By Any Other Name (27 page)

Dru

Dru
was living the first stages of “oh my God, I got what I wanted; what do I do now?” The more he observed the two others in the house, even in the first few days after Kara had left and Skye had stayed, the more obvious it became to him that this relationship could work even without him in the middle.

For the first time ever, he truly understood what Thom was feeling when he was insecure about his relationship with Dru. When you saw someone stepping in, even if it was someone who loved you too but completed your relationship in a different way, yes, it could freak you out. Dru was a bit of a drama queen, a princess, as Thom’s sister Laura liked to call him when teasing him about something. It wasn’t something he had thought he could help before. It was simply who he had been raised to be.

It took going to see a therapist of his own a week into their three-way relationship to clear things up for him. The therapist was a gay man himself, which was why Dru had picked him in the first place. Someone who would understand, maybe. Around the fourth session with Dr. Lewis, he began to see the problems as they were, or at least the depth of them.

“You grew up in an emotionally cold household where attention was bought by acting out, being a pest, as you said,” Dr. Lewis had said. “Why is it so surprising now to see that you can be… less than polite or even mean to people sometimes? It does get you attention.”

The next session, the big revelation was that he was afraid of abandonment to his very core. At first it had been his mother dumping him off to a series of nannies. Then Skye had been taken away from him. Then his parents had kicked him out of the house to live alone when he just needed someone to love him. Of course there was Kara too. He saw how bitter and mean he had been to her too. He had actually called her after the session with Dr. Lewis and apologized. She had said she understood, and she had forgiven him because she had known he needed to hear the words.

About two months and nearly a dozen sessions later, there he was, analyzing every single thing he did at home. He realized he was taking things for granted, and it did scare him, so much. Maybe Thom would have had enough one day? Hell, Skye was easier to deal with than needy, childish Dru.

Skye… yes. Skye was healing. Even though they usually went grocery shopping in the bigger supermarkets, Skye would go by himself to the neighborhood grocery store when they needed something like more fruit or milk. He would order takeout, do the actual calling, which had been something that freaked him out at first. Talking to strangers wasn’t his strong suit, but he tried, and the milestones to recovery were there.

They made a little progress every day. Their routines were stabilizing, Skye was in therapy and so was Dru, and Thom was considering going to talk to someone about his insecurities too. Things were going well. They even slept in the same bed now, even though it had been a leap for Skye to even try it out. He still disappeared some nights and was found in his old bed, but Dru and Thom knew he did that only when he had nightmares.

Their physical relationship wasn’t quite there yet, but nobody expected miracles. Actually, if he was being completely honest, Dru had almost fucked that up too. He had almost pushed things too far one evening. He had gotten carried away, and it had been Skye’s panicked whimper that made him back off. He had felt disgusted with himself. Even kissing and being touched was still a hurdle for Skye. What had Dru been thinking when he had tried to touch him below the belt?

Nothing. He had been thinking of nothing but himself, because he wanted to feel Skye. Hell, he wanted to taste Skye, but luckily Thom was there to act as a mediator. Thom slowed things down, even though that time he had almost been too late, just coming out of the shower. After that one evening, Dru had become a bit more cautious, feeling guilty as he did even though Skye had understood. It didn’t mean it was easy, though. It was so difficult to be so in love with not just one but two gorgeous men and try to balance the need and want he felt toward both of them.

“I don’t want to be this person anymore, Thom,” he whispered quietly one evening when Skye had fallen asleep on one side of the bed and Dru and Thom were still embracing on the other. It was about a week after the Gropegate, as Dru called that evening in his head.

“What do you mean?” Thom asked.

“I’ve realized I can be such a bitch. High maintenance doesn’t even begin to cover it. You two are so alike, so easygoing, and you have similar interests, and all I do is bitch and whine and… and take you for granted and try to use you….” He didn’t even feel embarrassed about the not-so-subtle tremor in his tone at the end, nor did he care that he sobbed a bit too.

“Babe,” Thom whispered and pulled him even closer to his chest. “We love you, you know that. Do you think we would be with you if we didn’t want you and love you, if you were too much?”

Dru couldn’t hide the trembling of his whole body, and Thom let out a surprised little sound.

“That’s what you’re afraid of? That’s what this is about, isn’t it? You think we’ll get tired of you and leave you?”

“I… well, no, but….”

“That won’t happen. I’ve loved you on some level since we were teenagers,” a sleepy voice said from behind Dru, and he felt another strong arm wrapping around himself. “I know you’re a spoiled brat, I know you can be thoughtless, but we know your heart is good. You have your issues, love. It’s not like we don’t know that,” Skye murmured into Dru’s hair and fell asleep again.

Dru let out a little giggle that was curiously mixed with a sob and felt Thom smile against his forehead, where he was pressing a kiss.

“He’s right. We’re in this together, all of us. Not like we’re going to bail out now. How about we all concentrate on doing our thing, and I’ll go into therapy too. We’ll figure this thing out. It’s not like we lack love in this relationship,” Thom pointed out.

“Love… hey, he just called me love, didn’t he?” Dru asked and smiled.

“Yes, he did. I’m glad.”

