Cash (The Henchmen MC Book 2) (29 page)

“When I close my eyes, some nights, I still see it clear as I did then. You were too young to be that broken. Sixteen with scars a grown woman would never be able to walk around wearing. And not just all these ones,” I said, running my hand down the tattoos on her arms, tattoos she got to cover up what was underneath. “I mean the ones you wear on the inside. I didn't know you. You couldn't even speak to me your face was so swollen, but I knew you. I understood. Our souls spoke in the same language- the language only women can fully understand, babe. And the second I picked you up off that street, I knew I would give anything to see you able to carry your own weight again one day, to see you smile or laugh, to see you start to heal.”

“I tried, Lo,” she said, her voice a small, desperate whisper.

My hand went to hers, grabbing it hard and not letting go. “No. You didn't
try
. You succeeded. It took a long time, years, but you healed from the outside in. But because I spoke your language, babe, I knew that there were some scars, the ones marked deep down on your soul, that might never heal. I understood that. I never expected you to live one day like all of that never happened to you. It would be hypocritical of me to expect that of you when I didn't expect it of myself.”

“Lo...” Janie broke in, her tone clear: I didn't need to talk about it if I didn't want to.

But I wanted to. I was done hiding. Maybe if I stopped hiding, she could too. “I was wrong to hide it. I was wrong to think that what happened
to
me would define the way others would see me. It wasn't my fault that I married someone who wasn't who I thought he was. It wasn't my fault he beat me, that he pushed himself on me. It wasn't even my fault that I stayed. I was young. Older than you were, babe, but way too young to deal with that. I didn't see a way out. But when I finally did, I took it.”

Her hand squeezed mine. “Lo, I know about Damian...”

My body jolted before I forced it to relax. “Cash told...”

Her head shook immediately. “I snooped, Lo. I know I shouldn't have, but I could never sleep. There were only so many books I could read, so many articles I could browse. I looked into all of you at the beginning. I knew you were married. I knew you left him. I didn't know he beat you.” Her lip trembled slightly before she forced it to relax. “But you're right- it didn't change the way I thought about you. It doesn't define you. You're you. You're the baddest bitch I've ever met and you taught me so much about how to be strong, how to overcome, even though I didn't know there was something like that for you to overcome, I think I felt it. I felt it in my gut.”

“Wolf is hunting Lex, isn't he?” I asked, knowing my answer, but wanting the confirmation.

“Yes,” she said, nodding the slightest bit.

I paused for a second, taking a breath. “I know it's not right of me, but I really hope he finds him before Reign, Cash, and Repo catch up.”

Janie exhaled a sharp breath. “Me too.”

I nodded, moving to lie down next to her, on my stomach but propped up on my arms. “Then let's just sit here and be not-right together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, snuggling back down on the bed.

A while later, listening to nothing but each other's breathing and the wind outside, I turned my face to watch her profile. “One night,” I started and her head cocked slightly to look at me, “Cash came in while I was sleeping and picked up one of my books...”

“Oh, no...” Janie groaned, knowing of my penchant for romance novels, something she teased me mercilessly about because she buried her nose in classics.

“Then he started reading one of the sex scenes. Out loud.”

Then Janie did something I hadn't seen her do in way too long, she threw her head back and laughed. “Were you mortified?”

“Words can't even describe.”

“Did he tease you about it?”

I felt my smile grow soft and, judging by the way her eyes did the same thing, she noticed. “No. He tried to force me to relax, not be embarrassed. Then, well, stuff happened.”

Her smile turned a little devilish, “Stuff, huh?” she asked with an eyebrow wiggle. “Is he as good as the word on the street?”

“God, babe... so much
better.
”

She laughed a little, trying to sober her face and failing. “It's good his STD check came back clean last month then.”

It was my turn to burst out laughing and it felt good. It felt especially good to be sharing it with her. “We should probably stop monitoring him so closely from now on.”

“Hey, if he's got nothing to hide then he shouldn't...”

“I think I love him, Janie,” I broke in, letting the words trip out before I could force them back. When she didn't immediately respond, I gushed on, “I know it's fast. It's... too fast. It doesn't make sense and...”

That was when Janie's head shook and her eyes went as wise as her words. “Lo, when has love
ever
made any kind of sense?”

I felt my head nod and the silence lapsed again. “I think he loves me too,” I admitted, my voice a little hopeful.

“He fucking better,” was her immediate response, making me smile. “He doesn't see what a prize he's got with you, he's an idiot. I mean... he
is
and idiot...”

“Hey,” I broke in, trying for offended, but I was smiling too much.

“I'm kidding. He's good people, Lo. You know I'd tell you otherwise if I didn't think he was.”

And, boy would she ever. Keeping her opinions to herself was never a problem she suffered from.

“Janie... I know he's got a wicked reputation of being a vicious son of a bitch,” I started, keeping my eyes on her, looking for a reaction, “but I think Wolf is a good man too.”

I wasn't imagining it when her face went a little soft again.

And I felt myself hoping that, one day, she would tell me their story. Because I was sure it was a doozy.

Eventually, me tired from pain, her tired from whatever battle she was struggling with inside, we both slept.

I woke up to no call from Cash.

We had a whole day.

I went to sleep with no call from Cash.

I woke up again and my phone was ringing. I flew upward, ass to heels, and dug it out of my back pocket. “Cash?” I called desperately into the receiver.

“Ouch,” was the response and it wasn't Cash. “Sugar, honey, darlin',” he drawled and despite being worried as shit about Cash, I felt my lips curving up. “You forgot about me already?”

“As if that is possible,” I answered truthfully.

