Captivated (16 page)

“He’d be wildly amused that I know how to use a blaster. My mother would have appreciated the economy of it. A useful skill, she’d have said. But he had a sense of humor, dry. His world was very academic; something like a weapon would have brought him no end of fascination.”

He liked that.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” He kissed her temple, his lips against her pulse beat.

“For being here while I went through the boxes. For listening to me. For respecting my need to do this.” She took a deep breath and swiveled around, placing the stethoscope down and wrapping her legs around his waist. “People want to fix me. It’s touching. But it’s exhausting to deal with it. You don’t do that. It means a lot to me that you don’t constantly try to fix me. That you let me be.”

He hugged her then, not knowing if he could manage to keep it together when she looked at him so honestly and openly.

“No one has ever given themselves to me without expecting something in return. Not the way you have. You’re a gift, Hannah. One I am thankful for each and every day.”

She sighed happily, melting into his embrace, and they remained there together for some time, just being.

“W
hy do you call yourself Vincent Cuomo sometimes?” Hannah asked this as she sat on the floor, her body against his leg. She had been helping him untangle a string of encrypted data for the last few hours, curled up there like a cat.

They’d leave in a few hours to take the first leg of the trip toward the Imperium but as always, he was loath to move when she was near.

So he paused, sometimes still surprised by the suddenness of these types of questions. It seemed such a part of her by that point, the way she just blurted out whatever she happened to think.

But only with him and Julian. With others she was more reserved and tightly controlled. That trust and intimacy was a gift.

He hummed a pleased sigh, stroking a hand over the cool, smooth silk of her hair. “When I first arrived here after I … left, they asked me to use another name. Walking around with Fardelle as my last name given who my father is seemed a bad idea. Cuomo is a family name on my mother’s side a few generations back. Vincent instead
of Vincenz seemed to stick. Though I prefer Vincenz and only use Vincent when I’m on an op.”

She turned to rest her chin on his knee and look up into his face. “I like Vincenz. It’s very sexy.”

He smiled, bending to kiss her. “Julian says that too. I’m glad it pleases you both. It was my great-grandsire’s middle name.”

“Was it odd then? To come here when you knew no one and have to change your name? Cutting ties but not being trusted all the way? I imagine you’d feel sort of … rootless.”

She got him in a way that he supposed he’d be uncomfortable with in anyone but a very few.

“I was lonely for a long time. And then I began to make some friends in the corps.” He shrugged, and she got up, dusting herself off. But he didn’t want her to move away. He needed to touch her as much as she needed to be touched. He grabbed her hand and tugged her into his lap where she straddled him, sliding her arms around his shoulders and hugging him tight.

“Did you know Julian all this time? Was it slow for you, or did you know immediately?”

He laughed, leaning in to nip her bottom lip and trying to ignore the way she wriggled on his lap. “I’ve known Julian many years. We weren’t especially close until the last months when he and Marame would come out here for work. I think I was as surprised by what developed between us as he was. After she had been killed, he …” Vincenz paused, not wanting to reveal more than Julian himself would feel comfortable with. But she was theirs now and she needed to know.

“He lost his way.” Hannah looked at him with those wide eyes, understanding. “She was part of him. And she was gone and he had nothing to fill the spot she’d taken up in his heart. Nothing but anger.”

“Yes. Yes I think that’s true.”

She put her palm over his heart. “Until you helped him fill it with something else.”

He smiled. “I don’t know if I’d say it like that, but I do hope I’ve given him some comfort in a bad time in his life. She was—Marame, I mean—the kind of person everyone liked. Smart, outgoing. Always laughing and joking. She was the light to his broody sort of dark. She died doing her job, which means something. To him and to me, to all of us.”

Marame had balanced Julian. Her personality and the way they’d worked together had kept him from veering too far into the darkness. But then she was gone and Julian had no one left to stop that. No balance to keep him from tipping into all that rage and restless frustration.

And Hannah saw that. Knew it when most didn’t get Julian’s change at all.

“I’m sorry you both lost her.”

