Butterfly (26 page)

“She don't have to give me anything. I'm proud of my Butterfly.”

“You've never called me that before.”

“And you've never called me Mom before.”

“Oh-kay, here were go,” Auntie Pam said. “We're here to have fun, not get all sensitive and crying all over the place.”

“Girl, you know I'll cry on you in a minute.”

“I know. I'm not in a crying mood right now. I'm in a fun mood, so leave the tears at the house, why don't you?”

“I know her.” Ms. Alicia pointed to a woman standing across the room.

“Who is she?” Auntie Cynthia asked.

“I went to college with her! I hear she's this big Hollywood agent now.”

“Alicia thinks she knows everybody, Cynthia,” Auntie Pam joked.

“She's right, though. I just saw her on TMZ,” Auntie Cynthia said.

“Yeah, that's her! That's my girl.” Ms. Alicia waved. “Erin?”

The lady looked in our direction and ignored us at first.

“I told you she didn't know that chick, Cynt.”

“Shut up, Pam. I do know her.” Ms. Alicia waved her over. “It's me, Alicia Murray. I got her in the damn business.”

“Alicia Murray?” Ms. Erin clicked her high-heels over to our chairs. “Alicia Murray? Oh my God! How are you, girl?”

“I am wonderful! I see you on television all the time!”

“You do? That's fantastic! Do you still live here in Atlanta?”

“Yes, I'm married with two beautiful kids. My youngest daughter is not with me today, but here is my oldest. Her name is Shante.”

“Hi, Shante.” Ms. Erin shook my hand. “I'm Erin Philpot.”

“Hi.”

“And these are my friends, Pam, Cynthia and that is my niece, Brimone.”

Ms. Erin shook everybody's hand. She was about five feet four inches tall. Her hair was long and wavy. She was mulatto, but her black features were definitely more dominant than her white features. Her nose was round, her lips were full, but her eyes were bluish gray. She had beautiful smooth skin and a high soft voice.

She told Ms. Alicia that she was in a hurry and she had to go. She had only stopped by the shop to check on a modeling prospect that turned out to be a no-go. She said good-bye to all of us and then clicked her high-heel shoes all of the way out of the door.

“She's a little debutante, isn't she?” Auntie Pam mimicked Ms. Erin's walk.

“Shh! Here she comes again!” Auntie Cynthia said quickly.

Ms. Erin walked in front of us and snapped her fingers. “Stand up!”

We did not know who she was talking to, and she was so authoritative with her voice that all of us stood up at once, even Auntie Pam.

“Not all of you,” Ms. Erin pointed to me, “You!”

Everybody sat down but me. We were all confused. Ms. Erin walked around me in a circle, moving my body in certain directions.

“I am the proprietor of the Philpot Modeling Agency. And today might be the luckiest day of your life. Now walk!”

I looked at Ms. Alicia. “You heard her, walk!”

I walked to the door and then walked back.

“Put your hands on your hips and twist those hips from side to side.”

I put my hands on my hips and tried to twist my hips.

“Harder!”

I walked harder.

“Faster!”

I walked faster. Ms. Erin put her hands on her lips as if she was contemplating a very serious thought.

“Oh, the camera is going to love you, girlie!” Ms. Erin grabbed both of Ms. Alicia's hands. “Alicia, I have to have her!”

“Um, what does that mean exactly, Erin?”

“That means I need to get her on the next plane to Los Angeles for an audition for the next season of
America the Beautiful.”

“You're kidding, right?”

“When have you ever known me to kid about modeling?”

“Don't play with me, Erin. You know how I feel about the business. You really think she has the potential to become a model?”

“She has the looks. All that she needs is the attitude. And I have enough attitude for the both of us.”

“Now that's something you don't have to convince me of,” Auntie Pam joked.

“Be quiet, Pam,” Ms. Alicia whispered.

“So, what's it going to be, Alicia?”

“I just don't want her to be disappointed.”

“It's just an audition for the show.”

“What do you think, Butterfly?”

“I don't know what to say. I'm still in shock.”

“You better say yes, if you're interested, because Erin doesn't have all day.”

