BWWM Interracial Romance 8: Mutual Attraction (4 page)

Neil’s
palms were sweaty as he stood in front of the apartment door willing himself to knock on it. He finally raised his hand, rapped on the wooden surface three quick times, and took a deep breath to steady himself.

“Doctor Edwards?” said Lydia after she’d opened the door to see him standing there. “Barbara’s not home right now. She’s at work.”

“I know,” said Neil. “It you I wanted to speak with.”

Lydia kept the door partially closed, her hands tensing on the edge of it as though she might slam it shut at any second.

“I apologize for how rude I was when I came to your office,” said Lydia. “I said some terrible things, and I’m sorry about that, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come inside right now. I’ll tell Barbara you stopped by.”

She began closing the door but Neil placed his hand on it and applied gentle pressure. It wasn’t enough that she couldn’t still close it on him if she wanted to, but it had the desired effect of making her hesitate so he could speak again.

“Please,” said Neil. “I’m not angry, and I’m not here to cause problems. I’d really just like to talk to you for a few minutes, and if you don’t like what I have to say then I’ll leave immediately.”

Barbara’s mother observed him for a moment as though trying to read his thoughts, ultimately opening the door and stepping back with a gesture for him to come inside.

“Thank you for talking to me,” said Neil after he’d taken a seat on the couch. “It’s I who should apologize to you, Mrs. Woodward. I’ve behaved terribly towards your daughter, and I wasn’t very respectful when you came to see me.”

Neil wrung his hands together nervously and licked his suddenly dry lips. He’d almost not come to see Barbara’s mother, and sitting there now, he still wasn’t sure if he’d made the right decision.

“I suppose we’ve both acted foolishly,” said Lydia from her seat opposite him. “It’s good of you to come here to say that.”

“I’m not the kind of man who ever felt regret over any of my choices,” Neil explained. “I’ve lived a rather fortunate life, and when I look back on those things I saw as hardships, I realize that they weren’t really anything so difficult compared to what many others have to deal with on a daily basis. It’s a terrible cliché to say that I was too accustomed to always having things be easy, but it would be a lie to say otherwise.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at,” said Lydia. “What does this have to do with me or my daughter?”

“Barbara is the first thing in my life that scared me,” he said. “She’s so strong and stubborn, and don’t tell her I admitted this, but I’m pretty sure she’s smarter than me.”

“I know how special my baby girl is,” said Lydia.

“I knew it from the moment I met her,” said Neil, “but I let it intimidate me instead of welcoming it. For the last few weeks, I’ve been living with my regret over losing her. I pushed her away when I should have pulled her in, and chose what I thought was the easy road of retreating and not dealing with the fact that having a baby with someone I loved would change my life.”

Lydia nodded slowly, encouraging him to continue.

“I love your daughter, Mrs. Woodward,” he said. “It’s my greatest shame that I never told her as much, but I do love her. It terrified me to think about what that meant for my future, and I was so stupidly selfish that I let the best thing in my life slip out of my hands before I even knew what I was doing.”

Barbara leaned forward and clasped her hands together, resting them on her knees. “Those are some emotional words, Neil, but I have to wonder why you’re telling me this instead of telling them to the person who needs to hear them.”

“I came to you because I don’t want to bring any more pain into Barbara’s life,” he said. “It feels like I’m still being selfish in wanting her to take me back in light of everything that’s happened, and I was hoping that you could help me figure out what to do. No one knows Barbara better than you do, and if you tell me to walk out that door and leave her alone, then that’s what I’ll do.”

“You really do care about her?” asked Lydia. “And about the little girl she’s about to bring into this world?”

Neil’s face went white, and after a moment of shock, a large smile spread across his lips.

“It’s a girl?” he asked, his voice a mixture of awe and bewilderment. “My little baby is going to be a girl?”

“You didn’t know?” asked Lydia.

Neil shook his head. “She hadn’t found out last time we talked.”

“Raising a daughter isn’t easy,” said Lydia. “I should know. Are you ready for what it means to be a daddy to a little girl that’s going to need all of your love and protection?”

“Honestly? I didn’t think I was capable of it when I first found out that Barbara was pregnant,” said Neil. “It’s all I’ve been able to think about these past few weeks though, and I realized that I was just too afraid to admit to myself how much I wanted it. I am fully ready to commit to Barbara and our daughter if it’s not too late for me to be a part of their lives. I want it more than anything.”

“You seem like a good man, Neil,” said Lydia. “I’m starting to see why my daughter is so in love with you.”

“She is?” asked Neil. “I mean, I hoped she was, but I never knew for sure.”

“What on earth is it with you kids and your inability to talk about your feelings?” said Lydia with a laugh. “Back in my day, if you loved someone, you just told them so.”

Neil chuckled as he stood up.

“I should be getting back to the hospital,” he said. “Do you think you could talk to Barbara to convince her to accept my call?”

“I will,” said Lydia.

She rose from her seat and walked over to Neil, pulling him into a rough embrace. Neil hesitated at first, but then placed his arms around her, squeezing her as he would were she his own mother.

“Be kind to yourself,” said Lydia when she pulled away again. “It’s no easy thing raising a child, and you’re going to need to go easy on yourself if you’re going to be a good daddy.”

“I’ll do my best,” said Neil.

Lydia saw him to the door, and Neil practically ran down the apartment stairs, feeling more positive about his future for the first time in longer than he could remember.

Neil
sat in his apartment wondering when he’d hear from Barbara. Lydia had told him that she’d speak with her daughter when she got home from work that night, and although it was nearly midnight, he’d hoped that he would hear from her before the end of the night. He tried to tell himself that Barbara would need time to process everything, and that she might need a few days to get over her residual anger to seriously think about having a discussion with him, but that didn’t do much to cut the nervous anxiety he felt over whether or not he might get to have her and their baby in his life again.

