Can't Let You Go: A Wheeler Brothers Novel (3 page)

Chad.
What a dumbass name. It matches his dumbass haircut. He looks like one of those guys on the nightly news. Jen said he's in her class, which means he's a senior, so probably 22, same as me, and yet he looks like a 50-year-old with that hair and those old-man khaki pants.

Why would Jen go out with that guy? I know she's attracted to me, so how could she be attracted to
him
? We're complete opposites. Maybe that's why she likes him. Maybe she wants someone different. Someone who doesn't remind her of me.

I do that with girls. I go out with girls who are nothing like Jen, hoping it'll make me not think about her. But I still do. Jen is constantly in my head. She has been for years, despite all my efforts to stop thinking about her. And now I'll have that idiot, Chad, barging into my thoughts as I imagine him with Jen. He better not touch her. What am I saying? Of course he'll touch her. They're going out.

"Fuck," I say, taking another deep breath.

I can't do this again. Watch Jen be with some other guy. It nearly killed me the last time. But that was because she didn't just go out with the guy for dinner. He was her boyfriend. They dated for over a month until she finally broke up with him. She said it was a mutual break-up but I can't imagine any guy giving her up that easily. I sure as hell wouldn't, but I'll never have a chance to because I'll never date her.

But I love her. I love Jen so much it literally hurts to be around her. Whenever we're together, I ache to touch her. To hold her in my arms. To kiss her.

I haven't kissed her since graduation night but I've wanted to every day since. I've thought about it. Dreamed about it. Imagined how it would feel to kiss her again.

But I can't do it, for so many reasons, one of which is because I can't risk losing her as a friend. Aside from my family, she's the only person who really knows me and understands me. I trust her enough to tell her things I wouldn't tell anyone else.

When my mom died of a heart attack a few years ago, Jen was the one I talked to. She was the only one who saw me cry. She was the one who got me through that time. My brothers were there for me too, and I love them and get along with them, but when I really need someone to talk to, I go to Jen.

She's the same way with me. When she needs someone, I'm the one she comes to. Over the years, I've helped Jen get through some really tough times with her mom. I've listened to her, held her when she cried, and dropped everything to be at her side whenever she needed me.

Jen's had a shitty life. Her mom is a con artist and a semi-functioning drunk who has made Jen's life hell for as long as I've known her. When I met Jen she was only six, and her situation was bad. Her mom was always out with a guy or at a bar. Jen was left to fend for herself. She had to feed herself and get herself to school every day. She did her best, but as a kid, she needed help, so my parents stepped in and ended up practically raising her. Some weeks, she was at our house more than her own. My parents even turned the guest room into a room for Jen so she'd have a place to stay whenever she needed to.

Our senior year, Jen got accepted to colleges in Minnesota, Indiana, and here in Chicago. She picked the college in Chicago. I was sure she'd go somewhere else. I wanted her to. I wanted her to get away from her mom and go somewhere new. Get a fresh start. But she didn't, and I knew I was part of the reason for that.

So when I kissed her on graduation night, I decided it was a goodbye kiss. The first and last kiss we would ever have. I was letting her go. Not just her, but the idea of her and me ever being together. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I did it because I love her too much to let her make the wrong decision because of me. She deserves so much better than being stuck here, babysitting her mom for the rest of her life. She needs to go away, get a good job, make lots of money, buy a new car and a house, and live happily ever after. I purposely left out the husband and kids that she'll likely have because I don't want to think about that. But I'm sure someday she'll have those things too, and she'll be happy.

As for me, my life is here in Chicago and always will be. When my dad retires, my brothers and I are taking over the business. So I can't move, and honestly, I don't want to. Chicago is my home, and I like being close to my family and working for the family business, helping make it a success.

If I left here, I'd end up doing construction somewhere else and wouldn't get paid shit. I'd constantly be looking for my next job and would likely be unemployed for a good part of the year.

So staying here in Chicago is the right decision for me. Just like leaving here is the right decision for Jen. I don't want either of us making bad decisions because of each other. That would just lead to regret and resentment and eventually, the end of our relationship, and our friendship.

