Catalyst (The Best Days #1) (22 page)

August was hotter than July, but Rory didn’t mind.  She’d
landed a summer job at a handmade jewelry kiosk in the mall and got to spend all day in the air conditioning anyway.  It was an easy position that gave her plenty of time to people watch and text Carson in between customers.

Carson had settled into his new life in the city well.  True to his word, he’d returned faithfully each weekend to visit Rory.  As she’d suspected, her excitement at seeing him increased tenfold after spending some time away from him.  Despite – or maybe because of – the distance, their relationship felt stronger than ever.

Being apart meant they had to talk.  They couldn’t just sit in silence at the movies or make out in his car.  They had to actually communicate.  And talking, Rory had long ago concluded, was a good thing.

She got to know Carson on an even dee
per level.  They talked about their pasts, their hopes and their dreams.  They talked about goals, plans, fears and memories.  They didn’t have everything in common but that was alright.  They complemented each other.  Carson’s ambition and Rory’s adventurous nature made for a good match. 

With Rory’s new job came a regular paycheck.  It wasn’t much, but it was enough. 
Rory’s second written exam went better than her first had and, while she hadn’t aced it, she was now the proud owner of a driver’s license.  She was particularly pleased to get it before Rebecca got hers.  The sisters were on much better terms but sibling rivalry, Rory figured, is something a person never quite outgrows.

After some fast talking and a whole lot of bargaining, Rory had finally managed to convince Rebecca that they should pool their money together to buy a car. 
Her sister hadn’t been sold on the idea to begin with, but Rory could turn on the charm and be persuasive when she needed to be.  Eventually, Rebecca had agreed that maybe buying a car wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.  So yesterday they’d done exactly that.

The tiny little silver foreign automobile wasn’t fancy and didn’t come with a ton of features, but it served its purpose well.  It was decent on gas and reliable on the highway, which was exactly what Rory needed.

When work was done, Rory raced to the parking lot.  She needed to get home before dusk.  Every evening when the sun went down and it finally cooled off outside, Sheck came over.  They were working on putting together a band and to Rory’s surprise it was actually a pretty fun project.  It felt good to be a part of something bigger than her.

The spirited street hockey tournaments were a thing of the past now that Justin was gone.  In the beginning Rory had felt sad about that, but the band helped some.  It was something new to focus her energy on.  Old traditions would always hold a special place in her heart, but new traditions were
making just as much of an impression on her.

All day long Rory had been humming a melody that had just popped into her head.  She was eager to share it with Sheck and hopefully, turn it into something more than just a string of notes that lived inside her head. 

But she wasn’t headed home – not yet.  She had a stop to make first.

The drive took Rory to the outskirts of town.  She pulled off the highway and onto a winding gravel road.  At some point she shut the music in the car off.  She was always
one to play music in the car, the louder the better.  But out here, it felt disrespectful.

R
ows upon rows of white crosses encased within a wrought iron fence greeted her.  Many of the graves were adorned with bouquets.  Colorful bursts of pink, mauve and orange flowers brightened the landscape.  It would almost be beautiful if each and every bouquet didn’t symbolize a loss someone, somewhere, had experienced.

Grace’s grave was easy to find.  It was the one with three elaborate and expensive looking bouquets, two teddy bears and a beautiful crystal angel ornament nestled into the soil beside her tombstone.
 

Rory wasn’t sure who had put all that there.  Maybe it had been Grace’s parents or other relatives.  Ma
ybe it had been friends from her old school, if she’d had any.  Or maybe it had been Hilary or Monica or any other one of the many Belleview High students who’d been so vocal about their so-called grief in the wake of Grace’s passing.

It didn’t matter.  All that mattered was that Grace was missed.
  People thought about her.  Her life had meant something.

The grass hadn’t filled in yet.  The soil around Grace’s grave was rich and dark, a reminder of how recently she’d been buried. 
It was a bit of a shock to Rory.  In some ways it felt like Grace had just died yesterday but in other ways, it seemed like it had happened ions ago.  Rory could hardly even remember the person she’d been Before. 

The cemetery was mostly deserted aside from an elderly couple walking arm-in-arm at the far end.  Rory knelt on the soft, supple earth at the edge of Grace’s grave.  She ran her hand lightly over the dirt, smoothing its uneven surface. 

“I should have brought you flowers,” she whispered apologetically.  She wasn’t sure why she was whispering; it just seemed like the appropriate thing to do.  “I’ll bring you flowers next time,” she vowed.

Rory sat in silence for a while, taking comfort in the way the gentle late afternoon breeze caressed her skin.  It was almost like it was trying to soothe her, carrying her burdens away on its invisible wings.

She wasn’t sure why she’d put off visiting Grace’s grave for so long.  In all honesty she’d been dreading it, but now that she was here it felt good.  She was also glad she’d come alone. 
That
had been the push she’d needed to retake her driving exam. 

When Rory had realized she needed to visit the cemetery for closure, she’d known without a doubt that it was something she
had to do on her own. 

She appreciated the support she
’d gotten from her loved ones, especially Rebecca, Sheck and Carson, each of whom had helped in their own way.  But Rory didn’t need or want them at her side for this.  It was something she had to do by herself and just as importantly, something she
could
do on her own.

“I had no idea how strong I was until, you know…After,” she confided in the tombstone
, imagining that maybe somewhere Grace was listening.  “You’ve given me confidence I didn’t know I had.  You’ve changed the way I see the world… the way I treat other people… even the way I think of myself.”

A warm blush and a slow smile spread across Rory’s face.  “You even brought me and Carson together.”  Rory lowered her head, tracing her finger over a small tuft of grass that was poking out from the soil.  Soon, she knew, all the dirt would be filled in with grass.  She swallowed a lump in her throat before continuing, a gentle smile still gracing her face.

