Captivated (37 page)

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Authors: Lauren Dane

BOOK: Captivated
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The lock turned over and Vincenz stood at the door. “My patience is exhausted.” He handed her a pile of clothes. “Put these on. There’s a meal waiting along with Julian and me.”

She stood, still, until he sighed and left her alone to change.

Julian came in just as she finished. “Why you got your mad on,
beautiful Hannah?” He took her hand and kissed her fingertips before wrapping it around his arm and steering her out of the room and toward Vincenz.

“I’m not mad. Not anymore. I deserved what was said.”

Vincenz cocked his head, looking her over. “I don’t like this Hannah. My Hannah would have told me to fuck off, like you did earlier.”

Julian sat her down between them and Vincenz handed her a glass of mulled wine. It warmed her insides, gave her something to do with her hands. “Eat too. We saved you some meat and bread. And then you’ll tell us both why you won’t even look me in the eyes.”

“How can I?” She put the wine down. “How can I when I know you must hate me and I don’t think I could take it to see it in your eyes?”

He took her chin to tip it so he could see her face. “Do you see hate in my eyes? Hate of the most precious thing in the world to me? What are you thinking? How can you say that?”

“I didn’t save her.” The tears she thought she’d run out of came back with a fury. “You needed me and I failed you. I tried. I did. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t good enough when you needed the best, and she’s dead and it’s my fault.”

He sat back, shock on his features. “I’m at a loss.”

Julian smoothed a hand over her hair, moved closer so that his entire side brushed up against hers.

“The only person at fault for my mother’s death was Ciro Fardelle. He’s dead. She made him pay for it. Don’t you think I know how hard you tried to save her? Do you think my love for you is so thin I’d blame you for something you couldn’t control? Do you believe I’d send you away, that I’d want to send you away because you weren’t able to save a woman who was already dead by the time we arrived?”

He brushed the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know anything. I …” It really only highlighted how messed up she was and she hated it.

“Stop. Stop it right now. I love you, Hannah. You fill all those empty spaces I had before you. You and Julian have become my home when I was sure I’d never have one again. What a pair we make, no? Me worried you’d both think less of me because of what Ciro had done. You worried I’d think less of you for not being superhuman. But in reality, we’re a lot alike. Footholds in both worlds, both filled with positives and negatives. Thank the gods for Julian to balance us out, eh?”

Julian snorted, hugging them both. “Balance is indeed what we bring to the others. You soothe my anger, make me understand there is more to bring me joy in my future. I worry Vincenz will have no place for us now that he’s here.”

Hannah looked back and forth between them. “Me as well.”

Vincenz groaned. “And me. I worry you two will reject this place and go back to your lives in the Federation. Live without me. It’s one of the main reasons I hesitated to say yes. You can be a doctor here, Hannah. I mean, I understand that the Imperium has brought you pain and has taken the people you love. The people Julian loved. The people I loved too. I’ll need men here I can trust in my inner circle, Julian. You’re good with people on top of being an excellent soldier. I’d be risking Ellis’s wrath for snatching you away from Phantom Corps, but I’d like you to be here. With me. Both of you.”

Hannah’s heart, which had been so heavy, lightened as she threw her arms around both of them. “Only if you’re sure. Once I accept you’re stuck with me. I’m not likely to ever be easy to live with. I may slam doors in your face and say very bad words when you annoy me.”

She blushed. “I’m going to be irrational and demanding. We’re
going to get into spats and sometimes I will be wrong. I may actually admit it when I am but don’t count on it.”

Vincenz barked a laugh. “I’ve noticed these things. And yet, where would I be without you? Hm? The Hannah shaped spot in our lives would be empty and cold instead of warm and willing?”

Vincenz kissed her forehead and tipped her chin up. This time she met his gaze and saw what she’d been afraid she was only imagining before. Acceptance and love. Shadows, yes. Pain and loss, yes. But love.

Julian laughed, kissing them both. “I’ll accept that very fine offer. Hannah, you and Vincenz are something wholly unexpected and I’d never let that go.” He looked to Vincenz. “And you? The idea of serving with you, of helping you fill the role you were born to? To work with you at your side to build the Imperium into something better and stronger? That’s something I want very much.”

“Looks like we’re stuck with you, Hannah.” Vincenz grinned and she nodded, accepting it once and for all. “I’m your lid.”

Julian paused and then dipped to kiss her bottom lip. “How’s that?”

“Arch told me his wife was his lid. I’m your lid.” She shrugged and Julian looked to Vincenz, who appeared as puzzled as he felt.

She sighed. “Silly. Every person has their fit with someone else. Every pot has a lid. I’m your lid. Both of you.”

Which made Julian pretty damned happy. “Yes. Yes, that’s it exactly.”

Someone knocked on the outer door and Julian knew their moment of peace had passed. The real world had intruded again. They had a big job to do.

Chapter 29

N
early a week later, Roman Lyons signed the last of the papers before him and then turned to Vincenz, who did the same.

“A peace has been declared between the Federated Universes and the Imperium. House Lyons and House Cuomo has now been witnessed and entered into the record.”

Hannah watched Vincenz in his fancy uniform. The crest not of Fardelle but of Cuomo, the first to hold the Imperium. They’d decided it would be better that way. To embrace symbols of a better time and eschew those of repression and war. Julian stood to his left as Ellis stood to Roman Lyons’s right.