“Yes!” Bri shouted.

“Bri?” Auntie Cynthia gestured for Bri to be quiet.

“I mean, of course! I'm just in shock right now.”

“When can you get her on a plane? I need her in L.A., ASAP!”

“She has the prom tonight, and she graduates next Thursday. We can be on a plane Friday morning.”

“Friday is too late. I have to have her audition no later than Wednesday.”

“Do you have any makeup exams or anything, sweetheart?”

“No, ma'am. I'm done for the year. I'm ready to walk!”

Ms. Alicia looked back and forth at me and Ms. Erin. Ms. Erin pointed to her watch. “I'm late! I'm late!”

“I know there are no guarantees in this business, but how sure are you that she will at least have a shot at this?”

“This is her shot right here! I can guarantee that she will get an audition and the rest is up to her.”

“I'll book us a flight for tomorrow!”

“Excuse me, Mom. But I have to visit my dad tomorrow, remember?”

“But this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, hon. I'm sure your dad would not want you to miss out on it.”

“I promised him.”

“Alicia, let her visit her dad. You can fly out Monday. I'll have
my assistant arrange your flight and send you the itinerary. We'll cover your hotel, flight, well, all your accommodations.”

“You don't have to do that, Erin.”

“I know I don't. Let's just call it an investment.”

“Okay.”

“And what was the name you called her?”

“Shante?”

“No,” Ms. Erin handed me her business card, “You called her something else.”

“Butterfly?” I suggested.

“Yes, that's it! Do people call you that?”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Stop with the ‘ma'am.' You're about to enter a world where eighteen is a full-grown woman. People will be saying ‘yes, ma'am' to you.” Ms. Erin chuckled. “Butterfly? I like that. From now on, Butterfly is your name! I'm sorry, people, but I reeeeeally have to catch my plane, so have a good day all.” Ms. Erin kissed Ms. Alicia on both of her cheeks and then strutted out of the salon.

“Wow! What the hell just happened in here?” Auntie Pam asked. “One minute we're getting our toes done, the next minute this chick is on her way to L.A. for a damn modeling audition!”

“Our little Butterfly is about to fly away, that's what just happened.” Ms. Alicia clapped her hands.

“How do you feel, Shante? I mean, Ms. Butterfly.”

“I don't know how I feel, Auntie Cynthia. It seems like a dream and I'm waiting for somebody to wake me up. Stuff like this just doesn't happen to me.”

“Well, it has happened and I could not be happier for you,” Ms. Alicia said.

“Oh, I almost forgot, Mom.”

“Forgot what?”

“I have to meet with Mrs. Gary on Monday morning.”

“About what?”

“I don't know, she didn't tell me. She just said it was very important.”

“What time?”

“Eight o' clock.”

“That's fine. That's only five in the morning, L.A. time. You can do that meeting and then we can get on the next available plane.”

“There's still one more thing.”

“Now what's the matter?”

“I'm scared to fly.”

“Have you ever flown before?”

“No, ma'am.”

“Oh well.”

“I have an idea, Auntie Alicia,” Bri said.

“And what's that?”

“I'm not afraid to fly. If I go with you, I can talk to Butterfly while we're flying to take her mind off of being in the air. It's a delicate situation and I could be a very valuable asset. Not to mention I won't eat much and I can sleep on the floor.”

“Actually, I think that's a good idea. But your mom is not going to let you fly to California on such short notice.”

“I don't know, Alicia. She may consider it if I go with you.” Auntie Cynthia chuckled.

“So everybody's trying to cash in on Butterfly's fame?” Ms. Alicia joked.

“Yup!” they answered in unison.

“I guess it won't hurt to ask.”

“Wait a damn minute, if all of y'all going to L.A., I'm going, too!” Auntie Pam said.

That evening, everybody came over to our house to wait for
Jeremy to pick me up for the prom. I wore a long formal white gown. It was fitted until it got to my knees and flared outward. It had spaghetti straps with the back out. In my heels I was about six feet three inches tall. My hair had an Asian-style bang trim in the front and was completely straight and hanging down my back like the way Naomi Campbell wears hers.

