Canary (8 page)

Jenna stood with a group, flinging her arms wildly as she talked. She introduced me to some kids I'd seen around school, an unusually tall boy and two girls who spoke alike, their sentences coming out rushed and ending with giggles.

Ali fell into conversation with them about someone who would be showing up at the party later. I tried to follow, but it was hard to pay attention when the music was so loud and people pushed past me. I sipped the beer, trying to act busy, bringing the can up and down so I wasn't just standing there silent.

My cell phone vibrated in my purse, and I dug it out. There was a message from Brett: U R NOT DANCING ON TABLES OR SMOKING OUT OF STRANGE-SHAPED TUBES, R U?

I laughed softly and texted him back: THIS PARTY IS CRAZY! IM ABOUT TO BONG BEER NUMBER 10!

The phone vibrated again. NOT FUNNY.

IM FINE. FIND SOMETHING 2 DO BESIDES STALKING UR LIL SIS.

I thought I'd be annoyed at Brett for checking up on me, but it was kind of nice to know someone had my back.

I put my phone in my purse and focused on the group. More people had joined, and someone handed me another beer. I drank it slowly, feeling a bit light-headed. I tried to get Ali's attention to let her know I was going to find the bathroom, but she was in the middle of telling a story about her brother and some family vacation they'd taken a few years ago. I slipped away, hoping she'd be in the same spot when I returned.

The path to the house was almost impossible to walk through. Two or three people stood on each stair leading to the deck, and with my unsteady feet, I didn't think it was a good idea to try to climb up them. Instead, I elbowed my way to the side of the house, where concrete blocks formed a walkway. I pushed through the bushes and low-hanging branches, following a sort of tunnel, feeling the branches grab the sides of my shirt. I broke free and stumbled onto the driveway, where I ran into the back of a guy leaning against the garage.

“Whoa, sorry.” I nearly tripped over my own feet. “You have to fight to get anywhere at this party. There sure are a lot of people here,” I said more to myself than to him.

The guy faced me, and his gaze fixed on mine. “Where else would we be tonight?”

My face heated up when I realized who it was.

Jack Blane.

“So we meet again,” he said, drawing the words out.

My stomach flipped. The one person I'd wished to see had seemingly appeared out of thin air.

Why was he on the driveway? He didn't seem like the type to hang out alone at a party. He should be surrounded by girls. Pretty girls who wore tiny swishy skirts and tight tops. Girls who painted their toenails bubble gum pink and had long glossy hair. Girls who screeched as boys chased them through the hallways trying to tickle them.

Girls who weren't like me.

Girls I had no idea how to be like.

I tried to figure out what to say. “I meant there are a lot of cars here, parked all over. The neighbors must notice what's going on.”

He laughed and touched my arm.

“I don't think most of the people here will care if the neighbors notice. Joe might, when his parents come home, but as for us”—he grinned—“we'll be long gone. You don't have to worry.”

I must have looked as if I didn't believe him because he stood right in front of me, so close I could see the small freckles across the top of his nose.

“Don't worry,” he said. “I was joking. You don't have to be so serious. I wondered when you'd show up.”

“You were looking for me?” The words came out before I could stop them. 
Way to go, Kate. Nothing like sounding calm, cool, and collected.

“Of course I was. Why do you think I mentioned the party? After all, we have some history. We spent the night together.” He raised his gaze and ran a hand through his hair.

“We did, didn't we? I wanted to see you here too,” I said quietly, unexpected courage surging in me.

“Good.” His hand found mine, and then the two of us were moving toward each other. Suddenly talking to Jack became nothing.

The memory of the first time we talked—the cold bench, his warm sweatshirt, the early morning—was erased.

The conversation we had outside the hotel wasn't important.

The feel of his arms when he had caught me from falling off the wall was brushed away from memory.

The solidness of his hand when he helped me up from the wall was forgotten.

Because nothing came close, not an inch or an ounce, to what it felt like when Jack kissed me.