“Are you flirting with me, pumpkin?” he asked and I laughed. Then he did too.

“What's up, Shooter?” I asked and Janie's head snapped up, watching me with really intent eyes.

“News. Channel five. Right now.”

“Janie, news, channel five,” I relayed and she reached for a remote and brought it up.

“... Damian Crane, a decorated war hero, was shot dead in the doorway of his car early this morning...”

I didn't hear the rest. I didn't need to. It was done. It was over. I was finally, finally free.

“Shot him in the dick first,” Shooter said casually, making me choke on my own saliva for a second.

“What?”

“Between the eyes, peaches? Too fast, too clean, too good for the fuck. Shot him in the dick, gave him about fifteen seconds to come to terms with never being able to use that particular organ ever again, then took him out.”

“You confuse me,” I admitted, shaking my head at myself.

“I got a little rage I can tap into now and again,” he shared, openly, easily, a trait I truly admired, “but that's rare. Mostly, it's just the devilishly handsome ladies man you have come to know and love.”

I smiled. “I think it's impossible not to love you a little bit, Shoot.”

“That's what all the ladies tell me,” he answered back and I could hear the smile in his voice.

“I bet they do,” I agreed. “By the balls one day, Shooter. Can't wait to see that.”

“Never gonna happen.”

“Famous last words,” I said back immediately. “Thanks, Shooter. You got me free of him finally. I can't say how...”

“Thank Cash,” he cut in, unwilling to accept my gratitude. “He called me in. I'm just a scope and a finger. He made the call. So go find him, jump him, give it to him nice and sweet. And... try not to think of me while you do it,” he teased.

“Oh, I don't know... that might be difficult.”

“I know, sweet pea, but you're going to have to try,” he laughed and disconnected.

I took a second, letting the reality settle into me, felt it wipe away the smoky air inside like a gust of fresh wind, before I turned to Janie who was watching me and making no attempt to act like she wasn't.

“One day,” she said, her words heavy, “when I'm ready... we need to have a talk. The girly kind... with feelings and shit. There's a lot you need to know. Not just about what happened to me way back then... but about what I have done since then, behind everyone's backs. For the greater good, I think, but still. Not good stuff. Not clean.”

“Babe... nothing in our lives is clean. It's dirty and bloody and we have to fight so hard for everything we get, but it's that fight that makes it worth it in the end.”

I heard it then. Not my phone, not the call I was promised, but boots outside. I was up and on my feet just as fast as Janie, reaching for a gun I didn't have. But just as I thought that, one was flying across the bed at me and Janie was already turned toward the door, arms raised. I wasted no time getting my safety off and following her lead, legs spread, arms steady.

The door burst open and I realized Janie didn't lock it again, taking that thought and its accompanying question and burying it to be asked at a later date. My finger slipped to the trigger as three men walked inside.

“You were supposed to fucking
call!
” I snapped before I even got the gun lowered, not bothering to look at Reign or Repo, and focusing solely on Cash.

“Things got hot. We didn't have time.”

“Oh, no? The whole ride back from wherever-the-fuck you were... you couldn't call?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head, looking almost amused as he made his way across the room toward me.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I was trying to focus on the road and not die on my way back to you.”

Well then.

I guessed that was a rational reason.

“I'm still mad at you,” I grumbled, but I wasn't.

“I guess I'll have to live with that,” he smiled, pressing his front into my front, his hands sliding down my arms then wrapping around my ass before his mouth came down on mine. It wasn't a quick peck either. It was long and wet and deep and his tongue stroked mine until I was clinging to him, blissfully oblivious to the three other people in the room.

“Mind if we get this over with so I can go home and kiss my woman like that and Repo can... go and kiss his cars or whatever the fuck he does?” Reign asked, making me jump away from Cash, embarrassed it had gotten so hot and heavy in public.

Cash seemed to not be of the same mind as his head ducked down and started running his tongue down the side of my neck in a way that my legs nearly buckled.

“Get what over with?” I asked, ignoring the breathlessness in my tone.

“We found Wolf,” Reign said, looking at Janie, guessing or knowing the situation, giving her the news she needed. “He's... working through some shit,” he said, vaguely.

“Are any of us going to have to worry about an FBI raid?” I asked.

“Janie, wanna go see him?” Reign asked, his tone soft as he held an arm out to lead her outside, Repo following behind.

“That's not an answer!” I called at their retreating forms and Cash chuckled. “Come on, babe, we need to get you back. Mike is gonna be pissed he hasn't changed those dressings.”

“Stop trying to distract me,” I demanded as he led me outside and down the hill. Everyone else was nowhere in sight. “Where did they all go? Is Janie going to be alright with him? Is he off the handle? We need...”

“You need to be quiet, shut down the boss-lady shit, and let your man get you taken care of, yeah?”

I tried to remember I was mad at him. I really did. But really, all there was was relief. So I let him lead me to the car that was a sight more beat up than it was when I had last seen it, then drive me back to Hailstorm.

Later, in the bed, my chest to his, my legs on either side of his hips, our lips pressing memories into each other, our bodies melting toward each other, for the first time in what felt like forever, he slowly slipped inside me. I took him to the hilt on a quiet moan, my head tilting back for a second, silently hoping it would always feel like it did right then- perfect, right, beautiful. His hands moved up to my face, cradling it gently.

“Ride me, baby,” he urged and my hips surged immediately, drawing a husky groan from his lips. His hands went to my hips, his face buried in my neck. “Fuck yeah. I missed this.”

God, I did too. “Me too,” I whimpered, my body driving up fast, too fast, so fast that my breathing felt strangled in my chest already.