Careful What You Kiss For (13 page)

“You weren’t expecting us? Thought you were psychic.”

“Tensley,” Kate said under her breath. Her hand closed on Tensley’s arm, radiating a warning. “Don’t piss her off.”

Tensley steeled herself to be polite. “We need your help.”

“I see.” The woman drew a breath and walked toward a small desk. “I am, unfortunately, booked today.” She leafed through the pages of a scheduling book. “My appointment will be here at any time. I do not know what has detained her — but yes, at any moment, she will arrive.” More ruffling of the pages, backward this time. She crooked an eyebrow. “Perhaps I could fit you in next week. Or the week after.”

Tensley and Kate didn’t move.

Madame Claire walked toward the back of the shop, leopard heels clicking on the hardwood. She hesitated and then gave a dismissive flick of her fingers. “You will take your leave now.”

“No.”

The psychic turned.

Kate took a step forward. “I asked you to help my friend but instead, you turned her life upside down.” Her voice shook. “You need to put things back the way they were.”

“I do not understand this … ,” Madame Claire’s hand lifted as though she were a stage actress burdened with an unappreciative audience, “ … upside down.”

Tensley surged forward. She’d never had an abundance of patience, but today it was nonexistent. “Cut the crap. You know exactly what we’re talking about.”

Madame Claire’s gaze could have neatly sliced her in two. “You were given a rare opportunity. What you did with it was of your own choosing, not mine.”

“I didn’t know what would happen.”

“And that is where the opportunity lies, does it not?”

Tensley jerked a hand through her hair, tears frustratingly near. “I wasn’t thinking. You asked me about a mistake and I just threw something out there. I didn’t know you were serious.”

“Did I not explain?”

“I — I didn’t believe you.” Tensley turned to Kate for help. Her friend’s mouth was open, her eyes wide with alarm.

The psychic lifted one shoulder. “Perhaps you should have.” She turned again.

“Stop!” Tensley’s voice screeched upward. “You have to undo this!”

“Please,” Kate implored.

“It cannot be so.” The woman kept walking.

Fear surged through Tensley’s veins. “You made me a stripper. Do I look like a stripper? That’s because I’m not!” She shook off Kate’s restraining hand and charged toward the woman. “Get the hell back here and fix this or I — I’m going to the police!”

Madame Claire’s shoulders lifted. She spun on one heel to face Tensley, who pulled up short before reaching her. “Good luck with that, honey. At least you’ll give the cops a laugh before they lock you up for your own safety.” All pretense of an accent had disappeared. “And no matter what you’re telling yourself, you did not just ‘throw something out there.’ When you’re offered a chance like that, the answer comes straight from your heart.”

“Bullshit.”

“Think about it. How long did it take you to come up with something when I asked?”

“I — It — ”

“Exactly. That regret is always there, always with you, even if you’re not aware of it. I ask one question and out it comes.”

Tensley’s heart beat so fast, it thudded in her ears. She could barely hear, barely move. “But I’m not me anymore,” she whispered.

Kate was at her side in a flash, arm around her shoulders, hugging her hard.

Madame Claire put her hands on her hips, looking from one woman to the other. “I knew I never should have done this, not even once. My momma warned me.”

The two younger women looked at each other. Kate spoke for both of them. “What?”

Madame Claire put her hands on her hips, looking everywhere but at them. “Momma invented the technique,” she said. “The Do-over Diva, that’s what she thought she was, though God forbid she should ever do it for me, her own daughter.” She raised her hand, voice rising as she scolded the ceiling. “Not even when I married an idiot who thought all I had to do was twitch my nose and he’d never have to work again.”

“Twitch your nose?” Kate’s voice was faint.

The psychic started, as if suddenly realizing she wasn’t alone. She dropped her hand. “He thought
Bewitched
was a true-life story.” She shook her head. “He really was an idiot. But he looked good and he knew his way around the bedroom. If you know what I mean.”

Tensley didn’t want to know. At all. “Let’s go back to how you’re going to undo this.”

“Mamma taught me a few things before she died, but not much.” She made a sound of disgust. “She said it would be too dangerous, that I was nothing but an Esmeralda.”