We broke apart. We stood still. It didn't matter that we were separated, because it felt as if we were together. A truck screeched up next to us. Before we could say or do anything, someone laid on the horn.

“Where the hell have you been, Jack? Get inside,” a passenger yelled out the window.

Jack started to say something, but the driver honked the horn again. Jack turned and climbed into the truck, which peeled out of the driveway, kicking dust in my face.

I went back to the party, even though all I wanted to do was sit still and think about the kiss. I found Ali in the living room hanging off of Luke, a stocky, dark-haired basketball player I'd seen Jack with the other day. She was pressed up against him, and his muscular arms were wrapped tightly around her.

I wished Jack's friends hadn't shown up and stolen him away. I felt a pang of regret for a moment, but as Ali broke away and tottered toward me, I pushed the feeling aside.

“Kate, there you are,” she slurred. She stood unsteadily and wrapped her arms around me in the same way she'd been doing to Luke. “I've been trying to find you.”

“Here I am. Safe and sound.”

“Yes, yes, you're here, and my brother is over there.” She swept an arm around, and I had no idea where she meant her brother was. “It's time to go, my brother demands.” She broke away to give Luke a wobbly kiss, and the two of them started
making out.

Jenna came alongside me. “What have you been up to while Ali's been sucking face with Luke over there?”

“Just hanging out,” I said, not wanting to share with anyone what happened. “Talking with people.”

“Sure you were. You have that look on your face like you've been up to something bad.” She smirked.

My stomach dropped. She knew. I imagined her lurking behind the bushes watching us, and I wondered who else might have seen us. Did Jack and I have a whole audience?

Jenna tilted her head. “Are you okay? I'm just kidding.”

“Yeah, of course.” I exhaled slowly.

“We need to go rescue Ali. Luke is a walking STD, and what's going on over there is not good. If there's anyone to avoid at Beacon, it's Luke. I don't even want to think about how dirty and nasty he is from all the girls he's slept with.” She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the two of them.

She tapped Ali's shoulder. “It's time to say good-bye.”

Ali waved us away, not even bothering to detach from Luke.

“Your brother is going to ditch us if we don't get outside.” Jenna grabbed Ali's wrist and pulled her away. I was impressed someone as small as Jenna had enough strength to pry Ali's death grip off of Luke. “Sorry to break up the party.”

Ali allowed us to take her away, but she reached toward Luke as if begging him to grab on and keep her with him.

“I give him five minutes until he's shoving his tongue down someone else's throat,” Jenna whispered to me. “That guy is repulsive.”

The three of us made our way out the door, and a car was in fact sitting by the curb with its lights on and horn blasting. We opened the door and pushed Ali inside.

“Mom is going to shit when she sees you,” Jeff said.

Ali fell into the passenger seat, oblivious to Jeff's grumbles. She rested her chin on her chest, and by the time we turned out of the development, she was snoring softly.

I leaned against the window and pressed my head to the cool glass, watching house after house, most tucked into the dark, everyone asleep. We drove farther and farther away from the party, and I ran a finger over my lips, remembering.

www.allmytruths.com

Today's Truth:

A moment can change everything.

Smoky breath, meet sour beer.

Chapped lips, meet glossy moistness.

Exploring tongue, meet smooth teeth.

Firm hands, meet sweaty palms.

Bristly cheek, meet red-flamed blush.

Jack, meet Kate.

Kate, meet Jack.

Posted By: Your Present Self

[Saturday, September 21, 1:13 AM]

Monday morning I was in the kitchen eating breakfast when a car pulled in to the driveway. Giant arcs from the headlights cast shadows on the living room walls. I could see them from the kitchen, where I stirred soggy cereal in the bowl. Dad had left twenty minutes before, and Brett was banging around upstairs doing who knew what.

Outside, two short beeps startled me and sent a neighbor's dog into a barking fit.

