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Authors: Bonnie Bryant

BOOK: Carole
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She rushed out, leaving us with our melting sundaes and not much to say to each other. And she’s right, too. I can’t help doubting her—at least a little.

Does that make me a terrible friend?

Dear Diary:

This might have been my strangest birthday ever. This year I knew better than to ask for a horse of my own, or even to think about it. But that didn’t stop Stevie. After lessons on the day before my birthday, she presented me with her gift—an “invisible horse kit.”
It’s
a halter that she somehow
got to stay stiff, I think with some kind of varnish or something, so it has the shape it would have if a horse were wearing it. There’s a lead rope attached to it, too, also stiff and curving down from the halter. When I hold the end of the lead rope in my hand, the halter stands up beside me so that it really does, kind of, look like I’m leading an invisible horse! Everyone laughed when they saw it, even Max. Just about the only one who didn’t think it was funny was Veronica diAngelo. She just sort of sniffed when she saw us goofing around with it and said, “Well, I guess that’s the closest
some
people will ever come to having their own horse.” I don’t think she meant me, though—she was looking straight at Stevie when she said it. To quote my mother, those two get along about as well as oil and water!

Anyway, my celebration at home was nice, too, in a strange sort of way. Dad baked me a cake shaped like a barn (he said that he couldn’t quite manage a horsehead shape—that’s what Mom usually makes for me), and we ate it up in Mom’s bedroom, since she’d just come home from the hospital the day before and couldn’t really make it downstairs too well. She didn’t say much—I think singing “Happy Birthday” with Dad kind of wore her out—but she smiled more than I’ve seen her smile lately. And she seemed really interested in hearing all about the little party at Pine Hollow and seeing the invisible horse kit. I went and got it and pretended to lead my “horse” around their bedroom, which made us all laugh, especially when Dad pretended the horse had taken a bite of his cake
.

I was glad that Mom had fun. These days she seems to
spend more time sleeping—or trying to—than anything else. It’s been like that for a long time, actually. I’ve sort of stopped hoping for her to start getting better, and just try to be happy that she doesn’t seem to be getting any worse
.

It’s weird, but sometimes I even forget to think about it one way or another. It almost feels like our life has always been this way and always will be—Mom sick, spending a couple of days or a week in the hospital, and the rest of our lives going on in between
.

Dear Diary:

Why is it that time always seems to slow to a crawl when you’re waiting and worried? I’m sitting in the hallway outside the school office, waiting for Dad to get here. The ambulance took Mom this time, so he’s coming to pick me up on his way to the hospital. It shouldn’t take him long.…

It’s hard to believe that less than ten minutes ago I was sitting in class, doodling horse pictures in my notebook and not really thinking about anything except whether Delilah is too high strung to make a good broodmare, since Max mentioned he’d like to breed her someday
.

Then the teacher called my name. I looked up quickly, afraid that she’d noticed I wasn’t paying attention. Then I saw that another student had come in with a note
.

“Carole,” Ms. Wagner said, “could you gather your things, please? Your father is on the phone for you in the office.”

My heart started pounding, like it always does when this

happens. I knew what it meant—they’d taken Mom to the hospital again. That’s the only reason Dad ever calls me out of class. It’s happened twice already this year, plus I don’t know how many times last year, so you’d think I’d be used to it by now
.

But I’m not. I could barely form complete words or sentences when I spoke to Dad just now, and my heart still feels like it’s pounding twice as fast as usual
.

Last week (or was it the week before? I can’t seem to remember anything right now except my own name, and I’m not even positive about that) when Aunt Elaine came for Thanksgiving, she said one of the things she was thankful for is that we never know what’s going to happen next. I thought it was kind of a weird thing to say, though she probably just meant she still hoped Mom would get better. Right now I wish I knew what was going to happen next. Or at least I think I do
.

Actually, I don’t know what I think. After all, this kind of situation is pretty normal for us these days, so I probably shouldn’t feel this scared. But it’s one thing to know that and another to believe it
.

CAROLE HANSON’S RIDING JOURNAL:

Wow! Things around here never slow down, do they? I haven’t had a chance to write down any of the things I’ve been working on with Starlight, and now the schooling show is over already. It sure was a busy week!

As far as I can remember, it started with a phone call from
Lisa the day after the stirrup-leather-cutting incident. She’d been at Pine Hollow and overheard Max talking to Mrs. diAngelo on the phone. It was pretty clear to her, even from hearing only one side of the conversation, that Veronica’s mother wanted Max to punish Stevie for what she’d done—namely, by banning her from the schooling show.

But that wasn’t all. Lisa had also run into Veronica herself. It seemed her chin was feeling
much
better, so she was there working with Garnet. Lisa made some totally innocent comment, like “It’s great that you’re recovering so fast,” and Veronica blew up at her. I guess she thought Lisa was being sarcastic, because she started saying how
she
was the one who should be suing, and how Stevie had gone way too far this time, and stuff like that.

Lisa kept her mouth shut. Unfortunately, she also got stuck practicing with her again, and once again Veronica criticized everything she did. And the more she criticized, the worse Lisa ended up riding.

But none of that was the main reason she was calling me. The main thing was that she’d realized, all of a sudden, why Stevie couldn’t have done it. No matter how much she wanted to get back at Veronica, or how irrational she could be about some things, this simple fact remained: she never would have done something that might have ended up hurting a horse. If that stirrup had broken while Garnet was going over a jump, she could have been unbalanced and ended up with a broken leg or worse. It was so obvious when Lisa put it that way that I couldn’t believe I hadn’t seen it myself earlier.