That's why I made the decision that would keep us from getting to that point. But keeping myself from crossing that friendship line is nearly impossible. I don't know how I've done it all these years. Every time I see her, I want to tell her how much I love her. How much I care about her. How beautiful she is, both inside and out. But I can't tell her those things. So I just continue on, trying to be her friend but wanting so much more.

My phone rings, jarring me from my thoughts. It's Jake.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"You need to get your ass over here."

I rev up my truck. "Yeah, I'm on my way. What's the problem?"

"When I got here, I found your crew out back, drinking beer and smoking weed."

"Fuck, are you serious?" I whip my truck out of the space and speed down the road.

"We have to fire them but you need to be the one to do it since it's your crew."

"Shit. I hate firing people." I've only done it once but I didn't like it. It was an older guy and, physically, he just wasn't able to do the work.

"It's part of the job, Bryce. You gotta get used to it."

I sigh. "Yeah, I know. I'll do it. Are you still over there?"

"Yeah. I'm in the house. I've got the guys out in the garage cleaning up. They know they're being fired so just hurry up and do it."

"All right. I'll be there in a few." I end the call and drop my phone in the cupholder. "Fuck," I mutter, rubbing my jaw. This is turning out to be a shitty day. First seeing Jen with that guy, and now I have to fire people. If I hadn't stopped by to bring Jen that binder, I could've avoided all this. I wouldn't know about Chad, and I would've been supervising my crew so they wouldn't need to be fired.

But I had to see her. It's been days since I saw Jen and I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how I'm going to survive if she moves away.

When I get to the house where we're doing the kitchen remodel, I pull up to the garage and park. The guys slowly walk out, shuffling their feet, their hands in their pockets. They couldn't look more guilty if they tried.

"Hey, boss," Carl says as I get out of my truck. "We were just cleaning up."

Carl's a troublemaker. He's probably the one who encouraged the other guys to smoke and drink while I was gone. And then he tries to turn on the charm, as if doing so will save their jobs. His charm might work on the ladies, but it doesn't work on me.

"So Jake said there was a party going on while I was gone." I look at the five of them but only Carl will look back at me. The rest of them look down at the ground or off to the side.

"We were just kicking back on our break." Carl gives me a smart-ass grin. "You know how it is, boss. Sometimes you just need to chill."

"You can chill when you get home. I'm not paying you to drink and smoke weed."

"So we're fired?" Cody mumbles, his eyes on his work boots as he kicks at some loose stones on the driveway.

I hate doing this. They're making it easy on me, but I still hate it.

"Sorry, but yeah," I say. "Go pack up your stuff and go."

They must've already packed up because they all walk past me to their cars.

"See ya around." Carl waves at me and laughs as he walks off. He doesn't even care he got fired.

I go inside and see Jake in the kitchen. He points to the new counters I installed and the new tile backsplash. "I'm guessing you did this."

"Yeah. Most of it. I had Cody and Tyler working on it, but they fucked it up so I just did it."

He shakes his head. "You can't do that, Bryce. If they can't do the job, they can't work for us."

"They're only 22. They're still learning."

"This shit's basic. They should know how to do this. Age is no excuse. You're the same age and you're a million times better than them. So is Austin, and he's only 21."

"It's different for us. These guys didn't grow up doing construction like we did."

"Bryce, you can't make excuses for them, or any of our workers. We're running a business here, and if one of them fucks something up, we're the ones who'll have to pay for it, not them."

"Yeah, got it." I walk over to an outlet on the wall and see the cover is missing a screw. I had Carl putting those covers on and he couldn't even put both screws in. Total incompetence. Or laziness. Or both.

My dad would never stand for that. He's a freaking drill sergeant when it comes to his work. When he was teaching us how to do construction we had to do shit over and over until we got it right. And we couldn't take shortcuts. He doesn't do a half-ass job just to save time or money, like some construction companies do. He does the job well and he does it right the first time, and he expects us, and our workers, to do the same, which is why those guys had to be fired. Jake's right. They're bad for our business.