At the blank stares of Tensley and Kate, the psychic followed with, “Never mind. A
Bewitched
thing. And so untrue. I am
not
accident-prone.”

“Gre-a-ea-t,” Tensley breathed.

Madame Claire directed herself to Kate. “I never would have tried the do-over, but when you came in, I felt so sorry for you, I took a chance. And it worked, except for that, you know, remembering the way it used to be … thing.”

Kate’s hold on Tensley tightened. “You could have mentioned you didn’t know everything.”

“So you’re complaining now? Things turned out pretty good for you.”

“True.” Kate screwed up her face, as if she had to think about it. “Pretty good.”

Tensley folded her fingers into a white-knuckled plea. “Please tell us that your momma at least taught you how to undo this.”

The psychic hesitated. “Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?” Her voice abandoned her.

“I know that it can be done, but there’s sort of a catch.”

Nothing, not any kind of a catch, could be worse than what she was going through now. “Just tell us what it is.”

“There’s a lesson that has to be learned before any reverse spell will — you know — take.”

Tensley and Kate looked at each other, baffled. “A lesson?” they asked in unison.

“I saw my momma tell that to a client who was begging to have things undone. She did the reverse spell … three hundred sixty-four, I think it was.” Madame Claire tapped her chin with a bright red fingernail. “Part A … or maybe B.”

“You don’t even know which spell it is?” Kate sounded horrified.

“I can figure it out. I have them all on my iPhone. That’s not the hard part.”

“Of course it isn’t.” Tensley was pretty sure she might pass out, at any minute. Her head felt so light, her arms and legs had to be acting like a giant balloon weight, holding it down.

Madame Claire pulled her mouth in tight. “I remember momma saying that it wouldn’t take until the woman had learned her lesson.”

“As in, never go to a psychic?”

Madame Claire was not amused. “Learned her lesson from the journey.” She looked away. “I think that was it, anyway. Or maybe it had something to do with the sum of the parts.”

“I don’t understand how you could not know this.” Kate’s voice was barely audible.

“I was twelve years old. And not supposed to be watching. Momma never wanted me to go into the family business.”

“But you didn’t listen,” Tensley blurted.

The psychic didn’t seem to hear her. “I was doing math homework at the time, though. I suppose that could be where the sum of the parts is coming from … .”

“Oh God.” Now Kate sounded like she might be the one to faint.

“I know it’s a lesson tied to the mistake that’s been undone.” Madame Claire bit down on her bottom lip, transferring red lipstick to her teeth. “But I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“Right.” Tensley drew a trembling hand through her hair. “Because I’ve always been so good at that.”

Kate squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “So sorry.”

“Look,” Madame Claire said, “I wasn’t kidding about the client coming in. She’ll be here any minute. You two have to leave.”

“Uh-huh. Bad for business.” Once again, Tensley’s knees were banging together, threatening to give up on keeping her upright. What exactly was she supposed to have learned from the last day and a half? How to pole dance?

“Look, I’ll do my best.” Madame Claire sounded aggrieved. “That’s all you can ask, you know.” She sucked in a breath. “Stand there for a minute and shut your eyes. Let me try something.”

“Like I’m going to trust you now.” Tensley’s voice rose to a shriek.

“Like you have a lot of choices,” the psychic snapped.

Tensley shut her eyes.

“Wait a minute,” Kate said. “What are you going to do to her?”

“The reverse spell. Then when she learns her lesson, whatever that is, things should change back.”

“
Should
,” Tensley repeated. “Nice.”

“You said you weren’t sure which spell it was.” Kate sounded panicked.

Suspicious, Tensley opened one eye.

“Three hundred sixty-four … uh, A. Has to be.”

“And what if you’re wrong? I turn into a giraffe or something?”

“Giraffes have nice long legs.” Madame Claire scanned Tensley from head to toe. “Couldn’t hurt.”

“Hey!”

“There’s not a lot of difference between A and B, so be quiet and let me do this. Shut your eyes,” the psychic ordered. “Both of them.”

Tensley did as she was told. Maybe she’d find out she’d already learned her lesson, without even knowing it, and the spell would take right away. She wasn’t half bad at pole dancing, so if that was it, she was golden.