Knowing that Stevie was innocent—instead of just sort of hoping she was—made us feel better. Apologizing to Stevie for doubting her made us feel better, too. We did that right away.

But none of that really solved the problem. As Stevie put it, “I sure look guilty, don’t I?”

Lisa, naturally, was looking at things logically. “There’s only one solution,” she said. “We have to find the real perpetrator and expose him or her to Max.”

We agreed to meet at Pine Hollow that afternoon to get started. We didn’t have much time if we wanted to clear Stevie’s name before the schooling show, which was less than a week away.

That afternoon, the first thing we did was put in some practice for the show. Lisa was having some trouble, and Stevie and I were doing our best to help her, but it didn’t seem to be doing any good. Lisa and Prancer just did worse and worse each time they went over the jumps.

“I can’t seem to get into any kind of a rhythm,” Lisa complained, sounding frustrated. “I’m either ahead or behind.”

“That’s because you’re too worried about it,” Stevie told her. “You’ve got to relax.”

That was easier said than done in Lisa’s case. “I’m really beginning to think I’m cursed,” she said, sounding as though she were only half kidding. “There’s got to be some kind of witch jinxing my jumping.”

We decided enough was enough. Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation like that is take a break. Stevie suggested that we go for a trail ride to relax, and we all agreed.

But a simple trail ride wasn’t all Stevie had up her sleeve. When Lisa went to tell Max where we were going, she filled me in. She wanted us to trick Lisa into jumping something—anything—so that she would forget about her form and Veronica’s criticisms and the schooling show and all the rest of it and just
do
it. She thought that might give Lisa her confidence back, and I agreed it was worth a try.

It worked perfectly. We waited until we were a short distance from that old stone wall at the edge of Pine Hollow’s property, near the woods. Then Stevie slipped away (she was riding third in line) and rode off as quietly as she could. When she was safely on the other side of the wall, she started shouting for help.

Lisa reacted just as we’d hoped. She whirled Prancer around and urged her into a canter, then a gallop. She aimed her straight at that wall and, without a second’s hesitation from either one of them, they sailed right over—with perfect form!

That was all it took. Once Lisa understood what we’d done—and it didn’t take her long once she’d landed on the far side of the wall and gotten a good look at Stevie’s huge grin—she realized what she’d done. And she remembered that jumping was easy. And fun. Suddenly she couldn’t wait to do it again.

Somehow, once that problem was solved, the answer to the other one came to us, too. We were sitting by the stream after Lisa’s surprise jumping lesson, talking about the way she’d psyched herself out. She’d been so worried about doing well at the schooling show that she’d let her self-doubts take over and cripple her.

Or at least that’s what Lisa and I thought. Stevie was more inclined to blame Veronica and her snotty “advice” that was really more like plain old criticism.

Lisa thought that might have had a little to do with it, though she wasn’t convinced that Veronica had really plotted it out as carefully as Stevie made it sound. “I don’t know what Veronica thinks she has to fear from me. If she wanted to psych someone out, I’m sure she’d go after one of you.”

That was pretty much all it took. Suddenly the answer clicked for all of us. Veronica had done it! She’d cut her own stirrup leather, knowing that everyone would think Stevie had done it because of all the things she’d said about wanting to beat Veronica at the show. Plus, by making herself look like an innocent victim, she’d probably hoped the judges would give her higher marks out of pity.

It was Lisa who remembered the clue that cinched it. Veronica had been wearing an old pair of breeches when she fell—the pair that had been ruined in the incident. “She would never, ever have appeared in anything but her best in front of the judges that day,” Lisa pointed out. “Not unless she had a good reason—like she knew they’d get ripped.”

So we had the answers we needed. All we had to do was figure out how to prove it to Max. Once again, Lisa came through. She remembered that Veronica had dropped something in the locker room the day of the incident and kicked it out of sight under the lockers before Lisa could see what it was. She figured out that it had to be the knife she’d used to cut the stirrup leather. And by confronting her in a locker room full of riders and subtly threatening to spill the secret,
she not only convinced Veronica to confess to Max, but also to withdraw from the schooling show in front of everyone! It was a pretty amazing scene.

The schooling show was amazing, too. Starlight and I took top honors in Junior Equitation Over Fences. He stayed slow and in control as I’d hoped, and we soared over every fence on the course with no trouble at all. My friends did really well, too. Lisa still dropped her hands too early once or twice and looked down instead of up a few times, but I could tell her confidence was up all the way around. Even better, it was obvious that Prancer really enjoyed jumping, and we all think that with a little more work she’ll be really good at it. I’ve already got some ideas to suggest to Lisa for their training.

Speaking of training, I’m starting to wonder again if that’s the career for me. It’s so satisfying to see a wonderful horse like Starlight or Prancer or Belle improve and learn. It’s even more satisfying to know that you had something to do with that improvement.

I want to think about that some more. Maybe I can find some extra time to focus on it during spring break. I know it’s still almost a month away, but I’m already looking forward to spending the whole week at Pine Hollow. After the schooling show—after I’ve seen his strengths and weaknesses, and mine, too—I’ve got a lot better idea of where to go next with Starlight.

So the break will be a great time to work with him more intensively. And, I might add, a good time to write
a lot
more about that training in this journal, instead of all the other stuff that keeps sneaking in.

FROM
:
        
Steviethegreat
TO
:
        
HorseGal
TO
:
        
LAtwood
SUBJECT
:
        
URGENT!
MESSAGE
:
        
 

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