"So where were you?" Jake asks.

I open a kitchen drawer and find the screw for the outlet cover. It was right there and the idiot couldn't even finish the job.

"I went to Jen's school and dropped off a binder she left at my apartment." I grab a screwdriver and attach the missing screw.

"Did you see her?"

"Yeah. I have her class schedule so I knew what time she'd be there."

"Had to get your Jen fix, huh?" He chuckles to himself.

"She needed the binder." I set the screwdriver down and turn to Jake. "She needed it for some group she has tonight."

He cocks his head. "You ever think she purposely leaves shit behind so she has an excuse to see you?"

"She didn't leave it there on purpose. She just forgot."

He rolls his eyes. "She does it on purpose, Bryce. Everyone knows this. Even you. So stop pretending you don't."

"If she wanted to see me so bad, then she wouldn't be going out with some other guy tonight."

"Who's she going out with? Is she getting back with Zach?"

Zach.
I tense up just hearing that asshole's name. Zach is Jen's ex-boyfriend. The guy she dated for a month.

"No. This is a new guy. Chad." I try to sound cool about it, but Jake knows I'm not. He knows I love Jen. My whole damn family does, which is why they keep pushing me to be with her. I've told them I won't date her because I don't want to risk ruining our friendship, which is part of the reason. I won't tell them the other part. If I did, they'd tell me I shouldn't be trying to make decisions for Jen. That I should date her and let
her
decide if she wants to stay here after she graduates. But I can't do it because I know what she'd decide and I can't let her ruin her life for me. If Jen stays here, her mom will keep manipulating her and taking her money. She'll never have a good life. Her mom will make sure of it.

"You're running out of time," Jake says, crossing his arms over his chest. "She graduates in May, and after that, she'll probably move out of Chicago, unless she has a reason to stay."

"I'm not talking about this." I walk over to the hallway and pick up the trash the workers left; some empty pop bottles and bags of chips. "And I'm sick of hearing about it. I already know what you think so you don't have to keep telling me. That goes for Nash and Austin too." I toss the trash in the garbage bag next to the sink.

"If we see you making a mistake, we're going to tell you."

"Yeah, well, you've already told me about a million times, so you can shut up now." I assess the half-finished kitchen. "What are we going to do about this?"

"It's too late to hire another crew. Didn't you say the homeowners are back on Monday?"

"Yeah. So it needs to be done and cleaned up by Sunday night."

"Shit, that's not much time." Jake gets his phone out. "I'll text Nash and Austin and see when they could get over here." He sends the texts, then says, "I need to go check on my own project, then I'll go home and change. I could be back here around six."

"You sure? I thought you and Ivy had plans."

"We were just going to a movie. We can go some other night. But I'm bringing her with." He smiles. "Can't go a whole night without seeing my girl."

Jake is so in love with her. For years he slept around, vowing to never be in a relationship, and then he meets Ivy and suddenly he's a new man.

"Besides," he says, "if I tell Ivy we need to get this job done asap, you know she'll want to pitch in and help."

"It'd be awesome if she could do the trim work. Ron was supposed to do it, but he was so freaking slow he didn't get around to it."

"I'm texting her now," Jake says.

Ivy's a carpenter. She worked for Jake on one of his projects, which is how they met.

He laughs. "When can I start? That's what she texted back. She's actually excited about it. Fuck, I love that girl." He texts her back. "Nash just texted me. Said he could be here at five-thirty. Callie has class tonight."

Callie is Nash's fiancé. She's good friends with Jen. So is Ivy. So in addition to my dad and brothers nagging me to date Jen, I've got Ivy and Callie doing it too. It's freaking annoying. They think they're helping but they're not. They're just making it harder.

"Did you hear from Austin?"

Jake doesn't answer, his eyes on his phone as he sends another text, probably to Ivy.

My phone rings and I see it's Austin. "Hey, what's up?"

"Got Jake's text. Sorry, but the band's practicing tonight. We're playing on Saturday so we really need to practice. But I could be there tomorrow night and Friday and a few hours this weekend."