Please let that be it. Please, please, please.
She closed her eyes as tight as she possibly could. And she held her breath.

Tensley snuck one eye open. And then the other.

Kate had turned several shades of pale. A vein jumped in her neck as she watched Tensley. “Well?” she breathed. The word barely left her mouth.

“I don’t know.” Tensley looked down and up. She didn’t feel any different and she had the same clothes on, but … .

Madame Claire nodded. “You can leave now. And you’re welcome. No extra charge.”

That would mean — what, exactly? “Did I get my life back?” Afraid to meet the psychic’s eyes, Tensley instead stared at the woman’s shoes. There was a small tear in the leopard print of one, near the toe.

The answer was sharp, impatient. “Not yet. Obviously.”

“What do you mean obviously?” Her voice shook. Tensley imagined an actual leopard leaping from the shoe to swallow Madame Claire whole.

A faint mewing sound came from Kate, causing Tensley to glance up. Kate, who looked as though she might pass out, grabbed the edge of a table.

“I mean,
ob-vi-ous-ly
,” the psychic replied, dragging out each syllable, “you haven’t yet learned your lesson. Or there would have been the flash of light, that whole business.”

That whole business. Such a callous way to describe turning someone’s life upside down and inside out. A flash of light here … a flash of light there … . “So you didn’t do it right.” Fingers of desperation crawled up her spine.

“Oh, I did it right.” Madame Claire jammed her hands on her hips. “But nothing’s going to happen until you learn whatever you need to from the mistake you made.” She shook her head. “Really. You girls need to work on your listening skills.”

Tensley was ready to deck the woman. She raised a shaky fist, stopping mid-air when Kate recovered enough to talk.

“What the hell are you doing? That’s what got you into trouble in the first place,” her friend said under her breath. She released her hold on the table and stood up straight, directing her attention to the psychic. “Once she does learn her lesson, whatever that might be,” Kate cleared her throat, “everything will go back to the way it was?”

“Of course,” Madame Claire replied, though she sounded none too sure. “That’s what she said she wanted. Now leave before my client gets here.”

“Let me get this straight.” Tensley’s voice racheted upward. “I learn my lesson and I’m just … walking down the street, and the light’s going to flash and everything’s going to go back to the way it was. I’m back in my real clothes, my apartment — ”

“You know as much about that part as I do,” the older woman broke in. “Like I said, I was twelve years old. When my mother found out, she beat my backside with a broomstick.” She raised a hand, as if anticipating an objection. “And yes, she really did have one, but it was just for show.” With a roll of her eyes, she added, “although once she got through with me, there wasn’t much left to show.”

Tensley felt her face flush as her desperation turned to white-hot anger, racing through her veins. “You don’t know how to fix what you’ve done to me and all you can talk about is some — some broomstick?”

The pyschic’s eyes narrowed. “She paid a lot of money for it. They don’t come cheap.”

“Oh. Okay. Now I see.” Even Tensley could hear the danger level rising in her voice.

“That’s enough,” Madame Claire said. “Leave.”

“We’re going,” Kate said, putting her hand on Tensley’s arm.

Tensley tried, but she couldn’t make anything come out of her mouth. Fear collided with outrage, which ran head-first into dread and smacked hope flat on the ground. The room swirled before her eyes in a mix of colors and incense trails until all she could think, over and over, was … a flash of light. That whole business.

Fingers snapped in front of her nose. Tensley jumped and the room sorted itself back into place.

“Are you listening to me?” the psychic asked. Without waiting for an answer, she went on. “There is one thing I do know. You can’t tell anyone about this. If you do, you can forget all about the reverse spell. It’ll be out the window. That fast.”

“As if anyone would believe it,” Tensley mumbled.

“Exactly.” The psychic spun on her heel and made for the door at the back of the shop. They heard her talking to herself, something about “good deeds” and “never again.”

Kate pulled on Tensley’s arm. “Let’s get out of here.”

“But I — We can’t — just leave.”

“We have to.”

The door shut behind Madame Claire right before the bells over the front entrance tinkled and a nervous-looking woman walked in, teetering on heels too high for her small frame.

A few seconds passed and Madame Claire appeared once again. “Ah,” she said, accent restored. “So you have come.”