile. “He called it the tower of his imagination. You see, when he was in that tower, he could do anything, be anything, go anywhere, be anyone. One night he’d pretend he had the ability to fly. Another night, he’d possess the power to scale tower walls. He loved riding the flying, fire-breathing dragons. Each time he told the story of the prince in the tower, he’d add something new. Sometimes it was more mundane. He’d speak in a foreign language, meet a new playmate, ride a bike…you name it.”

“
So, you’re saying the tower was his escape, his gateway to a different world where anything was possible?”

“
That’s exactly what I’m saying.” As they worked together, side-by-side, Elise nudged her shoulder. “I’ll tell you something else. Justin’s favorite story? It was about a beautiful princess with long blonde hair named Serenity.”

Serenity laughed under her breath.
“I’m afraid I’ll be a big disappointment to him if he thinks I’m goodness and light all the time.”

“
Trust me, he knows that. I kept him as sheltered as I could, but I also made sure I grounded him in reality. But he’s still only a very young boy. Let’s try to keep him that way as long as we can. I took him places, like your dad and I used to do with you. I’ve tried to cultivate a love of history, of the wonders of architecture, the marvel of what God’s made. Justin’s been to New York countless times. I’ve tried to encourage a love of the finer things in life.”

“
How’d you manage that?” Serenity asked. “I mean, knowing your circumstances.”

“
We always had a chaperone, but they kept their distance. We were never allowed to be alone, just the two of us. So, in a way, we were imprisoned, too. But, above all, I wanted Justin to feel safe. I never wanted that child to feel as though we were in any kind of danger.”

“
Were you afraid?”

Elise flinched.
“There were times, yes. But I clung to God’s promises, Serenity. Before I left Croisette Shores with Liam, I saw my Bible, forgotten in a drawer. Something—most likely the Holy Spirit—cried out to me to take it. And I mean cried out because it was no soft whisper. It was more like a command. For once in my life, I obeyed. Reading the scriptures comforted me.”

Serenity nodded.
“I’ve been reading my Bible. I never realized how things that took place so long ago could have such relevance for today’s world. I can see the strong parallels, and it reinforces how timeless God’s Word is.”

“
Exactly. He’s the God of all things, the Ruler of all time.” When she glanced at her, Elise’s eyes were bright with emotion. “It fills my soul with joy to know you’ve embraced your faith and we can share that bond. Did you say this is when you lived in Atlanta?”

“
A friend invited me to church. Trust me,” Serenity said with a small laugh, “I’ve got so much to learn.”

“
We never stop learning. We’re not meant to know everything in this world, but if we pray and try to live according to His Word, we’ll have a good life. At least the life He wants us to enjoy here on earth. Each person, each moment is a blessing. Sometimes I’d find myself questioning Him and His purpose in being so far from home with your son, but I loved the verse in the  Book of Job that says, ‘
And to man He said, behold the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; And to depart from evil is understanding.
’ There are a number of verses in Job that talk about evildoers. There’s a verse that says, ‘
The murderer arises at dawn; He kills the poor and the needy, And at night he is as a thief
.’” Elise shook her head. “I tried not to think about the things that went on outside the walls of that house, things that were being ordered, evil being carried out on the orders of an old man I was keeping alive, on borrowed time.” Her mother visibly shuddered.

“
What a terrible position to have been in,” Serenity said.

“
I prayed for him to die plenty of times. I always thought I’d wake up one morning and he’d have passed in his sleep. The more I think about it, the more I realized—as difficult as it was—God had everything in His control the entire time. Just as He always has, and always will. I cried out to Him, and He answered my prayer. In
His
perfect time.” Elise placed her scooper on the ground and sat beside her. “May I?”

Not sure what she meant,
Serenity nodded. When Elise moved her arm around her shoulders, she rested her head on her shoulder. “I’ve missed you, Mama. More than you know. There were times when I didn’t want to feel that way, though.”

“
I know, honey. You must have hated me.”

“
No,” Serenity said, determined not to cry although she sniffled. Then she took a deep breath before continuing. “I couldn’t hate you. I hated what I thought you’d done. More than anything, I hated what you’d done to Dad.”

