Car Pool (17 page)

“Oh, no,” Shay gasped. “That was all my fault.”

“No, really, it was me. It must mean good luck … like when people throw their glasses into the fireplace.” Anthea was lightheaded from Shay’s

proximity. It’s a wonder I haven’t driven into an embankment some morning.

Shay said, “I feel just awful. I should replace it.”

“No, really, it was all my fault. Let’s not dwell on it. It’s not as if it were Waterford. Believe me, it’s a great deal more modest than that.” Anthea was anxious to put Shay at ease again. Suddenly she reached over and grabbed Shay’s glass from her hand, then tossed it after the one she’d lost.

“Double good luck,” she said.

Shay gaped at her. “I’m staying away from the railing,” she said, warily sidling away from Anthea.

As if she were drunk, Anthea felt the world tipping this way and that. She wasn’t sure what she would do next. She cast about for something to say, then saw flames leaping up from the grill.

She fished one of the steaks off the rocks. “This has never happened to me before. I’m glad I bought an extra.” She stood there for a moment, feeling forlorn, with the crispy steak dangling from the barbecue fork.

“I’m sure I’ll have plenty to eat,” Shay said, her voice tolerant and kind.

Anthea sighed. Those were not precisely the emotions she wanted to engender in Shay. Well, maybe the neighborhood cats would eat it. She tossed it over the railing after the glasses with a shout of “Mazeltov!” She was gratified that Shay laughed.

Anthea felt as if she spent all evening saying, “Excuse me” and “Sorry” and “I’m usually not this clumsy.” They were sitting on the deck, studying the lights. Anthea had two less plates. Her clumsiness had been infectious — it was Shay who’d let the

plate of corn on the cob tip just as Anthea leaned over to get the barbecue sauce. The cobs had rolled across the deck and into the garden, leaving them both speechless with laughter.

Nonetheless, it had not been a successful evening. She sensed that Shay was agitated, nervous, like a guest who isn’t comfortable. Her own emotions were all over the map. She couldn’t exactly say, “Shay, would you mind unbuttoning that shirt two more buttons?” or “I’ll die if you don’t let me kiss you right now.” She’d sound just like some guy.

But she wanted Shay so much that she was frightened. She had only been with four women in her life, not counting the Porsche, and they had been very similar in their approach to lovemaking. Lois had said she was boring. Anthea had no idea what Shay liked. What if she wanted the first time to be soft and slow and right now Anthea didn’t think she could do slow and soft? And why was she thinking about sex when she wasn’t even sure Shay liked her? And why was she thinking about Lois?

“I’m doing it again,” Shay said. “I’m about to fall asleep. What a terrible guest I am.”

“I guess my powers of conversation have lagged a little.”

“No, it’s not you,” Shay said. “I didn’t get much sleep the last two nights. I… .” She hesitated.

Anthea prompted her. “Why?”

“There’s this report I had to analyze. And… well, I could be unemployed very soon.” Anthea saw Shay’s jaw harden — she’d never seen her look so determined.

“Why is that?”

“I think my boss is trying to cover up a

hazardous level of xylene in one of the groundwater samples I took. I found a second version of the report I’ve been working on, only it doesn’t mention the unexpected increase in the xylene level.”

“How is it happening? The xylene, I mean.”

Shay caught her upper lip between her teeth, then sighed. “I don’t know. I can’t figure out where the xylene is coming from. It shouldn’t be in the groundwater at all, but tanks and pipes leak. This sudden jump tells me there’s a tank leak but there isn’t a tank nearby. That makes it doubly confusing. The tanks are on the other side of the refinery.”

Anthea tried to take it in. She sat up. “And your boss is trying to hide it? How can he get away with that?”

“Dumb luck. He’s insisting it’s a lab error, but I don’t think so. So he leaves it out of the report summary, but presents the data tables intact to the Water Board. Then he hopes that the Regional Water Board is so understaffed that the report is all that will get studied. It happens. It’s a crime. The reporting mode at NOC-U is to bury the public safety boards with paperwork. They get discouraged and don’t read as closely as they should — they’re only human. Meanwhile, a carcinogen gets closer to the clean water channel. And it’s not just NOC-U. It’s all toxic-producing industry in general.”

“How did you find out?”

“The idiot left his version in word processing pickup long enough for me to stumble over it. And I think I’m the only person out there who would see what was happening. They’ve vastly underrated my scientific background. To them, I’m just a well-digger and a sample taker.”