They’d only arrived at the Waystation that morning. She’d been debriefed about the virus, with Piper at her side, holding her hand as Julian and Vincenz had gone into the final negotiations for the peace accord.

After a great deal of hand shaking, a beautiful blonde pushed her way through the crowd to approach. Carina Haws, Vincenz’s sister.

“You’re Hannah! I’m so pleased to meet you at last.” Carina pulled her into a hug. “I hear you tended to my mother at the end. I wanted you to know that comforts me a great deal. That she passed from her life with Vincenz there, and you easing her pain … well, I’m thankful for it.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.” That still weighed on her heart. Though she knew Vincenz did not blame her. Though she knew by the time they’d reached Esta it was far too late, it still hurt.

“I’m sorry you couldn’t save her either, but it was our father who bears the responsibility. Thank you, by the way, for supporting my brother in his choice to lead the Imperium.”

“Dear gods, what are you telling her about me?” Vincenz approached and put an arm around her shoulder. Julian joined on the other side, doing the same.

“Did you tell your sister we asked Hannah to marry us?” Multiple marriage was legal in the Imperium, though until then it had been used for multiple wives. Vincenz had been open about his relationship with both Hannah and Julian, which had surprised and pleased Julian deeply.

He had gone to Vincenz two evenings before after a long negotiation session and had said he wanted them all to be together officially. Vincenz had pulled out two rings, one that had belonged to his great grandfather and one that had belonged to his YaYa and had confessed he’d wanted the same.

Hannah went stiff and then she spun, looking up at both of them. “What?”

“Hannah, Vin and I have decided you should marry us. We have the papers. Funny how fast that happens when you’re the big boss.” Julian winked at Vincenz. “So what do you say? If we don’t tie you to us really quickly, you’re sure to get snatched up by one of your seeming millions of fans.”

Carina laughed, clearly delighted. Hannah’s eyes were wide, filled with excitement and a lot of happiness. Julian allowed that last bit of fear to fall away.

“All right then. But I still get to use the bath first before you two each day.” She’d healed a great deal since they’d first brought her home, but occasionally she had panic attacks. The big bathtub was her place of refuge after a hectic day and he certainly had no complaints about his woman being naked and wet when he came home to her.

“That was suspiciously easy.” Vincenz looked her over.

“I’ll tell you a secret.” Hannah leaned in toward them both. “I’m suspiciously easy where you’re involved.”

“Of course we’ll have to go through all the Fardelle and Cuomo closets.” Carina stepped in between them, linking her arm with Hannah. “My grandmother had something of a collection. It’s probably down in the far north wing. I’m sure I won’t know how to act walking around in the palace when I don’t have to hide my every emotion. Daniel and I will be coming in a few days. We can look then.”

Carina steered Hannah off toward some of the others, chattering a mile a minute. Andrei approached and shook Vincenz’s hand. “Congratulations on the agreement. For what it’s worth, you’ll do a good job running things over there. Time for change.”

“Time for lots of changes. We’re taking it slow. But there will be a truth and reconciliation committee set up. Trials for those who don’t wish to participate. We can’t arrest everyone in the ’Verses for what they’ve done. But the men and women most responsible will have to stand up before the people and atone. We’ve got committees working on enhancing civil and human rights. It’ll take years, but each step forward is a victory.”

“By the time our sons are ready to lead, we’ll have made a mark on the world for the better.” Julian meant every word. He was proud of Vincenz, proud of his mind and his heart, of his limitless energy
when it came to his people. Proud to call himself a member of the family and mean it.

He and Vin watched her as she floated around the room, shaking hands, leaning in to listen as people spoke. Her shy smile was a gift and he remembered back to the first time he’d realized there was a woman beneath all that pain. When he’d seen to the heart of her and had been captivated.

He wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Author’s Note

I mostly have this tracklist on shuffle as I work:

“Blackbird,” The Beatles

“On Your Own,” Blur

“Intimidated by Silence,” Cars & Trains

“I’m Every Woman,” Chaka Khan

“Beautiful,” Christina Aguilera

“Police on My Back,” The Clash

“The Game Has Changed,” Daft Punk

“Heroes,” David Bowie

“A Pain That I’m Used To,” Depeche Mode

“Walking In My Shoes,” Depeche Mode

“Cherry Cola,” Eagles of Death Metal

“I Only Want You,” Eagles of Death Metal

“I’d Rather Go Blind,” Etta James

“Someone to Watch Over Me,” Etta James

“Blinding,” Florence + The Machine

“My Boy Builds Coffins,” Florence + The Machine

“Crazy,” Gnarls Barkley

“If,” Janet Jackson

“Mouthwash,” Kate Nash

“Frozen,” Madonna

“Broken English,” Marianne Faithfull

“The Beautiful People,” Marilyn Manson

“The Speed of Pain,” Marilyn Manson

“Complication,” Nine Inch Nails

“Good-bye Blue Sky,” Pink Floyd

“Is This Desire?” PJ Harvey

“Rub ’Til It Bleeds,” PJ Harvey

“Paranoid Android,” Radiohead

“Furious Angels,” Rob Dougan

“Threshold,” Sex Bob-Omb

“Moan,” Trentemøller

“Maps,” Yeah Yeah Yeahs

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