“I got my driver’s licence you know…my first car, too.  You’re going to miss out on so many firsts,” Rory murmured.  “It isn’t fair.”

She leaned in closer. 

“You know, they say these are the best days of our lives.  I’m not so sure about that myself…it’s kind of a depressing thought that it might all be downhill from here, isn’t it?  But the point is you should be here to decide for yourself whether it’s your teens, your twenties – hell, maybe even your sixties or seventies – that are the best times of your life.  But sixteen years, Grace…sixteen years is all you’ll ever have.  It isn’t right.”

Rory
paused as a realization hit her, gathering her thoughts.  Then, slowly, she spoke.  “You know what?  I resented the way the cheerleaders reacted to your death because it felt like they were romanticizing it.  There’s nothing romantic or noble or poetic about this.  It was a senseless, completely avoidable tragedy,” Rory insisted, her voice growing angry at the last part.

“I’m not angry at you,” she quickly assured the
tombstone, not wanting to be misunderstood.  “I’m just upset that you felt so alone that you…well.  Anyway, I want you to know that you’re not forgotten.  I won’t forget you.”

Rory chewed her bottom lip, hesitating briefly before continuing.

“For a while there, I thought the best way to honor your memory was to punish myself every single day.  I didn’t think I deserved to be happy or fall in love when you’ll never get to experience anything life has to offer ever again.”

Rory studied the angel figurine intently as a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

“But then I thought about it…I’m sorry I didn’t know you better, Grace.  I wish I had.  There’s a lot I don’t know about you and never will.  But I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want your legacy to be one of misery.”

The angel figuring sparkled in the late afternoon sunlight.  It looked absolutely beautiful, capturing the sun’s rays and reflecting them in a prism of rainbows. 

“I’m going to live for us both,” Rory vowed.  “I won’t let fear paralyse me anymore.  I won’t be the loudest one in the room just because I’m afraid I’ll blend into the wallpaper.  I’ll try my best not to be so insecure.  So what if I have to buy jeans in a bigger size or fail a class?  At least I’m still here. 
I’m still here
,” Rory reiterated, her voice cracking with emotion. 

“I’ll live for us both, Grace.  It’s still not fair to you in any way, but it’s the best I can do.”

* * * * *

“I miss you too,” Rory said into the phone as Sheck looked at her impatiently. 

When he saw her looking back at him, he made a big show of checking his watch, an import from Mexico similar to what had been brought back for Justin.  There was no question about it:  he had no interest whatsoever in listening to Rory say sweet things to her boyfriend over the phone in the middle of their jam session.

“I’d better go,” she advised.  “Sheck’s trying to shoot daggers into my skull with his eyes.”

“That sounds, uh…fun?” Carson joked.  “I should be going too.  I have a bunch of reading to do before I drive back to Laketown in the morning.”

Rory scrunched up her nose.  “You’re doing readings already?   I thought your classes don’t even start until next week!”

“They don’t, but I want to get a head start.”

“You’re almost as nerdy as my sister,” Rory told him, but she didn’t mean it in a bad way. 
She and Rebecca were back to being inseparable in between their summer jobs, Rebecca’s voracious reading habits and Rory’s band practice.  They had even reinstated their Friday night movie marathons, complete with fort-building.  That one simple little thing meant the world to Rory.

“See you tomorrow!  Love you!”

Rory’s beamed.  Carson had started saying ‘I love you’ instead of ‘goodbye’ exactly nine days ago.  Hearing those words coming out of his mouth absolutely lit her world on fire. 

“I love you too!” she smiled into the phone before hanging up. 

Sheck cleared his throat nosily and made a face at Rory.  “Are you going to do that in the middle of our set when we’re playing Times Square on New Year’s?” he demanded, guitar in hand. 

“You dream big,” Rory smirked.  “My delusiona
l little band mate.”

“Shut up and play,” he retorted.

Rory wasn’t great on the keyboard but she was getting better.  It seemed she had a talent for playing by ear which was good considering she could barely read sheet music.  She’d dropped out of piano lessons at age eight after refusing to practice. 

Sheck also insisted she had a good voice and was adamant that she should be the band’s lead singer. 
At first she’d thought he wanted her to take center stage because he had no interest in being in the limelight himself.  But after a few jam sessions Rory had come to realize that she actually did sound pretty damn good.

They started playing the new song Rory had come up with from the top, but she immediately stopped him.  “No, no, no,
no
!” she exploded, throwing her hands up in frustration.  “You came in too soon
again
!  You have to wait for me to finish my part before you start!”

Undisturbed by her
outburst, Sheck merely scrunched up his face in exaggerated exasperation.  “Yes ma’am.” 

“Sorry,” she grinned, taking a deep, calming breath. 

“No worries,” Sheck replied in his usual laid back way, shooting Rory a lopsided smile.  “I’m used to your hissy fits by now, Drama Queen.”

“I’m not a drama queen!” Rory insisted like she always did.  “
I’m just passionate.”

COMING SOON

Ascent by Delaina Lake

When Rory and her best friend Sheck decided to start a band, it was just supposed to be a summer hobby.  But now, a year later, their music is taking them places.

She’s always dreamed of being famous.  But she quickly learns that with fame come expectations that leave a bad taste in her mouth and temptations that are hard to resist.

To make matters worse, Rory’s high school sweetheart is jealous of her glamorous new life – and all the time she’s been spending in the studio with men who aren’t him.  Her reassurances do little to satisfy him and bit by bit, she can feel their relationship coming apart at the seams.