Anthea couldn’t believe it was true. She just couldn’t. “Are you a hundred percent sure the lab was right? Shouldn’t you take another sample?”

“I’d love to, but last time I checked they cost two fifty a pop. I don’t have that kind of money to throw away on a maybe. Not when I know the lab result is right.”

Anthea felt cold. She chose her words carefully. “If what you say is correct, I’ve just realized I trust you more than I do NOC-U.” She flushed with anger. “All that bullshit about safety records and how they care about the endangered hoot owl. More than anyone, I should know that they spent more on the ad production than they did on the owls, and then they only spent it to comply with a court order. Let’s be sure. Really sure. I’ll pay for the lab test.”

“But Anthea, I don’t know if I can get another sample. And we have to move fast because of the reporting deadline.”

“Let them file a false report.” She stood up and went to the railing. The sun was only an orange line beyond the Golden Gate Bridge. Shay joined her. “Have I been blind? Am I really this naive?”

Shay was silent for a moment, then she said, “Naive about motives, maybe. And I think they’ve gone to great lengths to shelter people in the Executive Building from the rest of the refinery. So you don’t wonder. Or care.”

“I care … or I thought I did. I’ve been all over that refinery. I’ve seen production up close. And somehow I keep forgetting what’s being produced. They’re necessary products. They’re things that we want to buy and make our quality of life what it is. It’s very easy to say we should all be riding horses

but unless we all ride horses no one’s going to do it.”

Shay nodded. “Conservation is good for the masses, but if the elite don’t support it nothing changes. I know that as well as anybody. It’s hard for a lay person to get mentally involved. Environmental issues are incredibly complex because it can get down into molecular analysis.” Shay absently scratched behind one ear. “If NOC-U is forced to remediate the soil in that area, there are at least seven different theories of how to go about it. The average person can’t get into that no matter how much they care.”

“You’re making me feel less selfish. I truly feel as if I’ve been sleepwalking all my life.”

“You had other things to think about,” Shay said. “You didn’t grow up with a madman who talked biology in his sleep.”

Anthea felt a wave of warmth for Shay. She was being so… supportive. Shay put her hand on Anthea’s bare arm. A flash of heat sparked from Shay’s hand, up Anthea’s arm and settled in her stomach. If there had been any ice left from Lois’s departure, this heat would have melted it.

“I’d bring your father back if I could,” Anthea murmured. “But I can’t. So I haven’t had a cigarette in three weeks. Or is it four?” Shay’s hands moved to her shoulders. Anthea touched Shay’s arms, feeling for the first time sinewy biceps and hard muscle in a woman’s body. None of her lovers had been like Shay. Anthea never would have guessed that Shay’s physique would have made her knees weak. Slender, small-breasted, short, dark. Had it been hidden racism that she had never intimately

touched nonwhite skin before? Anthea shook away the thought, unsure of how to resolve it.

She continued her exploration. Shay didn’t protest. In fact, her hands had dropped to Anthea’s waist. Anthea put one finger on Shay’s lips and the contrast of their darkness with her pale skin sent a tremor through her body.

“Your skin is beautiful,” she said. Her fingers feathered over Shay’s cheeks and nose, then her ears and neck.

“So is yours,” Shay said. Anthea heard her swallow. “Are you ever going to kiss me properly?” Anthea nodded and Shay’s mouth curved in a soft smile. “Well, I’m ready when you are.”

Anthea hadn’t expected to feel so powerful. Shay was the one without a single ounce of spare flesh on her body — all that muscle and strength. But from somewhere inside her, Anthea felt a surge of eroticism because of the differences in their bodies. She bent Shay in her arms, tipped her head back and kissed her: a kiss that was all Anthea kissing Shay and Shay’s tiny moan, her body arching up against Anthea.

Shay opened her mouth. Her hand at the back of Anthea’s neck urged Anthea to explore her. Anthea forgot to breathe for a long minute, then ended the kiss with a gasp for air.

“Oh, my,” Shay murmured. “That was… very nice.”

Anthea cleared her throat. “I thought so, too.”

Shay put her hands on Anthea’s shoulders and pushed herself easily up onto the deck railing. Anthea clutched at her. “Don’t fall.”