Draining the last of the water in his glass, Neil stood up and took the empty glass to the kitchen. The urge to go to the corner store to buy a bottle of liquor was difficult to ignore, but he hadn’t had a drink since the day he’d smashed his glass against the wall, and he didn’t plan to start up again any time soon. For too long he’d used alcohol to deal with the stress of work, and as embarrassing as it was for him to acknowledge it, the excessive drinking had become more of a crutch than anything else.

There was just so much more to think about now. The situation with Barbara had made him realize that he wanted a family, and that if it couldn’t be with her then he wanted to someday have children in a normal committed relationship, and that meant cleaning up his life. There was no room for his selfish and self-destructive behavior in any life that involved other people, and he’d decided cutting out drinking was the best way to start behaving like a responsible human being.

A knock on the door startled him, and he almost dropped the glass as he was setting it into the sink. He hadn’t heard his buzzer, so it couldn’t have been anyone from outside the building, but what would any of his neighbors be doing knocking on his door so late at night?

Neil went to the door and pulled it open, startled into a complete loss for words when he saw Barbara standing there.

“I came in behind someone else downstairs,” she said meekly. “Sorry for not calling or buzzing or anything.”

“It’s fine, really,” he replied, too confused to move out of the way to let her in. “Did your mom talk to you?”

“Um, can we talk about this inside?” asked Barbara.

“Oh my god, of course,” said Neil. “Come in.”

Barbara stepped into the apartment and stood in the entrance hall while Neil closed the door behind himself.

“Did you mean what you said when you talked to my mom?” she asked. “Do you really love me?”

“I do,” said Neil. “I’m sorry I couldn’t say it before, but I do love you. I was a fool to no—”

Barbara practically lunged forward, cutting him off with a passionate kiss that silenced any further words before they could escape from his lips.

Her lips were hungry and needy, and Neil’s body responded in kind. He pulled her into a tight embrace, one hand finding the back of her head to pull her mouth against his own while the other hand went downward, grabbing her bum and driving her hips against his pelvis. His manhood stirred and began to swell beneath his pants, his own desire to feel her naked skin driving him to a state of near madness.

Slowly they stumbled backwards, stripping away clothing piece by piece as they made their way to the bedroom in a tangle of kisses and groping exchanges. They left a trail of shirts, pants, socks, and underwear along the hallway and through the living room, ending with Barbara’s panties as she pulled them down and climbed naked onto the bed where she lay on her back waiting for her lover to join her.

Neil hesitated and stared down at her, his cock now fully erect and eager. His eyes devoured her voluptuous body, sliding from her toes to her face as though trying to memorize every inch of her skin.

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he said, kneeling on the bed and kissing her belly.

Neil’s lips moved around her swollen stomach, laying kisses around the bulge that contained their little baby girl. His mouth moved upward, exploring her breasts and teasing at her nipples while his hand slid downward, his fingers massaging her pussy and lightly dipping into her wetness. When his finger was lubricated, he zoned in on her clit, rubbing it with firm slow circles while he kissed her on the mouth.

Barbara moaned with pleasure from beneath his kisses, and she reached out to find his cock, taking hold of it and stroking it while he brought her closer and closer to an early climax. She felt extremely sensitive, and quickly began to lose control, her knees shaking as Neil brought her to a whimpering orgasm.

“I love you so much,” he said between kisses he laid along her cheek and neck. “I’m so sorry for what an ass I’ve been.”

“I love you too,” she said. “I want you to be with me and the baby. It’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.”

Barbara pushed Neil backwards until he was lying on his back, and she rolled on top of him, throwing a leg over his waist and pressing her wet pussy down against his cock. Rubbing back and forth slowly, she massaged herself with the underside of his shaft several times before tilting just a little bit more forward and catching his tip so she could slid herself down onto it.

Neil gasped and looked up at her with loving eyes, his hands finding her ample hips and holding her as she moved up and down on him.

“You feel so good,” he said. “I don’t ever want to lose you.”

“You won’t,” she replied, taking his hands and leaning forward to pin them above his head.

Holding him in place like that, she rocked back and forth on him, her breasts tangling tantalizingly close to his mouth. He bent his neck upwards, taking one nipple between his lips and sucking on it while she ground her hips against his, her clit finding the pressure she desired against the firmness of his pubic bone.

Neil grunted as she fucked him, his hips moving upwards into each of her downward strokes. She could tell by the way he moved and the noises he made that he was getting close, and she felt her own orgasm well up inside her belly.

She wasn’t ready for Neil to cum just yet, and so she lifted herself up off of him and sidled up his body, sitting lightly on his chest and angling her pussy into his mouth.

Once she release his hands from her grip, Neil wasted no time in grabbing hold of her hips again so he could lift his mouth to her wetness. His tongue probed as deep inside of her as it would go before he ran it up her pussy to find her clit. He licked and nibbled at the swollen bud, driving her to a thigh-trembling climax almost instantly.

“Oh my god,” she cried loudly, thrusting herself into his face. She ran a hand through his hair and grasped it tightly, pulling his mouth into her body. “Don’t stop. Oh yes, keep going.”

Fire and electricity surged through her insides, lancing her veins and sending her muscles into minor spasms as her skin tingled with erotic energy. The orgasm echoed and bounced through her, slowing down time to an immeasurable eternity while her body flooded with sexual endorphins that eventually left her gasping for breath when she rolled off of him.

“Get back inside me,” she whimpered, spreading her legs and beckoning Neil towards her.