He hugged her, content to simply be with her that way.

“But I’m not sorry you found me.”

He tightened his hold, burying his face in her hair. “You’re the best thing I’ve ever found.”

“That was a very nice thing to hear. Thank you. For finding me and for making a place in your lives for me. I was afraid. Every day. For so long it was hard to remember there were other ways to feel. You and Julian reminded me of those other things.”

The rage at what had been done to her coursed into his system again. Never far away.

“What they did to you will not go unavenged.”

She pulled away to look at him. Her thoughts took her away somewhere for a while. And he waited as she worked it through. “I suppose sometimes I’m to say no. To say it’s over and it’s best to move on.”

She tipped her head and her hair slid forward. He resisted the urge to brush it back. He hated that she ever found the need for those tic behaviors. But he respected that for her at times they were necessary.

“I want to hurt the people who did this to me. I want the people who make me tremble like a scared animal sometimes for no reason to be punished. I want to punish them for taking my parents. For stealing so much of my life.” Her words blurred together as she sped her pace. Just to get it out, he figured.

There was still anger. But she
articulated
it now, as opposed to the rocking and shivering she’d done before. Pesch had said it was a good sign. But Vincenz still wanted to put a bullet into the head of every single person who’d harmed her.

“Beautiful Hannah, it doesn’t make you a bad person to want to see the people who did this to you given their due.”

Noise in the entry and a quick look toward the monitors told Vincenz Julian had returned.

“Is it time to go now?”

Vincenz stood and put her on her feet. “Soon.”

Julian came into the room and grinned at them. He tossed a packet to Vincenz. “Documents all taken care of. Our berth is ready.”

His expression softened when he turned his attention to Hannah. “Hello, my lovely.” He pulled her into a hug and kissed her soundly.

“You taste of outside.”

“Do I taste of how much I missed you and Vincenz today?”

She smiled, blushing. “Perhaps.”

“I have a little something for you.”

She barely refrained from clapping her hands and Vincenz leaned around her to kiss Julian. It was meant to be a quick, affectionate peck, but Julian stepped closer, pulling her between them, wedging Hannah between their bodies as Julian did what he did best.

Julian allowed himself to sink into the moment. Vincenz rushed
through his senses. So sure in himself, Vincenz slid into a kiss the way he did everything else. With utter surety and total attention.

A nip of impatient teeth against kiss-swollen lips. A teasing taste and a promise of more.

“Yes, I think you taste exactly like you missed us today.” Vincenz stole one more kiss before moving back.

Julian held them both to him. Getting used to something he shouldn’t. It was absurd to think this could work given the crazy situation all around them. But there seemed to be nothing else he could do.

Hannah rested her head on Julian’s chest. “Sometimes you two are so beautiful I wonder if I’m still in the lab. That maybe I’ve finally broken and this is all a lovely dream.”

Julian swallowed around a knot of emotion lodged in his throat. He was a hard man. He’d seen a lot in his time. Very little had the ability to move him deeply. But the sum total of that stood right there against him. Hannah and her wild, brutal honesty, the well of strength she had no idea she possessed. So ridiculously intelligent even Vincenz had trouble keeping up at times.

He looked down into the face he’d give his very life for. Not just strong, not just intelligent, but beautiful. Lush. Her curves had filled in as she’d been with them. As each man had plied her appetite with treats as well as all the things she’d need to get better.

What could he say that could do justice to what she did to him? He bent his head to her mouth, brushing his lips to hers. She sighed into his kiss, giving herself to him.

“Don’t you want your present?” he murmured against her mouth before pulling away.

“It’s a terrible flaw. I’m avaricious.”

She said it solemnly, but he saw the humor in her eyes.

He drew the long, slender silken pouch from his inside pocket and
put it in her palm. Her eyes were wide with delight, a smile on her face; the flush on her cheeks was just exactly what he was going for. The way she reacted to his gifts did something to him. Eased some long deep knot in his chest.