“I won’t,” Shay said. “I just wanted to be taller

for a minute.” She drew Anthea between her knees and looked down into Anthea’s face. Her eyes, wells of glistening darkness, focused on Anthea’s lips. Anthea heard a sigh, a half-caught breath, then she lost track of time. Sweet tension. She wanted to press her lips harder against Shay’s, devour her mouth. She clenched her fingers around the tiny waist, pulling Shay’s weight toward her. She felt passion building in her stomach with waves of fluttering excitement.

Shay arched against Anthea’s hip and Anthea turned slightly, inviting Shay’s hand to leave her shoulder and move lower. She didn’t want to end this kiss, but Shay finally raised her head. Breathlessly she slipped her fingers under the thin fabric of Anthea’s tank top. Anthea moaned — she could feel a rhythm in her hips, something like an electric bass. Pulsing and low.

Her fingers were a tangle as she struggled with the buttons of Shay’s blouse. Shay’s hand pushed against the tight confines of Anthea’s bra. Anthea pushed Shay’s open blouse away, admiring the small breasts that dimpled in the cool air.

Shay’s fingers closed on Anthea’s nipple as Anthea engulfed one breast in her mouth. Anthea savored the flesh, devouring the soft hardness with a long groan. She heard a tiny cry from Shay and came back to herself.

“I’m sorry,” she gasped.

“No … you surprised me.” Shay pushed the bra and tank top straps off Anthea’s shoulders, peeling them downward. She cupped Anthea’s breasts in her hands and said, “Please, go back to what you were doing … please.”

Anthea felt the bass in her hips surge into a grinding beat. She meant to be gentle but found herself devouring Shay’s breasts again in needing desperation. Fingers captured and teased her own aching nipples which felt heavy and engorged. A groan wrenched from her own throat.

They were down on the deck. Anthea didn’t think she had fallen there, but somehow she was on her back and Shay’s hands were everywhere — at her zipper, on her breasts, holding her head still for another long, breathless kiss. Anthea lifted her hips so Shay could pull her jeans down, then managed to unbutton Shay’s jeans. She found her hand slid easily across Shay’s smooth stomach. She surprised herself by not stopping, not teasing, her fingers sliding directly between Shay’s thighs.

Shay must have been surprised, too. She shuddered and ground her hips toward Anthea’s seeking hand. In the darkness, Shay’s body was an unfamiliar blur lost in the shadows, but this wetness was familiar. Any anxiety she had about what Shay might want faded. She knew what to do — listen, feel, respond, dance with the new rhythm of Shay’s hips arching and straining against her fingertips.

Shay shoved her jeans down, providing more room for Anthea’s hand. Anthea struggled upright to pull Shay against her, finding a better angle, the wetness sliding around her fingers. Then she paused, waiting, unsure.

Shay’s eyes were closed. She bit her lower lip, then opened her eyes. Her hips moved in tiny flutters.

Anthea moved her fingers toward the source of

the wonderful slipperiness… a slight motion that made Shay nod her head. “Yes,” she said.

Shay surrendered without protest, something she had never done before. Shay had found that her lovers — infrequent though they were — expected her to take the lead. And she did, giving before she took. She didn’t know why. But this surrender to Anthea was so much the sweeter. She managed to kick one leg free of her jeans, then she lifted her hips, saying deeper and yes without words. Saying more and harder with her arching back and a flutter of one hand.

Anthea was breathing hard. Shay could hear the short gasps tinted with a moan back in her throat.

Shay slammed both fists against the deck under her, fighting against losing what was left of her emotional distance from Anthea. How could she… . Anthea murmured something and Shay seized her shoulders, gripping them as hard as she could, while fierce contractions clenched her muscles tighter, until a brilliant quartz shimmered behind her eyelids.

She slumped to the deck, sobbing for breath. Her head felt like lead. The rest of her body felt unreal. God, she thought. Harold was right.

She realized Anthea was shaking as she withdrew her fingers. Shay pulled the damp hand to her breast with a sigh of pleasure.

Anthea whispered, “Stay the night with me.”

“You couldn’t make me leave,” Shay answered.

Anthea led her to the bedroom Shay had

glimpsed earlier. After flinging back the covers, Anthea fumbled with her clothing — tank top and bra bunched around her waist, jeans barely clinging to her hips — but Shay stopped her with a touch on the shoulder.

“No, leave them like that. You… you look so wild. Your hair… .” She filled her hands with soft strands, then buried her face in them, rubbing them like silk against her lips. Her lips found skin and she brushed Anthea’s hair out of the path of her mouth as she kissed the pliant flesh.