Cake: A Love Story (11 page)

Chapter Six

Casey

I tried to keep my mind off Jake by throwing myself into the wedding preparations. It wasn’t until I was at the church that I actually saw him again. I was helping one of the junior bridesmaids put a flower crown in her hair when I looked up and there he was staring right at me.

“Oh, hey,” Jake said, “I was looking for you.”

You were looking for me? I wanted to blurt out but instead I just I smiled widely and gazed up at him in all his gorgeous glory. Jake was dressed in a black, tailored tux that fit him to perfection. Good Lord was he fine! “Wow.”

Jake smiled.

“Oh God. Did I say that out loud?”

Jake laughed. “You did.”

“Well I stand by my observation,” I smiled, then shook my head and announced, “you clean up nicely.”

Jake laughed. “I’m not really sure how to take that.”

I smiled coyly and shrugged my shoulders.

“Well…puke green is a good color on you.”

I laughed out loud but it came out more like a snort. I covered my mouth quickly and both Jake and I laughed. The pre-teen flower girl looked up at me in horror, like I’d committed some mortal sin. How could I snort in front of a guy like Jake McKallister?

“You like this, huh?” I said as I stood up and twirled in my dress. Jake nodded.

I turned to the girl, who was staring in awe at Jake. “You’re all set Kayla.”

“Oh…okay, uh…thanks,” Kayla replied without even looking at me. Still looking at Jake, Kayla started to walk out of the room. Then she stopped, gathered her courage and asked Jake, “Can I get your autograph?”

“Sure,” Jake smiled easily, “what do you want me to sign?”

“Oh, um…let me…” Kayla started looking around the room for a pen and some paper. While we were waiting Jake glanced at me. I smiled. He smiled back. A tingle shot through my body. I could not have been more attracted to Jake if I tried. Kayla eventually found something for Jake to sign. He wrote her a little note and then handed it to her. Kayla took it from him never taking her eyes off Jake.

“Thank you so much,” Kayla said. “You’re so nice. I wish I had my phone so I could take a picture but my mom made me give it to her for the wedding. My friends would be so jealous.”

“Find me at the reception tonight and we can take a picture then, okay?”

“Really? That would be so cool. Okay…thanks!” Kayla rambled as she walked out of the room. Then from down the hall we could hear her squeal, “You’re hot!”

Both Jake and I looked at each other and laughed. He shrugged like he was saying, ‘what do you want me to do about it?’

“Oh my God, Jake, you’re so hot!” I exclaimed in my best preteen voice. “Can I get your autograph?”

“I can do better than that,” Jake stated then bent down and kissed my cheek.

I gasped in mock adoration. “I’ll never wash this cheek again.”

Jake wrinkled up his nose and said, “Gross.”

I smiled at him. He was just so cute staring down at me with that twinkle in his eye and the adorable lop-sided grin on his face. He was clearly flirting with me and it was making me weak in the knees. I wanted to jump him and give him a proper kiss but I wasn’t nearly bold enough.

“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere? Like ushering?”

“I was told my help was not required.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…apparently they felt I couldn’t handle the inherent pressures of being a wedding usher,” Jake shrugged.

“Well it’s a tough job…walking people to their seats and all,” I teased.

“Right, because ushering is so much more demanding than performing in front of thousands of people every night.”

“Exactly,” I laughed. “You know Jake, have you considered that maybe Mitch and Kate don’t want you distracting their guests.”

“I wasn’t planning on breaking out in song,” Jake remarked, shrugging.

“You don’t need to sing. You’re just a walking distraction.”

“Oh really? Are you distracted by me?” Jake smirked and took a step closer to me. There was obvious suggestion in his voice. Damn he was hot.

“I meant you’re a distraction to other people. You have absolutely no affect on me at all,” I grinned.

“No?” Jake said as he stepped right up to me. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. Totally sure,” I lied.

“What about now?” Jake asked as he put his hand on my hip. He was so close to me now that I could feel the heat of his presence creeping through my body. I actually trembled. Jake didn’t seem to notice, thankfully.

I fanned myself. “Nope, nothing.” I grinned as I placed my hand on his beautifully dressed chest. He was staring down at me, our eyes locked.

“Hey guys! What’s up?”