I crept to the door, pulling the ratty, faded blue robe I'd had since I was eleven around me. Peeking out of the corner of our curtain, I saw a large truck in the driveway, its motor sending up steam as it struggled with the crisp October morning. The headlights made it impossible to see who sat in the driver's seat, but the truck was unmistakable.

I closed my eyes. This couldn't be happening. But there was no denying who was here; the red truck in my driveway was the very same one that had picked up Jack from the party.

“Kate,” a voice outside the door yelled.

I dropped the curtain and slid to the ground, trying to hide.

Jack was on my front porch.

I stared down in horror at the robe I always wore in the morning. The one I wore only in front of family. The one Brett made fun of. The one stained with nail polish and an unidentified breakfast item that had hardened and refused to be scratched off. It had a giant hole in the back I'd jokingly patched with a scrap of Disney princess sheet I'd outgrown. A robe I'd never let anyone else see me in.

Especially Jack.

But I didn't have time to run upstairs and grab something else. Jack was still knocking on my door and clearly wasn't leaving anytime soon.

I took a breath and turned the knob. “Hey,” I said, unable to hide my surprise. “What are you doing here?” The question sounded more accusatory than I meant it to.

Jack seemed unfazed. He smiled slowly, as if he knew I'd been hiding behind the door, as if he'd caught me doing something secret. “I thought I'd give you a ride to school.”

Like an idiot, I stared at him.

“Since we go to the same place and all.” He smiled again, as if it was that easy, as if of course he would show up and take me to school.

My heart pounded, and I thought about what it meant to have him here. I knew what was going on. This was a big deal. It was freaking amazing. Jack wasn't here because he thought I needed a ride to school. Jack was standing at my door because he liked me. I felt light-headed.

“Usually I go with Brett,” I said, stalling but not knowing why. Realizing he might not know who Brett was, I added, “Brett's my brother.”

“Let's give Brett a break. Come with me today.”

I couldn't hide a smile anymore. I wanted to jump and celebrate, but instead I said, “Sure, that would be great. Let me tell him and change. I'll be ready in five minutes.” I pushed the door all the way open, allowing him in, and turned to run upstairs, giving him a full view of my Disney-princess-clad ass.

But I didn't care.

Jack had come to pick me up. He'd kissed me the other night, and now he was waiting for me to get in the truck with him. I danced into my room, shaking my butt in the mirror to imaginary music, and threw my hands in the air.

Jack Blane liked me. It was as simple as that.

Suddenly, almost as if had you had blinked you might have missed it, I became JackandKate, a name merged like movie star couples'.

I wasn't plain Kate, new girl Kate, or Coach Franklin's daughter Kate. I was something more, something powerful and brilliant. I was Jack's Kate.

I was ecstatic. The two of us together as a couple was a monumental event to me, giant as the erupting of a volcano dormant for decades or the burning of a piece of toast and finding Jesus's image in the charred remains.

But to everyone else, our new relationship seemed simple. Ali even commented, “It was as if one day you were together—poof. You were never anything but together.”

It was simple, that coming together. Jack picked me up each morning for school, waited outside my classroom, and came over to our table with some other guys on the team and ate lunch with me. By the end of the week, we were a couple. When he asked me Friday after school in front of my house, it was easy to say yes to being his girlfriend.

I'd never really wanted to be a part of a couple
before. The idea of having a boyfriend didn't cross my mind much except for a few short-lived crushes on boys in my class who quickly proved to be either gross or
uninteresting. Mom used to ask which boys I thought were cute, but I always ignored her, embarrassed to be talking about stuff like that with her and more interestedin sports than boys.

But with Jack, it was different. I wanted to be with him. I wanted to be one of those girls who had a boyfriend, who was attached to him, who talked about nothing but him.

My life with Jack clicked. Our lives merged, one day blending into the next, all with such an easy movement that I didn't even notice the transition. It seemed there wasn't a time before there was a time with Jack.

www.allmytruths.com

Today's Truth:

Don't expect anything. It's never what you think it's going to be.

Being with Jack isn't just

his hard urgent kisses that leave me