Jeremy pulled up in a stretched SUV Hummer. My family and friends took a million pictures of us before we left. I could not believe how Ms. Alicia could not stop crying. I'd had a dream-come-true experience earlier that day with my audition. That night it was Ms. Alicia's turn to live out her dream as a doting mother. If you asked me, I think she was happier than me.

Jeremy and I had fun at the prom. He tried his best to convince me to go to a hotel with him afterward. He said he had already spent a lot of money on the room and if we did not go, it would have been a waste. I told him that he should not have been so prematurely optimistic to assume that we were going to have sex on our prom night. He claimed it was not about sex; he just wanted to have that last night together. I told him two words, “Niggah, please!”

He dropped me back off at home around two in the morning. Pa-Pa was waiting up for me. I was on my way upstairs when he called me into the kitchen. He asked me to turn in circles, so he could see my dress.

“Okay, good!” Pa-Pa said.

“You like my dress, Pa-Pa?”

“Yes, the dress is nice, but that's not what I'm looking for.”

“What are you looking for?”

“I'm checking for wrinkles,” Pa-Pa examined me thoroughly, “Okay, you good. I can tell by the few wrinkles that it ain't been off of you.”

“Pa-Pa?”

“Don't Pa-Pa, me! I know what goes on, on prom night. Things ain't changed that much since I was a teenager. Y'all still do the same thing we did. Your young nasty asses just do more of it!”

“I don't do anything, Pa-Pa.”

“If you do, I better not ever get wind of it.”

“That's the last thing you have to worry about right now.”

“Come here.” Pa-Pa reached out his arms. I walked into Pa-Pa's arms and hugged him. “I heard about your audition for that television show.”

“Yeah, that's crazy, Pa-Pa. I still don't believe it.”

“I am so proud of you!” Pa-Pa hugged me again. “Don't get out there to Hollywood and forget about your people.”

“Forget about you? I haven't even had an audition yet. I probably won't even make the cut.”

“Don't worry, you will,” Pa-Pa let out a long yawn, “It's past my bedtime. I was just up waiting on you because I might not catch you before you go see your daddy in the morning.”

“Okay, Pa-Pa, let me put you in the bed.”

I grabbed Pa-Pa's arm and we began to walk toward the stairs. “Put me in the bed? I'm a grown-ass man, girl. I don't need nobody to help me get in the bed.”

“Shush! Come on, old man!”

I walked Pa-Pa to his room and then I went to bed. I am glad I had the opportunity to say good-bye to Pa-Pa one-on-one that night. I knew I would not get another chance before we left for Los Angeles. We were leaving first thing in the morning to go see my dad and would get back late Sunday evening. We were leaving early Monday morning because I had to meet with Mrs. Gary, and then we were heading straight to the airport from there.

Pa-Pa was not like other old people his age. He did not rise and
fall with the sun. He stayed up late watching movies he had no business watching and was always the last one to get up in the morning. I am thankful for our special time together, even if it was at two o' clock in the morning.

•   •   •

During that time, my headaches continued and they began to come more frequently and more severe. Every time I thought about the night of the killings, my head seemed like it was about to burst. Whatever I was blocking in my subconscious was trying its best to break through.

Dr. Forrester finally concluded that the spells may have originally begun from the events that happened on the night of the killings. But he felt that they became more intense because of the recent discovery of my unknown mother. My brain was trying to force my mind to remember my biological mother and until I found something, some memory, to connect our pasts together, the spells would continue. In order to find that connection, I would need my father's help.

On our May visit to see my father, Ms. Alicia went with us to formally introduce herself to my dad. Normally, Dr. Forrester and I visited one at a time for privacy. That day, the three of us sat with Dad at the same time to try to find out what was going on in my head.

“Hi, Mr. Stone, my name is Alicia. I can never thank you enough for so many different things you have done for our family. And I want you to know that we see you as an extension of our family.”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Alicia. And I can't thank you enough for taking care of my Butterfly during my unfortunate incarceration. The doc has told me a lot about you.”