Jake and I jumped. So focused were we on our little flirt-fest that neither one of us knew that we had company. We each took a step back. I looked over to see Sarah was standing in the doorway, trying to act casual in the face of what she’d just witnessed but I could tell she was pissed. Sarah had staked her claim on this guy months ago and I basically pulled up at the last minute and started building a house on her land. Sarah strolled in. Each of us bridesmaids wore a different color. She looked beautiful and confident in her light blue dress. Although the color I chose complimented my skin tone, I suddenly felt frumpy and very green. Sarah smiled radiantly to Jake as she stepped between us. She turned to me, away from Jake’s line of vision and flicked me the meanest ‘get lost’ look imaginable. “Um Casey…Kate is looking for you. She needs your help with the veil.”

I knew this was a lie told to make me disappear. With me at a safe distance, Sarah would be free to work her charms on Jake. And if that happened, our burgeoning flirt fest would be over. I agreed with Sarah on one point, Jake was something special…and I was not going down without a fight.

I said in my sweetest voice, “actually Sarah would you mind helping Kate with the veil? I was just about to take Jake to the church and coach him on what he needs to do for the wedding. Kate actually asked me to do that but I haven’t had a chance yet because I’ve been helping the flower girls.”

“Kate asked specifically for you, though,” Sarah said, not giving up easily.

“I’m sure she will understand. She has her mom and her sister to help. I know Kate would want Jake up to par with all the wedding plans,” I countered. Sarah flashed me the look of death. She knew what I was doing but it would make her look like a bitch if she denied me. Then I turned to Jake who seemed mesmerized by our conversation. “Are you ready?” I asked. Jake jerked his head up and nodded.

“See you later,” Jake said politely to Sarah. She smiled sweetly at him. Inside I knew she was fuming. Jake and I walked out of the room. Neither of us said a word until we were far out of hearing range.

“How close did we just come to a girl fight?” Jake whispered, “cuz, I’m not gunna lie, that would have been hot.”

I looked up to see that he was smiling.

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” I replied. “Girls fighting over you?”

“Let’s just say I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”

I rolled my eyes like I was annoyed with him but in reality; I loved his flirty little banter. It was so incredibly charming. I walked with him to the exit.

Jake stopped suddenly. “Not that way.”

“What?”

“We can’t go that way.”

“Why?”

“Fans.”

“What?”

“There are teenage girls out there…I promise you…you don’t want to go that way.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously Casey.” Jake said, looking exasperated.

I laughed.

“What’s so funny?” He asked as a smile spread across his face.

“I don’t know. It’s just funny to me.” I replied, still laughing.

“I’m glad I could amuse you.”

“Oh don’t be so dramatic. I’ll save you,” I said as I grabbed his hand and led him in another direction.

“Where are we going?”

“I know another way out.”

We came to a door that I’d used yesterday to bring in the dresses. I opened it slowly and peaked out. Jake was right. There was a group of girls, not from our wedding party, who were milling around. These were probably youths from the church that got wind of Jake’s presence and were waiting by the back exit where the bridal party would walk out under the covered awning into the church.

“Okay, on my count,” I whispered like I was a spy on some mission.

“What?” Jake laughed.

“I don’t know I just always wanted to say that. One, two…three,” I grabbed his hand, yanked him out of the building and led him behind some bushes.

“You didn’t even tell me what the count was,” Jake complained.

“Oh…sorry…it was three,” I whispered.

Jake laughed. “Yeah, I get that now.”

“Shhh!!” I gestured with my eyes towards the fans.

“What exactly are we doing?” Jake whispered.

“Getting you to the church without you getting mobbed,” I explained. “It’s okay, I’ve done this before.”

“You’ve done this before?” Jake laughed. He was enjoying the silliness of the situation.

I put my finger to my lips and we tiptoed and ducked at the appropriate moments. I made all these ridiculous gestures with my hands as if I were on some covert mission. Jake just looked at me with amusement in his eyes. At one point, he narrowly missed stepping in a pile of cat poop, which, most definitely, would have taken the fun out of our little game. We were both whisper-laughing. It was fun…like playing spy.

It took us about two minutes to get to the front of the church, I raised my arms in victory and whispered, “Tah-Dah!”

“Congratulations, you got me across a parking lot,” Jake smiled then pointed toward a group of people filing into the church. “…into an even bigger group of people. What now, Bond?”