The
changes were subtle but still there. Dru began to try to find jobs that wouldn’t take so much time so that he could spend more of it with Skye. He also began to do research with Skye and Thom, trying to figure out what it was that interested Skye enough to think about doing for a living. It wasn’t that Dru and Thom thought he should do something, it was something Skye wanted himself.

One morning, after two hours of battling with some code and the annoying servers that didn’t seem to be able to stay up and running for more than ten minutes at a time, Dru decided on a new approach.

He went downstairs to get some coffee and walked out to the back deck with his mug. He found Skye reading, no surprise there, in the shadow of the wall.

“I’ve decided,” Dru said, and Skye looked up at him, blinking at the light coming from behind the blond.

“What exactly?”

“I’m going to take this one website job. It’s a tedious thing, bigger than what I normally do, but it pays really well, and after it’s done, I’m going to take a couple of months off,” Dru announced, lowering himself onto the deck chair next to Skye’s.

“Can you afford it?” Skye asked, tucking the bookmark into the right spot between the pages and placing the book on his lap.

“Yeah, I mean, I have savings and some of the money my grandpa left me in the bank. I think I could take a year off and do okay.” Dru smiled a little. “Actually, it was Grandpa who bought half of this house, more or less.”

“So take time off and then what? You work like crazy, Dru. What will you do with the extra time?” Skye stretched a little, making his shirt ride up, and Dru’s mouth watered at the hint of a treasure trail suddenly visible.

“Uh… I don’t know. I just want to… relax more.
Be there
more.” He turned his head away and swallowed a bit. “I mean, I’m at home all the time as it is, but we both know it’s me working most of the time or thinking about working or doing research. I have evenings, sure, but….”

“You’re not quite there even when you’re there?” Skye asked and turned to sit sideways, moving the book to the other end of the chair.

Dru sighed. “So you’ve noticed it too, then?” His tone was full of self-irony.

Skye leaned forward and placed a hand on Dru’s knee, right over the hole in his jeans, and stroked the scar on his skin. “This is what matters. We understand, Dru. Only do it if you decide you really want it. Not because of us, we’re not asking you to,” Skye murmured, looking at his fingers on the scar, and then he raised his eyes to meet Dru’s.

Ever so slowly, he got up and leaned over to kiss Dru gently. The kiss was almost chaste, Dru waiting for what would happen, scared of spooking the courage out of Skye. Then Skye opened his lips, licking the seam of Dru’s and asking to be let in. It was the initiative that took Dru’s breath away more than the kiss itself. He opened his lips and let Skye’s tongue in, waited for a moment before moving his own, letting it play and taste for a few seconds. That was when Skye pulled his head away.

“It’s moments like these that count, Dru,” he said huskily before he stepped away from the chairs. “I’ll go get some coffee.” The smile Dru got was a clear indication that Skye was making his point through teasing him like this. Skye knew perfectly well that Dru was suddenly hard and willing his erection away because they weren’t ready for more.

“Meanie,” he muttered after Skye, but he knew his friend-turned-partner had a point.

He ended
up taking the job, working his ass off day and sometimes night. His partners were understanding, even when he ended up sleeping during odd hours and zoning out in conversations. One evening, they were getting into bed, and Thom asked him what he had thought about a plot point in the movie they had just watched, and he couldn’t really tell them what the movie was about at all.

“Seriously, Dru? I know you want this,
we
know you want this, but is it worth it? Are you sure?” Thom had asked while Skye went to brush his teeth.

“Yes… because I want to be with you more. Maybe… I mean, don’t you have some sick days or something you could take off once I’m done with the site? Should we go away for a long weekend or something? Just… be the three of us?” Dru asked while settling down in the middle of the bed.

“Skye, what do you think?” Thom asked as the brunet came back from the bathroom.

“What?”

“A trip of some kind, when Dru gets this website done? Long weekend somewhere, wherever you two want to go. I’m game with whatever you decide.”

“I’ve never been on a holiday of any kind. Never could afford it.” Skye’s tone was almost sad, especially when he added, “Can’t afford one now, and I don’t want you to pay for everything. A trip costs a lot of money.”

“Ah-ha, but I have an idea for that!” Dru exclaimed as they all settled under the covers together like it was natural to do now. It was almost like there never had been just two people in the bed.

“Oh? Do share,” Skye said in a slightly dry tone.

“I want you to be my personal trainer,” Dru said seriously.

“You… what?” Skye blinked.

“I have been lazy, slacking, and I need to work out more. I know what I want to look like, and you obviously have the working out thing under control. So you help me train, we can even agree on a schedule and diet officially and have it in writing, and that way you can go on a vacation with us, though I’m voting for vacation first, training second.” Dru smiled widely at his men.

“That’s actually not a bad idea, you know.” Thom hummed, obviously thinking about it some more already. “If you can make him fit, maybe you could have, like… official clients later? I mean, the boy has a point, you work out and give us tips all the time. Why not do it for money?”

Skye stayed quiet for a while before saying, “Well, I think you’re right, it might just be the only skill I have.” He held his hand up when the others began to make disapproving sounds. “No, seriously. I know I don’t have many skills. Maybe we could try it? Have a trial of sorts?”