He and Vincenz watched as she drew the deep blue lacquer hair sticks from their sheath. “Oh!” She looked up from the sticks and into his face. “They’re beautiful. I think I’ll wear them today.” She tiptoed up to kiss him swiftly. “Thank you!”

He watched her disappear around the corner before turning back to Vincenz.

“I love it when you give her presents.” Vincenz kissed him again. “Makes me happy to see your reaction as much as hers.”

He shrugged and changed the subject. “We’re booked on a standard transport to Asphodel where we’ll pick up our private craft. I’ve gone over the cover with her; she’s got a solid grasp on it. Certainly enough to get her out of most kinds of trouble.”

“Do you think we’re doing the right thing? Taking her with us?” Vincenz had worried, Julian knew. He did as well.

“What are our other choices, baby?” He cupped Vincenz’s cheek. “Can you leave her? Even in Ravena where it’s so much safer? Can you walk away and know she’s back there without the people who understand her most? Who will hold her when she has the dreams? Who will know to leave her be when she lets her hair fall around her face? Hm?”

He’d developed a terrible selfishness when it came to her. But in all honesty he believed they were the best things for her.

And she them.

Vincenz nodded. “I know. I want her where I can touch her. And it’s not a lie that she’ll be helpful on his op.”

“She needs to be useful. You know that. Hells, I feel it too. They took everything from her.”

She came back, her hair held up with the pretty ornamental sticks. His heart stopped at her loveliness. And then wondered just what her life would have held for her without the horrible direction it had taken her in the year prior.

“They’re very pretty. Thank you.” She danced through the room to a song only she could hear. Vincenz put an arm around his waist and they watched her move.

“Are you ready to go?” Julian asked as she twirled to him and he caught her, laughing.

“If you’re both still ready to have me.”

“Where else in all the universes would you belong?” Vincenz asked and she paused, cocking her head at him.

“Nowhere.” Her voice was serious.

“All right then. That’s settled.” Julian stole a kiss from each one of them before marshaling everyone to get them out the door and to the portal.

T
he Portal city was loud. The air scented with the spice of the food carts, the acidic bite of the fuel used in the transports, the mélange of people from all over the Known Universes.

The hum of it lived in her belly, soothing her jangled nerves. Vincenz walked behind, Julian in front, the two of them keeping her from being jostled by the thick midday crowds.

Vincenz kept a hand at the small of her back. A lifeline.

They hadn’t asked her over and over if she was okay. Which was nice or she may have screamed.

Vincenz kept an eye on her, Julian knew. But he wanted to kick himself for not getting them on a transport at a less busy time of day.

It wasn’t that she had lost it. No, it was the way she so ruthlessly held herself together as they made their way through the lanes leading to the transports. The tension radiated from her body, but she continued to move, never betraying her anxiety to anyone but those who’d know her well.

“Almost there. It’s a pretty day, isn’t it?” Vincenz had moved from his place behind her to tuck her against his body. His gaze flicked to Julian, who nodded, readjusting his pace so that he came to her other side, his arm around her waist. They squeezed in a little more and the fine tremor in her muscles eased back a little.

She nodded, looking up at the sky.

“A picnic, I think,” he said to cut the tension a little. “When we return, we need to take a blanket and a big feast up to the mountains. I know of a lake, crystal clear, surrounded by trees. Hot springs feed into little pools at the northernmost edge. You can swim there even at the height of the cold season.”

The tension lines around her mouth eased. “Really? I do so love to swim. I’ve never gone in the cold season before. Aside from pools of course.”

Vincenz pressed a kiss to her temple. “I had no idea you were a swimmer.”

The joy on her features underlined how much Julian needed to make it happen. She certainly loved the bathing tub at home. He began to look forward to seeing her frolic through the water.

“It’s a good way to keep in shape.” She shrugged, but Julian knew it was far more than that to her.

“We need to go up the steps here. I’ll keep in front.” Julian moved to shield her.

The ticket taker looked him up and down with a smile. Hannah looked the ticket taker up and down right back. At least she didn’t feel like throwing up from all the chaos around her. This woman had some cheek to flirt with Julian with Hannah right there.