“Now we blend,” I instructed and started walking nonchalantly toward the entrance. I looked at Jake who was smiling down at me. “Try to look uglier if you can,” I whispered, pretending to be serious. Jake nearly snorted out laughter. We casually merged with the people filing into the church. Once in the building, guests started noticing Jake. I grabbed his hand and walked him around a corner. When we were out of sight, I squealed and started running with him down a hallway. I was giggling like a little girl. Jake gamely followed me. I led him to the back room where the bridal party was supposed to gather in exactly 6 minutes time. I pushed him in and shut the door behind me. There was no one there yet.

I smiled widely at Jake. “Whew, that was close.”

Jake shook his head in amusement. “You’re crazy fun, Casey.”

At that moment I was insanely happy. Jake just seemed to get me…and all my quirky humor. I felt like I could be myself with him, snorts and all. I stood on my tippy-toes and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

Jake looked surprised. “What was that for?” He asked.

“For being a good sport,” I replied.

A wide smile spread across his face. He stared down at me for the longest time, breathing heavy from our little excursion. Finally he said, “so where were we when Sarah so rudely interrupted?”

I took a step forward until we were nearly touching. “I think we had gotten to about this point,” I revealed, placing my hand on his chest.

“Oh yeah, I remember now,” he said then leaned down like he was going to kiss me. At that very moment footsteps could be heard coming from the outside corridor. Kate and the others were coming. We looked at each other.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Oh good lord…this way.” I grabbed his hand again and led him to the back door. I opened it and instructed, “Follow the corridor to the end. You’ll come to the groom’s room.”

“Okay.” Jake acknowledged as he brushed past me and started walking away. “Maybe we can finish this later.”

“I’m counting on it,” I smiled.

Chapter Six

Jake

Every time I was with her I felt like I was on top of the world. She was just so much fun…and sexy…and beautiful. I could feel myself falling under her spell and, in the moment, I could imagine all the possibilities. I felt like I was in control and I knew exactly what I wanted. But then I would walk away from her and be plagued with self-doubt. This girl had easily broken through the barriers it had taken me so long to erect. It happened so fast and without warning. Casey was the first girl I’d ever been attracted to that made me feel something. My pounding heart was proof of that. Honestly, I didn’t think it was possible. I’d always viewed myself as a lost cause when it came to love and affection but with Casey the promise of living the normal, simple life that I’d always craved actually seemed possible.

But then reality would set in. I knew myself and I knew my limitations. It wasn’t just the scars that held me back. There were demons that lived inside me, ones that rarely surfaced in my everyday life, but they were still there, lying dormant and waiting for the right trigger. And usually that trigger was sexual intimacy. A certain touch, a simple phrase, a breathy whisper…any of those things had the potential to elicit flashbacks so realistic that I would be transported back into the nightmare of my youth. It had happened before. I never wanted it to happen again. And the only surefire way I knew of preventing a flashback was to not get too emotionally close to women…to not let my guard down around them…and to never trust anyone on an intimate level. I would rather die alone and lonely then to have to relive the horrors.

But I was young and still had needs. I liked women and I liked sex. So, over the years, I’d figured a way around the problem. If I was horny enough and kept my sexual encounters to quick, impersonal romps, I could outrun the flashbacks, so to speak. But Casey was already affecting me on an emotional level that went so much deeper than anything I’d ever experienced. I didn’t know if it was possible to just have a casual encounter with her. And, honestly, I didn’t want that anyway. I’d already had my fill of casual. I wanted more. I needed more. I couldn’t have more. No matter how perfect Casey was for me, there was never going to be a white picket fence and a beautiful wife and a team of kids running around. Not for me. There could never be a future with anyone because the minute Raymond Lane put that gun to my head he stole any chance of me ever living a normal life.

So I knew I had to cut her loose before things got too complicated. It wasn’t just for my sake but hers as well. It was unfair to pull her into my life when I knew, full well, that I couldn’t give her what she deserved. The longer I pretended that I was someone else, someone whole, the more attached we would become and the higher the chance of me destroying her life once the flashbacks destroyed mine. I had to stop being stupid and selfish. I had to stop leading her on. How could I break this off before it ever really started? What would I even say to her? Clearly she knew I liked her so, really, anything I said would be confusing. Should I make excuses? Should I lie? Should I tell her it’s for her own good? In the end, I chose the path of least resistance…I chose to just ignore her. She would think I was a total jerk but it was better that way. It was only one day. I could ignore her for one goddamn day and then I would be back in Europe and I would never think of her again.