“
I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to him.”

“
I don’t think Dad expects that. Did you visit him in the hospital?”

She lowered her gaze.
“I didn’t go to his room, but I brought flowers and left them at the front desk.”

“
Didn’t anyone recognize you?”

A slight smile lifted the corners of her mouth.
“Surely you’ve noticed I’ve changed my appearance somewhat. Besides that, most people in this town either believe I’m dead or thought I’d never return to Croisette Shores. There will be speculation, but I’ll never say a word. We’ll be known around town as the Mysterious McClarens. Kind of has a ring to it, don’t you think?”

Serenity
’s gaze collided with her mother’s. “Why not? I’ve heard the whole French royal family speculation my entire life.” She smoothed her hand over Elise’s head. “I miss your blonde hair. Are you going to let it grow again, dye it?”

“
Yes. Your father hates the red hair. Well, it’s more that it’s short, not so much the color. And he’s trying to fatten me up. Don’t worry,” she said, with a sidelong glance. “He’s doing it the healthy way. You’ve been good for him since you’ve come home again. In so many ways. Thank you for that.”

Wrapping her arms around her mother
’s slender frame, Serenity held on tight, clinging to her. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you. Not only did you give me life, but you gave me my life back. Thank you, Mama.” Leaning back, she placed her hands on either side of her mother’s cheeks, looking into the face she’d always remembered.
Lovely.
A few lines were more deeply etched, but she was beautiful for a woman who’d been through so much. More than she even knew, most likely. Pulling away, she murmured, “
Thank
you. You suffered so much for my sake, and for Justin.”

Elise
’s blue eyes, so like hers, softened. “That’s what you do for those you love more than life itself, Serenity. You sacrifice. It’s part of life. Although, in our case, we all gave more than our share, I’d say. I understand it works both ways. You and your Dad sacrificed a lot, too. My actions impacted you as much, if not more, than me. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Serenity kissed her forehead.
“You don’t need to ask.”

Another tear slipped down Elise
’s face. “I do, but thank you.”

“
I don’t understand everything about what it means to be a Christian—a
good
one—anyway,” Serenity said. “But I know He forgave me for all the things I’ve done wrong in my life.” Pulling out of the hug, she shaped the tower as she cupped more sand in her hands. “I just wish there was some way you could have let Dad know somehow, but what’s done is done. We can’t change the past, but we’re together again…this side of Heaven.”

“
Justin knows the Lord, too. He understands about sacrifice and what Jesus did for us on the cross. I think, in time as he grows and matures, we’ll explain more to him about what happened. But let’s wait until he’s older and able to grasp the enormity of it all.”

Serenity nodded and brushed away a tear from her mother
’s cheek. “How’d you explain to Justin about…me and Dad?”

Elise
’s shoulders sagged and she sat back on her heels. “That was the toughest challenge and I had to twist the truth a little. It’s difficult to be honest with a child as smart as Justin and yet shield him from the harshest realities. Justin has only known about you and your father for the past year. I waited until he came to me, asking questions. All his book reading clued him in that families were often more than just a grandmother. I simply told him that we had to leave our home. I asked him to believe me when I said we’d go back one day.”

“
And he didn’t press for more details? He accepted it at face value?”

“
Yes, he did,” Elise said. “Because I’d never lied to him before.”

“
It’s all about trust, isn’t it? Trust in the ones you love, and trust in God to work it all out in His perfect timing. I mean, what’s five years to the Almighty?” Her lips curved. “Probably a tiny blip on the radar that barely registers.” Her smile sobered. “Justin knows Jackson, too, doesn’t he? I don’t mean in a ‘just met’ way, either. They’re familiar with one another.”

“
You’re getting it. Keep thinking along those lines,” Elise said, digging in the sand.

“
Justin called him Doc Jack.” Putting her hand on her mother’s forearm, she stilled her actions. “You’ve taken him to see Jackson? In a professional capacity?”

Elise met her gaze and held it steady, but she neither
confirmed nor denied the truth.

Serenity tossed the sand scooper to the ground.
“He
knew
?” Struggling to gain control of her emotions, she felt as though her head might explode. “How long, Mama?”